Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Table for one

My list of things that are not fun for the single person to experience alone.

Trying to use half-off companion airfare coupons- I’m going to Spain and I’m taking me with me.
Board games & charades - hard to do with just one person.
Hide and seek – no matter how many times I play, I either find myself really fast, or I hide for hours on end and no one ever comes.
Horror Movies – it can be done, but it is hard to convince the stranger next to you to hold you during the really scary parts.
Putting up the Christmas tree – it’s just a little sad
Saturday night - the impression is that all your married friends are experiencing Sex-A-Palooza every Saturday night, and the singles who are couples are out on the town in their finest clothes drinking champagne and thanking their lucky stars they aren't on my couch watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
The New Years’ Eve kiss – the mirror is a little cold and it’s impossible to get the person in the mirror to tilt their head the other direction.
Choking – you can throw yourself over a chair, but it’s not as much fun as getting the hug of life from Matthew McConaughey.
Political Debate – I always win and while I feel superior it’s not much of a challenge.
Knock-Knock Jokes- “Ok, I asked you twice already… Who’s there?”
Valentines’ Day- This holiday sucks almost as much as new years’
Work events where spouses are expected - It's a strange place to bring a date, bringing your mom is sad, and dragging the cat is a career limiting move.
Edible underwear – no explanation needed

1 comment:

MWR said...

I guess you haven't seen the new Matthew McConaughey line of latex hand mirrors.