TO: Car Salesmen Everywhere
RE: Back Off
This memo is to inform you that it is no longer 1950. When you sell a car to a couple you are selling it to both parties and you must not assume the woman is a feeble minded moron who needs your assistance understanding how to operate the vehicle.
You should also know that when you call to follow up and the client tells you that they are in the car, with their wife and that they are using the bluetooth hands-free telephone feature that EVERYONE IN THE CAR CAN HEAR YOU. When you offer your assistance to Mrs. L to answer any questions she may have about the car, Mrs. L can HEAR YOU.
Please also know that it is not necessary to offer that assistance again in a hand written letter that you mail one week after the purchase, nor is it required to leave lengthy phone messages on the home phone. You can stop emailing and calling. WE UNDERSTAND HOW TO USE THE CAR.
I am providing you fair and legal warning that if you show up on my doorstep to offer to show me how to use the car I will take a rake from my garage and use it to impale you in my garden. You will be a scarecrow for all door to door solicitors for the entire holiday season. You may even be adorned for the various holidays.
It may have seemed like we were from another era, or that I am dim witted because on the day we bought the car we split the duties. Jason went to the 'car store' and endured the first two and a half hours of negotiations on his own and I showed up with the baby for the last hour. Trust me, we did it this way because we are smart. I came as the relief pitcher at the end to close the deal. I understood the terms and the complicated math.
I have had less contact with the pediatrician after the birth of my child than I have had with this "nice" salesperson. Trust me, a baby is far more complicated to operate than a hybrid car.
You got your commission, now get out of our lives.