tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12978569.post8230138229595099952..comments2023-10-24T05:38:08.518-07:00Comments on tp gal: Whirlwind Wedding Triptp_galhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13643883432183223759noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12978569.post-6770647125353203372012-08-06T15:10:28.457-07:002012-08-06T15:10:28.457-07:00You're right, and I'm sorry...
I thought ...You're right, and I'm sorry...<br /><br />I thought if I bundled all the airplane stuff together then we could move onto other things.tp_galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13643883432183223759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12978569.post-79312772060598560482012-08-06T14:50:10.513-07:002012-08-06T14:50:10.513-07:00You need to work on maintaining a chronological na...You need to work on maintaining a chronological narrative. I was about ten minutes into this opus (I am a slow reader) when I thought "Oh, my God, they are still not even off the plane yet." Then I realized you had bundled the nasty unpleasant details from both flights into one long flight section of your entry. This would be as if I wrote about my day like this: "A car almost hit me! A car almost hit me! Aaahh--a car almost hit me! A car almost hit me! I wrote a comment on a blog."<br /><br />You see how that doesn't work chronologically, much though I'd like to think I'm done for today with the cars? Just because a car almost hit me four different times doesn't mean you want to hear about it all at once. Also, it gives you a misleading picture of my day, which did not begin with some kind of car onslaught, but rather has been punctuated by close calls.Concerned Raccoonnoreply@blogger.com