What a week

I don't want to whine about work, but FRACK I am busy! The new boss has kicked off a huge thing (can't really go into it and honestly it isn't all that interesting) and has doled out assignments to the management team.

Normally, I would just pass these off to the minions and take credit, but since we're down two already I have to buck up and contribute. (What a hassle.) Today was a big due date for some pre-milestones. The PM who is overseeing the work we're doing is REALLY EFFICIENT and while I want to pop him one in the kisser every time he checks in on me I'm going to have my crap done because of his diligence. So, I have to admit that he's extremely effective. You can't fault a dude for being good. I still spit in his coffee every chance I get - a gal can only be so mature.

So, (isn't the work stuff so exciting?) today I ran the first of three huge things (two huge, one not so huge) by the under-boss and the first words out of her mouth was "why are you working on that?" I shat myself a little and clarified (that's business for: screamed in her face) that it was a direct result of her comment that we needed an X strategy. I also mentioned it's been on the status report that PM has been producing to HER weekly. Step up and read the shit you ask for!!!

We finally got on the same page (business for: one of us caved) and I went back to my desk where I got a call from the "other company" that I interviewed with like three months ago. Surprise surprise, they hired someone else. I was completely shocked. I mean come on, we talked once in March and never again... how could they NOT have chosen me? (They'll be sorry and when this dude quits or they have to fire him. They'll really pay to bring me on board - especially now that I have experience writing strategies for things no one wants. That is a skill people pay for!)

I had my review, apparently, I'm a star! Of course, the mid-year rating doesn't mean much but what a great way to keep me working like a dog in the promise of financial compensation at year end! I love it.

Then... (it was a busy day and truth be told this timeline has been adjusted to play in the time allowed) I had a "hand off" meeting with one of my now former co-workers. Hand-off should imply that outgoing person hands a packet of stuff to someone else, not so in this case. About 2 minutes in to the discussion my head popped off my body rose up about 3 feet above the table and exploded like the Death Star. I scooped up the pieces and decided that with an hour left in his last day that no amount of bitchiness on my part would change anything other than a chance to have a cordial relationship with someone who is fun which I guess makes up for the lack of delivery.

Note to all you future consultants... don't offer your 'discounted' service rate to your former employer to finish up the shit you had YEARS to do. You already got paid to do that work...

Breathe deep.

Then, I went back to my desk and answered an email from a friend. She's in public relations and will sometimes ask me to comment on a product or products. It's pretty harmless and who doesn't like to tell others what they think. However, I did reply back with a question.. am I the ONLY person in your focal group? She responded with *giggle* . So I'm guessing yes.

After work, I popped up to the chic bar and had cocktails with the departing dude. I held my tongue because I'm a good person. (Well, I held my tongue until 9:45 tonight when I let the angry raging bitch loose.)

Anyway - I'm glad this week is over. I intend to sleep in tomorrow, catch up on laundry, update the book group blog and figure out the plan for the evening tomorrow. (Got me some ballet tickets and we're supposed to have dinner but the e-mail planning didn't really pan out.)

That's not a double entendre.... there's no other way to take it

A new co-hort at MegaBank said that during one of his interviews with a senior manager she was asking a thousand questions on one topic. (She wanted to hire someone that "could go ten questions deep" into the security domain.) While she was asking the next layer question he said he caught onto her game and said to himself... Strap it on!!! Uh, I can't be too sure, but I think the phrase is "bring it on."

He tried to cover with "Oh I meant, you know, strap it on like a backpack."

Yeah... and when I tell you to "kiss off" I'm nicely saying goodbye.

Testing Photos Via Email

Guess not…  unless the photo is a blank box with an error symbol.  You never know you may someday need to post one of those and blogspot will come to the rescue.

Testing Photos Via Email

Blogspot lets you post remotely by sending e-mail to a special address.  It’s pretty great and it will retain the formatting if you send in HTML (my mom read that and thought to herself, “hitmal?”)  I’m wondering if it will post pictures that are sent via e-mail as well….

Let’s try it shall we?  Below this sentence (in my e-mail) is a picture of an unlit light-bulb.  Can you see it?

 

Fictionary

Clobberation: (noun) Working “together”. The act of working together with one or more people to achieve something However, one or more people have strong and unmovable opinions about the outcome and will take all measures to get their own way.

In a sentence:

“Mary invited me to a clobberation session where she had all the answers pre-defined before I walked in the room. Any attempt on my part to propose an alternate suggestion was met with complete resistance. Later, when I disagreed with her in a meeting with my boss she screamed at me “But we agreed in our working session!”

Ramblings

I'm sad to see the picture of Duran Duran move to a lower profile in the blog. That photo represents a me that pops up every now and then. She's perky and silly.

The today TPgal is a little more responsible than TPgal circa 1984, but 1984 girl is still inside.

One little work story (maybe two) it has been established that the work e-mail system is on the fritz and personal e-mails have been lost. A quick chat with the offended friend today eliminated the need for paranoia. Whew! We won't be playing cards anytime soon, but at least we'll be hanging out!

Second story - one of my favorite co-workers is leaving for a new job. SportBoy is headed off to greener pastures and I wish him luck. The crazy thing is that the new BIG BOSS has decided that I'm the new "Marketing and PR" guru and the replacement SportBoy person will report to me. My minionhood grows and grows. However, as the smartest person on the team pointed out today my team just grew by negative 1. (The responsibility but no body.)

So in a year I went from one person to rule over to eight... dang I am management. I guess my next task is to figure out how to make their lives miserable so I can feel important.

In real life, I got a call from Elizabeth at Empire Windows about the entry I made into a drawing for all new windows in my house. "Sorry Elizabeth, it's a condo, I didn't enter a drawing. Don't call again." Click. Crazy telemarketers.

Talked to the parents, who are back from their whirlwind trip to Salt Lake City for a visit with my older Bother (that's how dad refers to him for me.) The visit was SHORT. Kev-o's wife and my parents don't mix well. Kev & M&D were chatting in the living room and Dee was in the kitchen and wigged out because she "KNEW" they were talking about her, so she stormed out. So, then... they talked about her. DUH.

It's easy for me to sit back and wonder at how she can be a b-atch sometimes and why does he stay? But what do I know... single gal, no mans, maybe you deal with your partner being a complete wacko sometimes because you love them? I don't think that's entirely true to the same level of slamming doors and storming out (that's a tad bit immature) but everyone has their nutz-o moments right? Even those of you with 2.3 kids and the little house in whitey-McWhite neighborhoods have your moments... right?

Seven and the Ragged Tiger

As a kid I laughed at the older generation for spending big dollars to see aged bands from their childhoods. What was the attraction? I wanted them to say good-bye to the seventies and embrace all that was right with the cool and totally awesome 80's.

Now that I'm *choke* almost 39 I see the attraction. A few years ago Duran Duran came on a tour and not only did I pay big bucks to go, but I almost cried when the music filled the arena. At one point I had to take a breath and soak in that I actually was there. No, Duran Duran is not at the same level as say the Beatles or for you youngsters the Nirvana reunion tour, but for a gal who had Simon LeBon posters plastered all over her room it was pretty great.

I did manage to skip the Air Supply Native American Casino Tour and the Rick Springfield, Rockin' the County Fair Tour. But the Hall and Oats concert at the pier made the list.

Next up, The Police! My seats suck, but I'm actually in the arena so I'm happy. I'm looking forward to it, but I wish I had old concert T-shirts to wear so I could be really cool.

Thankfully I can't put my finger on who I'm holding out to see next. Michael Jackson had a pretty big hold over me as a teenager, but now it's just sad, creepy and morally repugnant. I enjoyed the likes of Wham!, but am pretty sure that world touring might be a parole violation.

Ooh, actually I would go see Tears For Fears, but that's because I really loved their last album and because I need to Shout! Shout! Let it all out. (Get THAT out of your head!)

Paranoia

Memorial Day Weekend with friends was great but it kind of ended on an odd note. I resorted to name calling during a card game (and it was totally not done in anger, hate, or frustration) and I went too far. The name calling 'thing' is a terrible habit that I picked up from the family.

It isn't intended to be anything but funny. Clearly, I need to tone it down as I offended my friend Patti. She made it clear that she didn't appreciate it but finished the game where (thankfully I lost) but was quiet the rest of the evening.

She and J. left at 6am the next day so we didn't really get a chance to make amends. She did however leave their dog bowls behind. Rather than having S&K mail the dishes back I took them and dropped them at her house on my way home.

I haven't heard from either Patti or J. since the weekend and I thought for sure I at least would have received a small 'thanks' message as their house is about an hour out of my way. But there's been no communication.

I did fire off an e-mail mid-week regarding a dispute we had over the weekend as to the age of Lindsay Lohan and whether or not it was creepy that the guys think she's hot. She's 20, but it's still creepy. Poor poor rich girl.

So, I'm giving her some space, but I will not allow this friendship to just poof away over something stupid like bad sportsmanship on my part. The other thing to note is that she's out of town on business and probably hasn't given it a second thought. Once the negative thoughts stop swirling in my head I'll approach her as is nothing happened (for the record I apologized the moment the unfortunate word popped out of my mouth. In fact I think the sound of my apology overlapped the sound of the word. It was instant awareness.)

You all know that the last thing I need is to be dropped by another friend.

Push It

This Comcast commercial cracks me up.

Movie Review: The Break Up

These reviews are free so they can't all be timely. The Break Up staring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn is playing nightly on HBO and pay-per-view.

May I just say how delighted I am that I missed it at the theater. It wasn't funny and it's not really clear which character you're supposed to root for. Gary is a selfish snob, and Brooke is a wicked bi-Atch.

They pulled out all the stops and include a nice little part for Jon Favreau - who was so awesome in Swingers. He's the guy that brought us ELF - a wonderful pairing of Bob Newhart and Will Farrel. Even the witty and quick banter between Jon and Vince couldn't make this film enjoyable.

It's not as bad as Gigli or the Golden Bowl (the standard for all bad movies) but it was right up there with a Ben Aflec movie.

YUCK!

Wild Things in the Methow

Stupid thing to do before a road trip

Last night I tried to figure out why some of my newest music isn’t on my iPod and now I’m regretting it.

The reason and solution are technically very simple.  The iPod was originally formatted on a PC – meaning it was configured to synch with my crappy dell laptop.  Now that my life is on a Mac the iPod needed to be reformatted to “talk’ to the Mac. 

The reconfiguration took about 2 minutes but to complete the process the iPod needed to be plugged into the original charger for about 20 seconds.  Unfortunately for me, the charger is at work.  So I brought the iPod to the office, plugged it in a voila it is reconfigured.  There’s no music on it, but when I get back to my Mac (on MONDAY) I can load my tunes.

In hind site, the old music would have been preferable on my 4+ hour car ride tonight than NO music.  I could drive home after work, load music and THEN head over the mountains, but is it really worth the extra 90 minutes?  I have radio and 4 cassette tapes (I have a seriously old school radio in my car). The tapes are awesome:

Footloose Soundtrack
America’s Greatest Hits
Air Supply’s Greatest Hits
Jim Croche’s Greatest Hit 

Maybe I’ll hit a Fred Meyer or borders on the way out and see if anyone has any cassette tapes. 

Duck and Brother

Kev-o my older brother (or older bother as he's known in the inner circles) is a good guy. He works hard, loves his wife, is a good dad to her daughters, and tries to do the right things in life.

He joined the Marine's out of high school, and seemed to enjoy the brotherhood and the life. It wasn't always easy, but he was in for eight years. Those eight years included a tour in Iraq in 1990. Desert Storm V1.0. After he got home he got out and home life took over.

Eight years is a long time, and there's retirement monies there that are not lost to you if you join the Reserves or the National Guard, which is what he did. As a National Guardsman he spends a few hours a month, earns some extra cash and continues working towards a retirement check from the military. It's good deal.

9/11 happens and we (the family) are thankful that he's not in the Reserves as those folks are heading back to the Middle East. Kevin's unit got called up for a year to guard some super secret place in driving distance from his family in the Salt Lake City area (no they aren't Mormon - but everybody asks.) This ends up being a pretty good deal for them, he serves, he's home for most weekends, his job works out. Once it was over he went back to normal life.

After Katrina Kevin's unit went to Louisiana to help. He said it was sad and rewarding all at the same time. He felt a special connection to the people because "our people" are from there.

Life goes on, he's back to work, and yet this War in Iraq wages on. I care about the news reports and I feel for the families, but day after day is too much. Soon I'm focusing on Katie Holmes and her odd marriage, and funny things I see everyday. It's just easier to ignore it.

The news reports that the last of the stateside Reserve units are being called up. It barely blips in my head until I get the panicky phone call from Mom. Kevin's going back to Iraq. She doesn't say it, but our fears are in sync... what if we used up all of our luck the first time around?

People I've told ask what he does and when I say he's a driver, their response is to look away and say "oh." I try not to let the fact that the only fatalities the news talks about are related to IED's or roadside bombs scare the crap out of me. Of course they aren't going to comment on gun battles. Heck, it wasn't four years after he got home the first time that he shared that he wasn't just driving the mail around but that he was actually shooting at people. The news is skewed - so you can't let it scare you.

Mom listens to the latest out of Washington and the pressure that the President is getting to come up with an exit strategy and is filled with hope that he won't have to go. Sorry mom, these aren't people who care; they want to be re-elected. Totally different thing. Kevin himself seems resigned to the situation, "been there done that, what's there to be nervous about?" That's a nice state of mind.

What they want with a 42 year old asthmatic smoker is beyond me, but they're taking him. So, he's going. Yesterday he found out he's leaving June 12th. Mom and Dad will make the trip to SLC to visit and I will try to go. (the new boss, just had two weeks of vacation makes that a little more complicated than normal.) Mom gets all Momish when Kev's in peril which makes me think that she'll be better off without me there. However, I am a nice buffer for the unfortunate tense relations between Mom and Kev's wife. (There isn't enough time to go into that.) So, we'll see if I'm going.

That's the news...

That's not what I meant!

In a meeting today with the new big boss man my colleague’s laptop computer started to make a noise and wouldn’t close a program.  (Let’s call him Bob)

The girl colleague across the table asked innocently, “Are you hung?”

Uh… there’s almost no recovering from that, but she did a remarkable job while the rest of us giggled like little immature children. 

more vacation pix

A positive experience at Macy's

I've never been a huge fan of the Bon Marche' -- er Macy's. (Sorry, I'm old school Seattle.) You can seldom find someone to assist you and something usually goes wrong.

Case in point, I purchased an extra yard of my couch fabric to cover the areas where Peter the cat is likely to scratch. The fabric was ordered at the same time as the couch and so far Macy's has sent the wrong fabric twice. That said, there are just some things though, that must be purchased from Macy's - furniture is one category where they typically get my business.

I did buy some shoes before the trip and the very nice shoe guy offered me a 20% discount if I would put the shoes on my macy's account. I had intended on paying cash, but the discount was almost $28 so I agreed. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that he didn't apply the discount.

With no time and little desire to drive back to the store before vacation I tried to call the store - I don't recommend it. You'll end up in an irritating loop between voicemail and the switchboard system. I decided to try macys.com and ended up leaving a small message on their customer feedback board.

Lo and behold, upon my return from Sunny Mexico a message was waiting for me from the store manager. My account has been credited the $28! How very wonderful!

Now if I could only figure out how to get them to turn this floral upholstery into the kind I actually need I could die happy.

Poolside Fashion No-No

Warning... this one is not for the weak.

Senior Speedo Gonzales was with us for three days. He was a fan of sunscreen but not of rubbing it in to his skin so he spent a lot of time with the white cream on his face.

We also greatly "admired" his pretty gold necklace.

Guacamole Tour 2007

Perfect weather, an amazing hotel with a swim-up bar and a private beach made for a delightful vacation. We swam almost every day, played a lot of Boggle, ate really well and contributed to the local economy (shopped).

We invested in a guided tour of the Sierra Madres and while it was geared for tourists it wasn't totally disgusting and we loved it! Two big BMW jeep things drove us up into the mountains where we took a hike, spent time on a rural farm, ate hand-made fire cooked tortillas, explored a town of about 1200 people, and then finished off the afternoon on a private beach with Mexican BBQ and swimming in the ocean. All in all ... a great day!

Rico spent one morning on a "Canopy Tour" which is this crazy thing where they've tied cables above the trees strap you onto them and push you off rickety little platforms. As you zip across the jungle you try to put the fact that Mexico seems to have few personal safety laws out of your head. While he was off doing this, I was at the spa paying them to place hot rocks on my back and trying to stay awake. After my 90 minute session I was in a drunken stupor and had to spend the rest of the day in the pool. (Darn)

Some things about Mexico you can not gleen from the brochures and web sites, the first thing is that it is not a place for anyone with less than 100% walking capability. I think each business owner owns the sidewalk in front of their building and were allowed to put them in at what ever height they wanted. There can be a 6 to 18 inch differential in the sidewalk from building front to building front and block to block. Some are wide enough for two to walk side by side, others are so narrow that the street is the better option.

While the boardwalk area, beaches and hotels are an oasis of relaxation and beauty the city and the roads are less than idyllic. We took the bus a lot to avoid a $8 cab ride into town and it was an adventure. The buses don't appear to be on a maintenance schedule and the suspension systems were for the most part... shot to hell. However, the patrons were always quiet and kept to themselves unlike the buses here where it can get quite noisy.

We saw lots of wild life. Dolphins, Cows, Birds, Bugs, Chickens, Pelicans and the elderly cruise passengers.

Can't we just wax off our Bush?

I know... it's a terrible title, but I'm not changing it.

I heard on NPR today that Bush vetoed the Iraq exit bill and his comments were something along the lines of 'I'll not accept any bill that proposes an arbitrary deadline for failure in Iraq.'

I guess it's pretty apparent that he's not using Oprah's secret (thinking positive thoughts to get what you want out of life) regarding the outcome.

a deadline for failure... what a MORON!!

As for the waxing thing... the little salon down the road does Bush waxing for $35 - should we start a walk-a-thon to raise money?

A better frame of mind

My bags are packed, the cat box has been re-freshened (someday I will create a cat that doesn't poop - that will be my gift to the world!), dishes are done and I'm mostly ready to go!

I can't find my digital camera battery charger and I think I've looked everywhere. Obviously I haven't looked everywhere or I would have it. I remember the outlet I last used it in, but Ive had dinner guests since then so it could be ANYWHERE.

What you ask is the connection between the battery charger and dinner guests? The answer my friends is frantic last minute cleaning - and surface cleaning at that. You know, the last minute sweep through of anything out of place. It goes in a big pile to someplace the guests will never go. Yes, I've already checked the laundry area and the scary places in the "office". It will I'm sure magically appear the day I get back.

We leave tomorrow at 7:45 am - so I'm picking up Mr. Rico at 6:00 a.m. thank heavens there's a drive thru starbucks on the way to his house.

I don't expect to get blackberry service in Mexico - but I'm sure the hotel has a business center so you may be getting an update.

I did stop by Tropic Dreams for one last fake 'n bake. The gal suggested upping the minutes so I was adventurous and gave myself a 7 minute top off. Most of you have never done the tanning bed thing - Janie use to be totally tan-arexic until she had to have a little something burned off her skin, now she's a pasty white as God intended. Anywho - the build up to 7 minutes is actually funny because the leatherettes around me at the check-in counter are signing up for 16-20 minute sessions. Good Christ are they cooking a chicken in there? As it was, for me anyway, 7 minutes was enough to feel a little crispy. No matter - I'm done with the fake tanning (until my prince charming comes to whisk me away to Greece for a year - I may have to top off the exoskeleton when that happens.)

I guess that's it. maybe though I'll leave you with some (OLD) "poetry" to tide you over.

Here's an oldie from 1998:

6501 1/2
Ode to my upstairs neighbors
(also a primary driver for moving )

I put my book down and turn off the light
my lids close and I'm embraced by the night

This is the time for quiet to grow,
instead my ear drums begin to blow

I can hear every word, every intonation
every noise, every tiny reverberation

at 11 they lay in bed, laugh and talk
by midnight, I'm angry and want to balk

at 1 they're watching a dirty movie
by 2 they're quiet... in a little groovie

at 2:15, I'm frustraited, wide awake
upstairs the bed moves and the ceiling shakes

I hear a sigh, a coo and a yearning moan
She calls out a name and yells a groan

Above me the movement slows and I think they're done
but no they start again, having pleased just one

It sounds to me like digging for buried treasure,
she's pretty vocal about her ambassador of pleasure

at 4am I just want to roll over and die
and finally I hear it - the girls last sigh

I drift away into a dark bliss
the alarm sounds... fuck it's 6!

I make it to work and slump at my desk
plop my head down for a little rest

The phone rings, my head flies up disturbing the pool,
I have to wipe my face, remove the drool

What did I do to deserve this degradation?
How do I endure nightly sleep deprivation?

Tonight I'm ready, I have ear plugs
and have filled my body with hard core drugs

I snuggle in my bead, ready for a riot
but its peaceful upstairs, blissfully quiet

I can't hear nary a peep
I softly drift ... off...to...sleep

Certainly not Ogden Nash, but it is based on a true event.