2021 - The year we waited

 I am impatient.  While I like to plan and anticipate a vacation, I really don't' like waiting on things that don't seem to have a planned conclusion.  

We have a number of things just hanging out in the world waiting to conclude. None of these are life threatening, but all are annoying in their own way.  

The first is the saga with the deck furniture.  In 2020 when we had to cancel our New York and Canadian Cruise trip we turned that vacation money into quality furniture for our deck.  If we couldn't leave home, at least we could be cozy in our yard.  We were quickly the owners of a teak couch and two side chairs that were teak and mesh.  (We wanted the matching chairs to the couch, but were trying to be reasonable with our spending.)

Unfortunately, the mesh chairs had a flaw.  At the back and bottom of the seat the mesh was secured to the frame with screws, but the depth of the screw wasn't really big enough to maintain it's grip.  Moving the chairs, or sitting in them was enough jiggling for the screws to simply drop out.  We replaced one of the chairs but continued to have troubles.  Finally, in May we went back to the retailer who agreed to return the chairs and apply the original purchase price to a new purchase.  (High regards to Summerhouse Furniture for their professionalism.).    We ordered the chair that we originally wanted but couldn't stomach the price.  Somehow splitting the cost over two years made it better.  

So, the order was placed May 12th.  We get monthly phone calls from Summerhouse regarding the delays and at last check-in the chairs are set to arrive by November 15th.    The summer season is obviously over, but the good news is that we didn't have to worry about what to do with the chairs while the deck was being worked on.  See Deck Saga below.

The better, but missing chair

The mesh chair

The Deck Saga

Our house is still really new and we don't need major improvements.  However, the deck that the builder installed at the back of our house was questionable, and we're sure it was to code, we think it barely met the minimum requirements.  After 4 years the stairs were extremely wobbly and didn't feel safe.   So, with a bit of planning we decided to have the deck resurfaced and have the stairs rebuilt. 

We engaged the contactor on March 30, paid a deposit and waited.  We waited some more, and then when we got done with that, we waited again.   The crew finally arrived to start work on July 6th.  They made quick work of removing and replacing the old deck boards.   Of course, the moment the work started our deck and back yard became completely unusable.   We underestimated the amount of time it would take, which is something I blame on HGTV.   I should know better, as the two-week home makeover is just as unrealistic as the dog walker and a yoga mat designer finding a two bedroom apartment in Paris.

The main deck work has been done since early August, but we opted to install a custom metal railing.  As we are NEVER going to stain the deck again. It was supposed to be a three week fabrication and a week or so to schedule the installation.  But, here we are on October 7th with no railing.   Contractor Chris emailed last month and said that they were expecting installation on 10/13.  We haven't heard anything about that since then, so if it happens it will be a pleasant surprise.  

Sadly for Contractor Chris, he doesn't get paid until the job is done.  Our deck payment is sitting in the money market account growing month by month. We offered to make a partial payment, but he never responded. 

The resurfaced deck, still dangerous without a railing.

The deck without boards - super dangerous!

Clothing Saga Canada vs the US

Ok, this one is stupid, but is really irritating.   On September 21 I ordered some items from J.Jill a national retailer in the US.  On September 25th I ordered some clothing from a small shop I found in Victoria British Columbia, Canada.

The international delivery arrived yesterday.  

The package from J.Jill was shipped on the 24th and made it's way from New Hampshire to Chicago by the 27th.  It took it three days to get to the FedEx facility in Kent, which is a 23 minute drive from our house (12 miles).

It has been sitting in the FedEx facility for seven days with no movement.  Eventually, the package will be transferred to the US Postal Service for the "final mile", but who knows when that will be.   It has been so long, that the charge to my credit card for the purchase has already been paid.

I wish I didn't like their clothing so much, because the delay is aggravating.

Finally, 2020 Taxes

Usually I prepare our family taxes but this year when I completed the returns the amount of money that I showed we had to pay was triple the amount that we've ever had to write a check for.  (It's good news, bad news - if you have to pay, you're probably doing pretty good financially.)  So, we decided to find an accountant to check our numbers.   She filed an extension with the IRS to allow the time for her to complete our taxes.

I scanned all the information she wanted, and then... you know it.  WAITING.

July --- wait

August - wait

September - come on... reaching out, any word?  A reply, "just finishing up corporate quarterly returns and then I'll get yours done and we can go over them."

October 7th... these damn things are DUE 10/15!   I pinged her today to see if we can schedule time next week.   The lack of communication is beyond frustrating, and unless she comes back and says "you only owe $3,000"  I'm pretty sure this will be the end of our business relationship.   I'll spend the remainder of the year searching for a new accountant.

Making Plans

We're being told that the odds are better that I'll become a Saint than actually winning the Mega Millions lottery tonight.  I don't think "they" know how I could NEVER be a Saint, so the odds of the lottery win are actually in my favor.

Regardless of the minuscule chances of winning, it's been a fun 24 hours thinking about what we would do with the money.  After a quick search online at premier homes for sale it became clear that we'd "need" to build a custom home to meet our selfish wants.  A soundproof media room for the kids (Jason & the man friends) and a craft room for me.  I'm envisioning white built-in cabinets to store my gift wrapping stuff, a solid surface island for all the macaroni crafts Lucy and I will be making and a place for my sewing machine to live where it can be at the ready (maybe on a table that pulls out from the wall so it can be tucked away for clean lines in the room (like an appliance garage).  Our needs are simple and we're probably thinking really small, but we're simple people.

Then the next dilemma is built the house big enough so the grandparents can move in and live with us, or build tiny in-law cabins on the "compound" so they can be close when they want, but we can still carry on with Naked Tuesdays like normal.  I'm guessing, once they come to grips with the fact that Naked Tuesday is a reality that they'll opt for their own private space.  If Naked Tuesdays isn't happening now, it will happen after the option of all those people living with us is a possibility.

As for charity work, do we start your own foundation or set aside money and dole it out to the charities we're already supporting?  It would be really fun to write some big checks to the charities we're supporting now.  I'm sure the Domestic Violence Prevention group that my classmates started last year would be super excited for a whopper donation, because they are over the moon for everything over $100.   There would certainly have to be a plan as I'm sure the requests for help from genuinely needy souls would be coming at you, and I'm not good at "no".

The other thing about being wildly rich would be the creative theme parties we could throw.  Right now I'm thinking that a "Hunger Games" themed party would be a hoot.  Maybe the guests wouldn't have to actually kill each other, but physical challenges in the woods would be great fun to watch.  I guess it all depends on who we invite over.  That boy from high school who broke my heart, he should be wary of an invitation to a "high school reunion" at my place.

Over breakfast this morning, Jason said that we'd have to extend our upcoming Maui vacation and fly the grandparents and Lucy over to join us (that includes you too Mom... chill out.) but I am so ready for a solo (Jason and I) vacation that the first thing out of my mouth was -"they can come, but AFTER we get a week to ourselves!"  That's when I got the "chill out" look from my beloved.



It would be a "big ask" to ask the grandparents to endure the five hour flight with the Lucy, but we'd put them in first class to ease their discomfort.  After a cocktail or two Lucy is very compliant.  I bet the flight attendants would be all "judgey" about feeding cocktails to the one year old - whatever.

Until tomorrow morning these plans are a fun distraction.  In the meantime, today is the day the sheets get washed and unless I'm super confident of our win and the arrival tomorrow morning of Fabritzo, our new houseboy, I'll have to do it myself.

Taxi cab attorney

I survived the sickness enough that the urgent care doctor told me I could travel to my business meeting Tuesday.  My flight was somewhat easy, but I was the slow lumbering person you hate to get behind at the airport.   Eventually I made it to sunny, but chilly Las Vegas (65... brrrrr)

My taxi driver initiated conversation, asking where I was from and why I was in town.  I said for a meeting and he kept asking questions so much so that I shared that I was in information security and through the course of the conversation that I had worked at a bank.

Serge (not his real name) perked right up and said "You worked for a bank?  What do you know about short sales?"

"Not much, I've done some reading."

"I got this paper here that says that they are selling my house and I need to know what it means."   Then he hands me this 5 page letter from Bank of America.  As he's handing it through the glass I'm telling him, I'm not a lawyer. "no, but you seem smart, please read it and tell me what it means."

I quickly scanned through the document and it was pretty clear.  He had a mortgage for $200k, the bank had accepted an offer for $130k and would be writing off the remaining $70k.

He asked me to explain the fine print which essentially said that Bank of America could NEVER sue him for the  remainder amount of the loan, that he would be entitled to zero monies as part of the transaction, no funds would be handed to him even to hand over to the other party and that the deal would close on December 15.

We had a brief chat about Primary Mortgage Insurance and how the bank would be getting any money from any claims related to PMI on his loan.  It was then that he said that he had saved for years and years and bought this house with 20% down so he didn't have PMI.  He asked why if Bank of America would accept $130k for his house from Eduardo Somebody, why they wouldn't take $130 from him so he and his family could keep the house.   That is the question of the decade Serge.

At the end of the short cab ride, Serge asked if he could sleep that night.  I told him that yes, the deal seemed good, he didn't have to pay anything, he wasn't in any trouble and as long as they were ready to move by December 15th that yes, he could sleep at night. At the hotel he thanked me profusely and took my cab $25 fare and was off.  Heck, he almost hugged me.

I felt pretty good about our interaction until the cab ride back to the airport and the charge was only $12.50.  

I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

I did sit down at a 1 cent machine and put in $5.  I walked away when my winnings totaled over $50.  I felt that for a business trip that was a nice conversion rate.  Other than that little moment in the casino I was in my room.  I napped, took a bath, ordered room service and went to bed early.  So much for Terri's Wild Vegas Evening.  The meeting was good and really worth my time.  It sucked getting home at midnight last night, but much better than another night away from home.

who is at fault

Bathtime

Yes, I'm calling you cheap!

I heard a story the other day about someone who bought a Groupon (an Internet coupon that they sell to multiple people for things like "$20 in gift certificates to McDonalds for $10) and wanted to use it with a friend.  This person 'charged' their friend half the price of the coupon to join them for lunch.  

I get that the coupon cost money, but if I decided I wanted to eat at McDonalds under this half price thing and wanted you to join me, you can bet your Bippus that I wouldn't be charging you to join me.  I might not share my coupon but if I did it would be my treat. 

It would be a different story if there was a discussion about the coupon before the purchase.  The "do you want to go in together on this" is different than "I bought it, you owe me $5."

It reminds me of a former college roommate I had who totally flipped out over how the bills were divided.  Believe me it was not simple math to divide the phone bill into what was fair for the three of us - identify the long distance charges, the taxes on those charges, the costs of local service and the taxes on the local service.  I tell you this so you're aware that we were on so much of a budget that there would be arguments over who dialed directory service.  (This was before the Internet.)

Inevitably there was a penny difference when dividing utility bills and this roommate bitched one month that she "always paid the extra penny" on the power bill.  In my memory of how this conversation went down I believe I gave her a quarter and told her to leave me alone for the next two years.  I'm pretty sure that isn't exactly what happened, but I do recall coming home from my silly job at the deli one night to find hate notes all over the apartment.  "You Suck", "You're a Whore", "BITCH"... on and on taped to windows, the fridge, my bedroom door.  So I may have done something negative to irritate her at some point, I can't be sure.

For the record, this story is NOT about Becky, whom I did live with in college, but who never EVER called me a bitch or a whore.  I think the "you suck" emerged from her lips but it might have been after I made her pee her pants during an uncontrollable laughing fit. 

The "you're a whore" roommate and I lost touch after we stopped living together that semester.  It's possible she might have been a tiny bit unstable.  I'm sure I'm not the easiest person to live with, but she must have been really mad to use 16 sheets of expensive notebook paper to tell me off.

I will admit that the cheapo sickness infects me from time to time...but I try to put things in perspective.  TRY is the operative word. I did lose it at the Starbucks in our hotel in Las Vegas over their prices...but that night spending $150 on dinner didn't phase me at all.  In fact, we thought we got a deal.

Perspective is what we need.  Perspective, and a really good comeback about a quarter.

Dear recipient
 
How are you today and business in your country? I am Huang,
Bank Manager of bank of Overseas,Taiwan.A British Oil
consultant/contractor with the Chinese Solid Minerals
Corporation, Mr.Bowen Atkinson made a numbered time (Fixed)
Deposit of $30,000,000.00 for twelve calendar months and not
too long Mr.Bowen Atkinson died from an airplane crash.

I have some issues with this important communication from Huang, who wanted to let me know that all I have to do to claim this $30,000,000.00 times twelve is show up and claim it. (Does Huang not know how much money "$30,000,000.00 times twelve" is?)

"Bowen Atkinson" from the UK sounds a bit like Rowen Atkinson.  You would think that if Rowen's brother "Bowen" died then it might have made the news. 

Furthermore, what mother in her right mind would name her children Rowen and Bowen Atkinson?  It just seems like a crime.  If they were triplets would they have been Rowen, Bowen and Owen?

If Huang is truly a Bank Manager then he should know that business in my country kind of blows right now.

Could they name their "bank" anything less banklike and anything more silly like "Bank of Secret Offshore Accounts Hidden From The IRS"

"twelve calendar months" - what other kind of months are there -lunar?

Lastly, it is sad to hear that Bowen died of an airplane crash.  It sounds like an illness.  Maybe he wasn't IN the airplane that crashed, but hit by a flying piece of luggage or bag of peanuts.

Too bad I'm busy this weekend,"$30,000,000.00 times twelve" sounds like a lot of money and I wish I could zip over to Taiwan to pick it up. 

"Um yeah hi!  My name is Terri and I'm here to see Huang."

Quote of the week "Maybe Lucy will be stupid.."

Jason and I met with the financial services people today to set up her college savings fund and get the ins and outs of it.

Do your own research, but the 529 investment fund seems like a good bet to us. We put the money in (after taxes) and as long as the funds are used for a 'school' that is eligible for federal funding (college, trade schools, etc) the growth on our investment is tax free. Unlike the GET program where you purchase tuition credits, this fund allows for more flexibility of where the money can be used and it can be used for education related expenses - books, housing - that sort of thing.

If Lucy gets scholarship money we can pull out the same amount without a tax penalty. (NICE.) It can also be transferred to anyone we like, so if the child displeases us we can give the money to a better child.

In the car on the way home from the meeting Jason said "Maybe Lucy will be stupid and we can use the money to go to that culinary school in Italy that we were talking about." I wouldn't bank on that being the case, but maybe she will be so bright that colleges will be lining up to cover her expenses.

The bright spot (for me) is that the money people told us that if we invest $100 a month starting now, she should be fully covered for an in state university such as UW or WSU. If she "has" to go to Oxford in England then she'd better get cracking on the books as we're only planning on funding an in state education. It was nice to hear that we're not totally behind the 8-ball.

Busy week

We have a busy week on the books for us. Today Lucy is taking us to Costco and I'm making dinner this evening. (Buttermilk chicken, potatoes, green beans and some sort of sweet thing.)

Tomorrow Jas and I meeting with our financial adviser to set up a college fund for Lucy. I'm sure that we'll learn that at only 6 weeks old, we're behind the curve on the amount we've put away so far (not much.) We're going to take our poop machine out on the town Tuesday night and share her with the city of Renton. We'll be celebrating Lucy's 6 week birth-a-versary (and not cooking dinner at home.)

Wednesday Grandma S goes home, so our morning will be all about her soaking up every minute she can with Lucy.

Thursday I have my 6 week postpartum doctor appointment. Thank you Becky for coming to entertain Lucy while I see the doctor. I'm feeling 98% great. The 2% I'm missing is related to the lingering issue with my incision. The nurse was in agreement that waiting until this appointment was the right thing to do, and for the most part it isn't painful, but every now and then I notice that things aren't quite right. There's a tightness and a dull twinge (maybe a 1 on the pain scale) but the pain should be at a zero. So, Thursday we'll assess it.

After our appointment, we three girls will find somewhere to have lunch. To be honest, Lucy can and will eat anywhere. Becky and I will probably prefer to eat at PF Changs or The Cheesecake Factory. It will be Becky's choice and my treat.

Thursday night, Jason, Lucy and I will be meeting with Pastor K to discuss baptism for Miss Lucy.

Friday, Auntie Lynne will be coming over and J&I will be heading out to the symphony. We didn't renew our tickets for next year, but aren't going to pass on the ones we've already purchased either. We're blessed with a large number of Aunties who want to come hangout with Lucy while we go play. We're hoping to work in a date night at least once a month.

Next week Lucy and I will be practicing going to daycare. She'll do fine, I'm sure I'll be a wreck. We'll probably only do it Monday and Tuesday and certainly not for the whole day. I don't want to miss too much time with my girl.

Lucy is napping on the sheep right now. Poor little bunny has a bit of a cold. Her left sinus area is stuffed up and I've been using the bulb thing to remove the excess liquid. Wow, does she hate that! Helping her breathe easier is more important than the screaming she does for 3 minutes after a suction event. Being the mommy is a rough job.

Grandma S is upstairs doing laundry and vacuuming. I'm going to miss the doctor mandated vacation from the vacuum. The laundry thing she does is a huge bonus. I don't mind doing it and will keep up once she goes home, but my tolerance for piles is much larger than hers. I learned a while ago to let her do it.

More later!

Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure what I'm more excited about, a weekend with no commitments (other than the hospital tour tomorrow morning) or that my icky rash (see the other blog for gory details) has really gotten better.  I slept very well last night all things (potty breaks) considered.

I know we, as residents of the pacific northwest, should be prepping our Seahawks gear and logging onto Stubhub to get tickets to the big game, but I'm unimpressed.  I will be a not-so-quiet naysayer and say that I think anyone with dreams of going all the way with THIS team is may about to experience what it feels like to be a WSU fan.

I will say that I think football playoffs are a lot more to the point than NBA and Baseball.  Best of 7? What is that all about?    I like the lose once and you're out concept.  Sure, sitting through multiple baseball games during a championship run is fun, but best of 7... seriously?  

My mom is excited about the game and I appreciate her enthusiasm.  I also appreciate that she's not at my house in her Blue and Turquoise gear screaming at my tv.  Although, mom - there are tickets to the game to be had.  You could drive over and go... I'm just saying. 

In the boring category, I've started pulling together our information for taxes.  I'm going to try to do our 2010 taxes myself with the aid of TurboTax.  I've been compiling our receipts and find it depressing how much we dine out week after week.  I'm sure that Lucy will put a dent in that, with the portability issue and the loss of a chunk of disposable income toward child care.  Home cookin' will be just fine I'm sure.

I have no earth shattering news, so this will be my post for today.  Have a great weekend!

I'm RICH!!!

Starbucks announced for the first time ever they will be issuing a 10 cent per share dividend. OH MY GOLLY, I am so excited that I have held on to my shares. They have been sitting in my Fidelity account and change in value over the years, they are up they are down. Every now and then at the annual shareholders meeting they send their prospectus with a free coffee coupon. That has been thrilling, but now this!

What will I do with my dividends? Oh crap, I live in a community property state so I have to share my new found wealth with my husband. He's pretty reasonable and I'm sure I can turn my our dividends into something useful, like.. Oh I don't know. What can you do with the dividends for five shares?

I know I can get:

1) A postage stamp

2) A Seattle Times daily newspaper

3) A shitty store brand can of cola

4) two small gumballs

I'm sure it will come in check form so the act of driving to the bank will negate the influx of cash, but if I had a thousand shares I could really do something with it.

Way to go Starbucks!

Give it away

In my quest to finish the work so my tax accountant can do major math I am in the process of entering all of our annual donations into itsdeductibleonline.com (an online donation tracker that uses pre-established amounts for common items donated.)

I'm going through the sixteen lists of items donated throughout the year and entering each one into the site. It's a gigantic pain in the butt, but worth it because we essentially donated one entire household worth of stuff (mostly kitchen & bedding) during the year. Taking a standard $500 deduction isn't good enough.

We cleaned out my condo in February & March, then started in on Jas' place in the early spring, in July and August we had another major push before moving into the house and finally there was the stuff we didn't find a home for in the new house.

I don't miss any of this "stuff" but it is interesting to look at the lists and see how we prioritized things. My lists start small and then grow to very large; the largest has over seventy-four individual item types on it, with many items like wine glasses and trivets having multiple quantities.

I see the receipt for things I was happy to part with - a 'fugly' entertainment center, sets of 3 or 4 wine glasses that don't match anything else in our collections, tons of Tupperware (with lids!) yuck!

Thankfully, last year I went through the same exercise while donating Messy Martha's usable items and remembered to keep good records. The deduction amount may be significant and I want to make sure we can explain it. We even have photos of some of the donations - not that it technically proves anything, but it shows we at least had the items.

I'm also pleased to report that the lists are fairly evenly distributed between HIS stuff and MY stuff. It doesn't appear that either of us took it in the shorts when it came to who had to sacrifice their 'stuff' for the greater good. I have a lot more kitchen stuff on my lists, but we clearly kept the "best of breed" from each household. My full-sized bedding collection took a significant hit, but as I no longer had a full-sized bed and Jas didn't have one either it was a smart decision.

His t-shirt archive was severely impacted, but as the person who unpacked the remaining collection into our shared clothing closet I can say with all certainty that he is not going to be t-shirtless anytime soon. I did save the marquee shirts for awesome music and sporting events - especially the ones he wore with pride at the time. I think getting rid of the "Colorado Academy 6th annual yard races day" t-shirt in LIME green was a reasonable decision (never worn btw), but the much worn concert t-shirt from an epic classic band... KEEPER!

It is slow work entering these into the deduction finder. I've completed five thus far and have had to stop and blog... my goal is to get at least 4 more in tonight, and one of the four will be the big one from my condo. Goals...

It helps that I'm in San Jose and there's not much on tv tonight, but the desk here is badly located and even using a pillow to elevate myself my neck hurts already.

SO, before I move on to add more items, I'm going to go have dinner. No wine tonight though... I have homework.

taxes....

I have been VERY lax about entering my business receipts and expenses into Quicken. I have enjoyed a year of saving small pieces of paper and now I am in in HELL.

In order to get our taxes for 2009 done I need to bring my completed homework to the accountant and it is kicking my butt.

Of course, had I been doing it all year long it wouldn't be such a challenge, but alas...I'm a procrastinator.

I have made significant progress, all my receipts and expenses have been entered and all I'm doing now is creating invoices (up to August!) and then I can enter the payments I've received and I think I'm done.

Last year I went to the trouble to itemize all the sales tax I paid and I think with the wedding expenses it might be worth the trouble to do it again this year, but WOW, what a pain in the hiney.

Maybe next year we can return to turbo tax -- but not this year.

Taxes... blar!

Don't Spend it all in one place

I know it’s not polite to talk about money, but this one hurts and I have to get it out.

I received an email from my investment company telling me that my “withdrawal” had been processed and a check sent to me. Having requested no transactions I was worried and immediately logged in to see what was happening. Well, it seems that the last of the financial hits from the failure of Mega bank has been finalized in my world.

Earlier in the year I transferred all the actual money from my dead 401k into a new investment fund and it is nicely producing a tiny growth and will eventually be the nest egg it once was. However, when this transaction occurred they didn’t touch the company stock in my portfolio. As a no longer traded item, I’m not sure anyone knew what to do with it – so it sat there.

They finally figured it out and I have been cut a check for a little over $135.00. This will be a nice addition to the upstairs TV fund or a small addition to my short term savings fund but looking at the yearend statement for the fund in total I want to throw up. This tiny little check means that I am “recouping” $0.00376 cents on the $1 of my original holdings. If you’ve got a calculator, I’m sure you can figure out the starting figure. I’d post it, but it makes me too sad.

I know that in the overall course of things, I got off pretty lucky. I walked away with a nice severance, I obtained work right away and am ending the year on very solid footing. I am NOT WHINING. However, this financial loss is real and extends to every shareholder of Megabank stock who didn’t think to sell when the price dropped from $38 a share to $16, and then poof. It’s ‘nice’ that the FDIC seized the bank and sold it for pennies on the dollar to a bigger more stable bank with a more stable portfolio. People who banked at the bank were “secure” in their insured holdings, but the investors… got screwed.

I was at a party earlier in the month and ran into someone I knew briefly at the bank and we had the usual catch up conversation. How are you? Are you working? Is that your choice? And for many people the answers are, I’m good, I miss the people at the bank, I’m (am /not) working (at xxx.com) and I think I (love / hate) it. Many people are not as employed as they were before and have embraced the change. Some have chosen totally different paths, and some are still looking for the right position. This gal, isn’t working (after not looking at all until the fall) and is frankly ANGRY about it. She wanted to know if I was considering suing. Sue!? Who? The state court already said the shareholders didn’t have a case and that the FDIC had every right to seize the bank. (I find it fishy that it all went down less than 10 days before TARP monies were offered…but that’s a different thing.) So, no, I haven’t thought about suing. I lost a lot of money and a job I liked working with a team of people I respected and it is done. Being angry doesn’t change anything.

I think the only thing I can do is learn from it. Lesson 1: don’t buy the CRAP the CEO and CFO tell you. When the stock starts to freefall, get out. Lesson 2: Don’t invest more $$ in the company you work for than you’re prepared to lose. I was only 20% invested in my 401k in Megabank stock. I now see that that was too much and should I be lucky enough to work for a traditional employer again with a 401k I’ll cap that % at a lower rate, especially if stocks are part of my compensation package. (If they are giving me stock, maybe buying more is a silly idea.) And, don’t hold the compensation stock too long. The stock I was “given” as part of my compensation package that I cashed out I turned into my condo which was a very good investment for me. Had I held it, it would have been worth nothing – or rather 0.00376 cents. ICK. Sure I paid taxes on it, but tax is better than a pot full of nothing.

PS – don’t take investment advice from me. I’m just rambling here.

And now I'm pissed

Jas & I have a smallish (but not insignificant) joint savings account at the bank formerly known as WaMu. I noticed today when I transferred a wedding gift into the account that they dinged us for $20 this month and last month.

WHAT THE HELL!?

I called to talk to a telephone banker who told me that when our down payment check cleared our account dropped below the minimum for a free account an now we'll be paying $20 a month until we can add another $5000.00 to the account.

EXCUSE ME?

What I heard them say was "Your account isn't worth our time and we don't really want your business." One phone call to the credit union I tried to quit last year (but didn't) and I find that not only is their money market rate higher but they don't charge a fee unless you go under $1000.00 we are WELL over that amount.

CHASE, I wish I could quit you... AND I CAN.

Now, Jas and I have to discuss the options for moving the savings and maybe all the other accounts. Oh it's a damn hassle, but don't offer me .50% interest but charge me a 2% monthly fee.

You would think I would have broken up with this bank when they gobbled up (or were given) WaMu and I lost my job. I was seduced by their easy locations and thought our long term relationship mattered.

Remember those dumb Sterlings Savings commercials where the local yokels are on the phone with the big New York bank and shocked by what they hear... well FRICK. THAT'S ME RIGHT NOW.

I'M YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life Insurance

I had life insurance as an employee of the bank. As an independent consultant I'm on my own for this coverage. There is a tiny policy that would cover my elaborate and needlessly lavish funeral. The funeral would need to be special to help you with your unbearable pain. Right?

Anyway - I am in the process of purchasing a policy that will set Jason up should I be gone - not too much though, I don't want to give him any incentive to "off" me should he finally figure out that I'm not as cute or as funny as he thinks I am.

I'm going with a 20 year policy - which means the annual rate is fixed for the next 20 years. It's a reasonable rate, but at year 21 - if I want to continue the policy is jumps in price to almost $9,000 a year. I guess if you knew at 61 that your days were numbered it would be worth it... but yikes!

It feels strange to plan for an event that no one would want to see happen and still seems 100% impossible to me - but these are the grown up things we do.

TARP Bonus -continued

MWR -

Oh, I am worried... MegaBank made several payments that fall under this "disqualified" amount

1) the standard time for service (which wouldn't count)
2) a "transition payment" that is a matching salary payment from 10-1-2008 to the last day of service (counts)
3) a 2008 annual bonuses paid in January (maybe)
4) A pro-rated 2009 bonus. (most likely)

The Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) limit seems reasonable however, it is easily surpassed - due to the combined severance/transition/bonus monies/unused vacation/salary/new job and spouse's income.

We are consulting an accountant on May 11th.

I am aware that this bill is not yet final, but the outrage about the million $ bonuses is reasonable and I can't see the bill falling dead. But, I feel a bit targeted.

One of the things that gets me is that if I didn't get a job, the AIG limit would be so far out of reach that it would be a moot point. But I did, so that means I'll pay extra taxes (if the bill passes.) Might I be better off not working? That is the childish emotional response, of course it is better to work even if I end up paying an unfair amount of taxes on a portion of my annual income.

I know that it is insanity to air my financial situation for the world to see, but this situation is beyond unusual. These "bonuses" have been part of the financial industry compensation for the last 50 years. Does that mean it's 'right'? I don't know. Severance payments, retention bonuses, annual bonuses are all part of business; they are not localized to the failing financial industries. If payments that entice an employee to stick around and work even though they know they aren't wanted is wrong then ban them across the board. That means in the telecom industry, the manufacturing and any other big business.

These payments are a way of saying "We know you can get a job but we need you for a short period of time, stay and we'll make it worth your while." In my case it was to transition some regulatory items over, but for most of my peers it was to support critical services until they were eliminated. Everyone I knew on the transition team (except for me) was working twice as hard and with more challenges than they had been before the "sale." These folks could get work right away and several turned down offers to move on before their end date - thus making the incentive payment successful.

I did think it was odd to get a bonus for 2008 considering the fate of MegaBank - but they did cancel out 50% because of company performance. They had/have a formula for how bonuses are calculated - 50% based on employee performance and 50% on company performance. Folks who worked on the money side were paid far less if anything because their 'performance' was tied to sales and clearly when the market tanks you can't argue good performance. However, can you say that the folks who processed the back office activities with less staff, same or better up time, and less budget didn't perform well? I don't think so.

The other thing that comes to mind for me anyway, is that not all these companies are "AIG" - accepting billions and still not performing. The MoreMegaBank that the FDIC gave MegaBank to accepted some TARP monies, but it wasn't used to keep the company alive. (If these companies used the TARP monies inappropriately, then they should pay it back - not the silly technology employee.)

Anyway... the bill hasn't passed. I feel fortunate to be whining about this because I am aware that even though this may be the only time in my life that my income may even come close to this amount that I am doing very well financially. I'll pay off my debt and put the rest in the bank and hope that at the end of the year we can use is towards the purchase of a home.

In the mean time, I'll continue to write my congress persons.

The business of business

My crazy severance check came today. I was oddly nervous about opening it - which I can't really explain.

Jason and I have done some math regarding the distribution of the funds. We agreed early on to pay off my HELOC, that's bank speak for home equity line of credit, which now that the condo has sold (fingers crossed things are moving smoothly) we have to do anyway. But I'll also be clearing up two credit cards leaving me with just a car payment. The rest, will go into the bank until after the wedding.

I'm nervous that we'll be taxed to high heaven on a big chunk of it (thank you AIG) and that if it comes time to pay my unfair 90% tax rate on this money that I earned that we won't have it. So, a CD it will be for us. (To clarify, I do not mind at all paying the highest taxes required of everybody in my tax bracket...I mind being singled out in a way that hurts my family.)

I'm also opening my business checking account today. My accountant tells me that it's just easier to run the expenses through the business and deposit the consulting $$ into that account vs. mingling it into my regular checking. Seems like a reasonable bit of advice.

All of a sudden I feel like a grown up. "Accountant" "Taxes" "My Family" wow...

AIG Bonus Boondoggle

From the Seattle Times: President Barack Obama declared Monday that insurance giant American International Group is in financial straits because of "recklessness and greed" and said he intends to stop it from paying out millions in executive bonuses.

The $165 million was payable to executives by Sunday and was part of a larger total payout reportedly valued at $450 million. The company has benefited from more than $170 billion in a federal rescue.

AIG reported this month that it had lost $61.7 billion for the fourth quarter of last year, the largest corporate loss in history. The bulk of the payments at issue cover AIG Financial Products, the unit of the company that sold credit default swaps, the risky contracts that caused massive losses for the insurer.

I agree that it is reckless and irresponsible to pay bonuses when the company failed to make any money and has been basically on life support by the federal government (nee the American Taxpayer.) The trouble here is the compensation model in the financial industry. Annual bonuses are part of the compensation structure.

Typically an employee is paid a decent annual salary with a bonus target that is set based upon their seniority. (Sales bonuses are totally different - you sell you get a cut, you don't and you are paid accordingly.) These bonuses are paid to employees at almost every level, it isn't just the private bathroom type executives that expect to get a percentage of their salary each year as a 'bonus' the lowly Administrative Assistant has a bonus target as part of their comp. plan. Granted the Admin will have a much smaller target (5%) where I've seen targets up to 40%, and I'm SURE that there are higher bonuses paid at the super executive levels.

Year after year, if the company met certain targets, bonuses were paid at 100% of the target amount, and if an employee performed very well, bonuses could be paid at 120-130% of the target. (I call this HR math. You're eligible for $5,000 and some how you get paid $6,250.)

Employees believe that their annual salary is less than it would be if the bonuses weren't part of the picture. And, this is an industry issue, not an AIG issue. Until most of the financial services companies stop the "bonus" mentality only the companies that offer bonuses will retain their high talent.

I will say that the bonus thing was a nice perk and it was shocking to see that only the amount was adjusted due to our "situation". I confess that I didn't have the character to refuse the annual bonus this year. I felt somewhat entitled to something based on the horrific hit my stock portfolio took in light of the failure of the Goliath to survive their misadventures in lending. Does it make it right? No.

Should AIG pay bonuses out of federal monies? Absolutely not.

Are the people who will likely be hurt by the withholding of this payment directly responsible for the AIG fiasco? Probably not.

Will the entire industry change the way it compensates employees? It is doubtful.

Should the President intervene? That is a question for a much smarter blogger than me.

It is my guess that there are plenty of AIG employees who are only hanging out at AIG waiting for bonus payment day. Once the payments are made (or not) they will exercise their networks and move on. There was always an increased Exodus of talent after bonus day.

Swing Shift Data Processor

For the most part I am resigned to my impending job loss. I am trying to make the most of this temporary time of lesser responsibility at work and enjoying being home at the amazing hour of 4:15 every day.

I have the financial piece worked out and with 11 months of severance coming my way I am confident that the wedding and house purchase plan are completely within reason.

I have a potential job lined up and am excited by the prospect.

However, I am having stress dreams that wake me up at night and then I can't get back to sleep. Last night I dreamed (I want to say "dreamt" but clearly I can't spell it, or it isn't a word) that I turned in my laptop and blackberry and got my severance check for $1,000. I was trying to figure out how to pay my mortgage and got so twittered that I woke up.

Some stress is normal and thankfully I have the support of family and friends. I've been unemployed before and now have the benefit of more experience, superb references and a level of confidence in myself that I didn't have in 2001. I will be fine.. but damn it, why can't I stay asleep?