The "Drivers' Ten Commandments," as listed by the Vatican, are:
1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.
I. When merging the rule is ye go, thy go, ye go, thy go…. Take ye turn or ye shall burn in hell
II. When ye see that thy lane is ending, merge at the next possible safe moment, don’t zoom up to the front to by-pass all the safe drivers
III. HANG UP THE PHONE
IV. Pretend not to notice the people who art singing in thine cars.
V. If ye must pass gas, lower the window.
VI. Ye may sing along to songs with someone else in the car but ye may only sing the words to the song as you know them, and ye shall not make up melodies or harmonies.
VII. If ye has had too many cocktails or a nip at the briarweed – ye shall not drive.
VIII. Thine car shall not be a trash bin. (Toss Thy Shite!)
IX. Thine nose shall not be picked while in thee car
X. Speed if ye must, but stay a safe distance back or face the wrath of tpGal.