Fictionary

Clobberation: (noun) Working “together”. The act of working together with one or more people to achieve something However, one or more people have strong and unmovable opinions about the outcome and will take all measures to get their own way.

In a sentence:

“Mary invited me to a clobberation session where she had all the answers pre-defined before I walked in the room. Any attempt on my part to propose an alternate suggestion was met with complete resistance. Later, when I disagreed with her in a meeting with my boss she screamed at me “But we agreed in our working session!”

Ramblings

I'm sad to see the picture of Duran Duran move to a lower profile in the blog. That photo represents a me that pops up every now and then. She's perky and silly.

The today TPgal is a little more responsible than TPgal circa 1984, but 1984 girl is still inside.

One little work story (maybe two) it has been established that the work e-mail system is on the fritz and personal e-mails have been lost. A quick chat with the offended friend today eliminated the need for paranoia. Whew! We won't be playing cards anytime soon, but at least we'll be hanging out!

Second story - one of my favorite co-workers is leaving for a new job. SportBoy is headed off to greener pastures and I wish him luck. The crazy thing is that the new BIG BOSS has decided that I'm the new "Marketing and PR" guru and the replacement SportBoy person will report to me. My minionhood grows and grows. However, as the smartest person on the team pointed out today my team just grew by negative 1. (The responsibility but no body.)

So in a year I went from one person to rule over to eight... dang I am management. I guess my next task is to figure out how to make their lives miserable so I can feel important.

In real life, I got a call from Elizabeth at Empire Windows about the entry I made into a drawing for all new windows in my house. "Sorry Elizabeth, it's a condo, I didn't enter a drawing. Don't call again." Click. Crazy telemarketers.

Talked to the parents, who are back from their whirlwind trip to Salt Lake City for a visit with my older Bother (that's how dad refers to him for me.) The visit was SHORT. Kev-o's wife and my parents don't mix well. Kev & M&D were chatting in the living room and Dee was in the kitchen and wigged out because she "KNEW" they were talking about her, so she stormed out. So, then... they talked about her. DUH.

It's easy for me to sit back and wonder at how she can be a b-atch sometimes and why does he stay? But what do I know... single gal, no mans, maybe you deal with your partner being a complete wacko sometimes because you love them? I don't think that's entirely true to the same level of slamming doors and storming out (that's a tad bit immature) but everyone has their nutz-o moments right? Even those of you with 2.3 kids and the little house in whitey-McWhite neighborhoods have your moments... right?

Seven and the Ragged Tiger

As a kid I laughed at the older generation for spending big dollars to see aged bands from their childhoods. What was the attraction? I wanted them to say good-bye to the seventies and embrace all that was right with the cool and totally awesome 80's.

Now that I'm *choke* almost 39 I see the attraction. A few years ago Duran Duran came on a tour and not only did I pay big bucks to go, but I almost cried when the music filled the arena. At one point I had to take a breath and soak in that I actually was there. No, Duran Duran is not at the same level as say the Beatles or for you youngsters the Nirvana reunion tour, but for a gal who had Simon LeBon posters plastered all over her room it was pretty great.

I did manage to skip the Air Supply Native American Casino Tour and the Rick Springfield, Rockin' the County Fair Tour. But the Hall and Oats concert at the pier made the list.

Next up, The Police! My seats suck, but I'm actually in the arena so I'm happy. I'm looking forward to it, but I wish I had old concert T-shirts to wear so I could be really cool.

Thankfully I can't put my finger on who I'm holding out to see next. Michael Jackson had a pretty big hold over me as a teenager, but now it's just sad, creepy and morally repugnant. I enjoyed the likes of Wham!, but am pretty sure that world touring might be a parole violation.

Ooh, actually I would go see Tears For Fears, but that's because I really loved their last album and because I need to Shout! Shout! Let it all out. (Get THAT out of your head!)

Paranoia

Memorial Day Weekend with friends was great but it kind of ended on an odd note. I resorted to name calling during a card game (and it was totally not done in anger, hate, or frustration) and I went too far. The name calling 'thing' is a terrible habit that I picked up from the family.

It isn't intended to be anything but funny. Clearly, I need to tone it down as I offended my friend Patti. She made it clear that she didn't appreciate it but finished the game where (thankfully I lost) but was quiet the rest of the evening.

She and J. left at 6am the next day so we didn't really get a chance to make amends. She did however leave their dog bowls behind. Rather than having S&K mail the dishes back I took them and dropped them at her house on my way home.

I haven't heard from either Patti or J. since the weekend and I thought for sure I at least would have received a small 'thanks' message as their house is about an hour out of my way. But there's been no communication.

I did fire off an e-mail mid-week regarding a dispute we had over the weekend as to the age of Lindsay Lohan and whether or not it was creepy that the guys think she's hot. She's 20, but it's still creepy. Poor poor rich girl.

So, I'm giving her some space, but I will not allow this friendship to just poof away over something stupid like bad sportsmanship on my part. The other thing to note is that she's out of town on business and probably hasn't given it a second thought. Once the negative thoughts stop swirling in my head I'll approach her as is nothing happened (for the record I apologized the moment the unfortunate word popped out of my mouth. In fact I think the sound of my apology overlapped the sound of the word. It was instant awareness.)

You all know that the last thing I need is to be dropped by another friend.

Push It

This Comcast commercial cracks me up.

Movie Review: The Break Up

These reviews are free so they can't all be timely. The Break Up staring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn is playing nightly on HBO and pay-per-view.

May I just say how delighted I am that I missed it at the theater. It wasn't funny and it's not really clear which character you're supposed to root for. Gary is a selfish snob, and Brooke is a wicked bi-Atch.

They pulled out all the stops and include a nice little part for Jon Favreau - who was so awesome in Swingers. He's the guy that brought us ELF - a wonderful pairing of Bob Newhart and Will Farrel. Even the witty and quick banter between Jon and Vince couldn't make this film enjoyable.

It's not as bad as Gigli or the Golden Bowl (the standard for all bad movies) but it was right up there with a Ben Aflec movie.

YUCK!

Wild Things in the Methow

Stupid thing to do before a road trip

Last night I tried to figure out why some of my newest music isn’t on my iPod and now I’m regretting it.

The reason and solution are technically very simple.  The iPod was originally formatted on a PC – meaning it was configured to synch with my crappy dell laptop.  Now that my life is on a Mac the iPod needed to be reformatted to “talk’ to the Mac. 

The reconfiguration took about 2 minutes but to complete the process the iPod needed to be plugged into the original charger for about 20 seconds.  Unfortunately for me, the charger is at work.  So I brought the iPod to the office, plugged it in a voila it is reconfigured.  There’s no music on it, but when I get back to my Mac (on MONDAY) I can load my tunes.

In hind site, the old music would have been preferable on my 4+ hour car ride tonight than NO music.  I could drive home after work, load music and THEN head over the mountains, but is it really worth the extra 90 minutes?  I have radio and 4 cassette tapes (I have a seriously old school radio in my car). The tapes are awesome:

Footloose Soundtrack
America’s Greatest Hits
Air Supply’s Greatest Hits
Jim Croche’s Greatest Hit 

Maybe I’ll hit a Fred Meyer or borders on the way out and see if anyone has any cassette tapes. 

Duck and Brother

Kev-o my older brother (or older bother as he's known in the inner circles) is a good guy. He works hard, loves his wife, is a good dad to her daughters, and tries to do the right things in life.

He joined the Marine's out of high school, and seemed to enjoy the brotherhood and the life. It wasn't always easy, but he was in for eight years. Those eight years included a tour in Iraq in 1990. Desert Storm V1.0. After he got home he got out and home life took over.

Eight years is a long time, and there's retirement monies there that are not lost to you if you join the Reserves or the National Guard, which is what he did. As a National Guardsman he spends a few hours a month, earns some extra cash and continues working towards a retirement check from the military. It's good deal.

9/11 happens and we (the family) are thankful that he's not in the Reserves as those folks are heading back to the Middle East. Kevin's unit got called up for a year to guard some super secret place in driving distance from his family in the Salt Lake City area (no they aren't Mormon - but everybody asks.) This ends up being a pretty good deal for them, he serves, he's home for most weekends, his job works out. Once it was over he went back to normal life.

After Katrina Kevin's unit went to Louisiana to help. He said it was sad and rewarding all at the same time. He felt a special connection to the people because "our people" are from there.

Life goes on, he's back to work, and yet this War in Iraq wages on. I care about the news reports and I feel for the families, but day after day is too much. Soon I'm focusing on Katie Holmes and her odd marriage, and funny things I see everyday. It's just easier to ignore it.

The news reports that the last of the stateside Reserve units are being called up. It barely blips in my head until I get the panicky phone call from Mom. Kevin's going back to Iraq. She doesn't say it, but our fears are in sync... what if we used up all of our luck the first time around?

People I've told ask what he does and when I say he's a driver, their response is to look away and say "oh." I try not to let the fact that the only fatalities the news talks about are related to IED's or roadside bombs scare the crap out of me. Of course they aren't going to comment on gun battles. Heck, it wasn't four years after he got home the first time that he shared that he wasn't just driving the mail around but that he was actually shooting at people. The news is skewed - so you can't let it scare you.

Mom listens to the latest out of Washington and the pressure that the President is getting to come up with an exit strategy and is filled with hope that he won't have to go. Sorry mom, these aren't people who care; they want to be re-elected. Totally different thing. Kevin himself seems resigned to the situation, "been there done that, what's there to be nervous about?" That's a nice state of mind.

What they want with a 42 year old asthmatic smoker is beyond me, but they're taking him. So, he's going. Yesterday he found out he's leaving June 12th. Mom and Dad will make the trip to SLC to visit and I will try to go. (the new boss, just had two weeks of vacation makes that a little more complicated than normal.) Mom gets all Momish when Kev's in peril which makes me think that she'll be better off without me there. However, I am a nice buffer for the unfortunate tense relations between Mom and Kev's wife. (There isn't enough time to go into that.) So, we'll see if I'm going.

That's the news...

That's not what I meant!

In a meeting today with the new big boss man my colleague’s laptop computer started to make a noise and wouldn’t close a program.  (Let’s call him Bob)

The girl colleague across the table asked innocently, “Are you hung?”

Uh… there’s almost no recovering from that, but she did a remarkable job while the rest of us giggled like little immature children. 

more vacation pix

A positive experience at Macy's

I've never been a huge fan of the Bon Marche' -- er Macy's. (Sorry, I'm old school Seattle.) You can seldom find someone to assist you and something usually goes wrong.

Case in point, I purchased an extra yard of my couch fabric to cover the areas where Peter the cat is likely to scratch. The fabric was ordered at the same time as the couch and so far Macy's has sent the wrong fabric twice. That said, there are just some things though, that must be purchased from Macy's - furniture is one category where they typically get my business.

I did buy some shoes before the trip and the very nice shoe guy offered me a 20% discount if I would put the shoes on my macy's account. I had intended on paying cash, but the discount was almost $28 so I agreed. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that he didn't apply the discount.

With no time and little desire to drive back to the store before vacation I tried to call the store - I don't recommend it. You'll end up in an irritating loop between voicemail and the switchboard system. I decided to try macys.com and ended up leaving a small message on their customer feedback board.

Lo and behold, upon my return from Sunny Mexico a message was waiting for me from the store manager. My account has been credited the $28! How very wonderful!

Now if I could only figure out how to get them to turn this floral upholstery into the kind I actually need I could die happy.

Poolside Fashion No-No

Warning... this one is not for the weak.

Senior Speedo Gonzales was with us for three days. He was a fan of sunscreen but not of rubbing it in to his skin so he spent a lot of time with the white cream on his face.

We also greatly "admired" his pretty gold necklace.

Guacamole Tour 2007

Perfect weather, an amazing hotel with a swim-up bar and a private beach made for a delightful vacation. We swam almost every day, played a lot of Boggle, ate really well and contributed to the local economy (shopped).

We invested in a guided tour of the Sierra Madres and while it was geared for tourists it wasn't totally disgusting and we loved it! Two big BMW jeep things drove us up into the mountains where we took a hike, spent time on a rural farm, ate hand-made fire cooked tortillas, explored a town of about 1200 people, and then finished off the afternoon on a private beach with Mexican BBQ and swimming in the ocean. All in all ... a great day!

Rico spent one morning on a "Canopy Tour" which is this crazy thing where they've tied cables above the trees strap you onto them and push you off rickety little platforms. As you zip across the jungle you try to put the fact that Mexico seems to have few personal safety laws out of your head. While he was off doing this, I was at the spa paying them to place hot rocks on my back and trying to stay awake. After my 90 minute session I was in a drunken stupor and had to spend the rest of the day in the pool. (Darn)

Some things about Mexico you can not gleen from the brochures and web sites, the first thing is that it is not a place for anyone with less than 100% walking capability. I think each business owner owns the sidewalk in front of their building and were allowed to put them in at what ever height they wanted. There can be a 6 to 18 inch differential in the sidewalk from building front to building front and block to block. Some are wide enough for two to walk side by side, others are so narrow that the street is the better option.

While the boardwalk area, beaches and hotels are an oasis of relaxation and beauty the city and the roads are less than idyllic. We took the bus a lot to avoid a $8 cab ride into town and it was an adventure. The buses don't appear to be on a maintenance schedule and the suspension systems were for the most part... shot to hell. However, the patrons were always quiet and kept to themselves unlike the buses here where it can get quite noisy.

We saw lots of wild life. Dolphins, Cows, Birds, Bugs, Chickens, Pelicans and the elderly cruise passengers.

Can't we just wax off our Bush?

I know... it's a terrible title, but I'm not changing it.

I heard on NPR today that Bush vetoed the Iraq exit bill and his comments were something along the lines of 'I'll not accept any bill that proposes an arbitrary deadline for failure in Iraq.'

I guess it's pretty apparent that he's not using Oprah's secret (thinking positive thoughts to get what you want out of life) regarding the outcome.

a deadline for failure... what a MORON!!

As for the waxing thing... the little salon down the road does Bush waxing for $35 - should we start a walk-a-thon to raise money?

A better frame of mind

My bags are packed, the cat box has been re-freshened (someday I will create a cat that doesn't poop - that will be my gift to the world!), dishes are done and I'm mostly ready to go!

I can't find my digital camera battery charger and I think I've looked everywhere. Obviously I haven't looked everywhere or I would have it. I remember the outlet I last used it in, but Ive had dinner guests since then so it could be ANYWHERE.

What you ask is the connection between the battery charger and dinner guests? The answer my friends is frantic last minute cleaning - and surface cleaning at that. You know, the last minute sweep through of anything out of place. It goes in a big pile to someplace the guests will never go. Yes, I've already checked the laundry area and the scary places in the "office". It will I'm sure magically appear the day I get back.

We leave tomorrow at 7:45 am - so I'm picking up Mr. Rico at 6:00 a.m. thank heavens there's a drive thru starbucks on the way to his house.

I don't expect to get blackberry service in Mexico - but I'm sure the hotel has a business center so you may be getting an update.

I did stop by Tropic Dreams for one last fake 'n bake. The gal suggested upping the minutes so I was adventurous and gave myself a 7 minute top off. Most of you have never done the tanning bed thing - Janie use to be totally tan-arexic until she had to have a little something burned off her skin, now she's a pasty white as God intended. Anywho - the build up to 7 minutes is actually funny because the leatherettes around me at the check-in counter are signing up for 16-20 minute sessions. Good Christ are they cooking a chicken in there? As it was, for me anyway, 7 minutes was enough to feel a little crispy. No matter - I'm done with the fake tanning (until my prince charming comes to whisk me away to Greece for a year - I may have to top off the exoskeleton when that happens.)

I guess that's it. maybe though I'll leave you with some (OLD) "poetry" to tide you over.

Here's an oldie from 1998:

6501 1/2
Ode to my upstairs neighbors
(also a primary driver for moving )

I put my book down and turn off the light
my lids close and I'm embraced by the night

This is the time for quiet to grow,
instead my ear drums begin to blow

I can hear every word, every intonation
every noise, every tiny reverberation

at 11 they lay in bed, laugh and talk
by midnight, I'm angry and want to balk

at 1 they're watching a dirty movie
by 2 they're quiet... in a little groovie

at 2:15, I'm frustraited, wide awake
upstairs the bed moves and the ceiling shakes

I hear a sigh, a coo and a yearning moan
She calls out a name and yells a groan

Above me the movement slows and I think they're done
but no they start again, having pleased just one

It sounds to me like digging for buried treasure,
she's pretty vocal about her ambassador of pleasure

at 4am I just want to roll over and die
and finally I hear it - the girls last sigh

I drift away into a dark bliss
the alarm sounds... fuck it's 6!

I make it to work and slump at my desk
plop my head down for a little rest

The phone rings, my head flies up disturbing the pool,
I have to wipe my face, remove the drool

What did I do to deserve this degradation?
How do I endure nightly sleep deprivation?

Tonight I'm ready, I have ear plugs
and have filled my body with hard core drugs

I snuggle in my bead, ready for a riot
but its peaceful upstairs, blissfully quiet

I can't hear nary a peep
I softly drift ... off...to...sleep

Certainly not Ogden Nash, but it is based on a true event.

What's the dealio?

I’m headed out tomorrow morning for a fabulous vacation, but I am covered in a thick ooze of gloom.  I’m not sure if it is because I’m tired and yet still have a ton of work stuff to do, or if it’s the lack of exposure to the new boss prior to my departure or that I’m just cranky.  I do know it isn’t biological so all you who immediately jump to that conclusion need to pop off with another theory.

One thing that is bothering me is that I approached the new manager (NM) on something I needed a decision on, and even after two follow ups I’m still without an answer.  I will now move forward with the assumption that the answer is no, but I have to say I’m cranky about the lack of follow through.  Yes, I am being a little bit of a victim, but I think I was crystal clear about what I wanted, why it was important and when I needed an answer.  I don’t feel that yet another follow up is in my best interest at this point, but I doubt that I have the maturity to just let it go.

I have a bitter little scene running through my head:

Scene – MegaBank cubicle farm near future

Coworker:  blah blah blah… Zigfield Conference….blah blah

New Manager: Oh hey TPgal, didn’t you talk to me about that once?

TPgal: (with attitude) Yup, I needed your permission to arrange travel to attend and speak.

New Manager: So are you going?

TPgal:  Um, no… you didn’t get back to me.

New Manager:  (defensively) well, why didn’t you follow up?

TPgal:  Well, after we talked three times about it I assumed that you would actually respond with an answer.

New Manager:  Clearly, if it had been important to you, you would have not only met with me three times, but sent multiple e-mails, posted billboards outside my office AND put flyers on my car.  Frankly, I think you’re just being a big baby!

TPgal: yes, yes I am wahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Really, I could follow up again with an e-mail or a walk-by but it’s his second damn week in the job and I really wanted him to be the kind of person who actually followed through.    Honestly, the loss of the trip is beside the point.

Anyway… I’m about to eat some lunch that should even me out a little.  I’m also touring the new Seattle Art Museum today, that will lift my mood somewhat.

I’ll try to post a positive message prior to my departure so you aren’t left with a week and a half of TPgal pissing and moaning.

Alec Baldwin

Nobody really cares what I think, but as it’s *MY* blog, I’m going to tell you anyway.

That horrible phone message rant to Baldwin’s daughter was played for me without warning; it was on my “nice” am morning radio show that I’ve listened to for the past 20 plus years.  Having heard it and been shocked and disturbed by it, I feel a sense of outrage.  Well maybe not screaming at inappropriate people outrage, but controlled disgust.

I’m disgusted at Mr. Baldwin for losing his cool like that with his kid.  If that’s who you really are Mr. Baldwin, you need help.  I certainly don’t mean, oops I cut all my hair off and I’m going to re-hab help either.  I mean sessions with a certified professional.

I’m disgusted at the people who are supposed to be advocates for this little girl but yet distributed the message to the media.

I’m disgusted that with all the talk about this message there hasn’t been a louder dialog about abuse and anger management.  I’m not suggesting that Mr. Baldwin is an abuser, but this would be an opportune time to talk about the signs of abuse, or how to get away from someone before it escalates to violence.

I’m disgusted at media outlets that are supposed to be reputable (CNN!?) who posted this as a summary to today’s follow up story: “Story HighlightsDr. Phil says Baldwin called him for advice “

I’m disgusted at Dr. Phil who is posing as a mental health professional and yet doesn’t understand thing ONE about patient confidentiality.  Unless he was asked to leak that to the media and then I say poo on Mr. Baldwin’s pr machine for thinking that going to the “yelling therapist” for advice was a good idea.

 

In fact, poo on everyone involved! You people stink!  Maybe I am a little outraged.

My Samsung has last rung...

It's been five days since I found my new cell phone in the washing machine. I'd like to blame the cat but he doesn't do a damn thing around the house so I'm pretty sure it was me. Each day the display looks more and more normal.

I want to plug the thing into the charger and see what happens but I am afraid of it shorting out and causing a regional blackout. I may wait until about 5 minutes before I leave on vacation and that way I can't be blamed for any damage.

As much as I feel naked without a lifeline, I think I will wait until after I get back from Mexico to purchase a replacement. I'm pretty sure it would be in bad taste to ask the kind people who pitched in to buy this one for me as a gift to pitch in again. Perhaps Emily Post might ask me to rethink that.

Purchasing the insurance would have been a good idea and it would have basically guaranteed that I would never need to use it. My track record with car insurance, extra maintenance guarantees, postal insurance generally and very unscientifically proves my theory.

SadRico, however did prove that the $14 insurance policy on the rental truck for moving day was worth it. It saved me between $300-400 when Rico hit my neighbors car with the big truck. Whew!

Well - I guess that's all I've got for now. Headed to bed early, as it's been a long week.

The Spin Master

In an eastern region of Ethiopia yesterday a small outbreak of violence occurred between Ethiopian Military who were guarding a Chinese oil drilling operation and a regional separatist group called the OGADEN NATIONAL LIBERATION FRONT (ONLF).

The BBC reports that it was a massacre where 9 Chinese nationals and "scores" of Ethiopian military guards were killed in an unprovoked attack.

Conversely, the ONLF spokesperson disputes the use of the word "massacre" and says it was a fight and that they won. He does claim that 350 Ethopian troops were killed and his side lost two men.

I don't pretend to understand the politics behind this event - I believe the ONLF doesn't appreciate the Ethiopian gov't allowing and spending resources to enable foreign oil drilling, while the people of the region are living in poverty. (See also the economics of oil drilling in the gulf off of Louisiana.)

I do wonder if the ONLF spokesperson had to compete for his job. "Alright Abdirahman, here's the scenario. We've just sunk a boat with 20 kittens and Mother Theresa. What would you say to the media?"

Things that aren't good to find in the laundry

Maybe once it dries out it will work again...

Motto

This company mission statement was at the bottom of an e-mail I received today, I was hoping it is a joke, but it’s not.

"Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibility and leveraging profitability toward exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first"

Book Review: The Stranger Beside Me

I grew up aware of Ted Bundy, maybe it was because he was a "local" or the shocking nature of his crimes. I saw the Mark Harmon tv movie (which scared the CRAP) out of me and to my horror today attended a Ted's Dead celebration party in College.

I had not however, read Ann Rule's book. It is in fact, very good even today. She does take some license in describing his thoughts and emotions over some actions that I doubt she could really know, but does a wonderful job of showing the duality in his life.

Amazon.com sent me (because I asked them to) the Updated 20th Anniversary Edition that has a note from the author penned in 2000. This follows the "Last Chapter" drafted in 1989 following Mr. Bundy's execution and the "Update" from 1986, which followed the Epilogue from 1980.

A little like the last 20 minutes of the final Lord of the Rings everything starts wrapping up very fast and you have to pay attention. Mr. Bundy did some last minute confessing which brought some information to the families. I wouldn't dare to call it closure.

Ms. Rule has a unique voice that suits the non-fiction crime genre. She's not overly solicitous about the gory details and doesn't try to beef up the story. It was a good read but more than a little creepy. I did feel sheepish about reading on the bus.

As an aside, my dear father met Mr. Bundy in 1973 or so when he was working on Governor Dan Evans' staff. Dad's recollection was that he was charming, but in that political way where someone smiles at you while you are talking but aren't really listening and the moment they turn away they stop smiling. Dad was convinced that his "murderous activities" hadn't yet begun at that point, but was surprised to learn that in fact they had.

So, all these years later - lesson number one... don't hitchhike, lesson number two if someone seems creepy they ARE creepy.

Red Lobster!

I foolishly tried to "take the edge" off my white white body by signing up for some tanning sessions.

Starting slowly, I purchased 10 sessions and unrobed for the first. Four minutes on a medium bed was all I wanted to endure. It's an odd place, the tanning salon. Orange colored teenagers check you in and give you your salon number.

Your room is a closet with a massive coffin looking thing in it. There's no instructions other than hit the blue button when you're ready.

I donned my space alien eye wear and hit the blue button, which is across the room from the 'bed'. I hoped on, and pulled the casket thing around myself. This was all a little difficult because I had my eyes closed.

The heat from the bulbs is actually pretty nice and you do feel a burst of energy from the UV rays. The downside is smelling your burnt skin for the rest of the day.

Yesterday I went back for session 2 of 10 (another 4 minutes) and opted not to fully disrobe. NO ONE IS GOING TO SEE MY WHITE WHITE ASS! I failed to remember this when it came to my chestal region, and today I am PINK.

Sadly due to the prone position the undersides of my breasts got the brunt of the burn. If it doesn't cool off by tomorrow I may need to skip Tuesday's session altogether. The idea is to take the edge off, not leather up. I may be pretending to be a feminist tomorrow - that's never a good look (braless) although I made it through today with only mild whining.

I would snap a photo of the red red boobies, but frankly I'm pretty confident you're not interested.

At any rate - the next session (whenever it may be) will be torso covered event. I promise.

Soundtrack of your life

From Don't Trust Snakes here's my answers to the "soundtrack" game:

The instructions:

Set your iTunes etc. to "Party Shuffle," "Random" or whatever the appropriate setting is, refresh it then fill in the form below.

No cheating, just do it, yes that includes you . . .

You may be surprised how scarily accurate this can be."

Here is mine.

(Copy and paste then delete my answers and fill in yours).

Title: "Pefect Situation" - Weezer
Opening Credits: "In My Head" - No Doubt
Waking up: "We're not going to make it" - The Presidents of The United States of America
First Day of school: "Heart of Gold" - The Kinks
Falling in Love: "Love is A Stranger" - Eurythmics
Fight Song: "Learn to Love" - Harry Connick, Jr.
Breaking Up: "She Bop" - Cindy Lauper
Prom/First date: "Blue Savannah" - Erasure
Life: "Who Killed Tangerine?" - Tears for Fears
Mental Breakdown: "Disturbance at The Heron House" - R.E.M.
Driving: "Mobile" - Avril Lavigne
Flashback: "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye To Yesterday" - Boyz II Men
Getting Back Together: "Shaking the Tree" - Peter Gabriel
Wedding: "Cuyahoga" - R.E.M
Birth of Child: "Bad Connection" - Yaz
Final Battle: "Better Together" - Jack Johnson
Death Scene: "Let's Just Kiss" - Harry Connick, Jr.
Funeral Song: "Good Riddance" - Green Day
End Credits: "Last Days On Earth" - Tears For Fears

Well, hmmm some of these are pretty funny. The "breakup song" is about masturbation (tee hee) and I think I did dance to Blue Savannah at my prom.

My "funeral song" is one that you can play at my funeral. In spite of the name it's about remembering to make the best of every day.

It appears that my one Harry Connick Jr. album is getting too much play on my soundtrack.

My "final battle" song is a little too upbeat - it's not quite as "I'm gonna go down fighting" as I would like, but neither is my fight song. I guess my philosophy is to love them to death.

Ooks!

Sad news to report, my cool optical mouse with the handy roller ball died overnight.  The “handy” on-line service request system is not set up to request a new mouse.  I can get a whole new laptop bundle in 24 hours, but not a replacement mouse.  Maybe I’ll “Have” to go to Frye’s after work tonight.  R.I.P. old mouse, there were some good times together.  Remember that Onion.com article about the secret service agent who jumped in front of President Bush to save him from having to answer a direct question.  That was funny.  Good-bye friend.

So as I was digging through the “Drawer of Crap” to find a temporary mouse (I just can’t function with the little mid-keyboard nipple my finger gets cramps)  I started to express my mild dissatisfaction with Gidget who sits near my “office”.  As we were chatting I realized that the cord on the mouse was just long enough to act as a jump rope, so I took a couple hops.  Acknowledging that I looked ridiculous I stopped (we laughed) and I turned to head to my “office”.  It was then that I saw the conference room that has full view of our common area is in use and that some “suit” was looking at me.  *BLUSH* 

Oh well, I never said I was mature. 

(Ooks isn’t a typo – it’s homage to my friend Rich’s college lab partner who used “ooks” instead of “oops” to indicate a mistake.  No amount of friendly coaching could get him off of “ooks” and thus it has firmly entered itself into our vocabulary.)

gob smacking

According to the BBC News (which I like because of the accent) women civil service employees are outraged about some new questions on their annual required physical check up.

The new questions ask them to detail their last menstrual period and if they've ever been "confined" which is an interesting way of describing maternity leave.

I've had boyfriends ask "are you on your period?" in the middle of a disagreement and barely live to tell about it, but I don't think withholding sex would work with my employer. I'm doing that today and it's not getting me anywhere.

It's not really clear to me how a period affects anyone's ability to 'ride a desk' but perhaps the Indian Government knows more than I do about this, as my grandma described, "wonderful gift." Yes, you guessed it, Christmas gifts from grandma sucked.

Just so you don't get the impression that the US media is the only one who will print the most wacky things because it's funny... to describe the anger felt by the women this is the quote they chose to run:

"It's gob smacking."

Uh ok, I guess that means that they're pissed?

My Humps?

I have to say that while the tune is catchy... I have HATED this song since the beginning, but you have to watch it, and then the Alanis Morissette version. Totally funny!



now watch this:



Do you think they are talking about her ass?

Sonics

AP Newswire:  Sonics, Storm owners reach agreement to buy Renton site

The Sonics hope the arena will be ready for the 2010-11 NBA season.

Note to self:

Move before fall 2010

A New Friend

I noticed this little guy outside my office window and had to step out and try to get a photo. This shot actually works for me, I like the soft greens and purples in the background. Not too bad... I'll not put my work against the serious photographers out there, but sometimes I get one right.

Motivative, the response

Anonymous writes after reading Motivative:

I must correct you here TP. The folks from the Yakima Nation Tribal College are indigenous people. THEY AREN'T THE FOREIGNERS!!! WE ARE!!! DUH!!!

TPgal said:
The kids that won in our room were the crew from the Heritage University from the Yakima Nation Tribal College. I knew it, foreigners get all the breaks.

TP Gal Responds: I am fully aware that the students who attend the Heritage College are traditionally native people - I though for sure that it was somewhat obvious that I was trying to be funny.

I apologize if my attempt at satire was lost on you. (Satire is where you say something so obviously wrong that it's funny. See Stephen Colbert as an example.)

In reality, the day spent with these kids is very inspiring; it is amazing what they are able to do. The team from HU deserved to win, and I was delighted to be able to hear their presentation. They are mostly first generation high school grads and college students and they've done remarkable research regarding the economic condition of the Yakima Valley and have tailored their program to serve the community.

They recognize that the Hispanic population of the Yakima Valley area is exploding and have developed classes to teach business owners not only Spanish language but cultural facts that will help them better relate to this market segment.

They found that because the population of the YV has almost twice the unemployment rate of the rest of the state and the median income is remarkably less than in other areas of the state that there was a need to distribute information about high interest credit cards and short term pay-day loans to help educate about the true high costs of these items.

They also partnered with a club in Mexico and helped a village of families who had been subsistence farming to form a co-op and grow organic vegetables and raise chickens. By teaching them basic business and economic skills this co-op now sells their goods to restaurants in a neighboring city. The HU outreach has significantly impacted the lives of these families.

Good luck to the team from Yakima! Do the state proud!

(As an aside, it turns out that almost 40% of the students at the college are of Hispanic ethnicity and most are first generation Americans. I didn't highlight this fact in my original post because I wanted to make a joke. However, I think if anyone is going help turn around the economic crap-hole that the Yakima Valley finds itself in these days it's these kids. I am humbled by their efforts. See now you've learned something, but it probably wasn't as fun as the first post.)

Happy Easter

Yaz turned me on to Slate.com blogging the bible and it got me thinking... what else is out there... so I googled the Lego Jesus and came up with the Brick Testament, a cute and well crafted slide show of the life and times of Jesus.

It's Good Friday, so I snipped this as a sample for you: (the angel rolls away the stone and the guards tremble and fall as if dead)

Motiative

What!?

I do only one good thing a year as I'm quite selfish and too important to help others. Today was my day to give back to the little people.

I participated as a judge for a regional collegiate competition. Schools from the "region" (Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Alaska, California, Nevada and Hawaii) known as "the whole fricken West side of the USA" presented an annual report of their activities for the last year. They have a charter to promote business ethics, economic growth and other useless skills.

The presentations are good but what's really fun isn't hearing about how they taught high school and college kids credit card skills, or created a micro-loan program to enable immigrants be self-sustaining. No, the fun part is judging others.

There were many remarkable kids there but here were the top two that stood out:

The boy who brushed off his knee length tuxedo jacket to double as a business attire. It was cute, and in my head I gave him kudos for bravery. I did cut his points in half because he has to learn the harsh truth that fashion matters.

The other notable student was a gal who will win the "TP gal 2007 Fictionary Award" for excellentary word creatoryness. In less than 8 minutes she dropped the following words:

Motivative

Interactual

Advisement ** this apparently IS a word, but I promise you not in the context with which she used it.

Reoccurent

It was so bad that the CEO of CoinStar (seriously) mocked the team about their new vocabulary. Probably not his nicest move, but he's the CEO so whose going to tell him to shove it?

I did get into a raging debate with a student from the College of the Nazarene about the rights of students to post what they want on their MySpace pages. I was all "Look here Jesus-girl, if you put pictures of yourself doing heroin with your pet goat on a public web page expect people to judge you. Duh!!"

She was all "goat?"

Score the point for tp gal.

The kids that won in our room were the crew from the Heritage University from the Yakima Nation Tribal College. I knew it, foreigners get all the breaks.

City University-Bellevue also won... All they did was create a multi-cultural program to help immigrants build businesses, get jobs, and thrive (whatever) in our economy. Their program reminded me of a Jackson Pollack painting...anyone could have done it.

So, now that my one good deed for the year is done I have to say I'm exhausted. It is hard work having to listen to each team brag about their year long activities. I don't mean to whine, I'm sure that my six hours of time will totally change their lives. I just worry what they'll do without my guidance going forward. So can see, right, how it's a concern?

Oooh and the weirdest thing... There was a girl there whose name was Stephanie Petersen!!! How bizarre is that?

Sorry, one more thing I can never judge again because the judge demographics survey has its age boxes all screwed up.

18-24

25-35

36-45

46 and older

What the hell!? I don't accept that I share a box with 45 year olds.

Ta ta... I'm off to do more good deeds!

Book Review: Saturday by Ian McEwan

I told a friend that I was reading this book and she was excited to learn that the actor from Moulon Rouge, Trainspotting, and the second (more embarrassing) Star Wars had written a novel. Sorry, wrong person. Ewan McGregor has written a book, but it's more of a diary of his around the world on a motorcycle experience. It was interesting and a fun read, but I wouldn't call him a writer any more that I do myself.

Saturday is written by the author that wrote Atonement, and The Innocent. He's actually got quite a few under his belt, and Amazon informs me that he just about to release another.

The non-ObiWan has crafted an entire book about one Saturday in the life of a British Neurosurgeon and his family. Had it not been recommended to me by a trusted friend I might not have made it past the morning wakeup and shower ritual - which took more than 50 pages.

While the day is extraordinary in some of the events that occur it is believable all the things he packs into his day off - including a couple consults at the hospital, a visit to his addled mum, and an unfortunate fender bender. All of this is set against the backdrop of a single day on the eve of the American's pushing ahead to invade Iraq. McEwan gives us two distinct opinions on the issue during a debate the main character holds in his kitchen. Published in 2006, but set in 2003 the good doctor speculates that the war will last a few weeks and it will be looked upon as a crowning achievement for the Americans.(oh well... he's an author not a seer)

I was content to read 20 pages on the way into work and 20 on the way home each day until yesterday when I hit the last 80 or so pages and I had to decide between finish reading in my car at the park and ride or zip home and finish it in bed. Safety won out and I finished last night at about 11:00 - (I'm not a slow reader didn't leave get home until almost 9 and spent an hour with my friend the tv. )

I must say that I'm glad I read it, as someone who wished they could write (not this stream of conscienceness stuff but weaving scenic metaphors and building suspense) it was enjoyable to observe McEwan's craft.

All that said... if you're going to only read one Ian McEwan book. it should be Atonement.

If you're going to read only one Ewan McGregor book it has to be Long Way Round.

May the force be with you.

Movie Review: Zodiac

If you like cop dramas but don't need the car chases this could be the movie for you. It was smart, well acted (well... Robert Downey Jr is a tad cartoonish for my taste) and enjoyable.

It wasn't scary but at times quite suspenseful. The fashions were a little frightful, but I think it was intentional.

Clearly not a movie for kids, but worthy of viewing. Most definately drop it in to your NetFlix queue.

Mulling

Step back, I've been thinking...

I'm talking with another company about a job. It's confusing because I am not unhappy where I am, and it's pretty stable at MegaBank which is nice. I'm finally feeling financially solid after years (since forever) of being in debt and behind the curve on the debt to income ratio and I would hate to get myself in a situation where I could go backwards. It's not that the proposed job wouldn't match or more than likely pay more, but stability in that they fired the last guy. He wasn't a good fit, and I would hate that to happen to me. Obviously, they aren't going to take a "chance" on the replacement but there is always a chance of a job not working out. Leaving a completely stable place and taking a risk is new territory for me.

I'm making lists of pro's and con's and trying to be realistic, and yet embrace my adventureness. One thing that's bothering me, is that we've had a LOT of turn over at MegaBank in my group and while a certain amount of change is good, the idea of telling my manager that I'm thinking about leaving makes me want to puke. I don't have any delusions that I'm holding the team together, and I'm not on the "high talent" list which means that if I say I'm leaving they're supposed to try and retain my services. But the timing would suck for the team.

Since I'm only one interview into a three interview process (and I'm not sure how many other people they are talking too) I don't want to spend too many cycles on this topic, but its swirling around in my head.

The one good thing for MegaBank is that in light of the remote possibility that I'm leaving I am trying to catch up on all the crap I've been ignoring for ages. I'm working harder than ever these days - I don't want to be the one people blame after they are gone. "Oh, yeah... tpGal was supposed to do that... she didn't do anything around here." Some of that can't be avoided, but I know which areas I don't want smack talked about me.