It has been a rough couple days in the extended friend department. My friend and former colleague from MegaBank has been battling pancreatic cancer for two years now. He was diagnosed with stage IV, and through medical intervention and determination he's done a remarkable job. It's been painful, expensive and excruciating, especially since he's the father of a now five year old boy.
Jay and his ex-wife were, at the date of his diagnosis far from friendly with each other. These things happen - blame is easy to spread around. It's easy to vilify one party over the other when you are only presented with one side. I've never met Jay's ex-wife and based on things he's said about her I never wanted to. I can see how anger, hurt and whatever else he was feeling impacted his ability to focus on the things about her that made him willingly and happily marry her and then have a child together.
They have, in spite of not being able to be friendly, worked out how to live in the same geographic area for the sake of their young son. This has meant moving to Oregon, Florida and back to California to support their overall goal of being with their son.
Now, here he is having taken a terrible turn for the worst at home on hospice care and she, the "evil ex-wife" has moved in, put her world on hold to take care of Jay and ensure that their son makes it through this awful time. I really can't think of anything more beautiful to do for someone.
I see that Jay's very close friends are involved and supporting the three of them as a combined family unit. I wish I could be there to do something, but I guess the best I have to offer is appreciation for the fact that you can't or shouldn't judge someone based on limited information.
I'm sad for their loss, sad to be losing a friend and thankful he's with people who care.