How do I explain it?

I need help. Last night our sixth grade student came into our room at bedtime in tears.  "I hate America" was the shocking statement that was made.   We asked, why and what happened because not even an hour earlier this smart, goofy kid who takes tap dancing classes, loves volleyball and is on the honor roll at school was telling us silly jokes and practicing a moonwalk.   "I don't understand why we're scared at school, and that people hate me because I'm different."

After some digging it boiled down to just the two topics that are the most worrisome for us as parents in 2023.  Gun violence and an increasing amount of law makers across the country talking about the dangers of saying "gay", people in Drag, or books in schools that represent real life people. 

We can't do the easy and reassuring parent trick of saying "it will be ok, a shooting at your school will never happen to you" because we don't know that.  Gun violence has already touched our little family.  On a boring Saturday morning we stopped into a local mall to shop for spring clothes and there was an altercation that resulted in two people being shot.  The terror in not knowing what was happening and the need to get out of the area was awful.   We were separated and our third grader had to rely on strangers for comfort and help until we were reunited.  

It simply isn't believable to tell kids that there is no risk in going to school.  The drills they do for lockdown are more likely to be put into action than the earthquake drills we did, and the atomic bomb drills our parents did.   American kids live with a real worry that it will be their school next.

Ok, so training and preparation.  That "solves" the gun issue, but what about the other thing?  How do we explain that legislators are railing on about drag queens because it's an easy thing to vilify?   How do we explain that just because they don't feel comfortable being called a girl that they are talked about by adults in power as deviant, or suggest that they were groomed.   It feels like they are suggesting that if it hadn't been for external factors, that my kid would be 'normal.'  Oh my, was it the true story about two male penguins at the zoo who hatched an adopted egg?  It can't be, our doctor, the therapist we hired after the shooting, and even the clergy at our church have said our family as healthy, loving and frankly ordinary.   

So, I am asking for help.  How do we explain inaction on limiting access to guns that are so powerful that parents have to use DNA to identify their child, but at the same time that these same legislators will limit the use of pronouns because pronouns are are harmful?  How do we explain that the rights of American's to have guns is more important than the right for children to survive the day of school?   How do we explain that even though we have freedom of religion in America that those who believe in the Bible use it to make laws, based on their interpretation.  How do we explain that we as parents would do anything to keep them safe, but we can't stop bullets and we can't stop useless and hurtful laws.

This kid is smart and sees through the irony of inaction on something that will literally kill them and action on stuff like words that don't matter.   

How are we as parents supposed to explain it?   

Guns and Kids

It's America, so it's happened again.   Yesterday, a person with either a mental disturbance or misguided racial motivations murdered innocent people doing normal things.  Last week it was people shopping for groceries and yesterday it was a teacher and 18 elementary kids during the school day.

I am not heartbroken, I am not devastated, and I am not shocked.  I am ANGRY.  

America pretends to be the "land of the free" when we are asking our children to put on a brave face and go to school knowing that they may have to put into action the active shooter skills they practice starting in kindergarten.  

America pretends to be the "land of the free" when some states are passing laws so that a twelve-year-old, whose mind and body is not ready to be a parent cannot end that pregnancy.

America holds on to the Second Amendment of the Constitution as if making any adjustments for modern weaponry or simple background checks will burn the entire country to the ground.  

"It is our right to form a militia to protect ourselves against the government."  Really, a government that is so filled with inaction, blood money, and infighting that the very idea of working together to resolve a baby formula shortage is TOO MUCH.  

It is too much, too much to process, too much to hold in my heart, too much.

It's spring, the bees are hard at work in the flowers outside my window, that should bring hope, but it doesn't.  I put our child on the school bus this morning with tears in my eyes.  I hope she makes it home from school.

July 30, 2021

The world was opening up again, we went through a phase where it felt weird to wear a mask into a store, as if people would think that we weren't vaccinated. However, anytime we are with the kiddo masks are on, since she can't get the vaccine and must wear a mask, we will do it out of solidarity. There are still plenty of people in the US who have free and easy access to get the COVID-19 vaccine, but won't. To be honest it makes no sense to me. Yes, it's scary, and who can really trust the scientists who managed to come up with these injections after only a year of research, but then again...this pandemic stuff is real. People are dying, we know people who have died. I get that it's hard to trust the "government" when messages keep changing, but this is a new thing, and the longer this virus is studied, the more we will learn. 

 What I predict is that this summer is a bit of a repeat of last summer, people are outside, they feel free, but this pandemic is not over. The Delta variant is bad news, and per the news today, it looks as though vaccinated people can still be carriers/spreaders of it even without being sick. By the fall, I expect that we'll be back to masks 100% of the time, and while school may happen in person, it will still be masks and distancing, and maybe even the half day crap from last year. 

What I don't understand is how the people who are exercising their personal freedom to not get the vaccine still feel it's ok to want to meet up and mingle with the rest of the world. Sure, technically, as a vaccinated person I am less likley to get seriously ill from a C-19 infection, but our unvaccinated child could get seriously ill and that's a frightening scenario. It's awful to say no to meeting with people who we really care about over this, but Lucy's health is more important. 

In shoulder news, I have been given the clearance to lift and do whatever as long as it doesn't hurt. I'm still building strength and range of motion, but am about half-way back to normal. I've been better about doing the home exercises this time and it shows in my progress. Reaching behind my back still hurts like heck and it's my least favorite thing to work on. Naturally it's the least progress I've made. That says a lot about my personality. It hurts, it's hard, I don't do it and there's little progress. DERP.

Summer 2021

It's been weeks and weeks since the "incident" at the mall. I'm still in physical therapy and am progressing well. My range of motion is good, and we're working on muscle and strength. The kiddo is doing well. She talked to a therapist for about 2 months and worked through some things related to the shooting and other things that a modern 10-year-old going through a pandemic would need to deal with. It's a new thing for us, but we never met Ms. Johanna in person, but did all the meetings online. I hope that when the pandemic is really over that conveniences like this never really go away. Not having to pick up a kid from school, drive to the office, park, check in, check out, drive home...is great. If this option moves to the dentist, or the gynecologists' then I will revolt, but initial dr. exams, mental health - it's a strong option. 

Now that we're in July, it's finally time to take the work sabbatical that was scheduled for August 2020. We are currently enjoying a 10 day timeout in a smallish rental house in Seabrook. The weather is not "amazing beach weather" but to be honest, today was brilliant and extremely amazing. It was 67, and not windy. We went to the beach, dipped out toes in the ocean, and probably got too much sun on our little blanket. Our little rental house has a hot tub, which has been fun. Our home is wired and ready for a hot tub, but it's probably better to rent one once a year or so, than clean one on a weekly basis. 

Today, I had an appointment at the local spa for a foot soak and a scalp treatment. I didn't think I could be on the massage table,, but with a bit of effort, I was able to manage the massage table, and get the bliss experience that you can only get when someone spends a crazy amount of time massaging your toes and scalp. The spa lady asked the normal questions of the ladies who spa while at the beach, but it turns out she was from Bay Center, a tiny town near the tiny town from my childhood. Because of the Bay Center connection we figured out that she was the niece of the family that lived next door to us at the beach. Because of the connection and the conversation the massage part of my treatment went on for an extra 30 minutes. It took me a while to come back to earth once it was over. I haven't had a massage since 2019, or earlier and I think this one might have ruined me for the future. This is a good problem to have.

Happy Birthday!

 HB to my guy.  We have lots of special surprises for today.  💋💋  We are the luckiest to have you.

Now, onto current events.   The inauguration went off without a hitch.  That was a big relief.   There are still lots of warnings about internal terrorists who have plans to disrupt "things", and the nations capitol and the state capitol has lots of extra security.  

What is interesting is that the same people who were going on and on about the election being rigged and stolen were pretty silent on the 6th, and are now bitching about all the extra military at the capitols.   I think they genuinely do NOT see a connection to their (support of) actions and the results.

It has been blissful with the former president not being able to tweet his hate for others, and his 'silence' is like a breath of fresh air.   It doesn't mean that the crazies aren't still crazy, but the news at the end of the day is about progress, rescinding hateful executive actions, and confirmations of  (GASP) qualified people to cabinet positions.   

I knew that with a new president that not everything would calm down, and it hasn't.   There are people who genuinely believe that the main stream media is filled with lies and that the election was faked.   I posted on facebook a story about a rule change that was adopted in late December early January that amongst other things allowed social service agencies to turn people away because of their sexual orientation.     A cousin of J's hopped right into it and attacked my post because my source was CNBC.  After I found and posted the actual rule change from the agency, this person went on with anger and vitriol.   

NBC says it so it must be true..... You are the Brainwashed and the Fascist bullies that want to force people to believe as you do! The media does no research and regurgitates what the AP says. #NotMyPresidentEver #resist

Then later, someone else, who I actually know popped in with this:

Yet you voted for a twice candidate who sold out his country to enrich his son and brother, who authored the crime bill which jailed more blacks than slavery, who eulogized a KKK member, and is beholden to China and is so secure in his "victory" he has 35k troops protecting the inauguration. You support everything you say you hate about Trump. Good luck with Joe.

 When I first read the first post I was taken aback by the missing of the point, but now that I read it again, he pretty clearly states that he doesn't agree that the rule change is wrong.   That's sad.  He has gay family members - maybe not his own kids but pretty close.  I'd bet my soul that Jesus wouldn't say "Feed the poor, except the homos, they are on their own."

As for the other guy, this is a great example of missing connections.   Why would troups be needed if people hadn't stormed the capitol, or weren't planning to do it again?   

I don't excuse past behavior, but I'd rather have a president who acknowledges that decisions made years ago aren't right anymore than one who does those things today and without apology.   

I'm sure someone will read this and rip me a new one or be pissed that I'm airing my opinions in public but I stand by my original point - discrimination based on anything including sexual orientation, gender, race is bad, and a government who is supposed to represent all the citizens should not allow it to happen.

Today the Confederate flag flew in the United States Capitol.

 Written by: Heather Cox Richardson

January 6, 2021 (Wednesday)

Today the Confederate flag flew in the United States Capitol.

This morning, results from the Georgia senatorial runoff elections showed that Democrats Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff had beaten their Republican opponents—both incumbents—by more than the threshold that would require a recount. The Senate is now split 50-50 between Republicans and Democrats, so the position of majority leader goes to a Democrat. Mitch McConnell, who has bent the government to his will since he took over the position of majority leader in 2007, will be replaced.

With the Democrats in control of both Congress and the Executive Branch, it is reasonable to expect we will see voting rights legislation, which will doom the current-day Republican Party, depending as it has on voter suppression to stay in power.

Trump Republicans and McConnell Republicans had just begun to blame each other for the debacle when Congress began to count the certified electoral votes from the states to establish that Democrat Joe Biden won the 2020 presidential election. The election was not close—Biden won the popular vote by more than 7 million votes and the Electoral College by 306 to 232—but Trump contends that he won the election in a landslide and “fraud” made Biden the winner.

Trump has never had a case. His campaign filed and either lost or had dismissed 62 out of 63 lawsuits because it could produce no evidence for any of its wild accusations. Nonetheless, radical lawmakers courted Trump’s base by echoing Trump’s charges, then tried to argue that the fact voters no longer trusted the vote was reason to contest the certified votes.

More than 100 members of the House announced they would object to counting the votes of certain states. About 13 senators, led by Josh Hawley (R-MO) and Ted Cruz (R-TX), agreed to join them. The move would slow down the count as each chamber would have to debate and take a separate vote on whether to accept the state votes, but the objectors never had anywhere near the votes they needed to make their objections stick.

So Trump turned to pressuring Vice President Mike Pence, who would preside over the counting, to throw out the Biden votes. On Monday, Trump tweeted that “the Vice President has the power to reject fraudulently chosen electors.” This would throw the blame for the loss onto Pence, but the vice president has no constitutional power to do any such thing, and this morning he made that clear in a statement. Trump then tweeted that Pence “didn’t have the courage to do what should have been done.”

It seemed clear that the voting would be heated, but it was also clear that most of the lawmakers opposing the count were posturing to court Trump’s base for future elections. Congress would count Biden’s win.

But Trump had urged his supporters for weeks to descend on Washington, D.C., to stop what he insisted was the stealing of the election. They did so and, this morning, began to congregate near the Capitol, where the counting would take place. As he passed them on the east side of the Capitol, Hawley raised a power fist.

In the middle of the day, Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani spoke to the crowd, telling them: “Let’s have trial by combat.” Trump followed, lying that he had won the election and saying “we are going to have to fight much harder.” He warned that Pence had better “come through for us, and if he doesn’t, that will be a sad day for our country.” He warned that Chinese-driven socialists are taking over the country. And he told them to march on Congress to “save our democracy.”

As rioters took Trump at his word, Congress was counting the votes alphabetically by state. When they got to Arizona, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) stood up to echo the rhetoric radicals had been using to discredit the certified votes, saying that public distrust in the election—created out of thin air by Republicans—justified an investigation.

Within an hour, a violent mob stormed the Capitol and Cruz, along with the rest of the lawmakers, was rushed to safety (four quick-thinking staffers brought along the electoral ballots, in their ceremonial boxes). As the rioters broke in, police shot and killed one of them: Ashli Babbitt, an Air Force veteran from San Diego, QAnon believer, and staunch Trump supporter. The insurrectionists broke into the Senate chamber, where one was photographed on the dais of the Senate, shirtless and wearing a bull costume that revealed a white supremacist tattoo on his abdomen. They roamed the Capitol looking for Pence and other lawmakers they considered enemies. Not finding them, they ransacked offices. One rioter photographed himself sitting at House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s desk with his feet on it.

They carried with them the Confederate flag.

Capitol police provided little obstruction, apparently eager to avoid confrontations that could be used as propaganda on social media. The intruders seemed a little surprised at their success, taking selfies and wandering around like tourists. One stole a lectern.

As the White House, the FBI, the Justice Department, and the Department of Homeland Security all remained silent, President-Elect Joe Biden spoke to cameras urging calm and calling on Trump to tell his supporters to go home. But CNN White House Correspondent Kaitlan Collins later reported that she spoke to White House officials who were “genuinely freaked… out” that Trump was “borderline enthusiastic” about the storming of the Capitol because “it meant the certification was being derailed.”

At 4:17, Trump issued his own video, reiterating his false claims that he had been cheated of victory. Only then did he conclude with: “Go home, we love you, you’re very special.” Twitter immediately took the video down. By nighttime Trump’s Twitter feed seemed to blame his enemies for the violence the president had incited (although the rhythm of the words did not sound to me like Trump’s own usual cadence): “These are the things and events that happen when a sacred landslide election victory is so unceremoniously & viciously stripped away from great patriots who have been badly & unfairly treated for so long. Go home with love & in peace. Remember this day forever!”

Twitter took down the tweet and banned the president for at least twelve hours for inciting violence; Facebook and Instagram followed suit.

As the afternoon wore on, police found two pipe bombs near the headquarters of the Republican National Committee and the Democratic National Committee in Washington, D.C., as well as a truck full of weapons and ammunition, and mobs gathered at statehouses across the country, including in Kansas, Ohio, Minnesota, California, and Georgia.

By 5:00, acting Secretary of Defense Christopher Miller issued a statement saying he had conferred with Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mark Milley, Vice President Pence, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY), and Representative Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and had fully activated the D.C. National Guard.

He did not mention the president.

By late evening, Washington, D.C., police chief Robert J. Contee III announced that at least 52 people had been arrested and 14 law enforcement officers injured. A total of four people died, including one who died of a heart attack and one who tased themself.

White House Counsel Pat Cipollone urged people to stay away from Trump to limit their chances of being prosecuted for treason under the Sedition Act. By midnight, four staffers had resigned, as well as Deputy National Security Adviser Matthew Pottinger, with other, higher level officials also talking about leaving. Even Trump adviser Stephen Miller admitted it was a bad day. Quickly, pro-Trump media began to insist that the attack was a false-flag operation of “Antifa,” despite the selfies and videos posted by known right-wing agitators, and the fact that Trump had invited, incited, and praised them.

Former Secretary of Defense James Mattis laid the blame for today’s attack squarely at the feet of Trump himself: “Today’s violent assault on our Capitol, and effort to subjugate American democracy by mob rule, was fomented by Mr. Trump. His use of the Presidency to destroy trust in our election and to poison our respect for fellow citizens has been enabled by pseudo political leaders whose names will live in infamy as profiles in cowardice.”

The attempted coup drew condemnation from all but the radical Trump supporters in government. Former President George W. Bush issued a statement “on insurrection at the Capitol,” saying “it is a sickening and heartbreaking sight.” “I am appalled by the reckless behavior of some political leaders since the election,” he said, and accused such leaders of enflaming the rioters with lies and false hopes. Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) was more direct: “What happened here today was an insurrection incited by the President of the United States.”

Across the country tonight are calls for Trump’s removal through the 25th amendment, impeachment, or resignation. The Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee have joined the chorus, writing to Pence urging him to invoke the 25th. Angry at Trump’s sabotaging of the Georgia elections in addition to the attack on our democracy, prominent Republicans are rumored to be doing the same.

At 8:00, heavily armed guards escorted the lawmakers back to the Capitol, thoroughly scrubbed by janitors, where the senators and representatives resumed their counting of the certified votes. The events of the afternoon had broken some of the Republicans away from their determination to challenge the votes. Fourteen Republican senators had announced they would object to counting the certified votes from Arizona; in the evening count the number dropped to six: Cruz (R-TX), Hawley (R-MO), Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-MS), John Kennedy (R-LA), Roger Marshall (R-KS), and Tommy Tuberville (R-AL).

In the House, 121 Republicans, more than half the Republican caucus, voted to throw out Biden’s electors from Arizona. As in the Senate, they lost when 303 Representatives voted in favor.

Six senators and more than half of the House Republicans backed an attempt to overthrow our government, in favor of a man caught on tape just four days ago trying to strong-arm a state election official into falsifying the election results.

Today the Confederate flag flew in the United States Capitol.

---

EDIT AT 12:00 on January 7: The symbol on the abdomen of the rioter on the Senate dais is a religious symbol that has been appropriated by white supremacists, not the Ku Klux Klan specifically, as I wrote originally. I apologize for the error.

 

So this is crazy...

  Here we are, 263 days into the Covid-19 stay at home situation.  Lock-down is the wrong phrase, as we are free to go where ever we want and while our household is choosing to stay home as much as possible we still visit the grocery store at least once a week and do takeout food 1-2 times a week.   We are not locked in our house Anne Frank style.  

However, we celebrated the second of the big three family holidays with just the three of us.  July 4th is usually a big family gathering, Thanksgiving is the other 30+ people event and we will be passing on Christmas as well.  

Summer was easy to manage as we had lots to do outside, backyard pools, distanced hanging with the favorite neighbors and good weather.   Thanksgiving was a different event.  We made our own dinner and, honestly it was pretty good.  A bit too salty, but better than dry and tasteless.  

The picture shows the settings I've just allowed on my phone, which means that I should get an alert if I'm at the grocery store and someone who is positive is within 6 feet of me.  I cannot really accept that I'm giving others the ability to track me within 6 feet, but until we're clear of this virus, I'll keep it active.  I can turn it off (in theory.)   There is a small piece of me that wonders if it's a big plan to whittle away our privacy, but I know people in the medical field and they cannot be lying about deaths.  

We are doing well, planning for a quiet Christmas.  We will be mailing our holiday gifts to our beloved parents this week.  I wish they could come, but it's not smart.  

The good news is that the (sorry) fuck-tard trump did not win a second term and grown ups will be returning to the white house in January.   Mr. Biden was not my first choice, but I'm very happy.   He's packing his cabinet with qualified people and many of them are women.  I hope that we don't pay for this moment of sanity in eight years when the GOP elects a literal bag of shit.   Common ground would be nice, but tRump...what a nightmare.  I would hope the GOP could find a candidate that would stand for their values without being a racist, whorey bag of crap.   And, (while I'm at it) be against abortion, but maybe let's make it irrelevant vs. illegal.  The un-aborted baby is a human who will need support, especially if the mother wasn't in the position to have a child in the first place.   

Oh man... ranting.

We are safe, we are happy, the tree is up.  

Drive-thru dance show behind a tavern - the most Renton thing ever.

Instead of a show on a stage in a theater, this year's dance recital is in a parking lot...

I suppose this is much better than no recital, but it also feels like a way to justify not refunding the costume fees.

The dance studio is working hard to make dance a reality in this moment of separation.  I am hopeful that when (if) school resumes next year that in-person dance classes will happen.

Now, the big question is will they do the summer dance classes via zoom as well.  I really hope not because keeping her attention for 4 hours will be challenging.

George Aubrey and others

I am not an eloquent person, but I want to put out to the universe that I want my lovely neighbors and beloved friends of color not to live in fear.

It’s not ok with me, a policeman’s daughter that they don’t experience the peace officer as a source of safety but as someone who might end their lives if they don’t act perfectly. It is ok with me that we are taking to the street to make it known it is time for a change.

It’s not ok with me that that the smart, lovely son of my community was followed home from the grocery store and threatened with violence by their neighbor who said he didn’t belong because he’s a strong athletic black “man” (he was 14). It is ok with me that our local police department came into their house and listened for over an hour to get the details and reassure this scared boy that he is entitled to his neighborhood and that he matters

.It’s not ok with me that folks are breaking into and looting businesses. Their actions are taking away from a needed protest. It’s ok with me that non-violent protesters are still showing up. It’s ok with me that there are some folks who can only help by praying, expressing their hope by participating in feeding programs.

It’s not ok with me that the President uses military level force on protesters to clear the way to hold a photo op on the steps of a church building while holding a prop. This action is no more Christian than it would be Jewish if he was holding a Torah on the steps of a Temple. It’s a show, and I don’t buy it.

The pain my coworkers, friends, and neighbors are feeling is real. My love, support, and prayers go out to them. I hope we can see beyond the distraction of the looters and agree that even someone has possibly broken a law can be taken into custody without having their life ended, or go for a jog without having their life ended or being a lawful gun owner without having their life ended or having a tail light out without having their life ended or playing cops & robbers in a public park without having their life ended, or react badly when police randomly/mistakenly break into their apartment without notice without having their life ended, or walk home from the corner mart with skittles, or...or...or..

For the record, I have never lived in fear of any of these things...we should ALL feel that way.

My uncomfortable truth

I, like a lot of people are heartsick over the jury decision in the George Zimmerman trial.  It appears that Florida is the place to go to get away with what seems like straight up murder.  Perhaps George and Casey Anthony can laugh about it over a beer.

The law is a complex thing but to me the "stand your ground" rule in Florida is flawed.  It says you can do anything to someone to taunt them, and then when they react you can get scared for your life and then kill them.   Stand your ground seems to mean that the clock doesn't start ticking legally until you say you're afraid, regardless of what you did to provoke the situation. That doesn't seem right to me.

I wonder if that means that Trayvon would have been acquitted if he HAD killed Zimmerman?  I mean, he was being followed and felt threatened, clearly for his life.    I doubt that the wheels of justice would have rolled his way had the night gone a different direction.

I will admit that I am not immune to profiling people.  I do it all day.

• Moms - safe
• Grandpas with kids - safe.
• Teenagers - kinda scary  
• Dirty homeless guy - unknown, walk wide 
• Salespeople at Starbucks - friendly 
• Counter lady at the Post Office - scary
• Loud, raucous group of people waiting for bus on 2nd & Pike - scary, avoid interaction
• Person in business suit waiting for bus on 2rd & Pike, not scary, but avoid interaction unless necessary.
• Person in a hoodie on a dark rainy night - unknown, avoid interaction
• Two 20 year olds on my door step in blue pants and white shirts - Mormons, be nice but so away.
• The dudes selling 'steak' door to door - potential robbers, be firm, take picture of car as they leave.
• The woman selling magazines door to door for points to help inner city kids - be nice, but no.
• Chris Brown - scary, entitled punk, thug
• Justin Beiber - scary, entitled punk, wannabe thug

Anyone who thinks that we will be a racially, socially blind society is crazy.  What we can be is aware of the preconceived notions we have about each other and try to be better.  I think it will be hard to be an urban black young man for many years longer than any of us are comfortable with.   But let's be honest, the inner city lawless thug is a person, he is not at all representational of all young black men, but he is real, and one that is glorified by movies, tv and music, and I find him a bit scary.  I may be a racist for having a category for the angry kid with a gun, but so be it.  I certainly don't think or place every young person of color into that category and the ones that do go there aren't all black.

I know people judge me too, I'm a middle aged white lady who drives a 2 year old around in a white mini-van.  I'm harmless right?  But, maybe you see an entitled, racist, elitist snob. I couldn't have anything in common or care about anyone who doesn't live on my block or drive my kind of car.  Surely not.

Profiling happens everywhere and all the time.  In the business world we meet people from all over the globe and interact on a common theme, but we've already created a false society because only the educated and smart people (and for some reason me) are invited to the workplace.   It's a racially diverse group and race isn't an issue, but it is not a socioeconomically diverse group, it is a whole bunch of "haves" and ramen eating future-haves.

"Lucky" for most of us, we get to point fingers at Florida and call them backwards as if it has nothing to do with us.  But, like many other things that are wrong, we owe it to ourselves to let them know we don't support their backwards ways.  Put the pressure on with your wallet, your vacation money and tell the businesses that operate in Florida that the laws are unacceptable.  Sure, Disney doesn't make laws in Florida, but they have influence and by not participating in socially right causes, they are implying approval.

Boycotting companies like Disney isn't my point, but an example of how 'we' can influence 'them'.   We have to do something.  Sitting around saying "shame on them" but not acting or speaking out is doing nothing.

I feel terribly for Trayvon's mom and dad.  I pray that they know that complete strangers care about their pain and that gives them some comfort.

Love is love

I love the new cover of The New Yorker.  I'm sure the people of Sesame Street may have different opinions as to the use of their characters.  I've only thought in passing these two were more than friends, but in the end...I think it's a sweet way to acknowledge the idea that our gay neighbors are about as harmless as Bert & Ernie.

I'm pleased with the SCOTUS' decisions regarding the Defense of Marriage Act, and thankful for the California community regarding the ruling over Prop 8.  They could have made a far more reaching statement regarding this issue, but I respect their decisions.

There are still questions.  Jason and I were talking about how the DOMA ruling would affect a couple that was married in Washington but moved to a state where marriages are only legal for heterosexual couples.  Legally, the couple would still be married, therefore at the federal level they would still be entitled to the same benefits as a heterosexual couple.  Right?

Also at issue is are states allowed to restrict the rights that are granted at the federal level.  If a couple is legally married anywhere in the United States, their state of residence shouldn't impact their interaction with the federal government - should it?

When I worked for Social Security oh so many many years ago, the laws in Washington state had no impact on our application of the SS laws.

I read one of my former high school classmates opinions on the topic and it made me really mad, and sad.  He certainly represents a group of people who adamantly believe that marriage can only exist between a man and a woman.  I sure do respect his right to think that way and to never ever enter into a marriage with another man.  I don't respect the unkind and pretty close to hateful way in which he applies his logic.

The thing that really set me off was the statement that marriage is intended for the sole purpose to bring children into the world.  So if your union cannot produce children (because you're two dudes or two ladies) then it's not a marriage.  If it weren't a completely useless exercise I'd like to know at what point he thinks 'marriages' that haven't produced children should be dissolved?  If after 10 years a couple is barren or their child dies should they no longer be married?   Raar.

There will always be people who think that marriage between two women or two men is wrong.  I just hope that in time they become a smaller and smaller group and that their children and grandchildren will talk about their position in the same way that we speak of those who are still holding on to the notion of racial purity - with hushed and apologetic tone.  "Please forgive great aunt Millie, she still thinks it's 1948 in the south."

Anyway - it looks to be a stunning weekend.  The inflatable pool will be making an appearance at Casa LaTP this weekend.  Come on over if you need to sit in icy water with a 2 year old.

He's checking your mail

Barack Obama 10:00 AM (4 hours ago) 
to TPgal 

I was just going over the mail in your inbox and wanted to drop you a line to say, bwahahaha you're rather funny! 

These guys are standing around waiting on me to finish up so we can talk about budgets, but my heart isn't in it.  They think I'm busy because they can hear the clicking of my keyboard.  Fools, they can just wait.

Barack 
Sent from the Oval O

dancing

Sally Ride and a genuine question

So, at the young age of 61 the first woman in space, Sally Ride died.  She was part of my youth and watching her break that barrier was important.  Of course at the time, I didn't know that it was remarkable and that she was doing something no woman had done (or been allowed to do) before.  To me, she was unique because she was on the news.  No one had told me that I couldn't do something because I was a girl.  She was a pioneer and a hero.  She was a champion for education and especially for girls in science. That's a hard sale these days.

Her obituary is causing some ripples because it ends with a simple statement that she leaves behind Tam Soandso, her partner of 27 years. She was GAY and we didn't know it. Gasp.

Some folks are up in arms that she was in the closet and did the gay community a disservice by not outing herself. I totally disagree.

Even though I think our society is served well by knowing that the gay community serves beside us in everything we do, I don't think that everyone who is gay has a responsibility to offer themselves up as a spokesperson.  Ms. Ride's calling was her family and education.  These are honorable causes.  From what I've read it sounds like her family and friends knew she was a lesbian.  That isn't closeted.  Sure, she didn't invite the media and the American people into her bedroom, but she also didn't advocate in the public sphere her stance on lots of issues.

I had a bit of a back and forth on a friends web page on this topic and I gracefully bowed out. I said that I understood where he was coming from but that everyone should have a choice to be vocal or not.  Then I let him have the last word.  After all, he was the one who felt betrayed and I'm just a soon to be middle aged, married lady.

I think our modern American world has lots of progress to make regarding our homosexual neighbors.  I understand that for some folks they may not know anyone who is gay (or don't know they know them) and they have been educated that being homosexual is a sin.  That carries a lot of weight for folks who use sin as a marker for how to live their lives.  Many people are adamant that GOD is calling this a sin.

I don't pretend to know what GOD says or thinks.  We have a nice little book that tells us what some men say GOD said or thought, but many of the items contained within that book are out of date in our modern world and are not followed to the letter by these folks either.  (I've mentioned this before.)  I can only do what in my heart feels like the right thing.

Sorry, I'm on a religious tangent and I wanted to go somewhere else.   My thought process of late has been trying to formulate a question to pose to the world at large about same-gender marriage that goes something like this:

The Washington State law (and upcoming ref 74) regarding same-sex unions does not require any church or religious organization to perform same-sex unions.  Therefore they are allowed to opt out of participating in these unions and can express their beliefs for their congregants anyway they like.

If we take religious arguments, the bible, and God off the table for reasons to oppose same-sex unions, what are the other arguments against it?

I'm interested in hearing a non-religious based answer.  I like religion, I enjoy participating in church and I am not trying to discount that some people feel adamantly that God is against this.  However, we don't limit the rights of others because they don't belong to our church, any church, or heavens to pete don't believe in church at all.   We do inflict Christmas on non-believers but Rudolf is so cute.. you know they like it.

I doubt I'm ever going to change the mind of anyone, but I am interested in hearing a genuine argument that isn't based on religion - especially in a country founded on religious freedom.

Grace under fire

I imagine last week was super awkward on the set of the Today show.  Rumors were flying around the tv universe that Ann Curry was about to get the boot (and the rumors were true) but there she sat on the anchor couch with a smile on her face.  Her hands seemed to be clutching each other with a firm grip, but I can't say if it was a sign of HER stress or if it just resonated with me because it is MY way of centering myself when things feel askew.

Personally, I think Ann Curry is a great journalist.  She's not hard and biting but asks smart questions and seems like a warm person.  One of the talking heads on another network said they thought she was about to get the boot because she was 'too empathetic'.  Dang... too much empathy in the news industry, seems to me that there is a total void of empathy and her having some is a certifiable miracle.  

It is hard to see someone you admire go through such a public humiliation.  Clearly, NBC sees the value of Ann Curry as her (reported) request to be freed from her contract was not honored and she's still on staff with NBC.  Maybe they didn't want to get their clocks cleaned by a morning show with Katie and Ann on a different network.   It looked like dirty pool to leak to the media that Ann was on her way out and then ask her to sit there and smile for a week while they worked out the details.

This morning, when the Today show came on it felt wrong.  Because it is a holiday week the "B" team was on deck so the transition will be soft, but as much as I missed Katie Couric in that role, I'll miss Ann Curry more.  I hope to see her often and doing more "real" journalism and I hope she loves it.

It can't be fulfilling to interview the leader of Israel one day and then have to sit down across from Kim Kardashian and ask her to be relevant.  Don't get me started on KK - that chick has a baby voice that makes me want to jab her in the neck and I'm not a hostile person.  That girl is everywhere in the media and I don't see the value.  Heck, she doesn't even use her "celebrity" to promote a charity, or advocate for others...she's just there.   My guess is that all the divorce stuff will take longer to negotiate than the 72 days she was with her husband before announcing the divorce.  

So, back to Ann. She's a northwest girl and she's someone I would happily invite over for dinner.  Gosh, I'd even drag out the cloth napkins.

Hang in there Ann!  You are an awesome role model.

More weddings!

Oh I love a good wedding and with a few perplexing exceptions, my wonderful and delightful friends are paired up and wedding season seems to be waning in my world. (To all the single ladies in the world, I know of the last, smart, witty, fun, single and caring man on earth... give me a call and I'll assess your worthiness for an introduction.)  He's a straight as the day is long, so any of you single guys out there have to keep looking.

Any-who... back to my point.  The local news lately is filled with what I see as progress in our state.  I'm talking about the historic votes to allow all couples, regardless of gender makeup to marry.  Unless something drastic happens it will pass the next legislative step and then the Governor will sign the bill into law.  It's a darned complicated process but I'm rather excited about it.

I'm sure the signing into law won't be the end of it, there will be people who will sue, those that will suggest that a law won't be valid unless its voted on by the citizens of our state, but I say 'whooie!'  We elected the folks in Olympia and their work stands for us all - just because you don't like it doesn't make it wrong.  My dad taught me that.  It was a blinding lesson in reality, where he told me to "want in one want and spit in the other and see which one gets full first."  I had to test that theory about five times before I really figured out that wanting wasn't all that productive.  I also learned that a handful of spit wiped on the couch will get you sent to your room.

I know plenty of people who feel with the most deepest of convictions that homosexuality is a sin and that allowing these 'sinners' to marry is an affront to the foundations of marriage.  I don't agree, but I respect their right to believe that way.  I also respect their right to pick and choose which parts of the bible to follow.  Rules such as if you rape a woman and she isn't married you have to marry her.  We don't stand by that one... or the penalty for adultery being death by stoning.  Other non-practical rules, such as crop rotation have been clearly moved aside as not relevant to our modern society, and I doubt that all priests still don special undergarments when they approach the alter, lest the die of guilt (that's in Exodus, and thank you Google for a fruitful search of absurd Bible laws.)  I don't discount that many modern churches and religious organizations still call homosexuality a sin.  That is fine, for them.

Churches and religious organizations can (and should) lead their people according to their beliefs and interpretations of Gods (or whomever) divine law.  Those teachings however should not extend to how laws are crafted in our modern, religiously free society.  Who is to say that YOUR view of God is the same as mine or that it is more relevant or more right?  Basing laws on a specific moral code is not acceptable in our modern civil government.  Sure, thou shalt not kill has wormed its way into our legal system, but come on, when you murder someone you trample their civil rights just a bit.  It's not only an infringement of their ability to dine at McDonalds but also ties back to the 10 commandments.  However, we have not created laws that can result in capital punishment for all the commandments.   I can find no civil code to prohibit anyone from envying their neighbor or their hot wife.

I support the rights of  Churches to opt in or out of performing, supporting, condemning or endorsing same sex unions.  They can deem me a sinner all day long for my support for that matter.  However, the State (a non-religious based entity) should not participate in mandated discrimination of any kind.

The argument that a same sex union harms the fabric of or society, the basis of families or will impact the marriage of anyone else is (again I say) whooie!  There have been gay couples for ages and it hasn't really harmed anyone, or impacted the fabric of society.  I would argue that the feeling that these people should stay closeted or that it's ok to bully gay kids or anyone) has done more harm than loving acceptance would have done.    Just as a sham marriage between two complete strangers or celebrities has no impact on my world, a union between two women in Yakima would have zero impact on me.    That's not entirely true, if I knew them, and was invited to the wedding I might spend some money on a new dress, a wedding gift or two and maybe a hotel room.  That is a positive impact to our economy, that's not a bad thing.

The fight isn't over, the discussion will go on for a while, but hopefully it will be resolved once and for all and we can move on to bigger and more important things.

By the way, I was trying to look up a statistic that would support a statement I thought I wanted to make about most serial killers being heterosexual males and accidentally downloaded a rather large PowerPoint presentation from Radford University entitled "Serial Killers".  Should anyone important be monitoring my online activity I'm  not doing research for extra curricular activities. Turns out, the report makes no reference to sexuality other than to note that serial killers have a higher rate of sexual abuse in their past than the rest of the population.  Since consenting adult sexual behavior isn't abuse the point is irrelevant.    Point to note, abuse and dismembering of animals is a VERY strong indicator of future deviant behavior and should be taken VERY SERIOUSLY.

It's been exciting around here

We took off a long weekend to spend some much needed alone time together and then Mother Nature decided that five days wasn't enough.  With the exception of a one day break we spent 11 days in each other's company 24/7.  It was great, it was fun and it was super exhausting.  I think we all benefit from Lucy's outings to "school".  She certainly likes her friends. When I left her this morning she and Connor, a fellow 'I can't quite walk yet' classmate were laughing at each other while handing a drum back and forth.  I think she likes the diversity of activities that they plan at 'school'.  Sometimes they do art, sometimes they play with shredded paper, sometimes it is peek-a-boo time.  At home, my entertainment skills are heavily reliant on the toy box and   books.   I don't get creative with arts and crafts.  I hope to be that kind of mom who can manage a rainy day with art, but at almost 11 months, it's a challenge.

We're happy that the weather has warmed up, but we had a major wind storm last night and it kept me awake. I could hear all the vents on the house being blown around and I just knew that all the trash bins that were outside were being strewn about our already messy street.  The big snow day was our trash day and for some odd reason (hills?) United Waste didn't pick up the trash.  We managed to bring our bins in for the week( it's called shoveling your walkway) but many of our dip shit neighbors couldn't get it together to do it.  If there's a reason why I won't be friends with many of the neighbors it is their complete lack of pride in keeping our street clean.  I understand why everyone (but us) has bins and extra bags out today, but they also have their recycling out as if some miracle will occur and the Recycle truck will come too, even though it's not recycle week.

Today the wind is gone, but we have what I like to call "big rain" and all the bins that have had their lids blown off are filing with water.  Could the neighbors bring in their now super soggy cardboard piles?  Hell no.  I called to confirm that there will only be trash pick up today and now I'm tempted to run around outside and put a sign on every pile that says "TRASH" so that the garbage people will just pick all that junk up.  I'm happy to recycle and it would be sad to have all that product go to the landfill, but I want it off the streets.



In Lucy news, we finally have top front teeth budding.  I noticed them last night after her bath.  She was singing and singing and I caught a glimpse of white in the upper palate.  She's still right on time with the teeth, because these teeth are expected anywhere between 8-12 months.  She'll hit 11 months on the 1st so she's fine.  I guess I just felt that because Jordan's teeth came in all at once that Lucy's would too.  Lesson:  different kid, different rules.

Both Jason and I got a little emotional (not tears or anything like that) when we saw the teeth.  We are excited but I, for one, am going to miss that gummy smile.  This year has gone by so fast.  She's such a little girl these days and I'm sure walking is right around the corner.   She doesn't quite have words yet but we occasionally hear "mama-mama" and "da" and the ever embarrassing "die die die".  Sometimes she sounds really sweet when she's babbling and other times it sounds kind of expressive, so the difference between cute 'dai, dai, dai' and demonic  "die! die! die!" is remarkable.  She does growl at us, but most to express displeasure and I'm sure it will go away when she has the word 'no'.  She already knows what shaking her head no means and we get hand signals to let us know when she's done eating.  It looks like a grand two handed wave, but it is the sign language move for "all done".  She knows what "more" looks like (pinch your fingers together and touch the tips of both hands) but an outstretched arm, the gimmie hand grab and an expressive grunt works too.

This weekend is Jason's birthday and he and I will be going out to dinner.  Lucy will be staying home with Rico and Mrs. Rico but just so it feels like she's with us in spirit we'll be scattering a handful of Cheerio's on the floor around our table. I'm sure the staff at El Gaucho will see the humor in that.

Taxi cab attorney

I survived the sickness enough that the urgent care doctor told me I could travel to my business meeting Tuesday.  My flight was somewhat easy, but I was the slow lumbering person you hate to get behind at the airport.   Eventually I made it to sunny, but chilly Las Vegas (65... brrrrr)

My taxi driver initiated conversation, asking where I was from and why I was in town.  I said for a meeting and he kept asking questions so much so that I shared that I was in information security and through the course of the conversation that I had worked at a bank.

Serge (not his real name) perked right up and said "You worked for a bank?  What do you know about short sales?"

"Not much, I've done some reading."

"I got this paper here that says that they are selling my house and I need to know what it means."   Then he hands me this 5 page letter from Bank of America.  As he's handing it through the glass I'm telling him, I'm not a lawyer. "no, but you seem smart, please read it and tell me what it means."

I quickly scanned through the document and it was pretty clear.  He had a mortgage for $200k, the bank had accepted an offer for $130k and would be writing off the remaining $70k.

He asked me to explain the fine print which essentially said that Bank of America could NEVER sue him for the  remainder amount of the loan, that he would be entitled to zero monies as part of the transaction, no funds would be handed to him even to hand over to the other party and that the deal would close on December 15.

We had a brief chat about Primary Mortgage Insurance and how the bank would be getting any money from any claims related to PMI on his loan.  It was then that he said that he had saved for years and years and bought this house with 20% down so he didn't have PMI.  He asked why if Bank of America would accept $130k for his house from Eduardo Somebody, why they wouldn't take $130 from him so he and his family could keep the house.   That is the question of the decade Serge.

At the end of the short cab ride, Serge asked if he could sleep that night.  I told him that yes, the deal seemed good, he didn't have to pay anything, he wasn't in any trouble and as long as they were ready to move by December 15th that yes, he could sleep at night. At the hotel he thanked me profusely and took my cab $25 fare and was off.  Heck, he almost hugged me.

I felt pretty good about our interaction until the cab ride back to the airport and the charge was only $12.50.  

I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

I did sit down at a 1 cent machine and put in $5.  I walked away when my winnings totaled over $50.  I felt that for a business trip that was a nice conversion rate.  Other than that little moment in the casino I was in my room.  I napped, took a bath, ordered room service and went to bed early.  So much for Terri's Wild Vegas Evening.  The meeting was good and really worth my time.  It sucked getting home at midnight last night, but much better than another night away from home.

Here are my thoughts on that...

Poor Kris Humphrey's, his tiny wife dumped him after only 72 days of wedded (bliss?).  The websites are all speculating if it was a sham marriage, staged for tv or if the love they shared was real.  Personally, I'm disgusted by the over the top wedding and the money that was spent on something that would be dead in 10 weeks.  It's not like buying a dozen roses where you love them this week because they are pretty and throw them out next week when they start to smell.  This commitment is supposed to be for the long haul - oh and no one said it wouldn't be hard.

In addition to enjoying the made for tv drama, many web sites and folks are also saying "sure Kim K. can get married for 72 days, but heaven forbid we should let gay people ruin the sacred bonds of marriage."

You've met me and know that I'm not against allowing same sex couples legally marry.  I understand that for some folks, their religion and upbringing has given them fervent and closely held beliefs that being gay is wrong, a sin or against the laws of God.  I respect that perspective, just as I respect the rights of those who don't choose to worship the same way I do to do it how or if they want.  My religion does not and should not affect the rights of others.

As much as I support the rights of all consenting adults to marry whom they like, I think the argument that another failed Hollywood marriage is evidence that they should be allowed to marry is tired.  I understand the logic, my gay friends are being told that getting married would hurt the sanctity of marriage (um, crock of crap btw) and then day after day there are public displays of people spitting on their vows.  Why shouldn't they point to Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears and others who have spectacularly failed to live up to the intention of marriage as proof that they (as a gay community) couldn't hurt it anymore than the rest of us.

I hope that one day "we" figure out that gay people are, and hold on to your shorts for this idea, the same as everyone else.  Let me say that again for clarity - gay people are normal people.  They will fail at marriage just as much as non-gay people, they will marry for money, status, security, popularity, health insurance and pretty bowls from Tiffany's just as often as the rest of us.  Some will stay married forever because that's the commitment they made, some will divorce when life gets hard, some will come out as straight and leave their families, some will cheat, some will get bored, some will find themselves and have to move on.  When those things happen to straight couples we sit back and say "whew, thank goodness it's not me" or "I wish I had that courage" but never ever do I think that what is happening at Tiger Woods' house or in the hotel suite the Kardashian's are being filmed at this week makes one iota of difference in my house.   My respect for marriage is not lessened by the thousands of couples that were allowed to marry in New York - in fact, seeing people that have been denied that right for years see their dream come true touched my heart.

So, should we stop imposing our religious beliefs on an entire population of people- yes.  Should we allow gay marriage because they couldn't do it any worse than we do - not really.  We should legalize it because it hurts no one and once we get over ourselves and our superiority on this topic we can focus on things that matter like Lindsay Lohan's latest court outfit and Justin Bieber's virginity or maybe hunger and homelessness.  Oh shoot, now I'm talking crazy.

Occupy My Couch (armchair economics)

Maybe I'm jaded, but I don't see how 50-100 people sleeping outside in Downtown Seattle will have any impact on anything except keep people from journeying downtown.  I do give them some serious props for holding their rally in October - especially considering the damp fall day we're having.

I've seen some interviews on national media and periodically there's an articulate person who is able to explain the purpose of the occupation. Mostly, to me anyway, it seems like bored college kids who are happy to be involved.

The people do need to rise up and express our outrage - but at what exactly?  This dismal recession and lack of jobs?  Yes, our economy blows (not an economics major, cut me some slack) but I do believe that the growth we were seeing in the early 2000's was out of control and obviously not sustainable.  Some people are still getting rich while others are struggling.   The struggle is awful and I don't have a point of reference - even when I was unemployed for 5 months I was fine.  I had options, reasonable rent and no kids to feed or insure.  

What I'm most outraged about it my naive belief that our government works.  I feel like a fool for continuing to make thoughtful decisions about whom to vote for only to have the folks that are sent to Washington do nothing but spin.  Votes are delayed, influenced by re-election desires and what might make someone else look bad.  The President's jobs bill was to be voted on in the Senate today and before it even hit the floor I was sure that it wouldn't pass. The fact that the votes are entirely on party lines tells me that the defeat isn't about the right thing, it's about the "not HIS thing".    Raising taxes is not a popular idea, and I don't know if it is the right thing to do or not do, but I want to stand on top of my house and scream  "JUST DO SOMETHING!"  

Cut everything - including defense spending.  Give every Senator, Congressman, Secretary, assistant and janitor  who works for the Legislative branch a common salary, heck let's give them all the salary that a teacher with 15 years of experience gets paid in the state of Washington $60,242 plus benefits.  They can get a bump to $62,917 if they get their PhD.   The districts & states that these good folk represent can budget $1500 per month travel monies, and a reasonable budget for office expenses, say $5k per month.   (Now, please don't all over me because you think I'm suggesting that the VALUE of a teacher is the same as a US Congressman - I surely don't think that.  Teachers are far more valuable...duh).

The other thing that pisses me off is how taxes are managed and talked about.  Everyone should pay the same amount, a flat percentage based on income (including alternate equity for those tricky executives.)  The girl behind the counter at McDonald's should pay the same percentage of her pay as the CEO of Bank of America.   Sure there are arguments against that such as the rich can afford to pay more, alternatively by not letting folks write off their charitable donations or mortgage interest then people won't make donations or buy houses - but I think that's crap. I didn't buy a home for the tax write off, I don't donate to the charities of my choice because of the impact to my taxes, it's about need and humanity.  It seems that in the American dialog about taxes the idea of eliminating a tax cut is talked about as an increase in taxes.  Um... no.  If something costs $10 and it goes on sale for $8, when it stops being on sale the price is still $10.  I can see how, since these tax 'cuts' have been in place for ages that it seems like they are permanent, but if they were intended to be permanent, wouldn't the excellent legislators have made them permanent.  (Bwahahahahaha - foolish girl no, they don't have the balls for that.) 

Oh I could go on and on with my armchair economics.  Don't get me started on the highway robbery that is Estate taxes.  We got our cut of that money once - we shouldn't get a second crack at it because Daddy died.

I have to stop typing and go play on the floor with my baby.  It calms me down, much in the same way an animal is good for old people.  I guess that is why new Presidents always seem to get a pet.  "Here, you run this shitty operation, but in return we'll give you this cute puppy."  (Calvin Coolige had a goose, but an animal that does nothing but squawk, attack and poop seems Presidential to me in the modern day.)