Fictionary

FOMO: fear of missing out.

"I have a bad case of FOMO"

This is not my word, but its a good one to describe that friend who worries you're all going to decide to do something fun while she's in the bathroom.

fictionary (borrowed)

Borrowed from one of Jason's co-workers.

Ginja:  The red headed ninja



clearly, not a new concept to anyone but me.  Thank you http://gorillagraphics-gavin.blogspot.com for letting me borrow the awesome image.  (I have maybe 6 readers so I doubt I'm boosting the awareness of your cool graphics too much.)

Fictionary

Va-dazzle: the sparkly diamonds attached to your lady bits.

Fictionary

Defensive manure : the poop you make in your pants when you have to swerve to save yourself from a bad driver.  

Fictionary

Nerd Bird: Alaska flight 327, Seattle to San Jose. Filled with geeky technology people. The call sign can also be applied to any flight with more than 50% techie nerds.

Fictionary

SHOE-ICIDE: ruining or killing your ability to move be wearing a new pair of shoes. Usually happens to women in shoes with elevated heels. (coined by the Chief Risk Officer from a major NY based financial institution.)

Happy Time

Fictionary Word

PEAK-A-BOOB: A shirt that accidentally exposes more breast than intended.

Potty Politics

I recieved a fictionary submission from a friend:

Not sure if you have this one, but I thought you might want to enter
it into your fictionary....

Spontaneapoo --when you think you only have to pee, but it turns out
you need to poo

It's the only explanation I can think of for the ladies who use the
first stall in the bathroom.  WHY do you want everyone to walk past
your smelly stall????  I don't get it!
 

hmmm.... I've never considered moving father into the restroom to poo.  It seems that I've been missing a key social skill.  Thanks mom for never teaching me this. How embarrassing.

I select my stall based on the following criteria:

1) availability
2) cleanliness / paper availability
3) not next to an occupied stall (if possible)
4) not the handicapped stall (unless there's no other option)
5) not the one with the crazy high seat (I'm short and hate it when my feet don't touch the ground.)
6) one that someone just didn't step out of
7) I try to avoid the second stall in the row because I saw a show on bathroom cleanliness and they said that stall #2 is the one with the highest use.

I guess now I have to add a criteria based on what I'll be doing in the stall.  Life is so complicated.

Fictionary

Anticipoop- fearing the pending bowel movement of a well fed baby who didn't poop all day.

Ass-cott. The extra snooty tie of '60's more-superior-than-you gay royalty.

Still all about Lucy

It's official, I am a mom. Last night Lucy sneezed 5 times in a row and I noticed a little squishy booger in her right nostril. In spite of the fact that boogers make me gag I used my pinkie finger to dig it out. (gross!). This may seem trivial to you, but I had a seed of doubt that I would be able to rise to this monumental occasion.

Sure, important things awe happening in the world. Lybia is a quagmire, we're still involved in fighting for freedom in Afganistan (and Iraq). Social Media has recently aided in the takde down of dictatorships and Charlie Sheen has launched his Self-destruction tour around the US. These things are relevant and many will likely be remembered for years to come, but are they really more important than a new mom who conquered her disgust over boogers for the sake of her small child?

Jason listened to my tale of triumph and then asked if I thought I could deal with the full on snot bubble that is an inevitable part of owning a toddler. I'd like to say that I said yes, but truth be told I gagged at the thought of it. Seriously, snot bubbles are gross. I fear the day that I have to manage the runny nose. Ack!!!

Fictionary

A new action occurred today that needs a name. The simultaneous sneeze and bowel movement of an infant (while in Mommy's arms btw.)

We all know that a "Shart" is the sneeze-fart combination, but what is it called when the bottom half of that activity is baby poop?

Do we like any of these:

Snit,
Sheeze,
Snoop, or
Pooze?

Actually "pooze" seems like a great name for the poop that leaks out of the diaper and up the babies back.

For those of you who need a non-baby related post. My Charlie Sheen comment of the day is that he seems quite mentally unbalanced these days and the media (and therefore us) are eating it up. We will celebrate his triumphant return when he gets it together, and the predictability of that makes me a bit sick.

Fictionary

Stellular - a fantastic new phone service with coverage between Earth and Neptune.  "Thank you for calling Stellular One, a representative will be with you in a moment."

Waggle - My new pregnant way of walking.  It is a side to side, yet forward motion.  It can be emulated, but you have to tuck a small pumpkin into the front of your pant to get the full effect.   (oddly enough, waggle didn't pop up as misspelled.. I wonder what it really means...)

Officially "waggle" means "to reel, sway, or move from side to side ".  The reason for the waggle is irrelevant. Sigh...not a new word.  


Boredrobe - a collection of clothing that is dull and predictable.  'It's time again form my black slacks, blue button down shirt and loafers." 

Fictionary - it actually happened

Soupicide: The act of willfully ending your life by flying into a bowl of steaming hot soup, generally used by flying insects.

Fictionary or Fact?

Assouline: A store in the fancy new mall in Las Vegas, or lube for your butt?


 

Yowza... that's some creative writing!

It's the last two comments that made Mr. Bell, my beloved high
school English teacher, roll over in his grave.

 


There are some possibilities for fictionary words here:
 
NOTMINDE: a drunken way to say "I'm ok if you do that." 

YEARD:  A lawn so big it takes 12 months to mow.

TROUIST:  A person dedicated to pants, from the root trouser.

HAPPEY:  What happens to a puppy when it is excited and you pick it up.  "Oh damn, that dog just happied all over my shirt."

TURISTY:  The technical term for bad masterbation skills.  "Sorry Timmy, you can't be in our circle jerk anymore, you are turisty for us and you are making a mess."

Fictionary

Thanks Matthew for this one:

Funemployment:  using your state unemployment benefits to enjoy your time off.

My mother-in-law who was (in my opinion) unfairly laid off from the job she loved due to "staff cuts" and not at all related to her being 65 is learning to enjoy her funemployment.  She is looking for work, but not as aggressively as she would be if being at home with her wonderful husband was making her crazy.  She's lunching with the ladies, getting out on her bike and enjoying herself.  (YOU GO GIRL!)

Hypothetically people, if you cite "staff cuts" as a reason to lay someone off, you might want to wait until AFTER they are gone to hire their replacement.  Making the person losing their job because of your "staff cuts" train their replacement makes you look like a dick.  (Sorry, I wanted to clean that up, but it makes me mad...)

TOLIO: an ailment leading to the deformity of the toe. (could be medical, like hammer toe or fashion like Manolos.)

SPAZMOSIS: when the goofy behavior of your companion wears off on you and you start acting silly too.

New term: Peanut Buster Barffet. Pretty much describes itself.