Jingle Holly Jolly

The mood has lifted a bit, we are decorated and trimmed.  Shopping is complete and mom is in her car headed west in order to beat a pretty significant storm.

Susie has expressed many times that she is not looking forward to Christmas and we are supportive and expect the day to be bittersweet.  Lucy, as every kid should be, is excited and has had a lot of fun prepping, creating and wrapping her own gifts to the grandmas, Jason and me.  

We invited the Kozma's over for Christmas dinner which will enliven our party.  With mom coming today (Monday) and Christmas being on Sunday we have time to enjoy each other, sneak out to do some last minute shopping and be ready for the festival of gifts.

Lucy was freed from the burdens of Middle School last Friday and after a full weekend of activities is bored.  She and grandma G can play tomorrow.  

Work is slow, I had an important meeting this morning which took all week last week to prep and it was done at 10 am.  A few other things are happening that I queued up, but don't require any effort from me, so I'm blogging (as you can read) and I finally took care of some stuff from my office floor.  I was able to offload 17 skeins of yarn that I purchased for a blanket that I did not want to finish (as it's been well over a year since I did the last row) and strangely enough, my whole room feels brighter with that stuff gone.  The lady that picked it up said it was for a couple of teen girls who were recently removed from their parents home and needed/wanted an easy craft idea to keep them busy.  This alleviates my guilt over the expense of the yarn.  Even though we are financially solid, I still feel badly about spending money for nothing.

I also finally ditched a few boxes of "stuff" from last Christmas that had been in a bag in my office for the year.  It's funny how you can look past stuff that is clearly clutter.  Our trash/recycle this week will be significant.   Thankfully, recycling is free and the extra won't count against us, but we might take a hit on the trash.  

A new season

 The weather finally turned.  The rains came and cleared all the smoke that had settled in and eliminated our ability to enjoy fall evenings on the deck.

It rained and rained and then rained some more, the plants are happy and the trees took a while to pop into their fall glory, but as I look out my office window I see the reds, greens, yellows and oranges of fall.  It dropped to 34 last night, so I expect the trees that are holding onto to their green leaves will give up the ghost soon.

Last week marked one month since we lost Jason's dad, and six years since my dad passed.  Soon those milestones won't be intertwined, but in this moment they are.  The shock of John's passing hasn't lifted much.  There is less to do regarding the passing and the work has shifted to ensuring that Susie is comfortable, the finances are organized and that she's doing well emotionally.

Christmas is looming like an unwanted visit from someone that you like but aren't in the mood to see.  I'm looking forward to all the trimmings and making the house festive with sounds and smells.  But, just as when my dad died, putting up the stockings will be hard.  Now there are two that are missing and while one is fresher than the other, the impact is the same.  

After Halloween this year, I organized the storage boxes and cleaned out a bunch of stuff that we no longer use, and I hope to have the energy to do it with the Christmas items as well.   I know there are a lot of things in those tubs that we simply do not use or have never used.   Maybe if I can organize it better, then I can have a special place for the grandpa stockings.  

We had a fun Halloween, the weather cleared up for the night and we set out a table on the driveway and took our party outside.  Lucy and Sophie had a grand time collecting candy from the neighbors.  Jason & Zack enjoyed their walkabout.  They pretend to escort the gals, but in reality, they are having a nice chat, a walking adult beverage and chatting with the other neighbors who have patio parties as well.  The gals are no longer in need of a parent during Halloween, but if they'll let the dads go - the dads will go.

Halloween was Monday, and Tuesday morning I drove over to Yakima to be with mom as she headed to a scary doctor's appointment.  Well, it was "just" an MRI, but I was happy to be able to take her.  I was also able to stand in for Jason and reconnect all of mom's electronic devices to her new Wi-Fi, and clean up her password manager.  

Healthwise, she has a couple things going on, one of which sounds like cancer, but our Internet Dr. degree is not on the same level as the actual doctor, who informed her yesterday that our research was very wrong.  So, good!  The other issue will be significant but isn't life threatening.  Dealing with it will be a short-term pain in the ass (or intestines) and should result in her feeling better in the long run. When that procedure is scheduled, I'll pop back over and hang out as long as she and I can stand it.  

This week in the life of the family three is a doozy.  Today and yesterday, Jason had to go into the office, which now is unusual and puts a kink in our daily activities.  I'm thankful for the time alone in the house but miss his noises.  Today, when the power blinked off for a minute, I had to reset all the clocks on my own.  I mean...whine.

I'm getting my hair done this afternoon, so Lucy will come home to an empty house - which brings up mom guilt.  But the kid is almost 12 and as long as they know someone is on the way, they are fine with being alone.

Tomorrow, is Lucy's first middle school band concert.  It could be great, or it could be excruciating.  To be honest, even though the 6th grade band has only been playing since September I have a lot of faith in their progress.  Lucy was practicing last night - like they do every day and it sounded wonderful.  

Thursday night is my book group and I have finished the main book, but the book of short stories is probably not going to happen between now and then.

Friday we'll work a half day and then head to Monroe to participate in the rehearsal dinner for Cousin Rachel - who is getting married on Saturday.  We have been looking forward to this for ages.  I really love a wedding and this one has all the promises of a wonderful event. 

I'm sure it will be bittersweet for Susie as she and John made it a priority to attend the weddings of everyone in the family.  Not having John with us physically will be sad, but I know in my heart that he will be in that room.  He won't miss it. 

We get a bit of a break, and then it's Thanksgiving.  We'll be in Monroe again for dinner and the next day we have an appointment for John's internment at the cemetery on Friday.  I'm hopeful for decent weather and a small gathering of folks.  I'll research before then if it's allowed or appropriate to have anything prepared to say.    The official catholic service only allowed for 1 speaker and those remarks had to be less than 10 minutes.  Not very personal in my opinion.  Don't get me wrong, it was a lovely service, but not personal.

 After the internment we will turn the Christmas season up to 11.

A funeral, a party, calamity, and a breather

 

flowers for the urn

It took a bit to work out when to have the service for John, but the day finally came and a modest amount of family and new friends gathered for a service at St. Anthony's in Renton.  Then, virtually everyone came back to our house for a gathering.

Thankfully, the air cleared up a bit and we were able to use the deck as well as the main floor for the event.  We served a casual lunch and thankfully didn't have too much left over. 

It was lovely having a house full of people, visiting with the extended family was very nice and I thought Susie did great.  

Everyone stayed a few hours, and we had our house back around 3, a quick clean up and Jason and I melted into the couch around 4:30.  Sweet Lucy seemed eager to spend time with us and was very chatty until it was bed time. Jason might have been in the mood for some quiet time, but we know that this kid won't always want to hang out, so we listened to stories, watched them practice their clarinet, and helped with homework.  

All in all, it really worked out well and felt like a fitting goodbye to John.  It was dignified, and still fun. The inurnment for the urn hasn't been scheduled, so he's still with us.  

The family sent an incredible flower arrangement for the church, so he's hanging out in our main room.  

CALAMITY

Jas & I took Wednesday off to prepare for the service and after party.  The required trip to Costco was on the agenda, as well as prepping the house for the well-timed housekeepers.  He and I went to breakfast while the housekeepers were in the house, then came back to move the tables around, set up the deck and clear space for the incoming sandwiches and party food for the next day.

I was at the sink washing my hands or something and the entire nozzle of the sprayer broke off in my hand which caused a HUGE mess. Water was everywhere, the cupboards, my face, shirt, and the floor.  Ok, add a faucet to the Costco list.  Thankfully, replacing the faucet didn't take too long but it certainly wasn't on the list of things Jason wanted to do before the funeral for his dad.

  

because we needed a project

During the post funeral party there was some chaos going on.   It seems that when you have a house full of people, everything else happens at the same time.  Thursday is trash pickup day, but we were thankful that it was just compost and that was taken care of before we left for the service, but during the party not only did the lawn guys come but the monthly visit from the pest control guy as well.  

Additionally, we learned a very unfortunate lesson.   Small, diapered kids with lots of energy will slide down the stairs on their bum regardless of the state of a diaper.   A "full" diaper cannot withstand the bum slide and pooh will squish up and out the top of said diaper and leave a trail of residue or "resipooh."   Cousin Anton showed his deep family connection and not only jumped into action to clean the stairs, but did so in a way that made the Stanley Steamer people look like hacks.   Our stairs haven't been this clean in quite a while. 

something fun

Lastly, here's Lucy's Halloween costume.  Isn't it fantastic?  

The whole story

 After the post about writing the obituary, I suppose it's only right to tell how we got here.

A few posts back I talked about John's cancer and the immunotherapy and how we were hopeful.  That was September 30th - a Friday.

That was a rough day at the hospital, John was cranky for obvious reasons and who do you take things out on when you're miserable?  Your favorite person in the world, so it was a rough day for Susie as well.   

We made arrangements for Lucy to spend the day with friends, so that I could go with Jason to the hospital Saturday, and that Susie could take a day off.  She was able to decompress a bit, have lunch with comfort people and reset her system.

The CCU wouldn't let me into see John, but I was nearby and Jason could come out into the waiting area to talk and take a break.   One of the nurses said that the plan was to move John back to the regular hospital floor that day.  While that would have been nice because I could have then gone in to be with him and Jason, it wasn't realistic either.    John was sitting in the chair, which is therapeutic in that it helps strengthen your core muscles after being in a bed for two weeks.  However, he was really groggy, aggravated and disoriented.  He hadn't been sleeping and the meds given to help in that area sent him all over the map.    I'm reminded of the time we gave Lucy Benadryl and instead of knocking her out like it does to regular humans it wound her up and not only was sleep impossible, but she was practically hyper.  I think the sleep meds were doing that to John.

Jason had a consult with the doctor, who agreed that John shouldn't be moved just yet.  I don't think John was alert enough to have any meaningful conversations with Jason.

Sunday was a better day, but not great either.  He was sleepy all day and the nursing staff had him propped up to avoid bed sores.  Jason and Susie were home in time for a regular dinner.  

Monday morning as Lucy was headed out the door to school Jason saw he had a voicemail from the hospital.  At 3:45 am or so, John's breathing became too shallow, and the hospital intubated him.   

Originally, John entered the hospital with a DNR, but when they started the last round of therapy to try to reverse the effects of the Mycenae gravis the doctor said it might make him weaker before it made him better and because his heart rate had been so low previously that they might need a temporary pacemaker or to intubate.   John agreed to modify the DNR to allow the infusion to work.  

Jason and I had a cry, and then a talk about what John would want.  We discussed the questions to ask the doctor - like, how long before we can know if the infusion was working and he could be taken off the vent, or when would a breathing test be done. We assumed three days.  We know he wouldn't want to be on life support for long if it was just for the purpose of sticking around but in that state.

We also researched the recovery from Mycenae gravis and at this point it was clear that if John recovered enough to leave the hospital that he would have 12-18 months of therapy to be able to hopefully walk with a walker but would need help getting out of bed and to the toilet for months and months - if not forever.

Susie arrived at our house quickly and the three of us had a tearful talk before they headed to the hospital.  When they left I truly believed we would be having the next conversation in three days, after a breathing test.

I sent the daily message to the family, and then had a couple of tearful phone calls with the cousins.  

Jas and Susie had a heart-to-heart talk after talking with the doctor in the morning and they decided to remove the tube.  Jason called and told me to come down, he wanted me there and now we had permission to have as many people in the room as we wanted.  This is the sign that even the hospital staff knew it was time to let go.

I arrived at the hospital at 4pm and was there to meet the oncologist and listen to her apology (basically).  She talked through how unusual John's case was, and how at every step nothing worked as expected.  None of this was her fault obviously, but as she talked I half expected her to suggest another route to help John recover.   The CCU doctor returned as well, and we asked what the next steps would be.    The two doctors needed to write orders for meds to make John comfortable and then they would remove the intubation equipment when we were ready.  

By this time Marty & Lynne had arrived and we all had a moment to say what we needed to say.  

We stepped out of the room while they removed the equipment and came back in and sat with John - talking to him, laying hands on him and I'm sure I wasn't the only one saying prayers for him.   The nurse came in to check on us and noticed that John was struggling to breathe, so he ever so kindly put his hand on John's shoulder and told him that he was going to give him something to help him relax.

Well, after the nurse did that and left, John's breathing wasn't as labored and then just gently stopped.  There was no death rattle, or dramatic music or anything, he was just not there anymore, and after a few minutes I asked Jason if I should go get the doctor.  Susie asked why, and Marty told her that John was gone.  She seemed confused, and said "when?", Marty said "it just happened".  

The nurse came back to check John and again, put his hand on John's shoulder and said - just to him, "I'm going to listen to your heart now."  Later, when he removed John's wedding ring he spoke to John to let him know what he was doing.   Maybe it was a show for us, but I really don't think so.  

We then worked out the details of what to do next, said goodbye one more time and headed home.  We were back at the house by 6:30pm.  

Jason was the one who told Lucy and we all had a big cry.  

The rest of last week was one "must do" activity after another.  We don't have a funeral date yet because we are waiting on the Priest's availability.  There are more things to do this week, but we're back in the office - sort of I'm here, but blogging.

So, that the story.  I'm sure I missed some things, and I know I left out the details of what was said to John in his final moments.   Those things were for him.

Jason and Susie are doing ok but I think we're all in a bit of shock.   The timeline between the 16th of September and now is just mind boggling.  I overheard a snippet of a phone conversation at the grocery store yesterday and it went like this "well, you know it takes three days for your mind to even process that someone has died."  Sounds about right to me. 

The sum of a man

I wrote an obituary today.  It was all business, but I injected a couple of paragraphs from my heart.  I expected my lovely mother-in-law to reject them, but they invoked emotion and she liked it.  

It is very hard for a pedestrian writer to evoke emotion and express the true depth of what someone means to you.

My father-in-law was known and loved by multitudes of people that experienced his spirit, loyalty and experience before I met him.  My time with him was limited to the last fifteen years of his life.   

I have enjoyed his stories, the stories of my Jason as a boy, John’s bride and the stories of the many nieces and nephews and their children.  He was of all things a historian, passing information from previous generations down through entertaining tales.  

The obituary covers the milestones of his life, school, finding is forever life partner, his son, the beloved neighbors in his chosen neighborhood and links to the lives he touched.  It doesn’t dig into the small moments that have meant so much to those of us along the way.

He was a faithful member of his church and honored the teachings.  He valued the lessons of family and tradition.  They guided his decisions.   However, when the church suggested the person a nephew had chosen as his wife wasn’t going to result in a “true” marriage because she wasn’t a member of the same church, my father-in-law and mother-in-law made every effort to attend the wedding and celebrate the now 45+ year union.  That simple act, one that the groom’s own parents didn’t do, still moves the groom and his bride to tears.

Many years later when I arrived on the scene, I was (am) a liberal, mildly Lutheran gal who fell deeply in love with his son.  John comforted me when my feelings were hurt that one of his beloved family members took a stand to avoid attending our wedding.  He told me that their focus on church was their problem, and that I was welcome in his family.   I know he cared deeply about the traditions of his church, but he could see that I was his son’s family and our partnership in life was more important than traditions.  

These are two small examples of the man I knew.  He wasn’t perfect, after a few ‘nips’ of scotch the stories tended to ramble in circles, but he was determined to see the good in anyone he was related to.  I never once heard him utter anything negative about anyone - except politicians. But, we’ve all been there. 

In an obituary of someone who lived 83 years, the moments that imbedded him into my heart can’t be the focus, but I will remember and love him with the same honor as my own dad.   As I support his bride and son through this journey of learning to live in a world where they can’t just call dad, I will follow behind with a similar broken heart.

Week In Review April 8, 2008

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Fast Forward

Here we are at the end of September, and summer is over.

Beach camp was a huge success, bunking with the older cabin was the perfect set up and all worries were for nothing.  Lucy is excited to go back next year.  The crew were plotting how to ensure they could all be together next year, but that won't happen. Luckily, some of the cabinmates will still be eligible for that age group and ideally they can coordinate their weeks. 

Our trip to Las Vegas was fun, lots of sun, lots of pool time and lots and lots of walking.   I suppose it was even worth the second bout of covid that Jason & I experienced upon return home.   Lucy avoided us and didn't get sick this round.    

We did have to cancel our trip to the lake (again) which was disappointing, but we used that time to get things done around the house, so it wasn't a total loss.

The real thing we are dealing with is that Jason's dad hadn't been feeling well and ended up getting a CT amongst the other tests and they found melanomas on his lung and something on the lower intestine that they can't remove without doing major surgery.  So technically, this is stage 4 cancer, but if it doesn't move to the brain there are options.  They removed the item in the lung and discussed options about the path forward.

At 83, John doesn't want to do anything that is going to make him feel sick all the time.  I believe he has seen too many friends and family that have done chemotherapy and felt worse than they did before, but for the rest of their time.  It's a fair and reasonable desire to want to simply enjoy life.

His oncologist wanted to try immunotherapy, which is supposed to strip the cancer of the shell, if you will, that makes the body think that it's supposed to be there.  The theory is, that once the body recognizes the cancer as a threat it will start to try to heal itself, like it does when you're sick with the flu.   This therapy was supposed to have fewer side effects than a traditional chemotherapy, but that's not what happened.

The immunotherapy threw is body into a medical freefall with everything hurting, zero energy, no desire to eat, his heart rate was wacky and the oncologist told him to get himself to the ER. They drew blood for a myriad of tests, did another CT and finally sent him home.  That was a Friday, and on Monday the Oncologist called once she had the blood results and told him to come to the hospital (in downtown Seattle) to check himself in.   That was 10 days ago.  

There are better days and bad days, but so far, never two good days in a row. They've tried a couple things to get his systems back on track, but in discouraging news they stopped the latest and last best plan that the oncologist and the neurologist had proposed.  

John has moved from one room to another in the hospital, first it was the cardiac floor, then the regular hospital, then the neuro wing, and now he's currently in the critical care unit.  We don't know if this is different than the ICU, but we do know that the care he's getting is top notch.  He certainly likes the nurses in the CCU better than the "regular" hospital floor. 

Jason and I are taking turns taking Susie to the hospital every day, and on Jason's days he goes and stays and tries to work while waiting for the doctor's rounds. On the days that I take her, Jason goes later in the afternoon to visit and then pick her up.  They are both going to be experts in getting around the hospital.  

We are all weary and worried and hopeful. We are also extremely thankful that John & Susie live here now, as we would still be supporting them on this journey if they were in Denver, but we wouldn't be able to do it as a team.   Jason would be basically living in Denver while I would be here with Lucy. As it stands, we can split up the things that need to be done based on our schedules, and still have dinner as a team. Sometimes Susie stays, sometimes she heads back to Merrill Gardens and dines with their friends. It's good that she has that outlet.

We knew that we wanted them here to help in the event that someone got sick, but we were honestly thinking it would be Susie and her memory issues - and in years of their arrival.  

The family is standing by ready to help, but John wants no visitors and there isn't really much they can do at this point. Sometimes, the daily text about John's status is almost too much for Jason, but he finally put me on the text thread so that I could help with that. 

The crazy thing is that the recovery from the immunotherapy has been so all encompassing that we aren't even talking about the cancer anymore.  I have my doubts that John will be interested in trying something new after all this craziness is over.   So, for now it is one day at a time. 

We are researching skilled nursing/rehab places for John for when he's released. He's going to have to work back up to walking and to get his strength back before he can return to their apartment.  Hopefully, we can get him into one that has good food.  He hates the hospital food worse than he hates the food at Merrill Gardens - and that is really saying something.  

Whew

 The camp people finally responded to my messages.  Lucy is set to go!

We have pulled out the things to take, are gathering extras and we will drop her off Sunday afternoon.

I'm a bit jealous of all the water play in her future, but not so much the sleeping on the two inch inflatable pad (ick).

The camp team clearly needs some administrative help. I'd love to be able to take a couple weeks off to get them all up to snuff, but that would be a hard sell to either burn up vacation for someone else's business or somehow get my employer to cover it as paid leave. 

I did read a couple online reviews about the camp that were unnerving.  One, a child hurt their leg and the camp waited 24 hours to call a parent to take them to get a medical assessment and it turns out the leg was broken.  yikes.   The second was in relation to the trouble with getting ahold of anyone at the camp,

Our trusted neighbor said her son LOVED it there and we are confident Lucy will have a great time.  However, we are going to break one of the camp rules and smuggle in her cell phone.   She is to leave it off unless she needs to call us, and we told her not to even tell her cabin mates that she has a phone.  (unless it's an emergency.)  If it hadn't taken us weeks to talk to a human, I probably wouldn't be ok with this plan, but Lucy is trustworthy.  

Now that we know Lucy is going - we have a full kid-free week to plan.  What will Jason and I be doing?  Working, going out to the places Lucy doesn't like to go and...working.  Woo Woo

Plans and Worries

I'm a planner.  I want to have a vacation or something fun on the books before the current vacation kicks off. I don't need to have the future fun mapped out, but I do want to know that there is something to look forward to as we are jetting home, or I'm wrapping up all the vacation laundry.  

One of my favorite Amazon purchases last year was a three-year monthly planner.  I have vacations, birthdays, school holidays mapped out from 2022 to 2024.  I'd buy a 2025-2027 planner if they had one available.

One of the first things I put in the current planner was the date to register Lucy for summer camp.  Camps fill up, and to get the week you want you need to be on the ball.  So, on March first, I logged on to the selected camp, paid the deposit and signed that kid up.
This camp is highly recommended for the kid that likes water activities.  It's on the Puget Sound in Edmonds and one of the first things that happens is they issue the kid a wet suit for the week.  Then it's a week of kayaking, swimming, water bikes and paddle boarding.   It sounds wonderful.

Having never dealt with this camp before I didn't know what to expect, so that when a confirmation email wasn't sent after registration I didn't worry.  I knew that they would eventually communicate with us.  From the info on the site it sounds like the folks that run this camp are attorneys who possibly take six weeks in the summer off to run this camp and then jump back to real life.   I wasn't worried about the delays in responses to emails.  The camp didn't "open" until May 1st.  

But, now here it is, six days before drop off and I still haven't heard anything.  
I left messages, emailed earlier in the summer and did get a verbal confirmation that they have Lucy in their system but the lack of a pre-camp email that gives a family time to gather and pack all the necessary stuff is odd.

This is giving me anxiety and worry that we will show up and Lucy won't have a spot.  As a parent, I try not to manage away all the twists and turns that life can throw at a kid.  Dealing with change is how you grow into a capable adult, but having another summer camp yanked away would be really hard.  This isn't a participation trophy - this is a week of independent living with other kids.  

Last night, I texted the number on an email that I received in the winter when I first asked about the camp and woke up to an actual response.   (WHEW!)  We exchanged a bunch of information and she (Kristen) agreed it was strange that I haven't gotten any emails or information since we registered.  

So, now I'm anxiously awaiting her return call with details.   I'm still very worried that our registration didn't stick, and that Lucy won't be headed to camp on Sunday.  However, in a fit of optimism I ordered the required sleeping pad, which will be here Thursday. 
 

Guns and Kids

It's America, so it's happened again.   Yesterday, a person with either a mental disturbance or misguided racial motivations murdered innocent people doing normal things.  Last week it was people shopping for groceries and yesterday it was a teacher and 18 elementary kids during the school day.

I am not heartbroken, I am not devastated, and I am not shocked.  I am ANGRY.  

America pretends to be the "land of the free" when we are asking our children to put on a brave face and go to school knowing that they may have to put into action the active shooter skills they practice starting in kindergarten.  

America pretends to be the "land of the free" when some states are passing laws so that a twelve-year-old, whose mind and body is not ready to be a parent cannot end that pregnancy.

America holds on to the Second Amendment of the Constitution as if making any adjustments for modern weaponry or simple background checks will burn the entire country to the ground.  

"It is our right to form a militia to protect ourselves against the government."  Really, a government that is so filled with inaction, blood money, and infighting that the very idea of working together to resolve a baby formula shortage is TOO MUCH.  

It is too much, too much to process, too much to hold in my heart, too much.

It's spring, the bees are hard at work in the flowers outside my window, that should bring hope, but it doesn't.  I put our child on the school bus this morning with tears in my eyes.  I hope she makes it home from school.

Our Corona Virus Experience

Having successfully navigated the pandemic without contracting the Corona virus for over two years we may have given thoughts to being the rare exception and possibly even carriers of an antibody that when discovered could be harvested and save mankind. 

Key words:  may, possibly, could

We arrived home from our cruise at about 1am on Friday, May 6th.  Jason admitted as we drifted off to sleep that he wasn't feeling great and would take a covid test in the morning.  We agreed that we would all take a test.  

After a reasonable sleep, we woke up and tested.  He was positive and Lucy & I were negative.  

Jason made a video appointment with our doctor's office for later that morning and I made an extensive post vacation shopping list and masked up to gather provisions.   The thinking was that we would be stuck at home and maybe wouldn't have a lot of energy to make gourmet meals.  Oh, and of course vacation laundry.

He was given a prescription for an anti-viral cocktail and I was able to pick them up at the local RiteAid on my travels. The doctor suggested that he isolate from us and the fun game of masking in our own home began.   Paxlovid is a five-day regimen of 3 pills in the morning and 3 at night.  

With the groceries gathered (lots of extra great things for hydration, soups, ramen, a couple different pre-planned dinners) and about 8 loads of laundry I was DONE.  The time zone change was catching up with me and I was very tired.

So, off to bed with me.  Jason was in the basement for a night (or 4) in the guest room. First thing the next morning - a test.  That's my results up top.  You can see it's not a faint line, no squinting needed.  The day before 100% negative.   Lucy's test also had a positive result, but the line on that test was very light.  After two plus years of worst case scenario news stories, Lucy looked at me with genuine fear in her eyes and asked quietly, "am I going to die?"  Hugs were distributed, and I did my best to reassure her that the vaccine would help her from getting really sick and that we would all be ok.  

Our doctor's office is closed on Saturday, so I used the handy Doctor on-demand application that came with our insurance and had a quick chat with a medical person somewhere in the online world. I too was given the anti-viral prescription, but not Lucy.   This doctor also recommended that we three isolate from one another within the house.  So, we continued that path.

The energy I had Friday was gone. Saturday and Sunday I was one with the couch.  There were movies but mostly I was lightly napping all day, then pulling together a dinner type meal which we three ate away from each other.  Then, at bedtime - sleeping thru the night was not an issue.  

Symptoms included a terrible headache, low energy, some body aches and for a couple of days congestion (no cough, but we went thru multiple boxes of tissues.).  The Paxlovid had a terrible side effect of the worst taste in my mouth that I've ever experienced, and it went on for days.  Jason said it was like a moose set up camp and then died in his mouth.  We busted out the altoids. We knew it was the Paxlovid because Lucy had all the other symptoms but not the awful mouth. 

We did manage to come up with a pretty decent dinner for Mother's Day and we ate together that night.  Lucy managed to sneak home a 1000 piece puzzle from the cruise as a gift.   The following day was Monday, and both Jason and I worked a full day.  Thank goodness for online/remote work.  

Lucy was uninvited to attend school until Friday the 13th, but on Thursday evening when we took our 5 day follow up tests, Jason and I tested negative, but Lucy was still positive. That meant she was out of school for another five days.  She was not happy about the delayed return, especially since she was feeling just fine.

Mrs. W sent home worksheets and emailed us links to the lessons she was missing.   Yeah, so we managed to miss almost the entire school curriculum for sex ed.  But fun for Lucy we did those lessons together.  Anatomy, relationships, pregnancy, exploitation... all of it.  With charts, visuals, and worksheets.  It was fine, some of it was really awesome to walk thru at home - specifically the exploitation topic.  Since that happens to kids and it's almost never a stranger, we were able to explain that no matter what, her safety and happiness is more important than someone we know that is making her uncomfortable or hurting her. 

 There was a test today on the topics and I'll be interested to see how "we" did.   

Vacay Photos

Iron Men

Getting ready for the sail away party.  (Pool is covered.)

The famous Mickey Waffle

Our kidds eating by themselves - no adults.

Brave Sophie jumping into the water

The ship

Towel animal thingy

Our Bahamian Cabana

Grand Cayman

Movie night in the pool

 

Post Cruise Review

Written for a cruise blog page:



Disney Wonder 4/30-5/5 2022


After a too long covid delay we boarded the Disney Magic in Miami for a 5-night cruise.

ABOUT US: we are a family of three, mom, dad and kiddo (11) traveling with our good friends and neighbors, family of three: mom, dad, and kiddo (10). We all live in Renton, WA, a suburb of Seattle and either work full-time or go to school full time.

PICKING THIS CRUISE: We decided in early 2019 that we liked these neighbors enough to vacation together on a 7-night Mexican riviera cruise that would overlap the spring break of the then 2nd and 3rd grade kids. We still had princesses, unicorns, and magic. As our April 3rd departure inched closer the news, as you know, became bleak. We spent hours on hold with our TA, and airlines to move things around.

Being a west coast raised kid, I have been to all of the ports on the originally planned itinerary. I highly recommend that cruise for those who want to explore the west coast. However, when we opted to move our vacation up a year we decided that a stop at Castaway Cay and Grand Cayman was with the trade of a 7 night cruise for a 5 night itinerary.

This change moved us out of an inside cabin to a family verandah. I really applaud those who take advantage of the value of the inside cabins, but I am not that person. I need a window that opens - it’s my own phobia, but after seeing those folks on ships in 2020 that weren’t allowed to dock…I stand by it.

As Christmas 2020 rolled around, the 2021 May cruise seemed questionable, so with sadness mixed with excellent timing we moved our reservation out one year. We hit a pretty sweet spot with pricing and the up charge we paid for the family verandah was enough to secure a concierge room on the 2022 Magic.

Travel from Seattle to Miami: now that our friendship has had lots of time to marinate, myself and the other mom left Seattle Wednesday for a couple days of kid/spouse free days. We enjoyed the pool, went to an Elton John concert and…missed our families. The benefit of coming early is acclimating to the time zone, and of course zero stress about baggage arriving. (The DH and I spent 2 of our 11 days in Paris with only our airplane clothes and the emergency outfit I packed into our carryon while our luggage flew Tahiti air on a different vacation.)

Our families arrived the night before the cruise and survived the awful night sleep to start our day. Our companions did not book a concierge suite but had a reasonably early port arrival time. We arrived together and it wasn’t until after the port covid testing, and muster business that we were separated for lunch. It was easy to connect all day, so the disparity in our room “classes” (on day one, has not been an issue.)

PORT EXPERIENCE: First of all, we apparently brought the rain from Seattle. WHOA. Other than not being able to manage non-fuzzy hair it wasn’t really an issue. As we like to joke “it’s a warm rain.”

When checking in, Disney gives you a port arrival time (PAT) and our companions obtained an 11:45 PAT, as concierge guests we were invited to arrive at our leisure before 4:00. We arrived together, and stayed together for most of the boarding processes.

After the passport and reservation check we were given a pretty gold sticker to wear so that the crew would know we were concierge guests.

The at-port covid testing was pretty easy. They handed us each a bag that we labeled with our names, reservation number and dates of birth. Having the reservation number handy was not something I was prepared for, as we had the QR codes for boarding and the pre-boarding health/vaccine status code. So a quick dig into the bag for the paper copies our information.

We swabbed our own noses under the supervision of a “testing specialist” and then were told to head to the waiting area. The ship was finally in sight but this hurdle was the last one. Test results were displayed by reservation number on TVs throughout the waiting area. During our 10-20 minute waiting period we did not see anyone with a test result of “see the XZY assistance desk”. We did see one adult and child team leaving the boarding area and the didn’t seem happy, but we can only speculate and hope they were just too early to board.

Once both of our parties cleared the rapid covid test we were moved through another door and our friends had to wait to board and we were ushered up the ramp.

ON BOARD
As you enter the ship for the first time the brave announcer asks for your family name and does what most people will not, announce your arrival. Welcome the Latendresse family! Seriously, most people don’t try it and we’re just not mad about it.

We were then ushered to Luminiers for our lunch which might possibly have been the same menu as the other locations, but we were also offered beer and wine. The head waiter came to say hello, and the concierge staff came by to answer questions, confirm events and to tell us how things worked.

We were told our room was ready and to head up. Our keys were in a fancy envelope tucked behind the fish outside our door. I work in a profession where we are looking for people trying to do bad things and limit the opportunities for them to do so, so the idea of just putting everyone’s door keys outside their door seems pretty dumb, but the concierge manager said that no one ever takes other people’s keys and even if they did it would be discovered very quickly. So, relax self, you’re on vacation.

We dropped our carryon items and went to the lounge to wait for our friends.

The Concierge Lounge
Behind a pretty unassuming door on deck 10 is the Concierge Lounge. There you will find a staffed desk where they will solve all your worldly (or cruisely) problems. They tell you to skip the guest services line altogether and take everything to them. They really mean it; DH mentioned a minor issue in our cabin to guest services as there was no line and GS, called the CL to have them coordinate with maintenance. We got a polite reminder to take everything to them. It made me wonder if the Guest Services folks rumble with the Concierge team in the off hours ala Sharks & Jet’s.

The lounge also had rotating treats, a beverage center, the much loved coffee machine and that first day, a staffed adult beverage giver (I think most people call them bartender’s). For about an hour we thought we were back on NCL with easy access to vacation beverages at our whim. After day one, they revert to their normal lounge services where happy hour is held from 5pm to 10pm.

They also had a very nice covered place to enjoy the heat, and our kid loved the Evian Mineral water mister bottles.

PROTIP: the bags of popcorn can be requested at anytime and were fun to munch on while we watched movies on the pool screen.

CONCIERGE THINGS

I’ve already covered the lounge, so here are some random thoughts about upgrading to this level.

We felt pampered, but not bothered. There were no calls to the room to “see how we were” or random drop ins. It was easy to take advantage of the services we wanted without ignoring our traveling companions.

There was a welcome treat in our room on day one, and a couple of parting gifts near the end of the cruise. I don’t really want to mention the details of the one for our kid because the surprise was really appreciated and I don’t know to what levels they go for families that have multiple kids. The other was an “authentic” print of the ship - suitable for framing if that’s your thing.

We seemed to have the same shampoo/conditioner/lotion as our friends, but we also had a more upgraded line that I’m sure they would have refreshed if we weren’t using the regular ones or our own special shampoos.

In all my months of planning and reviewing the boards I must have missed the information about the bar cart. Every day between 5 and 6 the nicest man would knock on our door and mix up a refreshing pre-dinner delight. What a fun surprise. And big thumbs down to the lady a few staterooms down who came out to berate them the one night they were running late.

FOOD
We enjoyed the MDRs - the rotational dining does make it feel like you’re going to specialty restaurants. On NCL we tended to go to the extra fee restaurants vs the MDR and I wondered if we would miss it. I did not. Disney does the food thing very well and there were things each night that we each liked.

We ate at Palo and that actually felt fancy, and of course the service was delightful. It was very on par with our favorite Seattle steakhouse experiences.

My scallop was gritty and undercooked and I wasn’t going to complain but the server could see I wasn’t eating it and it was no trouble to send it back but I did have to fight a bit to get them to just send out one more with the risotto. He really wanted to send me a whole new plate of food, but even though it’s a cruise I couldn’t request it knowing I was only going to eat the risotto and one scallop.

Having grown up on the coast and being a big fan of scallops I know they are tricky boogers to clean and cook. It’s a very fine line between undercooked and overcooked and I am not disparaging the chef in anyway, things happen.

At the pool, we grabbed pizza, burgers, hot dogs and chicken strips - all a solid B+. Nothing gourmet but perfect for a hot day at the pool.

The kids said the ice cream was great and enjoyed the normal limits on treats being lifted.

The shawarma was a nice thing to see and looked pretty good. It’s pretty standard in Seattle and in Bay Area of CA, but I didn’t expect it on the cruise. NCL could take a note on that front.

EXPERIENCES
We did a Mojito and Caipirinha tasting - it was fun and informative, but I didn’t appreciate the advertisement pitch from the Diamond lady at the beginning. I don’t attend the “free charm” or vacation club free night seminars because I don’t want/need the hard sell.

I overheard a couple on a bus transfer talking about the Mixology class and their review was not glowing. They said that some of the cocktail combinations were very strange and undrinkable.

I had my toenails repaired in the spa after the first beach excursion and it was very relaxing, but the same principle as the Diamond lady, the spa folks are required (I think) to try to upsell services and it does retract from the experience.


Our companions purchased the rainforest spa package and would disappear into the spa for steamy, sweaty relaxation. Access appeared to be open to all (with a pass) and while not crowded it was not a private experience either.

Pirate Night: I thought this was going to be cheesy but it was very well done. The crew in their special outfits were cute and the show was exciting. We didn’t go to the pool deck to dance and mingle with the other passengers but watched from the top deck - which gave us a perfect view of the fireworks. Thumbs Up!

Pools: Here’s where Disney beats the pants off of NCL. Having multiple water experiences on a similar sized ships is fantastic. The slides were very popular, and the temperature in the kids pool was really refreshing. The adult pool was a bit warm, but it was better than any zoom meeting I would have had to go to if we weren’t on vacation. The kids did splash around in the splash pool, but were expressly told that little kids had priority for fun in that zone. (That was a me rule, the lifeguards were not policing the kids.)

EXCURSIONS
In Grand Cayman we did a snorkel experience and for me, being on the catamaran in the lovely water with the island still in sight was glorious. We should have brought our own water, but the buckets of water provided were sufficient. The time in the gorgeous water at both locations was limited, but we appreciated getting back to the port in time to wander around town. The catamaran was pretty spacious and there was mesh nets up front where lots of folks were able to get cozy on for a beautiful view during the short ride to the snorkel spots.

Overheard: kid having a bit of a meltdown because the water was too salty. Oh man...kids. Take them on a $7,000 vacation to the Bahamas and they are mad because the ocean is salty. Have mercy.

On Castaway Cay we scored a cabana (probably only because of the concierge category) and it was very nice to have a place to be. It rained in the morning, and by rain I mean thunder, lightning and a squall that was so severe that they delayed our getting off the ship, for our own safety. It pushed us back by about 30-45 minutes but we were fine to not be out in that mess.

The rain turned to sprinkles and out we went. Staffing at the cabanas seemed light and we sort of just ran into an attendant. I figured out once we reboarded that the attendant was the bartender from the concierge lounge. I think we simply beat him to the cabana area.

THE CABANA
The cabana was nicely appointed, the furniture was comfortable and the outside showers helped us keep the sand to a dull roar.

We removed the sodas that we weren’t going to drink and put our beverages from our room, ahem the beer purse into the cooler.

The kids were in the water immediately and even though it was still cloudy they played with the tubes and the other floating things. The bay is shallow and a bit rocky but I managed without my water shoes just fine. Yes, I’m the person who brings stuff from Seattle to Miami to the Bahamas to not use them in the exact way they were designed to be used. Don’t judge me.

We splashed around a bit and then whammo it was time for lunch. A quick jaunt to one of the Cookies BBQ for a very tasty brisket sandwich and “the best beans”. CC has the same beverage center available at each of the two locations but I imagine if it was H-O-T that folks would want more water available nearer the family beaches. As it was raining we had difficulty finding a table that was covered and ended up at a table under a tree which provided enough cover to keep us from being drenched.

A quick peak through the gift shops that I had read had special items only available on the Cay, but it felt wrong to buy a Castaway Cay 5K t-shirt when I only “run to the bathroom”.

Bad news was waiting for us back at the cabana - jelly fish in the water had stung multiple guests so the water was off limits for the rest of the day. When I tell you that you could have eaten the kid’s disappointment it would not be a lie.

However, it was a good lesson in perspective. We had our beach chairs and each other so after a round or two of telephone and charades they found their groove again.

Later we were told that the adult beach was open for swimming but that kids were not being invited over there. We all opted to stay and play at our cabana.

DISNEY vs. NCL CABANAS
We had a cabana on Harvest Cay (NCL) and there were things that each did better.

The interior of the Disney cabana was more comfortable and the cay itself is nicer, the complimentary lunch was a treat, and the clarity of water is much better in the Bahamas. The work that Disney has done to make the cay a play space is superb. Th

The Harvest Cay cabana had a private bathroom and a full shower. The outdoor furniture was nicer, but didn’t have the water toys. Food wasn’t complimentary but there was a waiter who delivered our order so we didn’t have to leave the comfort of your cabana.

Price wise - both were similar.

OTHER ADD ONS
We purchased a water package and a room decoration package back when we were on a longer cruise in an inside cabin. I wouldn’t do other again, especially with the concierge class. Our room came with Evian and sodas. We ended up giving our canned water away to anyone and everyone we could.

Had I know about the bar cart or the ability to walk on 2 bottles of wine per adult I wouldn’t have purchased the beer mug - but DH traded the token back in at the end for the big glass, so he seemed happy with it.

I also purchased the premium wine package (again for the original 7 day cruise) and for a 5 day cruise I would back that down - as we had to gift one of our hand carried nice bottles of wine to our friends who were driving to Orlando for a few days in the Parks.

Things I think Disney could do better:
Let you view/adjust the add on items on your reservation before you sail. I think I could have called to request refunds based on the delay delay delay (not Disney’s fault) but I would have adjusted some things. My then 8-year-old would have been excited about the room decor, but the jaded 11 year old could really have cared less. I would have changed the wine package, and dropped the water altogether.
Food service at the cabanas. This is a lost opportunity for Disney to make some extra money.
Cabana price adjustment. We did not ask for such a thing, and Disney is not responsible for the horrific rain or the closure of the water, but in light of both of those things I would have offered a 10% reduction in the price due to loss of use - that would have been over and above.
Water, water everywhere. I think they should push water more. I found self-service water in the cabanas area and a bottle refilled by the sports court but wish it had been more available.

OTHER THOUGHTS
Disney Cruise App: This app is in many ways far superior to the NCL app (of 2018). Being able to click into the menus for each restaurant each night is brilliant. Getting notifications of scheduled events, dinner times is great. We didn't use the texting feature because as iPhone people our messaging worked over the limited Wi-Fi without impacting the 100mb credit that we had from our concierge perks. (we used it to check in to our flights)
Ship Population: I know our cruise experience was slightly impacted by the number of people on the ship. No one would give us an exact number but the crew seemed consistent in that there were about 1500 pax, or that we were missing about 1000 people. You could feel it, but not in a negative way. The hallways were clear, you could get an elevator when you needed it, getting on and off the ship for excursions was easy and quick - even the tendering.
Theater: Even with the lesser numbers and the pre-testing for covid we skipped the theater events. Again, this might have been a result of the ages of our kids now vs. when we had planned to go, but we had more fun on the pool deck at night watching movies like Inside Out, Up, Wreck It Ralph and even Frozen.
Disembarkation: As expected, super easy. New luggage tags were delivered to our room, we were assigned a breakfast time (waaaay to early for my taste) and were off the ship by 8:45 am. Grabbed a cab and off to the airport. I was disappointed to not see anyone getting off the ship in their PJs but I'm sure it happens at every cruise.

Fret and Worry

We are packed and ready to leave for the long delayed Disney Cruise.  My bag weighs 43 pounds, but I think I don't need to bring anything else.  I'm sure I will only wear half of the items that I "had" to include.

Well, that is if we get to go at all. 

A child in Lucy's classroom tested positive for Covid over the weekend.  So my anxiety is through the roof.  She is not being sent home and we have been asked to test her at the 3 day mark - which would be today or tomorrow.   If she's positive - the trip is off.  

The reassuring information is that she was not noted as a "close contact."   Earlier in the year when she was identified as a close contact she was still able to attend school but we had to do testing to stay in the classroom.  She ultimately did not test positive and all was well.

Even though the mask "mandate" has been lifted Lucy has been wearing her mask at school, except when eating and when outside.  I hope that also works in our favor.  

As I write this, my throat is itchy - which I am sure is a product of anxiety and worry. 

I need a vacation.

11

 The kid turned 11 this week.  We celebrated by cooking the favorite meal: meatloaf, "Aunt Chelsey's broccoli", and bread.  I added salad and mashed potatoes because... it's a requirement.  After dinner we noshed on an awesome store bought cake which was too good.

Instead of a crazy expensive gift, we opted for a collection of smaller and more fun gifts.  Fun t-shirt, lap desk, money, things for our upcoming vacation.  

It was fun, but a lot of work for a work night.  The next day, there was an early doctor's appointment to check out pain in Lucy's back.  To be honest, the appointment seemed like a fool's errand but I was going with the flow because the complaints about back pain have been consistent. 

Well, the egg is on my face because this kid actually has an issue that is verifiable on x-rays.  It's a pretty common stress fracture in the lower vertebrae.   I'm not a doctor, but google says this type of 'defect' is pretty common in kids and will heal with rest.   This week Lucy is keeping a pain journal and next week we will consult with the pediatric sports medicine specialist to determine which, if any activities we have to cut out.

Then, to make the week even more hectic Lucy woke me at 1:45 Thursday morning to tell me about an ear ache.  This obviously isn't common in the early 11 year old age group, so I did the best I could in the middle of the night with a decongestant, motrin and a heating pad.  Needless to say we were zonked on Friday.  Before I got Lucy settled again, she said to me "sorry I startled you, I hope you didn't have flashbacks to world war 2."  I did a doubletake and said "I'm only 53, I wasn't in world war 2."  She said "well, you know what I mean."   SAVAGE.

In spite of my advanced age and hurt pride, I was able to find a doctor appointment for this morning, or thought I did.  The clinic was locked up tighter than Fort Knox.  A quick call to the hospital scheduling team resulted in our driving to Federal Way for the walk in clinic.  With the ear infection confirmed and drops on order at the Issaquah pharmacy we headed home.

At 2, three of Lucy's besties arrived for an extended party/play afternoon.  "Play dates" are not allowed anymore.  They have played a board game that involved throwing a pair of foam burritos at one another - but Jason ended that when they knocked over an antique liquor glassware set.  He didn't want to tell me what they hit (I was taking a break and working on our taxes. yuck) but when he did, I let him know that that set came from his family.  "Really? I've never seen it before."  So much for me keeping the family heirlooms alive for his side of the family.

After the burrito game was re-boxed, there was some painting of cute ceramic gnomes, pizza (of course) and now they are working on these strange candy kits.  It's like miniature gummies that come in the form of mystery powder that the kids mix with water and then mold into the shape of whatever strange thing the kid is emulating.    They are now trying to form "hamburgers" and "cheese" out of bizarre colored goo.  I'll try to get photos, but frankly that room scares me a little.

One of these angelic children has a laugh that sounds like a horse with the hiccups.  I popped around the corner to do a proof of life and then backed away slowly.   

Jason, who made was on dinner duty has moved to the safety of the basement, with a beer or two I think.   I am able to monitor the events from my office because they are not quiet kids - but the sound of their laughter is actually pretty great. 

So, it was a rough week, with some very high spots.  I think Lucy will like being 11.  But I hope the horse hiccup laugh doesn't catch on.  

Thursday, January whatever 2022

 BLAH.

Ok, it's not that bad.  We had our first direct Covid exposure the first week back to school after the holiday break.  School was closed the 4th, for bad roads.  They needed a day to plow parking lots.  The following day just our school was closed because there was no water.  No water, no toilets, no hand washing - big problems.  

The peanut mentioned that a friend's family had tested positive, but the friend had not using a home test so was going to school Wednesday.  hmmm....ok.  Naturally, we were not at all surprised to find that the friend tested positive when the test was conducted by professionals.  As a "close contact" Lucy was required to "Test to Stay" at school.   This involves meeting Lucy at the school's Covid Center (a portable on campus) and the schools "Covid Coordinator" also known as the Vice Principal.  He did all the paperwork and prepped the test, but a parent had to do the nasal swab.  Four times around the left and then a reverse swish around the right.  NEGATIVE.

We cancelled all weekend plans and decided to wait out the 10 day period.  10 days or 5 days with no symptoms and a negative test...the CDC changed their recommendation during our isolation but go to school window.  Anyway, to be safe we closed ranks and limited our time with others.  Lucy tested again on Monday - NEGATIVE and then we waited to hear about when the third test would be required.   The answer is never, but we were not informed until we arrived at the school to conduct test #3.   I love our school, but information like "she doesn't need the third test we talked about last week" could have been conveyed to us on the day we were there for the second test.  Yes, we live close to the school, but we also have these things called jobs. Grrr

Setting aside my complaints about efficiency, we were thankful that not only did Lucy never test positive but the pal has since returned to school and seems pretty healthy.  I'm sure it was a scary time for their family and we hoped for the best.

The news reports that Omicron is everywhere and is scary, but it also peaking in the northwest but still be diligent... wear masks, get vaccinated, stay distant, but go spend money in shops, don't breathe on anyone, wash your hands, but don't go anywhere.  I jest - it's still a pretty gloomy spread of information.  

The delay of services at the hospitals is the most worrisome.  Our friend had a much needed surgery scheduled for the 31st of December but due to the spikes in positive cases all non-emergent surgeries were postponed.  He is hopeful to get it done next week, but we will see.   

On the 🐀front - we may have won the war.  It has been days and days and days since we've heard any scratches.  It's raining at the moment and the sound on the window behind me makes me nervous, but I'm 98.44% sure it's just a water sound.  But, once you have the threat of pests your mind goes to the crazy place with each little tip tap....