Fast Forward

Here we are at the end of September, and summer is over.

Beach camp was a huge success, bunking with the older cabin was the perfect set up and all worries were for nothing.  Lucy is excited to go back next year.  The crew were plotting how to ensure they could all be together next year, but that won't happen. Luckily, some of the cabinmates will still be eligible for that age group and ideally they can coordinate their weeks. 

Our trip to Las Vegas was fun, lots of sun, lots of pool time and lots and lots of walking.   I suppose it was even worth the second bout of covid that Jason & I experienced upon return home.   Lucy avoided us and didn't get sick this round.    

We did have to cancel our trip to the lake (again) which was disappointing, but we used that time to get things done around the house, so it wasn't a total loss.

The real thing we are dealing with is that Jason's dad hadn't been feeling well and ended up getting a CT amongst the other tests and they found melanomas on his lung and something on the lower intestine that they can't remove without doing major surgery.  So technically, this is stage 4 cancer, but if it doesn't move to the brain there are options.  They removed the item in the lung and discussed options about the path forward.

At 83, John doesn't want to do anything that is going to make him feel sick all the time.  I believe he has seen too many friends and family that have done chemotherapy and felt worse than they did before, but for the rest of their time.  It's a fair and reasonable desire to want to simply enjoy life.

His oncologist wanted to try immunotherapy, which is supposed to strip the cancer of the shell, if you will, that makes the body think that it's supposed to be there.  The theory is, that once the body recognizes the cancer as a threat it will start to try to heal itself, like it does when you're sick with the flu.   This therapy was supposed to have fewer side effects than a traditional chemotherapy, but that's not what happened.

The immunotherapy threw is body into a medical freefall with everything hurting, zero energy, no desire to eat, his heart rate was wacky and the oncologist told him to get himself to the ER. They drew blood for a myriad of tests, did another CT and finally sent him home.  That was a Friday, and on Monday the Oncologist called once she had the blood results and told him to come to the hospital (in downtown Seattle) to check himself in.   That was 10 days ago.  

There are better days and bad days, but so far, never two good days in a row. They've tried a couple things to get his systems back on track, but in discouraging news they stopped the latest and last best plan that the oncologist and the neurologist had proposed.  

John has moved from one room to another in the hospital, first it was the cardiac floor, then the regular hospital, then the neuro wing, and now he's currently in the critical care unit.  We don't know if this is different than the ICU, but we do know that the care he's getting is top notch.  He certainly likes the nurses in the CCU better than the "regular" hospital floor. 

Jason and I are taking turns taking Susie to the hospital every day, and on Jason's days he goes and stays and tries to work while waiting for the doctor's rounds. On the days that I take her, Jason goes later in the afternoon to visit and then pick her up.  They are both going to be experts in getting around the hospital.  

We are all weary and worried and hopeful. We are also extremely thankful that John & Susie live here now, as we would still be supporting them on this journey if they were in Denver, but we wouldn't be able to do it as a team.   Jason would be basically living in Denver while I would be here with Lucy. As it stands, we can split up the things that need to be done based on our schedules, and still have dinner as a team. Sometimes Susie stays, sometimes she heads back to Merrill Gardens and dines with their friends. It's good that she has that outlet.

We knew that we wanted them here to help in the event that someone got sick, but we were honestly thinking it would be Susie and her memory issues - and in years of their arrival.  

The family is standing by ready to help, but John wants no visitors and there isn't really much they can do at this point. Sometimes, the daily text about John's status is almost too much for Jason, but he finally put me on the text thread so that I could help with that. 

The crazy thing is that the recovery from the immunotherapy has been so all encompassing that we aren't even talking about the cancer anymore.  I have my doubts that John will be interested in trying something new after all this craziness is over.   So, for now it is one day at a time. 

We are researching skilled nursing/rehab places for John for when he's released. He's going to have to work back up to walking and to get his strength back before he can return to their apartment.  Hopefully, we can get him into one that has good food.  He hates the hospital food worse than he hates the food at Merrill Gardens - and that is really saying something.  

Whew

 The camp people finally responded to my messages.  Lucy is set to go!

We have pulled out the things to take, are gathering extras and we will drop her off Sunday afternoon.

I'm a bit jealous of all the water play in her future, but not so much the sleeping on the two inch inflatable pad (ick).

The camp team clearly needs some administrative help. I'd love to be able to take a couple weeks off to get them all up to snuff, but that would be a hard sell to either burn up vacation for someone else's business or somehow get my employer to cover it as paid leave. 

I did read a couple online reviews about the camp that were unnerving.  One, a child hurt their leg and the camp waited 24 hours to call a parent to take them to get a medical assessment and it turns out the leg was broken.  yikes.   The second was in relation to the trouble with getting ahold of anyone at the camp,

Our trusted neighbor said her son LOVED it there and we are confident Lucy will have a great time.  However, we are going to break one of the camp rules and smuggle in her cell phone.   She is to leave it off unless she needs to call us, and we told her not to even tell her cabin mates that she has a phone.  (unless it's an emergency.)  If it hadn't taken us weeks to talk to a human, I probably wouldn't be ok with this plan, but Lucy is trustworthy.  

Now that we know Lucy is going - we have a full kid-free week to plan.  What will Jason and I be doing?  Working, going out to the places Lucy doesn't like to go and...working.  Woo Woo

Plans and Worries

I'm a planner.  I want to have a vacation or something fun on the books before the current vacation kicks off. I don't need to have the future fun mapped out, but I do want to know that there is something to look forward to as we are jetting home, or I'm wrapping up all the vacation laundry.  

One of my favorite Amazon purchases last year was a three-year monthly planner.  I have vacations, birthdays, school holidays mapped out from 2022 to 2024.  I'd buy a 2025-2027 planner if they had one available.

One of the first things I put in the current planner was the date to register Lucy for summer camp.  Camps fill up, and to get the week you want you need to be on the ball.  So, on March first, I logged on to the selected camp, paid the deposit and signed that kid up.
This camp is highly recommended for the kid that likes water activities.  It's on the Puget Sound in Edmonds and one of the first things that happens is they issue the kid a wet suit for the week.  Then it's a week of kayaking, swimming, water bikes and paddle boarding.   It sounds wonderful.

Having never dealt with this camp before I didn't know what to expect, so that when a confirmation email wasn't sent after registration I didn't worry.  I knew that they would eventually communicate with us.  From the info on the site it sounds like the folks that run this camp are attorneys who possibly take six weeks in the summer off to run this camp and then jump back to real life.   I wasn't worried about the delays in responses to emails.  The camp didn't "open" until May 1st.  

But, now here it is, six days before drop off and I still haven't heard anything.  
I left messages, emailed earlier in the summer and did get a verbal confirmation that they have Lucy in their system but the lack of a pre-camp email that gives a family time to gather and pack all the necessary stuff is odd.

This is giving me anxiety and worry that we will show up and Lucy won't have a spot.  As a parent, I try not to manage away all the twists and turns that life can throw at a kid.  Dealing with change is how you grow into a capable adult, but having another summer camp yanked away would be really hard.  This isn't a participation trophy - this is a week of independent living with other kids.  

Last night, I texted the number on an email that I received in the winter when I first asked about the camp and woke up to an actual response.   (WHEW!)  We exchanged a bunch of information and she (Kristen) agreed it was strange that I haven't gotten any emails or information since we registered.  

So, now I'm anxiously awaiting her return call with details.   I'm still very worried that our registration didn't stick, and that Lucy won't be headed to camp on Sunday.  However, in a fit of optimism I ordered the required sleeping pad, which will be here Thursday. 
 

Fret and Worry

We are packed and ready to leave for the long delayed Disney Cruise.  My bag weighs 43 pounds, but I think I don't need to bring anything else.  I'm sure I will only wear half of the items that I "had" to include.

Well, that is if we get to go at all. 

A child in Lucy's classroom tested positive for Covid over the weekend.  So my anxiety is through the roof.  She is not being sent home and we have been asked to test her at the 3 day mark - which would be today or tomorrow.   If she's positive - the trip is off.  

The reassuring information is that she was not noted as a "close contact."   Earlier in the year when she was identified as a close contact she was still able to attend school but we had to do testing to stay in the classroom.  She ultimately did not test positive and all was well.

Even though the mask "mandate" has been lifted Lucy has been wearing her mask at school, except when eating and when outside.  I hope that also works in our favor.  

As I write this, my throat is itchy - which I am sure is a product of anxiety and worry. 

I need a vacation.

11

 The kid turned 11 this week.  We celebrated by cooking the favorite meal: meatloaf, "Aunt Chelsey's broccoli", and bread.  I added salad and mashed potatoes because... it's a requirement.  After dinner we noshed on an awesome store bought cake which was too good.

Instead of a crazy expensive gift, we opted for a collection of smaller and more fun gifts.  Fun t-shirt, lap desk, money, things for our upcoming vacation.  

It was fun, but a lot of work for a work night.  The next day, there was an early doctor's appointment to check out pain in Lucy's back.  To be honest, the appointment seemed like a fool's errand but I was going with the flow because the complaints about back pain have been consistent. 

Well, the egg is on my face because this kid actually has an issue that is verifiable on x-rays.  It's a pretty common stress fracture in the lower vertebrae.   I'm not a doctor, but google says this type of 'defect' is pretty common in kids and will heal with rest.   This week Lucy is keeping a pain journal and next week we will consult with the pediatric sports medicine specialist to determine which, if any activities we have to cut out.

Then, to make the week even more hectic Lucy woke me at 1:45 Thursday morning to tell me about an ear ache.  This obviously isn't common in the early 11 year old age group, so I did the best I could in the middle of the night with a decongestant, motrin and a heating pad.  Needless to say we were zonked on Friday.  Before I got Lucy settled again, she said to me "sorry I startled you, I hope you didn't have flashbacks to world war 2."  I did a doubletake and said "I'm only 53, I wasn't in world war 2."  She said "well, you know what I mean."   SAVAGE.

In spite of my advanced age and hurt pride, I was able to find a doctor appointment for this morning, or thought I did.  The clinic was locked up tighter than Fort Knox.  A quick call to the hospital scheduling team resulted in our driving to Federal Way for the walk in clinic.  With the ear infection confirmed and drops on order at the Issaquah pharmacy we headed home.

At 2, three of Lucy's besties arrived for an extended party/play afternoon.  "Play dates" are not allowed anymore.  They have played a board game that involved throwing a pair of foam burritos at one another - but Jason ended that when they knocked over an antique liquor glassware set.  He didn't want to tell me what they hit (I was taking a break and working on our taxes. yuck) but when he did, I let him know that that set came from his family.  "Really? I've never seen it before."  So much for me keeping the family heirlooms alive for his side of the family.

After the burrito game was re-boxed, there was some painting of cute ceramic gnomes, pizza (of course) and now they are working on these strange candy kits.  It's like miniature gummies that come in the form of mystery powder that the kids mix with water and then mold into the shape of whatever strange thing the kid is emulating.    They are now trying to form "hamburgers" and "cheese" out of bizarre colored goo.  I'll try to get photos, but frankly that room scares me a little.

One of these angelic children has a laugh that sounds like a horse with the hiccups.  I popped around the corner to do a proof of life and then backed away slowly.   

Jason, who made was on dinner duty has moved to the safety of the basement, with a beer or two I think.   I am able to monitor the events from my office because they are not quiet kids - but the sound of their laughter is actually pretty great. 

So, it was a rough week, with some very high spots.  I think Lucy will like being 11.  But I hope the horse hiccup laugh doesn't catch on.  

One Month In...

In person school has been good on many fronts, Lucy is happy to go each day and we like her teacher.  Lucy is building good habits by completing her daily homework before doing the fun stuff.  

She did push back a little bit last night when solving a word problem in math.  "Why can't Shelly help herself?  Why is she asking me to figure out the age of her sister?"   She's a funny kid.  Thankfully, the delay tactic didn't take too long and soon she solved Shelly's dilemma. 

There have been two kids in her class that tested positive for Covid-19 and my anxiety is now lower than before on that front.   Both students were exposed outside of school, and the school does an assessment of who the student has been in close contact with and then sends them home for two weeks to incubate.   (There is no online option, so they are on their own for keeping up with the class.)    No one is told who tested positive, but a few simple inquiries to the kid and it becomes obvious.  The yellow kids are the ones who were out with the first infection, and the green with the second. 

Kids from the first round have returned to school, and only the center X seems to be experiencing any noticeable issues.  (Keep in mind our information comes from a 10 year old, but she's pretty reliable.)  

Lucy is excited to have her classmates back as the 'yellow' kids were also at her lunch table and she had to eat alone for two weeks.  I wouldn't have thought the distancing that the school mapped out would be effective, but thus far, I'm impressed.

We are anxiously awaiting FDA approval for the kiddo's vaccine.  I feel like we're playing darts.

So, that happened...

Our little family had a pair of shoes to return to the local Nordstrom, and opted to go to Southcenter because there was another store in the area we wanted to visit.  

We seldom go to that location because there have been incidents in the past of "problem solving by gunshots" and we're just not into that.  

After the shoes were returned, we opted to make a loop thru the mall to see if there were any interesting stores.  It's still the pandemic and we haven't been anywhere in a while.  We picked up a cute custom shirt for the peanut and she bought an art piece from a vendor.  We decided to stop in one last store for summer clothes and Jason said he would meet us back at Nordstrom.  He went in search of a nice loo.

After finishing up at the short/cheapo summer shirt store Lucy and I were walking towards Nordstrom when we heard the gun shot.  We stopped, then heard a second and saw people running.   My childhood training of "walk don't run" failed to come back to me because my instinct was to grab that kid and RUN.

We made it to the door of the Nordstrom, but I'm not a runner and when my feet hit the marble of the store doorway, down I went.  I dislocated my shoulder in the process, and broke the humorous.   This took x-rays at the ER to confirm, but I was acutely aware that I was hurt. During the fall my purse went flying but my phone was in my line of sight and I was able to scoop it up and drop it in one of the shopping bags.

The really terrible thing was that Lucy and I got separated and she ended up outside the store with strangers, but without her mom or her dad.  These folks had no idea why the store was evacuated and a kind woman let Lucy borrow her phone so she could call her dad.

I was ushered thru the store via the back hallways to the same door that Lucy exited and was there pretty quickly.   Then, as I fished my phone from the shopping bag, I see the text from Jason.  "They are evacuating Nordstrom, see you at the car."   Clearly, the folks inside the Nordies did NOT know what had happened, which I guess is good.  The fewer people running and panicking the better.

Jason thankfully had a set of car keys and kept his cool while he drove a very upset Lucy and a hurt TPgal to the ER.  We opted to go to the one near our house vs. the one near the mall.   I knew I wasn't in a life threatening situation, so I didn't want to be the least hurt person at the nearest ER.  I had no idea how many people might have been hurt.  It was a long drive with me doing lots of breathing to meditate the pain away.

It's been 13 days and I'm still in a sling.  The bruise from the dislocation is rather epic (below) and the doc says that it's expected.  Sleeping is getting easier but it hurts. 

I see the orthopedist again on the 25th and start physical therapy that week.  He says it's almost a mirror image of the break from 2019.  He finds that funny, but the only comfort I take is that that break healed without surgery and other than minor stiffness when I try to hold my arm straight up it feels 100%.   This break is on my non-dominant arm, which makes life easer this go-round, but he said that rehab will be harder because of that, and because of the dislocation complication. 

As for Lucy, we are seeing a therapist to talk about the scary thing that happened to us and she's open to those conversations.  She needs to be able to go back to a mall without it being frightening.  

So, that's where we are.  I'm purple & gold, Lucy hates shopping even more than she did before and Jason is doing all the cooking and cleaning. The Nordies people found my purse and Jason was able to pick it up the next day. I'm still updating the automated credit card payments for the card that was cancelled.

8 days out

13 days

So, this kid has ten circles around the sun under her belt.   She is funny, clever, good at math and had a big heart.   She is teaching herself to write in Japanese and has been enjoying Japanese anime.

She has quite a few friends but during Covid has connected with one gal in particular.  They had a rare in-person play session this weekend and it was really wonderful to hear them running and giggling as they did whatever 10 year old girls do - create TickTocks of them dancing to songs I wouldn't think they knew.

She's learning the value of money, she has a savings account, but today when she and her friends learned that they could dress like their favorite book character this Friday at (remote) school, she was very happy to pay for a costume that is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow.  (Thank you Amazon.)

Lucy doesn't like to go shopping and especially hates an outing to Costco, but today is eager to go with her dad.  I think the draw of being able to select her own birthday cake is too much to resist.

I'm extremely proud of how she's handled this covid-lockdown and going to school remotely.  I know she'd rather do it in person, but she's been focused and engaged.  

I'm happy to be her mom.  💓💓

 

Drive-thru dance show behind a tavern - the most Renton thing ever.

Instead of a show on a stage in a theater, this year's dance recital is in a parking lot...

I suppose this is much better than no recital, but it also feels like a way to justify not refunding the costume fees.

The dance studio is working hard to make dance a reality in this moment of separation.  I am hopeful that when (if) school resumes next year that in-person dance classes will happen.

Now, the big question is will they do the summer dance classes via zoom as well.  I really hope not because keeping her attention for 4 hours will be challenging.

Lake Roosevelt

Cousins

Chilling on the pontoon.

No hands!

Peeping Lucy

That kid

It was soo hot that she didn't have time to change out of her school clothes before hitting the sprinkler.

I got  up to get coffee and she spread out.  

Game day

Lucy dressed herself for a game of backetball. Stripes on the ball ergo stripes on her dress and her tights. The visor is simply good sun management.

Easter 2016

So much for not popping over to look

I was 100% serious about not dropping over to the house to look at the progress, but that evil Jason made me go last night.

I'm so happy we did.

The detail work is happening now.  They are installing the closet and bathroom fixtures.  Our sod has been rolled out and the yards look amazing.  Our front yard is still extremely tiny, but now we could bury at least three people where as at the other house it was a single body yard.  The back yard is by no means expansive, but it is large enough for croquet and I love it.

There were workers in the kitchen installing our crown molding and the posts that will support the overhang on the island.  When selections of cabinetry and crown molding were done we did not have the benefit of having examples of all the other finish work that was standard to the house (posts, doors that sort of thing) and I think our selections look great!

There have been some drawers and pieces with our cabinets that have not been finished and last night we were told that some of the pieces arrived broken and had to be rebuilt.  We had ordered pull out cabinets in the island and in one of the cabinets flanking the stove.  It turns out pull outs were ordered for all the cabinets (which would be one extra) but one of the sets came broken.  The installer was in the kitchen mulling over how to custom build the pull outs and asked us what our preference was.  We made his day by saying we were happy with the one set that was already installed and that he didn't need to rebuild anything.

Making his day made all the workers happy and we got a high five.  Then I walked over to the fireplace to look at the paint job on the tiny and super wrong mantle and the lead wood worker called across the room to me and said "we're going to fix that, you'll love it."   I said "it was supposed to have an overhang right?"  He said something about the paperwork being confusing, but that he was still working on it.   I don't have many expectations as to what it will look like, but I'm hopeful that it will not look like a mistake and be reflective of the other amazing finishes in the house.  He said "trust me, you will love it."  All the other guys were all "he's the best, it will be great,"   I can live with that.

We get to do the formal walk thru tomorrow.  That leaves them with three official work days to finish it all up.  We sign our paperwork on the 20th or 21st.  Money transfers happen on the 21st and we close on the 22nd.

Lucy is holding it together pretty well.  We are being very lenient with attitude and making sure to focus our family time on playing with her.  She's ready for normalcy and I can't wait to give it to her.  She is a champion.  Leniency does not mean that I'm letting her get away with barking orders at me "Mom, I'm HUNGRY.  Juice, Toast!"  That is not how I roll.    She crossed the line this morning and we had a talk about it.  A calm, low toned talk.  Those are scary.

We are letting some rules slide because of the changing environment.  She gets to eat her breakfast in our room until we move, and I'm allowing her to watch the movie in the car on the way to school.  Once we move, our room will be a food free zone and the commute to school will be so short that we'll be back to no movies.  Right now, these are small accommodations and we've already talked about the new rules at the forever house.

Bouncing Girl

If only...

If only we had money to burn we could get Lucy a bed that she would 100% hate but that would be fun for us.

Lucy & Grandpa Dancing

Our girl

Her class went to Chuck E. Cheese this week and they have a "game" where you can take your picture. This is the one she took of herself.

It is perfection.

Progress

 It is hard to tell from this angle, but we were pleased to walk thru the house this weekend and discover that the missing windows have been framed in and the other corrections that were needed on the main floor are framed out perfectly.

The master bath has not yet been re-framed, but it's pretty clear to us from the progress and the installation of the roof trusses that the overall schedule is moving as planned and the bathroom reconfiguration will occur but will also not delay other critical scheduled activities.  

We project that the house will have the first layer of roof completed by the end of day Wednesday at the latest (unless they aren't working early this week which doesn't seem likely as all their equipment was tucked into the rafters over the weekend.

The shorter fireplace is going to be really lovely and we're very happy with our decision to remove the built-in shelves.  

We are discussing modifications to the front porch stoop.  We'll be talking to the PM about either adding a railing on the garage side of the stoop for safety, because by code they don't have to add one unless the stoop is 30 degrees above grade and ours is not.  The other option is to have a second step poured on that side and install a decorative but sturdy hand rail for visitors who may need assistance with entry.  This may not work because adding a step to that side of the stoop may not be allowed based on code - but we will inquire.

Going to the house with Lucy is a "special joy".  Let me translate that for you, I mean that she will no longer be invited when we do drop by until the house is at a stage where we can give her a sedative (video game) and she'll stay put.  She finds it boring and makes it challenging for us to walk around and get a feel for the space.  It's amazing how she miraculously has to use the restroom on an urgent basis EVERY TIME we go over there.  I'm telling you, we're going to name the place Laxative Lounge.   We'll still be going over on a regular basis, but we're going to kennel Lucy when we do.   

Terrible Twos??? Pishaw

Those who are ahead of us by just six months in the parenting space have been saying that a 3 year old is NOTHING like a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old is nothing like the kid you had at 3.  Man oh man were they not kidding.

Mostly, it's all good.  We make funny faces before bed and hers are the best.  She tells me secrets like when she's grown up she wants to take me to Disneyland, and Daddy can come too.  I can't be sure, but I think she thinks she'll be a grown up within the next two years.  She is helpful, she loves to have a job to do.  Thank you for jobs big enough for a wee one to help with.

Naps are a thing of the past.  She still rests at school, and I'm sure the AH-MAZING teachers run such a tight ship that she even sleeps on most days. Weekends...not so much.  If we've had a crazy busy day on Saturday I can somewhat get her to do a quiet activity on her own during the day on Sunday, but mostly not so much.

The real pain is the gap between her patience and ability to use words to make her point.  When she's tired, like after school or late on the weekends she can't hold it together when she doesn't get her way.  And by hold it together I mean, she's on the floor, there are tears, she can't seem to hear us, or calm down.   There are brief moments when my instinct is to talk to her louder than she's yelling and then I remember a few things:

1) I'm the mom.
2) I'm in CHARGE
3) I do not want to live in house where people yell.
4) Talking to her in a low, calm voice at her level helps her calm down.

There are times when her frustration boils over because she just wants to feel like we heard her.  This is super easy to manage.  We sit and I tell her I either heard her, or when she calms down she can tell me what she's trying to say.  She is an actual person.

damn it mom...

She has, on occasion given me stink eye or really scowled at me.  Those moments break my heart because I can see into the future and the terrible teenager that she could morph into.

I can predict two futures, one where she stops getting her way and the fact that we hold her back from watching hours and hours of Paw Patrol turn her against us and we have to sleep with our bedroom door locked so she doesn't knife us in our sleep.  The other where she's a semi-reasonable child who can roll with the everyday disappointments that life brings.  I'm hopeful we're doing everything we can to be the second family.

 She'll be 4 in about 6 weeks and that's a good thing.  I'm sure four will be a total breeze.