Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Dinner with old friends

I still love this blog.  honest.  Even if I leave it for periods of time.

I dragged Jason to a dinner party last Saturday night.  (This is an over exaggeration considering all I had to do was say,"Hey, my friend Robin invited us to dinner Saturday.")   However, since I seldom have to endure dinners with people I've only heard of, I wouldn't have blamed him if he had been apprehensive about spending the evening with these folks.  He's a good sport and my people are very enjoyable so he has enjoyed all my friends thus far and told me as we left Robin's that he thought they were nice people with very articulate kids.

Over the course of the evening talked about all the gossip of the work life we use to share and our common people.  We delved a little into politics (not much) and talked a lot about parenting.  It was great to get more perspective.  Their kids were interesting but still kid like.  I was happy that the evening wasn't too heavily weighed down by our common work history.  I'm still very interested in the success and well being of the company that Robin owns but if it was all we had in common can I just say... boring dinner party.

A few of my former beloved MegaBankers are guilty of falling into the rut of only discussing the demise of the bank or how they got screwed.  Sorry sweeties, we all got screwed (some to a much lesser degree) and if we're honest we were part of a massive organization that in some ways took advantage of people who have the tendency to trust rather than research.  I loved the work I did at MegaBank and I learned so much, but feel sick at how "the market" sold things like interest only loans and zero equity loans to people based on "stated income."  I am lucky in that I was far removed from the actual selling and processing of these dream killing products but I don't think I would let myself off the hook if I was in Hitler's Army but just processed payroll.   There is some forgiveness in remoteness, I mean they didn't convict Ted Bundy's housekeeper.  (These are very dark references - Hitler, Ted Bundy, Banking.  Time to lighten up.)

So, back to the point.  We had a great evening and it made me reflect on all the people I've known over the years that are close in geography but whose lives have become separate.  I still have love in my heart for them and try to keep in contact, but I guess this is how life goes.   We're about to embark on a journey that is going to make us less accessible to our people, but I know it is the right journey.  (By less accessible, I mean that we're going to be more closely tied to Lucy's schedule than our own.  I believe we will be raising a portable kid, but life as we know it will be changing.)  I think it is important to learn from everyone I meet, be a good friend even if it means simply checking in on them every now and then and remember that I'm never too busy to call and say "how are you:?"  Ok, maybe some days I am too busy to do that, but I can make an effort from time to time.

This isn't a pointed remark about anyone other than myself.  I'm talking about the former co-workers, old college chums and friends of friends I've met, connected with. and have faded away from.   I do have some very dear friends that I'm not able to see as often as I think we would all like, but I give us gold stars for making the effort to stay connected as our lives morph from teen to hip sassy 20's and now into our *gasp* middle age.   In fact, I'm super jazzed about a long planned girls get away that is coming up.  Multiple gold stars to us all for making time to do it.  It's going to be great - we're going to hang out, enjoy a fabulous lodge hotel and stay up to late.  I'm giddy with excitement.   I know it is not possible to plan events like this with all the people I've met and appreciated throughout my life, but I can be more outgoing and less self-involved.  (Me, self-involved!?  Get out of here.)

Perhaps that's the beauty of FaceBook, you can send genuine support to someone you use to have things in common with, but not suffer the awkward silences that might accompany the reality of lives that have really diverged.  It is nicely remote  (again with the Hitler's housekeeper thing.)

I guess, I'm just feeling grateful for time with an old friend and feeling nostalgic about those that I've lost along the way.

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