Week In Review April 8, 2008

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Happy New Year 2022 - more of the same

It's a new year, we're headed into year three of this pandemic - which is possibly here to stay.  A new normal is the hope.  It seems like every time we relax and think we've got it managed but not eradicated, but have learned to navigate the ins and outs things change again.

Our May 2020 Mexican cruise has been rescheduled twice and we put a final payment on the May 2022 Miami-Grand Cayman-Disney Private Island cruise.  But now, the Center for Disease control is once again saying "don't cruise".  We are in a holding pattern, but with few options - we can reschedule again, but haven't talked about that.  We can't cancel outright and get our money back.  We just have to see what the spring brings.  My hope is that things calm down and we can go.

The COVID-Omicron variant is spreading very easily and we thus far we haven't been infected. We are told that with the vaccines that if we get it the likelihood of needing hospitalization is reduced by 81%.  Ok...but I still don't want it.  Masks and distancing it is - and what will be.

Schools in some areas are back online, but the politicians in Washington made some requirements that came with the funding to schools that they would offer in person education to every student.  Um... you shouldn't politic with our kids lives but here we are.

On the other topic - vermin.  We were confident that we had the upper hand, but we found evidence (mouse pooh) in the pantry and under the kitchen sink.   

Yesterday, Jason and I removed all open food items (half eaten bags of chips, munchies, crackers) from the pantry, washed all the surfaces and gave it a good cleaning.   It feels pretty good in there now, but I will not be confident that we don't have a friend until the rodent people come back.

Mom is still in Arizona and while it's not the warm oasis she thought it was going to be she's having a good time.   I wonder how long she'll last; I think the joy of doing nothing is starting to wane.  She updated all of her passwords this week and put them in the password safe.   That's a tedious task which to me indicates a bit of boredom.  She has a new man friend at home, and they are talking everyday - my guess is when he comes to visit in February that that will be the end of this "wintering in Arizona" business.  However, I get the impression that her co-traveler won't be on the same timeline and Nancy needs mom to help navigate the trip back home.  So...time will tell.

It snowed here on Christmas day and we've had 10 days of cold weather.  It's been beautiful and a perfect time to have the roads challenging.  But, school was supposed to start back up yesterday, but the kids got an extra day off, and this morning was a two hour delay to allow the roads to thaw out a bit.  So far, it's still cold outside and I'm not confident that the two hours will do anything to improve the situation.

It's back to work for me today, so I'd better get to it.  I'm here at my desk ready to engage, but maybe I should actually do it.  

Crossing the lines

Sometimes the technology demands of others force you to change your ways.  

I admit that I'm the last person on earth that is still using the Blogger platform to share my witty and amazing view of the world.  I am on Facebook and use YouTube to house short videos of the kid doing kid-like things.

I have a Google+ account, but don't really see the value.

I "Twitter", but it feels a lot like standing on my back porch and yelling very short statements to the universe.

I do not rededit.  When I see screenshots of other people's discussions I wonder why...

I do not instagram.  I think the filtered pictures are nice, but if you want to see my pictures, come to the blog or facebook.

Today...in order to post something on a blog I admire, I had to sign up for Tumbler.  I don't know if I'll be spending loads of time over there, but we'll see.  

I linked this blog to that account to "expand" my audience.  We'll see about that.

In reviewing past blog posts it's clear that I use to be funny.  However, mostly my humor was bitching about other stuff.  There's not too much time these days for bitching, so I have turned into the dreaded "Mommy Blogger."'

Soon all posts will be about potty training, cheerios and Elmo.

FML.

My uncomfortable truth

I, like a lot of people are heartsick over the jury decision in the George Zimmerman trial.  It appears that Florida is the place to go to get away with what seems like straight up murder.  Perhaps George and Casey Anthony can laugh about it over a beer.

The law is a complex thing but to me the "stand your ground" rule in Florida is flawed.  It says you can do anything to someone to taunt them, and then when they react you can get scared for your life and then kill them.   Stand your ground seems to mean that the clock doesn't start ticking legally until you say you're afraid, regardless of what you did to provoke the situation. That doesn't seem right to me.

I wonder if that means that Trayvon would have been acquitted if he HAD killed Zimmerman?  I mean, he was being followed and felt threatened, clearly for his life.    I doubt that the wheels of justice would have rolled his way had the night gone a different direction.

I will admit that I am not immune to profiling people.  I do it all day.

• Moms - safe
• Grandpas with kids - safe.
• Teenagers - kinda scary  
• Dirty homeless guy - unknown, walk wide 
• Salespeople at Starbucks - friendly 
• Counter lady at the Post Office - scary
• Loud, raucous group of people waiting for bus on 2nd & Pike - scary, avoid interaction
• Person in business suit waiting for bus on 2rd & Pike, not scary, but avoid interaction unless necessary.
• Person in a hoodie on a dark rainy night - unknown, avoid interaction
• Two 20 year olds on my door step in blue pants and white shirts - Mormons, be nice but so away.
• The dudes selling 'steak' door to door - potential robbers, be firm, take picture of car as they leave.
• The woman selling magazines door to door for points to help inner city kids - be nice, but no.
• Chris Brown - scary, entitled punk, thug
• Justin Beiber - scary, entitled punk, wannabe thug

Anyone who thinks that we will be a racially, socially blind society is crazy.  What we can be is aware of the preconceived notions we have about each other and try to be better.  I think it will be hard to be an urban black young man for many years longer than any of us are comfortable with.   But let's be honest, the inner city lawless thug is a person, he is not at all representational of all young black men, but he is real, and one that is glorified by movies, tv and music, and I find him a bit scary.  I may be a racist for having a category for the angry kid with a gun, but so be it.  I certainly don't think or place every young person of color into that category and the ones that do go there aren't all black.

I know people judge me too, I'm a middle aged white lady who drives a 2 year old around in a white mini-van.  I'm harmless right?  But, maybe you see an entitled, racist, elitist snob. I couldn't have anything in common or care about anyone who doesn't live on my block or drive my kind of car.  Surely not.

Profiling happens everywhere and all the time.  In the business world we meet people from all over the globe and interact on a common theme, but we've already created a false society because only the educated and smart people (and for some reason me) are invited to the workplace.   It's a racially diverse group and race isn't an issue, but it is not a socioeconomically diverse group, it is a whole bunch of "haves" and ramen eating future-haves.

"Lucky" for most of us, we get to point fingers at Florida and call them backwards as if it has nothing to do with us.  But, like many other things that are wrong, we owe it to ourselves to let them know we don't support their backwards ways.  Put the pressure on with your wallet, your vacation money and tell the businesses that operate in Florida that the laws are unacceptable.  Sure, Disney doesn't make laws in Florida, but they have influence and by not participating in socially right causes, they are implying approval.

Boycotting companies like Disney isn't my point, but an example of how 'we' can influence 'them'.   We have to do something.  Sitting around saying "shame on them" but not acting or speaking out is doing nothing.

I feel terribly for Trayvon's mom and dad.  I pray that they know that complete strangers care about their pain and that gives them some comfort.

I miss you too!

The full time job thing, the mom thing, the wife thing and the trying to be a good person thing sure gets in the way of having time to humorously snark about life on this blog.   I do miss it and there are moments when I think, oh I wish I could capture that moment and blog about it.  Here's the summary of happenings:

Our 2 year old is acting her age.  She is happy in the morning, likes to come into our room and snuggle before we get moving.  She prefers to hang with me but will give Jason some loving and if I'm not home he is perfectly perfect to cozy up to while she wakes up.  I think it's sweet that she will nestle in close to my side and root around to find my arm and make sure that I'm hugging her.  It is less sweet that she doesn't let Jason cozy in.  I mean, if his hand wanders over to give either of us a loving pat on the arm, she takes his hand and pushes it away.  He does a pretty good job of not getting his feelings hurt and I remind her that he was my boyfriend first.   She also has to endure kisses between mom & dad.  (Nothing X rated, but I think it's important that she sees that Mommy loves Daddy too.)

Getting dressed for school is usually a mini-battle.  I can see that she doesn't want to go to school, but once we're on our way she's happy as a lark.  She likes her friends, she likes the art activities and when they get to play outside (which is any day that it isn't raining) she comes home super tired.  Now that she's two she's allowed to go over onto the big play equipment and I know she's digging that.

When she's super tired after school it is a challenge to get through dinner.  She likes to pull up her step-stool and hang out in the kitchen while we cook.  I let her "help" and that can be as easy as her directing where to put the bowls and which egg to crack or counting (to two) the number it items we'll be using.  Sometimes she gets her own bowls and a few fish crackers to sort while I do chopping.   When it comes time to use the stove we use the power of two parents to divide and conquer.  One parent goes with Shorty to her play kitchen while the other messes with the real kitchen.

Dinners are hit and miss.  Sometimes she eats and sits at the table like a champ, and others she's too busy, tired or bored to play nice.  When we make a real dinner, she eats what we eat and other dinner options aren't offered.  However, like last night where she made a wonderful dent in her chicken stir fry she was offered a yogurt.  I know she wont starve to death on the nights where she doesn't eat, but I'm happier when she eats.

We are in a state of constant motion from the moment she comes in the door until she's in bed.  Thankfully, that is still pretty early. Eight p.m. is the magic moment of her door closing and we get to high five each other and go do adult things.  Last night, "adult things" was to really clean the kitchen floor and then watch Survivor.  I know, I know, too much sexy.

In other parts of our life, we have some friends who are going through a terrible trauma.  Our job is really to be supportive.  A group of gals took a day to go see them (they are in an out of town hospital) and it was an experience I'll probably remember my whole life.  I tend to hide in my cave when things are really bad and I find it hard to allow people, even those I care about and trust into that vulnerable space.  Well, my friend is in that cave and she generously opened up and let us in.  We all walked away feeling hung over and emotionally spent, but I hoped that we were sponges and wicked some of her pain, anger, hurt, fear, disappointment, and every other emotion she's going through.  I know that the four of us can't possibly take all of it away, but maybe for that day it lightened her load a bit.   Also, I think that being a part of the beginning of this journey she's on will help smooth the way to be able to support her in the long run.  Instead of being filled with "oh what should I say, what should I do?"  Now I know what she wants and it is something I absolutely have to give.  How strange is it that the simple answer to the question of what to do for people in pain is: "love me like you did before."

Part of our visit involved getting her into a safe space where she could say all the things you're not supposed to say when going through something really hard.  I think if you're in the midst of hell you get to say what you want about your own fears, pain, anger or whatever and your people are required to let it bounce off.   I do think it's important to know when this 'say what you need to' is appropriate. It was clear to me that I had no advice to give, all I had was a kind ear and the occasional agreement that some of the "go to" things that people say to be helpful simply aren't. Things like:

1) God has a plan.
2) God won't give you more than you can handle.
3) Doctors can be wrong, everything will be just fine.
4) Don't give up hope.
5) Have you tried to do XXXX?

1& 2: The God business is rough.  I believe in God, albeit not in the ghostly white ball of light way, but in the there can be beauty in all things way.  I don't think God takes time to decide when we're going to get cancer or hit by a drunk driver or die of old age.  I think God is in the people who come to our aid and comfort us in those dark times.  God is part of the "I guess I'll take one more step" spunk that some of us pull from nowhere.   I call it God, you may call it something else and that's fine.  But, damn it, don't use God to explain away the dark, terrible things that happen.  These things are part of life and we will all go through death in one way or another.  Sure, we may grow from these experiences and be a different person or maybe even happy on the other side, but pick your moment to talk about God when dealing with folks who have to remember to breathe from second to second.  With that said, please pray like crazy for your friends if that's your thing.  They may not believe in it, but if you do - send those good intentions into the world.  It can't hurt.

3: Doctors can be wrong.  Indeed, but you my friend are not  a doctor.  If a diagnosis is from a real, honest to betsy, knows how to bill insurance doctor, then shaddup about the Neurosurgeon being wrong.  Chances are, by the time your friend tells you what the doctor has said they've seen a couple doctors.

4: Don't give up hope.  This seems harmless, but to some folks, hope is risky.  Hope can open you up to more pain.  Again, this is all about knowing your audience.  For some, expecting the worst is a way of protecting their hearts.  My friend said this exact thing, and I told her that I would do the hoping for her.  Someone needs to hope and if you don't have it, I'll do it!

5: Have you tried XXX?  See #3.  All experiences are different and the all fruit diet that Aunt Mertha used to clear up her pancreatic cancer may not be the best option for me.  One of the things that I think is the most scary about dealing with something like cancer is that there isn't a map.  First you'll go here for 3 weeks, then here for 2 months, then we'll do this.  It's pretty much different for each person.  If you have a good doctor referral, give it up.  Other than that just, listen listen listen then listen some more.

In the end, even those folks who say the wrong thing (often that's me) only mean well and are trying their best.  It's important to remember that when reacting to the oddball things that are said.  Now, if someone suggests that it is your own fault that terrible thing X happened to you, you're allowed to pop them in the nose.  Clarification:  if you're about to get a Darwin Award then it may be your own fault and hold the nose popping for further analysis.

So, I'm filled with perspective this week.  I'm over the moon happy with my life these days and yet that real world stuff oozes in.  I suppose this is real life.  Oh how I'd like to punch it in the throat every now and then.

2012 - in review, it's not all about the baby.

It seems like time just flies by... Summer turns into fall and we do up the house for Halloween, then Thanksgiving is followed by a whole month of Christmas activities.  We take a deep breath in early January to really clean the house, but pause to celebrate Jason's birthday at month end. Valentine's day gets a nice nod, mostly good cards and a great dinner, and now we celebrate Lucy's birthday on March 1st.    Early spring is my least favorite time of year, the weather isn't great, it's wet, Jason gets a nasty case of seasonal allergies and is a mess for months.  Somewhere in May there is a glorious weekend and all the Northwesterners wig out and proclaim to the world how wonderful it is to live here.   Then it is gloomy until the 5th of July when summer really arrives.  Soon, it is fall and time to dig out the pumpkins again.

There is a lot more to our year than that - this was a big one:

Snow storms
A 1st birthday for a certain kid
Someone learned how to walk
New words are entering our vocabulary all the time
Camping
Trips to Denver
Both grandmas had hand issues and casts
It was election year, so we got to watch lots and lots of super uplifting tv ads.
I did some laundry, and then I did it again.
We spent a lot of energy on our kitchen and love the outcome.
Jas & I went to Maui and had a wonderful time.
We dined in the back yard during our short but lovely summer.
I did some more laundry.
I did NOT stain the fence... next year for sure.


Blah blah blah... where are the funny, sarcastic posts of yore?  I am extremely happy and the areas that I'm not so thrilled about don't seem ok to blog about on a continual basis.  I'm still struggling with the loss of my friend but my walls are up and other than polite invitations to larger events I'm not of the mind to extend the olive branch.  A colleague of mine was saying how her 10 year old daughter is going through big dramas at school.  "Betsy's" best friend broke up with her and it played out like a boyfriend/girlfriend break up.  "Mom" was expressing how silly it all felt, but that it resulted in days of histrionics until they "got back together".   I can see where kids - young girls especially would act out the break up process with flair.  I can also empathize that when you're the one who gets dumped it hurts.

I feel a little like "Betsy" in that this loss of friendship has been like a breakup, but without the benefit of a big dramatic fight.  I'm aware that the fact that we haven't spoken in person or made any attempts to sit down are by my choice and I obviously must be ok with that or I would do something about it.  I do wonder from time to time if she even cares.  And then I wonder, why does it matter if she cares?  Girls are complicated beings even at 44.

I suppose the reason I'm STILL talking about this is that I miss her.  But missing someone and willing to spend time with someone who thinks so little of you are two different things.  I'm insecure about a lot of things, but not so much that I'll take any form of friendship that I can wick off someone.

Insecurity is a funny thing - it feeds on itself.  When the 'breakup' thing starts swirling in my head I start making a list of my faults and there are a few, and then I move onto the people whom I really cared about who no longer are in my life.  The one thing they all have in common - me and they are no longer here, so clearly the issue must be me.

I KNOW, I KNOW...lives change and people move on, it is not a sign that there is something terribly wrong with ME, but when you only look at it from the perspective of those who choose not to participate in my life anymore it's hard to not focus on my part of that equation.

The truly deep dark secret about all this is that I worry that someday my most important person, Mr. TP gal will find reason to leave as well.  This is totally and completely irrational. Similarly when he runs an errand and takes longer coming home than you would expect I start worrying about car wrecks and other dreadful things.  We put a lot of purposeful effort into our little union - we both want to be here and even during those times when we're too busy or tired to connect we acknowledge it.  The Oprah Inner Dialog tells me to turn those feelings of 'fear' into action to continue to put effort into our marriage and to silence the insecurity gremlins.

OID also says to make a list of one thing each day for which you are grateful.  I'm pretty sure I won't be posting one each day for the entire year (as you say 'whew') but today, I'm grateful for those warm snuggle moments in the morning when Lucy joins us before we get out of bed and start our day.  She gets cozy while she wakes up and likes to be 'in the nook'.  She will take my arm and tug it into place so she's got a good 'mommy hug' and that is a wonderful thing.  It is not so nice when she pushes Jason's hand away because he's moving in on her territory.  That poor little girl is in for a hard lesson when she finally figures out that he was here first and he is staying and we're going to eventually ask HER to move out of the house.   He says that when I'm gone for work she is equally loving and cuddly with him, but it's clear that he's #2 on the cuddle hierarchy.

Thanks for dropping by.

The Lord's Prayer

I'm going to get spiritual.  Calm yourselves.

The Lord's Prayer is something that as a kid I worked hard to memorize.  I didn't do it because it was important to my faith or because I understood the meaning I did it because I felt awkward  not knowing the words and I felt that if I had it memorized that I would fit in better.  Oh the mind of a kid in 6th grade.

I was well into my adulthood when the meaning of the story of the last supper and the Lord's Prayer finally clicked for me.  Hold the phone... Jesus was a real person (unlike Santa) and these are words that came out of his mouth.  Whoa.   I'm pretty sure this was my exact thought.  Granted, Jesus likely didn't speak English and thus what we have today is a translation.  Regardless, when I think about that it really says, for me it holds some very powerful concepts.

I've often thought that if I was ever to write a book it would be a book for kids explaining what the Lord's Prayer means.  The thing that holds me back other than time is that I don't think of myself as qualified to comment or interpret something to integral to the Christian community.  I mean, who am I but a sarcastic gal with a biting sense of humor?   Who knows, I might do it anyway and run it by my liturgical friends.

The thing about The Lord's Prayer (TLP)  for me is that the meaning of it hits home in different ways.  At first it was the idea that it is a connection between Jesus and my modern world in the same way that when I read a passage from Shakespeare I find it amazing that those actual words were spoken 400 years ago by far better people than me.  It may sound silly, but saying TLP and forming the same words is connective for me.

I find that aspect of it interesting because while I am attracted to the Jesus story, my spirituality is with God and not a specific person in the Bible.  I always thought that the attention given to the Mary's by the Catholic faith was odd, but the Lutheran's and Presbyterians do the same thing with Jesus.  I guess we need the actual people to relate to instead of a "dude on a cloud". Anywho, just a tangent.

Life is happening all around us.  There is joy, there is sorrow, there is excitement and boredom.  Life goes on and on and on.  There are times when passages of TLP don't mean anything, and others when they speak to me deeply.

Over the course of the last year the line "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others" struck me as really appropriate.  I've lost a friend and the forgivenessneeded in that scenario is layered.  I need to forgive her for her opinion of me.  I need to forgive myself for my part in the death of our friendship.  I need to know that the transformation of our friendship from an active part of my life to someone whom I read about on Facebook is how life works and that is ok.  I mourn it but I forgive the hurt I feel.  (Pretty sure Jesus doesn't care about Facebook - but you get my meaning.)

Today, that same line spoke to me differently.  Forgiveness.  I send out prayers of forgiveness for the families  in Connecticut who I can't imagine how they are functioning.  I pray that they are able to find forgiveness and that it helps heal their sorrow.  I don't mean straight up "no harm no foul" type forgiveness, but I hope in time they are able to let go of any anger or hate this terrible event has brought to them.  I pray that the next person who is out in our world who is contemplating a similar act can find forgiveness and it eases whatever is driving them towards a dark act.

I also see for the first time that the line 'thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven" isn't a statement that our earthly place is so great and amazing, but a plea for a change in our world.  It's an acknowledgement that life is rough and influenced by more than this omnipotent and benevolent being.  It isn't God's will that this young man took the lives of these people - I don't believe that God was anywhere in that act. This line implies our hope that "God's will" is peaceful and good and wishing for that in our real live world.

I do pray for those families.  I pray that they are able to heal in a way that I don't think I could.  I hope they have people who will help pick them up and that the learn how to live in this new world. I hope we never see this type of event again (but accept that it likely will.)

I pray/hope (it is the same thing for me) that we learn something and that the people who use this terrible event to further their own agenda know how much they are hurting us.

I hope that even if you aren't a spiritual person that you are able to find comfort and peace in your own way throughout these terrible events.

The Mommy Koolaid

Hi, my name is Terri and I'm a mommy-aholic.

I can no longer fool myself into thinking I'm a balanced person anymore.  I post stories to Facebook about my kid, I take pictures of Lego creations she has made with my husband and I even posted a picture of her on this blog in a diaper.  Sure it was an Instagram photo so it looked vintage, but still it was nothing more than a kid in a diaper and rain-boots standing by a Christmas tree.

I follow a blog called "STFU Parents"* and it is a place for all people to post online parent fouls.  Things like when someone posts a "Remembering D-Day, thanks for your service." on their Facebook page and some clueless mom adds her own comment like "Oh yes, it was a great day when Dylan was born."  Uh... D-Day - not about your kid!

Or, when someone posts that they are super tired because they have been working really hard, some mommy will add "Try doing that with four kids at home."  Hey lady, just because parenting can be an energy sucking vortex doesn't mean you have the market on all 'tired' or 'busy' situations.  

I find the site amusing and a bit of a touchstone.  I am relieved to see that I am not guilty of many of the parental offenses in the public social world  but I give myself licence to perpetrate all sorts of parental over-sharing in this forum. 

The diaper picture however made me stop and think about my attitude and judgement.  I am aware that a certain fog of brain damage occurs when you become a parent.  Brain damage like secretly thinking that other people's children are nice, but your own are PERFECT.   It also includes thinking that taking the picture of her with poop on her hands or spaghetti all over her head is funny.  For the record, your children are also perfect and I have not photographed poop.  Spaghetti head - guilty.  I have the parental brain damage.  There I said it.

Before my own child came into our world if you asked me what the words that came to mind when I saw a kid running around wearing just a diaper and I was being honest my own social prejudices would spew out of me in an ugly way:  Trashy, Unkempt, Welfare, Bad parenting, Child Neglect Trailer park, Spaghetti-O's  (ooh, the honesty... it hurts me.)

I have a child who is well cared for, clean fed and we are attentive. She lives in a nice place, she can pay her rent (with assistance from the tall people) and she also likes to be NAKED.  At the end of the day her parents like to change out of their day clothes into what we call "squishy pants" - essentially pj bottoms, good cozy socks and tops.  Lucy likes to rid herself of her glitter and water based finger paint stained shirts and toddler jeans and be free.  There isn't much difference between squishy pants and a clean diaper.   I apologize for any judgement I may have passed on random naked toddlers.  I have been informed by a specific toddler that there are times when she will flat out do what she wants.

We are able for the most part to keep her clothed when other people are around and when we're out in public.  However, there was nakedness at Thanksgiving.  I can see where she might have felt comfortable.  After dinner there was a palpable vibe of "oh, I wish I wasn't wearing these tight pants" going on in every corner of the house.  Lucky Lucy, she was able to pull off her dress and be done with it.  I bet Uncle Marty was a bit envious.  Thankfully, he doesn't wear a diaper so the pants stay on.  WHEW.

I will keep monitoring STFU Parents to keep my public parenting infractions to a dull roar but if you see them know that I AM holding back way more than I post.

Speaking of things I wanted to share:  

Last night we sang "Old MacDonald" in the bathtub.  Her 'EIEIOooo" makes up for the fit she threw in Target.  Well, not totally, but I forgave her for my having to carry her out of the store while she screamed and tried to get away.  These battles are rough, but she will learn that safety things are NOT negotiable.   I was thankful to receive thumbs up and nods of encouragement from other parents as I manhandled her out of the store.  Funny how a "you can do it" or "it'll pass" from a total stranger with calm kids in tow helps.

I drank the mommy koolaid, but thus far I'm not posting pictures of her 'art' to Pinterest... yet.

*STFU means "Shut the f*ck up"

Memo to car salesman

MEMORANDUM

TO: Car Salesmen Everywhere
FROM: tpgal
RE: Back Off

This memo is to inform you that it is no longer 1950.  When you sell a car to a couple you are selling it to both parties and you must not assume the woman is a feeble minded moron who needs your assistance understanding how to operate the vehicle.

You should also know that when you call to follow up and the client tells you that they are in the car, with their wife and that they are using the bluetooth hands-free telephone feature that EVERYONE IN THE CAR CAN HEAR YOU.  When you offer your assistance to Mrs. L to answer any questions she may have about  the car, Mrs. L can HEAR YOU.

Please also know that it is not necessary to offer that assistance again in a hand written letter that you mail one week after the purchase, nor is it required to leave lengthy phone messages on the home phone.  You can stop emailing and calling.  WE UNDERSTAND HOW TO USE THE CAR.

I am providing you fair and legal warning that if you show up on my doorstep to offer to show me how to use the car I will take a rake from my garage and use it to impale you in my garden.  You will be a scarecrow for all door to door solicitors for the entire holiday season.    You may even be adorned for the various holidays.

It may have seemed like we were from another era, or that I am dim witted because on the day we bought the car we split the duties.  Jason went to the 'car store' and endured the first two and a half hours of negotiations on his own and I showed up with the baby for the last hour.  Trust me, we did it this way because we are smart.  I came as the relief pitcher at the end to close the deal.  I understood the terms and the complicated math.

I have had less contact with the pediatrician after the birth of my child than I have had with this "nice" salesperson.  Trust me, a baby is far more complicated to operate than a hybrid car.

You got your commission, now get out of our lives.

If I ran the presidential election...

At one point in my house cage fighting idea was also suggested but it would be hard to turn it into an intellectual discussion.  We thought it would also be really unfair. If we put Hillary C. and Sarah P. in a cage and asked them to duke it out, Sarah clearly would have the advantage - she's scrappy.  But, if you could work in an intellectual angle she'd be outmatched and you might have to give her a weapon to even things out.  It doesn't sound very dignified.

I'll chew you up!

I'm pretty

It's interesting to hear the from the smart people in my life their different perspectives on the national presidential convention speeches.  The majority of my west coast people are leaning left and were inspired by Mr. Clinton's speech last night.  My middle of the country people aren't moved at all and are expressing that they feel like the current president has been bad for our country.    I've heard sound bites from both conventions that set my hair on fire, but haven't been able to watch much of either show.

To me the conventions are a colossal waste of money - what is the point?  The skeptical side of me thinks that the DNC and the RNC leaders have made their decisions as to who would represent "their" party in private sessions and the convention is for show.  I'm sure it energizes the delegates who get to attend, but isn't that like throwing a Christmas party for your close friends and expecting the Muslim neighbors down the street to convert to Christianity?

I'm going to suggest a different solution.  I want to know what these candidates actually think and I don't think we will ever know as long as they are able to consult with their political advisers, and are 'on topic' with whatever the message of the day is today, (i.e. Romney is out of touch with regular (non-rich) Americans, Obama is bad for the economy.)  To keep the rhetoric down I propose that we lock both candidates into a separate small box for the period of one month.  They may eat and read classic literature (the same offerings to both dudes) but they may not tweet, facebook, teleconference, consult or communicate with anyone. On day 30, we will unlock the box, let them shave and then bring them to a stage with two sound proof booths where they will be asked the same questions and allowed to answer but without the benefit of hearing the other person's answer.

Another idea is a CBS Survivor style show that places the candidates on a deserted island and they have to duke it out for the right to be the next most hated person in our country - er, the President.  However, this plan needs some tweaking.  Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should the candidates be allowed to wear standard bathing suits.  They should be in the Lucy swimsuits.  They cover all manner of bumps and lumps and would prevent nip-slips or having to view the accidental crack exposure.  The weekly challenges could be working out how to pay for day care and car repairs for a family of 4 on minimum wage or explaining a standard insurance bill, or explaining so idiots like me could understand it how "futures" work. Frankly, I don't know why anyone would want to be POTUS.  As soon as you win, you are instantly to blame for everything and people lose their memories as to who initiated which policies that are under fire.  Is Obama the reason you don't have a job, or is it Bush, or Clinton, or Bush, or Reagan or Carter or Nixon, or Adams, or Jefferson...

Election season makes me crazy.  It is hard to get real information that isn't muddled by opinions and then there's the terrible fact that neither candidate is PERFECTLY Perfect nor are they EVIL.  It's not like we're choosing between Darth Vader and Jesus Christ.    Although... that would be a very interesting cage fight.

That isn't the real Jesus.

What's going on with you?

I had a lengthy conversation with a dear friend last night with whom I don't get to talk to as often as I'd like.  I have campaigned pretty hard to get her to move her family into our neighborhood so we can have dinner together on any night that the dinner pot is overly full.  My efforts continue to fail and I have to take comfort in the instantaneous connection we have when we to make time for girl talk.

She had a grown-up issue to discuss, which I'm happy to a) keep to myself and b) be a sounding board.    I forget myself and offer my opinion (apparently) a lot more than people want and it is nice to be asked as it good to know I'm not the "you know what you should do.." lady.  (in your head that should have sounded nasally.)

Anyway, she asked me "what's going on with you?" and my initial reaction was to say 'nothing'.  After all, we had finished dinner, the baby was in bed and we were watching America Thinks It Can Dance or some crazy thing like that.  Jason is very entertained by those shows and I do love to hear his belly laugh, but I think some of the contestants are truly mentally 'off' and feel like it's wrong to laugh openly at them.  I much prefer to laugh behind their back...wait, that's not what I meant to say.

Actually, there are a lot of things brewing in TP land.

We re-jiggered our world in order to pay off our house in fifteen years.  There are many things about this that are pleasing, the primary one is that we'll have the house free and clear before we're 60 and before the Peanut heads to college.  The impact to our disposable income rather sucks, but it will only really bite until Lucy gets into real school.  Well, unless we go the private school route.  I kind of hope we don't but, I don't know enough yet to make a blanket statement like "oh it won't happen."

The other big news on the house front is that we are going to deal with our kitchen counters.  Our builder installed nice-ish granite-ish, tiles in the kitchen.  From a distance they are very pretty but the grout situation is bad. We've only been here about 3 years and the grout at the sink already needs to be dug out and replaced.  Because we don't love the color or style we're going to invest in a re-do.  We've saved up some money and have obtained three bids and have made a decision.  We meet with the back splash tile lady this Friday and we should have some kind of a timeline soon.

The bid process was all over the board.  One guy came out, measured told us all the things he COULD do and then emailed his bid to us seven days later.   The other guy, from the neighborhood place that specializes in kitchen re-models, came out, measured and then finally CALLED me with some figures 10 days later, after I called twice to get the bid.  The third person came out, measured, drew up a version of our kitchen and then emailed us the bid before he was in his car.

Thankfully, not only was the fast bid guy the lowest, but the bid included details such as a line item to repair the drywall if the removal of the builder installed tiles damages the wall.  If they don't have to do it, the price goes down.  NICE.  We stopped off at their showroom and picked some samples and now we're on our way.  It is supposed to be a simple job that they say they can do in 3-4 business days.  Ideally, we'll start work on a Monday so we can avoid being without a kitchen on a weekend.  I can do 3-4 days of microwave cooking for Lucy (dinners only) but a whole weekend would seriously suck.  We'll see how long it really takes.

In other news, I've arranged for a babysitter to come TWICE in June so Jason and I can go out and mingle with the other adults without the Peanut.  She is fun, but it's just not the same as a regular date night.

Other than that, I'm feeling a little off kilter.  I'm being especially over sensitive this week to silly things that don't normally bother me.  I'm taking innocent jokes very personally and obsessing about small nuances of conversations.  My brain tells me that this is very likely related to that certain time of the month, but the emotional little crybaby doesn't like that rationalization.  However, when I look at the calendar, the timing is right.  Sigh... stupid hormones.  They shouldn't make you mentally ill.

We're off to celebrate dad's birthday this weekend.  By celebrate we mean, driving over, providing free computer support and grilling meat.  Well, we found out yesterday that the new bbq is still in a box.  Jason loves a puzzle and will happily put it together, but his 'honey do' list is pretty long this weekend and I can't really help because of that whole - keep the baby alive thing.   Thankfully, the weather is supposed to be lovely (over there) and we're bringing the sprinkler to keep our girl (and her mom) busy.

The joys of mommyhood

For the most part, this parenting thing is very rewarding. It ticks all the boxes for "you get way more than you give". When Lucy sees me for the first time in a while, be it first thing in the morning, coming home from day care, or when I come downstairs after a moment in the loo, she lights up and either reaches for me or now that she can, runs to me. The "I'm the greatest thing in the whole world" meter ticks pretty high at those times. Sure, it's a bit narcissistic, I'm aware that a dog who is beat frequently will continue to love and adore his master, but this isn't the same kind of relationship. I seldom make Lucy sleep outside or beat her with a stick. She gets all the fresh water she wants and a 1/2 cup of crunchy food in the morning. She's a happy girl.

I wont fall!

Actually, there are numerous things she does that are adorable and bring me joy. Small things such as when she's done with her milk it is important that she (and only she) put the lid to the bottle back on. She does NOT want help. She has embraced the art of 'kissing' and while she blows kisses to all the teachers and classmates at school, she saves the special kisses for Mommy and Daddy. These kisses are mouth kisses, but she leans in with her mouth open and makes contact while saying "aahhhh". We are working on teaching her to kiss with her mouth closed, but every now and then it is my treat to take a milky, open mouthed kiss from my little peanut. She dances, but doesn't shake her booty just yet. Thus far, when the music moves her it is a head shaking and arm twisting joy. I think the booty moving will come when she's more solid on her feet. Speaking of... as she's zipping around the house on her two feet there are times when her center of gravity gets out of alignment and she will make every wild move to avoid falling over. Every now and then we catch her in a I'm-not-falling-off-this-balance-beam arm flail that makes us giggle.

Her love affair with the stairs is waning, but that just means we have to be on high alert. Our original idea of keeping she play world limited to the kitchen/family room area was not an achievable (dare I say a delusional) idea, Lucy is everywhere in the downstairs and we spend our weekends and evenings in a constant two person parade around the house. We take turns with her while the other parent does fun things like make food, clean up food, and other life chores. Laundry happens during the week while Jason & Lucy are away. That perk is reason enough for me not to change jobs. I can see how people who work outside the home and have one or more little people have piles of laundry in various stages of completeness.
Lucy's other 'cute' trick these days is a fascination with any gadget with buttons. The little cd/radio player in her room is an amazing toy. This little 7 inch square cube has no less than 20 buttons that she can click, click, click. This morning she somehow set a snooze alarm that nearly caused my heart to stop when it finally went off. The alarm was so loud that it sounded like the walls were shaking. I know someday she will set the thing to go off at three in the morning and we'll go crazy trying to figure out what it is. As buttoned items go, the tv remote use to be the #1 coveted toy, but the iPhone is now the top 'want!'. This brings me to the ugly truth about parenting.

Kids are jerks.


I didn't make that up, Christopher Walken said it in his interpretation of the classic story "Where the Wild Things Are." He also said 'kids like George Wendt', but that didn't resonate with me as much as the declaration that 'kids are jerks.'

Lucy expresses her jerkiness in lots of special ways. Her inability to cope when things don't go her way is a small sign of this fact. I will do something horrible such as not give her the phone, not let her walk in the middle of the street or change her diaper after she's made a 'boom boom' (that's grandpa's term) and she will hop up and down, cry, with actual tears and hit a pitch with her voice that moves the water in my inner ear to the point that I'll have to lay down to get my balance back. Other tricks include slapping, and the oh so cute body flop and kick. I've read that all kids go through this and we are working on "identifying our feelings" so that when she CAN talk she can calmly say "damn it mama, I want the remote or I'm going to feel angry." We are very much working on making it clear that slapping and grabbing are not ok, but unlike a four year old these are lessons (for Jas & I) in being consistent, firm and calm.

She's not a possessed child (all the time.) We have figured out that most often when she's acting up something else is wrong, and it usually can be remedied with sleep. However, those moments of wickedness on her part wear on a person. I can see where parents with out other coping skills (aka GIN) can forget themselves and respond to the toddler temper tantrum in like fashion. I'm aware that these frustrations will lighten up and then be replaced by some other trauma like having to eat peas when pizza is wanted. The naming of feelings feels a little bit like parental mumbo jumbo, but when she's able to express the difference between mad, scared and hurt it will make calming down a bit easier.

The things that Lucy wigs out about seem to change daily, but then so does her world. This morning she was pissed that I wouldn't give her my coffee cup, but then she also explored the upstairs bedroom, closet, bathroom loop on her own for the first time. (This reminds me honey, we MUST put the cupboard door safety locks on the cabinet in the laundry room this weekend. She doesn't know those cabinets are there yet, but she'll find them and all the cleaning stuff is in there.) We were able to do our morning routine with her doing laps. Well, my modified morning routine anyway. I use to shower in the morning and do my hair - now, i shower at night and if I'm lucky I get to wet my head down to do my hair, but more often than not...ponytail. I can see why after having three hundred children Kate Gosselin opted to chop of the ponytail to save herself some time in the morning.

Sure it looks stupid, but it's not a mommytail!

Back to our story,  every day is something new and the 'good crap, she's a jerk' moments are fewer than the 'oh, I have the sweetest baby in the whole world' moments.  Both are probably a slight exaggeration.  Also, I've met some of your children and they are also sweet angels who are above acting up because you don't happen to have seedless jam on hand, so don't go all crazy on me any say that I'm disparaging YOUR child.  I'm only speaking a truth that few parents will admit.  It is a GOOD thing we love these little beasts because there are times when a kennel could come in handy.

Weekend Recap

I did win money in the huge Mega Millions lottery.  I scanned my ticket this morning and the report came up that I'm a $2.00 winner.  I told Jason and he asked for $1.  As Washington is a community property state, I guess I have no choice but to share. It kills me to give up half of my winnings, but honestly, he's worth it.

My Smart GuyFriday, we got word that Jason passed his certification exam for the new technology platform he attended training on.  There were six people in his class and of the five that took the test earlier, only one passed.  He had to wait a week to take his exam (due to some crisis at work) and the results from his co-workers was making him nervous.   He applied that energy into studying and taking the practice tests and not only did he pass, but he did so with a very good score.  Way to go!

Happy Anniversary
Saturday, we strapped the kid into the safety seat and drove to Shelton to attend the 50th Wedding Anniversary party for some old friends. . Shelton is a small, logging town about 30 minutes outside of Olympia, and it's kind of on the way to the strange land where the Twilight Vampires live.  I did expect sparkly people to pop out of the woods from time to time.

The party was nice, but other than the happy couple we didn't know anyone.  There were people there that knew my parents, but the host was bad at introductions and would introduce us at "Art's daughter" but didn't offer the other persons name.  I did have a conversation with a gal who went to high school with my dad and his sister, but it was a short conversation.

Also, while sitting on the couch I found pin in the cushion.  Clearly, the lady or lord of the house is a sewer and crafts on the couch.  From that moment on my comfort level for letting Lucy roam on the furniture dropped to zero.  I'm sure I looked like a crazy person patting the furniture and picking at the cushions, but I couldn't get the memory of all the pins that would be everywhere in Aunt Evelyns furniture. on her floor, or when she'd leave my house after a visit.  She was not baby compatible.

The groom, Mike seemed smaller than I remember.  Granted I was wearing tall shoes, but for the first time ever he sort of felt old.  He seemed pleased to see us and I'm glad we went.  I had forgotten how he calls his wife "Mother".  Listen up boys, referring to your wife as Mother is creepy and wrong.  Jason calls me "mama" from time to time, but he does it when he's speaking on behalf of Lucy.  "Mama, can you get me a clean pair of pants?"  It is not "Mama, where would you like to have dinner tonight?" or "Mama, wanna make out?"  ICK

We stayed at the party for about an hour and then used Lucy as an excuse to move on home.  We decided not to backtrack and drove up the peninsula to Bremerton and took the ferry across to Seattle.  Our GPS decided we wanted to take the Southworth / Vashon ferry and we didn't figure out the mistake until we were at the Southworth exit off Highway 16.  It was 4:05 and we were hoping to make the 4:15 ferry.  I knew we wouldn't make it and would have to make Lucy suffer through an hour wait at the ferry terminal.  Thank goodness for Jason because he has faith.  We paid the toll at 4:13 and were the 3rd to the last car on the ferry.   Lucy was happy to be home and even managed to stay up and play until almost 6:45 pm.  (party girl!)

Sunday, Cranky Sunday
What is it about a kid who stays up "late" that feels the need to wake up early?  Our night owl from the night before woke up to start her day at 5:45 Sunday morning.  (Today, Monday, she had to be woken up at 7:00 am!)   We don't stay up late unless we have plans, which is a good thing, because even with a 10:00 pm bedtime, 5:45 am on Sunday feels early.

I'm not touching you!

With such an early waking we had time to make breakfast and have a leisurely morning.  In spite of the cup of good coffee and the excellent peanut butter toast I was cranky yesterday morning.  I was irritated at my most excellent spouse and knew it was borderline irrational, so I tried to keep it to myself.  However, in my state of spitefulness I picked up my own breakfast dishes and put them in the dishwasher, but did not touch his plate.  I wondered how long he would let it sit on the table before he did anything with it.  I finally put it away, while he was making dinner.  You can't be irritated at someone for their failure to pick up after themselves when you a) leave shit everywhere too and b) they are making you dinner.

My attitude adjustment came far later in the day, so during church I was still cranky and not at all happy with the discovery that it was Palm Sunday.  Now, as a day Palm Sunday doesn't piss me off, but they give out palm fronds and the kids (Jason and Eric) can not help themselves by using it to poke their neighbors.  To be fair, Jason didn't actually poke me in the face with the fond, but somehow being poked and having the thing .25 centimeters from your face feel like the same things.

After church, we headed home for a two hour nap for little Miss 5:45 is Awesome!  Jason did some work and I watched tv and sulked.

 We ventured out in the afternoon to the outlets in Woodinville.  The Hanna Andersson store does wonders for my mood.  The kid clothes are happy and bring summer into my world.  I hope Lucy likes girly stuff because I think it's the cutest.

Eddie Bauer had some nice finds too, including a very casual, but pretty summer dress for me and a pair of shorts I would not have purchased had they not been 50% off.  I was not at all pleased to discover after we left Woodinville that the clerk did not actually give me the 50% off for the shorts.  Grumble.   Rather than head back to Woodinville, we're going to stop at the outlet store in North Bend on our way to visit the Granger Grandparents and if they can't make the price adjustment I'll simply return the darned shorts.  Grumble.

All these minor irritations were nothing compared to how bad I felt for Lucy.  She had a "poop situation" or rather "I need to go and can't" situation.  Poor little bug worked on her problem all day and it was horrible to not be able to help her.  We loaded her up on juice (prune) and fruit as well as water but I think we may have just been adding pressure to the backlog (sorry for that imagery.)  Finally, at 5:30 she worked something out and it was clear she felt a lot better.  I warned the day care teachers that she might be extra poopy today but thankfully they haven't called to say "come get your angry, pooping child."

 What I find ironic is that she has one teacher that makes it seem like Lucy is the only child who "goes" a lot at school.  "Oh, every diaper, is poopy."  Where as, I know for a fact that everybody poops.  I read a book once.   I guess I shouldn't feel judged when Lucy goes on a regular basis, it is far worse when she doesn't, as that's when I know that her diet is off.

By bedtime I had shaken off my dark cloud and went to bed with a sunny attitude.  One of the frustrating things about a bad mood is that it seems to cascade; my ability to roll with normal minor issues is diminished and I'm not the person I want to be.  Thankfully, that was yesterday, today I am very much back to normal.  In fact, when I cut a hole in my shirt while removing tags from the pretty Hanna Andersson clothes I didn't even cry or curse.  The other good thing... only 13 sleeps until we leave for Maui.

Maui!!!!!!!!!!!

Making Plans

We're being told that the odds are better that I'll become a Saint than actually winning the Mega Millions lottery tonight.  I don't think "they" know how I could NEVER be a Saint, so the odds of the lottery win are actually in my favor.

Regardless of the minuscule chances of winning, it's been a fun 24 hours thinking about what we would do with the money.  After a quick search online at premier homes for sale it became clear that we'd "need" to build a custom home to meet our selfish wants.  A soundproof media room for the kids (Jason & the man friends) and a craft room for me.  I'm envisioning white built-in cabinets to store my gift wrapping stuff, a solid surface island for all the macaroni crafts Lucy and I will be making and a place for my sewing machine to live where it can be at the ready (maybe on a table that pulls out from the wall so it can be tucked away for clean lines in the room (like an appliance garage).  Our needs are simple and we're probably thinking really small, but we're simple people.

Then the next dilemma is built the house big enough so the grandparents can move in and live with us, or build tiny in-law cabins on the "compound" so they can be close when they want, but we can still carry on with Naked Tuesdays like normal.  I'm guessing, once they come to grips with the fact that Naked Tuesday is a reality that they'll opt for their own private space.  If Naked Tuesdays isn't happening now, it will happen after the option of all those people living with us is a possibility.

As for charity work, do we start your own foundation or set aside money and dole it out to the charities we're already supporting?  It would be really fun to write some big checks to the charities we're supporting now.  I'm sure the Domestic Violence Prevention group that my classmates started last year would be super excited for a whopper donation, because they are over the moon for everything over $100.   There would certainly have to be a plan as I'm sure the requests for help from genuinely needy souls would be coming at you, and I'm not good at "no".

The other thing about being wildly rich would be the creative theme parties we could throw.  Right now I'm thinking that a "Hunger Games" themed party would be a hoot.  Maybe the guests wouldn't have to actually kill each other, but physical challenges in the woods would be great fun to watch.  I guess it all depends on who we invite over.  That boy from high school who broke my heart, he should be wary of an invitation to a "high school reunion" at my place.

Over breakfast this morning, Jason said that we'd have to extend our upcoming Maui vacation and fly the grandparents and Lucy over to join us (that includes you too Mom... chill out.) but I am so ready for a solo (Jason and I) vacation that the first thing out of my mouth was -"they can come, but AFTER we get a week to ourselves!"  That's when I got the "chill out" look from my beloved.



It would be a "big ask" to ask the grandparents to endure the five hour flight with the Lucy, but we'd put them in first class to ease their discomfort.  After a cocktail or two Lucy is very compliant.  I bet the flight attendants would be all "judgey" about feeding cocktails to the one year old - whatever.

Until tomorrow morning these plans are a fun distraction.  In the meantime, today is the day the sheets get washed and unless I'm super confident of our win and the arrival tomorrow morning of Fabritzo, our new houseboy, I'll have to do it myself.

Snow Day

We're home again due to weather. Yesterday it was simply snow that caused the schools to close and since our day care follows the school district closures we had a stay at home baby yesterday. I was able to attend all my meetings and keep up with email, so it wasn't a total (work) loss. We're home again due to freezing rain. Yesterday I shoveled part of the driveway (and Jason did the other half when he got home) and overnight it has filled with about 3/4 of an inch of ice. It looks like a big soupy puddle but it's frozen solid. The picture below this post was taken this morning on the little tree in front. The power lines look the same. In fact, our power has been flickering on and off all morning. I'd be doing laundry, but I worry that if the power goes out for a long period of time that a tub full of wet clothes would be a bad thing.

 Hanging with Lucy is fun, but she really does the same things over and over again She unstacks the stacking boxes, pulls the blocks from the bin, removes the coasters from the coffee table (what they did to her I'll never really know) and then makes the annoying "learning puppy" sing. (Thanks DOUG for the Annoying Learning Puppy!) The damn thing has the most irritating song that Lucy seems to love. Imagine this in a fake child voice "It's fun to see you laugh and grow, learning as you play. It's something something and here is what I say I loooooove you, I loooove you , morning noon and night, I loooooove you, I looooooove you, you make my day so bright." It seems innocent enough, but there are times when I really want to punch that happy puppy right in the nose.

We're in kind of a growth spurt with Lucy right now and she's a sleeping machine. She woke up at 6:30 this morning and had to have a morning nap at 8:30. It's been over an hour and there's been nary a peep from the nursery. She'll likely take another nap this afternoon and still be ready for bed in the 6:00 hour. The other Lucy issue is that we're still dealing with a minor diaper rash. It gets better then flairs up again. We had it in pretty good shape after our 5 day weekend together, but one day at day care and we were back to a flaming red bum again. I'm not sure what that's all about. She does eat a lot more at 'school' than she does at home and seems to pooh a lot more there too. They are changing her every hour and applying the doctor required paste - something about school makes Lucy's butt very very angry.

Enough about baby butts - we have a follow up appt with our pediatrician Friday (provided we can get there) and we'll get to the bottom of it. Ha Ha, get it, I said "bottom" while discussing a diaper rash... I'm so funny. snort. My book group meeting is scheduled for tonight, but even if it warms up and melts today, I likely will not be going. I don't have any fear about getting there (if it gets warm during the day) but once the sun goes down the soggy slush will be an issue and since BG is optional, I feel safer skipping. Hopefully the ladies are in agreement and we can find another day to meet. I did finish the book and am interested in their thoughts on these strange and mildly unlikeable characters. there goes the baby.... off to be a mommy.

Thanksgiving

Here is my sappy list of what I'm thankful for this year (in no particular order):

1) A warm home
2) hot beverages on a cold day
3) A car that starts when you want it to
4) health insurance
5) not being pregnant (it was fun, but once was enough)
6) the tiny little socks in my dryer
7) a girl who naps
8) our holiday lights are up and ready to be turned on Friday afternoon.
9) a husband who cooks
10) the cleaning fairy who comes every other week and cleans our bathrooms
11) Miss Alexis, Miss Valentina and Miss Miriam at "school" who love Lucy so much
12) Online shopping
13) feeling better
14) friends
15) family
16) soup
17) a trip to Maui that is planned and mostly paid for
18) snugly blankets when I'm cold
19) air conditioning when it is super so hot outside
20) people who are witty
21) people who are forgiving
22) a working vacuum cleaner
23) Thanksgiving at someone else's house.
24) naps
25) a husband who quietly asks "are you awake?" and can tell the difference between the yes that means yes, and the yes that means I was asleep.

Here are my thoughts on that...

Poor Kris Humphrey's, his tiny wife dumped him after only 72 days of wedded (bliss?).  The websites are all speculating if it was a sham marriage, staged for tv or if the love they shared was real.  Personally, I'm disgusted by the over the top wedding and the money that was spent on something that would be dead in 10 weeks.  It's not like buying a dozen roses where you love them this week because they are pretty and throw them out next week when they start to smell.  This commitment is supposed to be for the long haul - oh and no one said it wouldn't be hard.

In addition to enjoying the made for tv drama, many web sites and folks are also saying "sure Kim K. can get married for 72 days, but heaven forbid we should let gay people ruin the sacred bonds of marriage."

You've met me and know that I'm not against allowing same sex couples legally marry.  I understand that for some folks, their religion and upbringing has given them fervent and closely held beliefs that being gay is wrong, a sin or against the laws of God.  I respect that perspective, just as I respect the rights of those who don't choose to worship the same way I do to do it how or if they want.  My religion does not and should not affect the rights of others.

As much as I support the rights of all consenting adults to marry whom they like, I think the argument that another failed Hollywood marriage is evidence that they should be allowed to marry is tired.  I understand the logic, my gay friends are being told that getting married would hurt the sanctity of marriage (um, crock of crap btw) and then day after day there are public displays of people spitting on their vows.  Why shouldn't they point to Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears and others who have spectacularly failed to live up to the intention of marriage as proof that they (as a gay community) couldn't hurt it anymore than the rest of us.

I hope that one day "we" figure out that gay people are, and hold on to your shorts for this idea, the same as everyone else.  Let me say that again for clarity - gay people are normal people.  They will fail at marriage just as much as non-gay people, they will marry for money, status, security, popularity, health insurance and pretty bowls from Tiffany's just as often as the rest of us.  Some will stay married forever because that's the commitment they made, some will divorce when life gets hard, some will come out as straight and leave their families, some will cheat, some will get bored, some will find themselves and have to move on.  When those things happen to straight couples we sit back and say "whew, thank goodness it's not me" or "I wish I had that courage" but never ever do I think that what is happening at Tiger Woods' house or in the hotel suite the Kardashian's are being filmed at this week makes one iota of difference in my house.   My respect for marriage is not lessened by the thousands of couples that were allowed to marry in New York - in fact, seeing people that have been denied that right for years see their dream come true touched my heart.

So, should we stop imposing our religious beliefs on an entire population of people- yes.  Should we allow gay marriage because they couldn't do it any worse than we do - not really.  We should legalize it because it hurts no one and once we get over ourselves and our superiority on this topic we can focus on things that matter like Lindsay Lohan's latest court outfit and Justin Bieber's virginity or maybe hunger and homelessness.  Oh shoot, now I'm talking crazy.

I-1183 will kill hundreds of puppies!

If I-1183 passes, puppies will eat this baby!

and....

• 1000 mini-marts will sell booze to underage drinkers. 
• A drunk driver killed my child, and that's why I'm voting no on I-1183
• We already have an enforcement issue, I-1183 will make it worse.
• If I-1183 passes the terrorists will win. 

In the event you're not from the Washington state area, or you mute every political ad you see, I-1183 is a proposal that would privatize the sale of hard alcohol in our state. Proponents say that it will eliminate government spending on storefronts and allow for somewhat competitive pricing. Opponents say that it will lead to an increase in consumption, drinking and driving and sales of liquor to children.

There are big dollars being spent to sway opinion on the issue, the "YES" people stand to make a lot of money on smaller margins and the ability to market a product people are already buying. The backers of the NO side stand to lose a lot of money by having to give up a standardized markup.

In researching my "facts" about who is paying for what I found an article on the Bellingham Herald webside that says they did some research into the backers:

Protect Our Communities, which is against the initiative, is mostly funded by the Wine and Spirits Wholesalers of America. In fact, of the more than $5 million the campaign has raised, 95 percent of the funding comes from that group. The campaign also has significant union support.

The Yes on 1183 Coalition, on the other hand, gets most of its funding from Costco - 94 percent of the cash contributions, in fact. The rest comes from Safeway and Trader Joe’s. This group has lots in in-kind contributions. Of the 1.3 million in in-kind contributions, 98 percent of the in-kind contributions come from Costco.

(These numbers are all as of about 5 p.m. on Sept. 12.)

Assuming their research is accurate, I stand firmly beside my opinion that ALL the pro and con arguments regarding this issue is about money. However, the NO people can't say "we dont' want it because we'll lose out on money" they have to appeal to our more basic values, and thus "I-1183 kills babies."

The scare tactics work, no one wants kids to buy booze, and certainly no one wants them to drive drunk or be killed by drunk drivers. However, the suggestion that the increased availability of booze will increase consumption is silly. Studies conducted in the last few states to privatize sales showed that there was no increase in consumption of alcoholic beverages (wine, beer AND booze) after the privatization occurred. And, lets not forget that you can buy wine and beer at almost every corner grocery and gas station mini-mart in our great state.

 I have an acquaintance that is against the passing of I-1183. I respect her right to her opinion, but could only hold my tongue for so long when she was spamming facebook with her message about the death of children associated to privatization of liquor sales (it wasn't THAT bad, but since I'm the writer here I get to present her message my own way).

My response was:

With all due respect and honoring your right to your opinion, but I believe the statistics used in many of the NO on I-1183 ads and information being given to our community is skewed. Now, I won't deny that both sides tell the story to enhance their own views, but if you look at the last few states to privatize liquor sales (WA is one of the last holdouts) consumption remained flat after privatization.

I'm certainly not an advocate of anything other than responsibility when it comes to this topic, but I don't see how being able to buy liquor at Costco is any different than being able to buy cases and cases of wine, or kegs of beer. 

Both sides, the Yes and the No people are backed by big money. These backers don't care about our kids, they care about our pocketbooks. I hope people will do their own research and vote according to facts vs. scare tactics. 

This is my opinion and my apologies if this opens an ugly debate. Not my intention, because I'm not good at debate.

____

She didn't reply to me, but her sister did and she opened with " Terri, as a Mother, I...." and then went on to explain that her underage son is already attempting to buy beer at the local mini-mart and while he knows it's wrong he has bad decision making skills.  Therefore limiting availability is good for her.

Blah Blah Blah, I stopped listening after "as a Mother".  That got under my skin as if she was suggesting that only MOTHERS could see reason, or that if you're not a MOTHER that you don't care about children.  Well, as someone who until very recently was NOT a mother I say "phlllltttttttt" to that idea.  I'm sure that was not her intent, but that's what I heard.

As a mother, I need to get back to work, so here is my ultimate point:  please do your OWN research on this issue and make an educated decision when you vote. 

I'm just sayin'

I have these things to get off my chest:

1) On Facebook, if your new ex-BF or ex-GF posts that she's sorry she hurt someone, don't reply with "I'll always cherish our time together". It's awkward for all involved.

2) Maybe it is best to keep all relationship stuff off Facebook.

3) If you give someone advice to man up, accept a genuine apology and move on, you'd better be prepared to do the same thing.

4) In the dryer vent cleaning world an appointment window of noon to 3pm does not mean they will be finished by 3pm.  It's not like work where you schedule a meeting until 3 and you can plan on being somewhere else at 3:15.

5)  Statement #4 probably applies to Cable service people as well.

6) If you offend someone just by being yourself is it your fault or the person who has chosen to put up with you even though they've known you for 20 years?  (Trust me, I didn't teach their baby to say "shit" or anything like that...)

7) A frozen chicken will never thaw in time...

8) I feel bad for laughing at the poor couple who got lost in a corn maze and called 911.  It was dark, the employees seemed to have left and they had a 3 week old baby with them.  Calling 911 was probably smart, but it is kind of funny at the same time.

9) It's not fair that babies grow out of the cute clothes a lot faster than they do the ugly ones.

10) Microwave popcorn always sounds like a good idea, but  rarely is.

Occupy My Couch (armchair economics)

Maybe I'm jaded, but I don't see how 50-100 people sleeping outside in Downtown Seattle will have any impact on anything except keep people from journeying downtown.  I do give them some serious props for holding their rally in October - especially considering the damp fall day we're having.

I've seen some interviews on national media and periodically there's an articulate person who is able to explain the purpose of the occupation. Mostly, to me anyway, it seems like bored college kids who are happy to be involved.

The people do need to rise up and express our outrage - but at what exactly?  This dismal recession and lack of jobs?  Yes, our economy blows (not an economics major, cut me some slack) but I do believe that the growth we were seeing in the early 2000's was out of control and obviously not sustainable.  Some people are still getting rich while others are struggling.   The struggle is awful and I don't have a point of reference - even when I was unemployed for 5 months I was fine.  I had options, reasonable rent and no kids to feed or insure.  

What I'm most outraged about it my naive belief that our government works.  I feel like a fool for continuing to make thoughtful decisions about whom to vote for only to have the folks that are sent to Washington do nothing but spin.  Votes are delayed, influenced by re-election desires and what might make someone else look bad.  The President's jobs bill was to be voted on in the Senate today and before it even hit the floor I was sure that it wouldn't pass. The fact that the votes are entirely on party lines tells me that the defeat isn't about the right thing, it's about the "not HIS thing".    Raising taxes is not a popular idea, and I don't know if it is the right thing to do or not do, but I want to stand on top of my house and scream  "JUST DO SOMETHING!"  

Cut everything - including defense spending.  Give every Senator, Congressman, Secretary, assistant and janitor  who works for the Legislative branch a common salary, heck let's give them all the salary that a teacher with 15 years of experience gets paid in the state of Washington $60,242 plus benefits.  They can get a bump to $62,917 if they get their PhD.   The districts & states that these good folk represent can budget $1500 per month travel monies, and a reasonable budget for office expenses, say $5k per month.   (Now, please don't all over me because you think I'm suggesting that the VALUE of a teacher is the same as a US Congressman - I surely don't think that.  Teachers are far more valuable...duh).

The other thing that pisses me off is how taxes are managed and talked about.  Everyone should pay the same amount, a flat percentage based on income (including alternate equity for those tricky executives.)  The girl behind the counter at McDonald's should pay the same percentage of her pay as the CEO of Bank of America.   Sure there are arguments against that such as the rich can afford to pay more, alternatively by not letting folks write off their charitable donations or mortgage interest then people won't make donations or buy houses - but I think that's crap. I didn't buy a home for the tax write off, I don't donate to the charities of my choice because of the impact to my taxes, it's about need and humanity.  It seems that in the American dialog about taxes the idea of eliminating a tax cut is talked about as an increase in taxes.  Um... no.  If something costs $10 and it goes on sale for $8, when it stops being on sale the price is still $10.  I can see how, since these tax 'cuts' have been in place for ages that it seems like they are permanent, but if they were intended to be permanent, wouldn't the excellent legislators have made them permanent.  (Bwahahahahaha - foolish girl no, they don't have the balls for that.) 

Oh I could go on and on with my armchair economics.  Don't get me started on the highway robbery that is Estate taxes.  We got our cut of that money once - we shouldn't get a second crack at it because Daddy died.

I have to stop typing and go play on the floor with my baby.  It calms me down, much in the same way an animal is good for old people.  I guess that is why new Presidents always seem to get a pet.  "Here, you run this shitty operation, but in return we'll give you this cute puppy."  (Calvin Coolige had a goose, but an animal that does nothing but squawk, attack and poop seems Presidential to me in the modern day.)