Vacation Pix - Summer 2014

A tame ride

a birthday present for me!

Vail Village

Gondola ride to the top

View from 10k feet

wild flowers

looks harmless...

and yet.. super wet!

The summit at Vail.

Toffee Nut Bread Pudding!

Lucy @ the Children's Museum in Denver

Monkey Bizness Gym

Vail!

Vanity

The mommy vanity buttons tweak pretty hard when the super polite 9 year old boy (son of a close friend)after enduring a day of playing games aimed at a 2.5 year old kid asks "can Lucy come sleep over at my grandma's house? We'll bring her back in the morning. "

Thanks Sammy, but she (and I) aren't ready for that (and your grandma would kick my butt if I tried.)

He was so sweet and happy to hang out with Lucy and play the silliest of games (i.e. dried noodles as sand and Jason's 40 year old Fischer Price toys.)

Changes

In a fit of non-productivity, I reviewed the posts on the baby blog that I kept leading up to the arrival of our girl.  I wish there was a way to archive the blog to keep it offline - perhaps I shall call the folks at shutterfly and talk about the need for this service.

It's fun to go back and get into my own head during the exciting time of waiting for the reality of where we're at today.  I scan those pictures from the ultrasound and try to make the leap to the face of the little girl who begged me to stay in bed this morning and drink more pretend juice and eat more pretend beans (M&M's).

There was such a level of the unknown during that time.  Anticipation and longing to know if this kid would bring the joys of parenting that people talk about.  We knew there would be agony and frustration, but people imply that it's all worth it.  Turns out - our girl is willful and tests us a lot, but she is happy in our home and we are happy with her in it.

Then

Now

Things have changed a lot since those early days.  Lucy jokes around with us, sure it's little kid humor but it's great.  This morning she climbed on Jason's back and we "lost her".  We looked all over the bedroom, under the bed for her.  She giggled and laughed as we searched.  I hope I never for get the sound of her little voice "I'm here Mommy, I'm right here."  When we found her I gave her a big hug and told her that I had missed her.  She hugged back and said "me too."  Come on... how awesome is that?

Lucy has 'things' now.  She loves her bike and thanks to bike days at school is getting quite proficient.  We take the tricycle to the park and she zips around.  She accepts the helmet and is happy to wear it.     She is also starting to want money - change really.  She likes it and asks for it.  Today she unzipped my wallet and found all the coins.  I explained that they were mine and that if she wanted money we could work out some chores for her to do to earn her own money.  Cleaning her room and picking up her toys shouldn't be earning activities, but we'll come up with something.

We were in Long Beach last weekend and while it was far from sunny and warm we had a nice time.  We abandoned the port-a-crib and took a small cot for Lucy.  It started out as a major failure, but ended up working out marginally well.  Once we moved the cot into the big closet in the room we were in she had her own room and was able to shut out all distraction and fall asleep.  For naps it was a lot like locking her in a closet, but when she fell asleep it was on the cot.  Night time was a lot easier.

The biggest thing it did for us was to confirm that it was time to convert her crib to the toddler bed.  We did it the day we came home and we hope that by Saturday nap time that she'll be so use to it that she WILL nap in it.   So far, it's been three nights and there have been no incidents of falling out although last night she woke up around 12:45 and seemed lost in the bed.  I went in and laid her back down and she was fine.    She was super tired as it was the final night of swim lessons and we got home LATE.  This is not a kid who regularly goes to bed at 9pm...that extra hour matters.

The 'new' bed!

We're about to leave for vacation and while we're only going to visit the Denver grandparents there is a lot of prep work to do.  I have a business trip earlier in the week and when I get back we leave less than 12 hours later.  This weekend will be a mush of packing, and planning.

I'm looking forward to vacation (even though I'm not being a very good employee right this second.)  The bookclub ladies were kind of surprised when I said that the trip was going to be fun.  It's reasonable to think that a vacation to the in-laws is more of an obligation than a vacation, but as I've said before the in-laws are good people who are relaxing and enjoyable to be around.

Let's do all keep our fingers crossed that Miss Lucy naps while there.  She was a bad napper when we were there last Summer, but I think we'll be able to wear her out more this time.

Oh, and because this is MY blog I can proclaim for the world (5 readers) that my big girl told me this morning that she needed to pee, and actually did it on the potty!  It's the 3rd time and it's not a huge trend, but today was the first time she took off her diaper to do it.  The other times it occurred at bath time so she was diaper free.

For the vacation, instead of hauling a stroller and a port-a-crib we'll be bringing a bicycle helmet and a toddler potty insert.  See... life changes quickly.

My uncomfortable truth

I, like a lot of people are heartsick over the jury decision in the George Zimmerman trial.  It appears that Florida is the place to go to get away with what seems like straight up murder.  Perhaps George and Casey Anthony can laugh about it over a beer.

The law is a complex thing but to me the "stand your ground" rule in Florida is flawed.  It says you can do anything to someone to taunt them, and then when they react you can get scared for your life and then kill them.   Stand your ground seems to mean that the clock doesn't start ticking legally until you say you're afraid, regardless of what you did to provoke the situation. That doesn't seem right to me.

I wonder if that means that Trayvon would have been acquitted if he HAD killed Zimmerman?  I mean, he was being followed and felt threatened, clearly for his life.    I doubt that the wheels of justice would have rolled his way had the night gone a different direction.

I will admit that I am not immune to profiling people.  I do it all day.

• Moms - safe
• Grandpas with kids - safe.
• Teenagers - kinda scary  
• Dirty homeless guy - unknown, walk wide 
• Salespeople at Starbucks - friendly 
• Counter lady at the Post Office - scary
• Loud, raucous group of people waiting for bus on 2nd & Pike - scary, avoid interaction
• Person in business suit waiting for bus on 2rd & Pike, not scary, but avoid interaction unless necessary.
• Person in a hoodie on a dark rainy night - unknown, avoid interaction
• Two 20 year olds on my door step in blue pants and white shirts - Mormons, be nice but so away.
• The dudes selling 'steak' door to door - potential robbers, be firm, take picture of car as they leave.
• The woman selling magazines door to door for points to help inner city kids - be nice, but no.
• Chris Brown - scary, entitled punk, thug
• Justin Beiber - scary, entitled punk, wannabe thug

Anyone who thinks that we will be a racially, socially blind society is crazy.  What we can be is aware of the preconceived notions we have about each other and try to be better.  I think it will be hard to be an urban black young man for many years longer than any of us are comfortable with.   But let's be honest, the inner city lawless thug is a person, he is not at all representational of all young black men, but he is real, and one that is glorified by movies, tv and music, and I find him a bit scary.  I may be a racist for having a category for the angry kid with a gun, but so be it.  I certainly don't think or place every young person of color into that category and the ones that do go there aren't all black.

I know people judge me too, I'm a middle aged white lady who drives a 2 year old around in a white mini-van.  I'm harmless right?  But, maybe you see an entitled, racist, elitist snob. I couldn't have anything in common or care about anyone who doesn't live on my block or drive my kind of car.  Surely not.

Profiling happens everywhere and all the time.  In the business world we meet people from all over the globe and interact on a common theme, but we've already created a false society because only the educated and smart people (and for some reason me) are invited to the workplace.   It's a racially diverse group and race isn't an issue, but it is not a socioeconomically diverse group, it is a whole bunch of "haves" and ramen eating future-haves.

"Lucky" for most of us, we get to point fingers at Florida and call them backwards as if it has nothing to do with us.  But, like many other things that are wrong, we owe it to ourselves to let them know we don't support their backwards ways.  Put the pressure on with your wallet, your vacation money and tell the businesses that operate in Florida that the laws are unacceptable.  Sure, Disney doesn't make laws in Florida, but they have influence and by not participating in socially right causes, they are implying approval.

Boycotting companies like Disney isn't my point, but an example of how 'we' can influence 'them'.   We have to do something.  Sitting around saying "shame on them" but not acting or speaking out is doing nothing.

I feel terribly for Trayvon's mom and dad.  I pray that they know that complete strangers care about their pain and that gives them some comfort.

Rock a my baby

Lucy singing to her friends at bedtime.

Science, Parties and FIremen

Science

It's a little unnerving when the art/science project of the day is presented at home.  This lovely bottle contains water, glitter and oil.  It is designed to demonstrate emulsion.  Let that wash over you... she's two years old.  EMULSION!?  Alas, I am supportive and encouraging but there is a part of me (not even a small part, nee a large one) that wonders what the holy moses is our day care thinking?  Sure, they glued the lid onto this portable container of 'you need a new carpet', but that kid can break through walls, dried hot glue will not stop her from the super satisfying task of opening a water bottle!

Secondly, we weren't told what the "used water bottle" would be utilized for when it was requested.  Had I known I would have dug deep into the recycling pile for plastics that contain NO recycled materials and are thick - like space shuttle window glass thick.  Instead, I sent Lucy into this art/science project with a bottle from the Costco water.  They pride themselves on the fastness in which their plastic breaks down.

Sadly, the emulsion bottle will likely be 'lost' while she's at school today. I hope this isn't heartbreaking. However, getting rid of it will also be a challenge as you can't simply dump a cup of oil down the drain.  I think perhaps the gravel garden on the far side of our house will have a sparkle to it for a while.  Sorry Mother Earth, day care hates you.

picnic in the park

Last night was the first concert of the Summer Thursday's at Pine Lake.  Our regular companions were occupied and we made the trek anyway.  Lucy still seems to love her chair that is perfectly Lucy sized and true to form didn't eat much dinner.  I thought the selection was kid perfect, grapes, pickles, turkey/cheese roll-up and a few potato chips.  I was wrong... she ate four grapes and some juice.  She's clearly not starving and there are nights when she eats and eats, so I'm not going to set my hair on fire when she doesn't.

Before we left for the park, Lucy and I walked down to the neighborhood picnic to say hello to the neighbors.  I suppose we should have made that our only activity for the night, after all I am the one who is sad we don't know the neighbors better, but in spite of what you think you know about me, I'm nervous about the walk up to newish people and chat scenario. I'm the illusive "omnivert" an extrovert with introvert traits.  That's for a different post.

The fire department was at the party and Lucy met her first official fire fighter, who was kind enough to give her a sticker even though she was hiding behind my legs.  I will miss that stage when it's over. She knew the truck was exciting and wanted her picture taken, but was sure to tell me that it isn't a toy. She knows a lot of things now.

The future firefighter

packed up and headed home.

Confirmed, you're old, that'll be $2,000.

The trip to the doctor yesterday was not a waste of time.  I did ice the knee all day, but the swelling didn't abate, but it wasn't (isn't) overly painful.  Making an appointment for something that is a 2 on the 0-10 pain scale makes me feel kind of like a whiny baby, but as I only get these two knees I figured I have the time to make sure we're not making things worse by sucking it up.

Our doctor is quite funny and seems to read me well.  He had me hop up on the table as I explained the story behind my trauma.  "Ok, so it's Pool, Baby, and Money right?"  Yes - those are the key points of my knee injury.  "I'm just going to write down the medical term for general clumsiness."  Whatever the insurance company will accept doc, that's fine by me.

I explained that the pain was present, but not sharp or consistent when I made regular movements like walking and moving around, but if I twisted quickly or tried to do that squatting thing it would hurt.  So, he pokes pokes and pokes. "Does this hurt?" No. "What about this?" No, and then he pulled or jabbed and I yelled loudly and grabbed his arm with all my might, and then started to laugh.  "So that is what we call a positive reaction." He says mildly deadpan while waiting for me to free his arm from my clenched hand.  At this point I wonder is he going to do it again? You know those doctors want to...do no harm, I don't buy it.  They are just as dark and twisted as the rest of us.  At the dentist... you know that 'test' they do where they "measure the depths of your pockets"  and poke your gums around each tooth?  They don't have to poke you, the x-ray can measure the pocket, but they get off on the poke.  Poke (giggle), Poke (giggle).  Bastards.   But Dr. K does not inflict the pain again, instead off to x-ray I go, where for some reason I have to re-explain the injury. Pool, Baby, Money.

Finally, back to the room and I wait a short moment for Dr. K to inflict pain on the kid across the hall.  After the screaming subsides he's back to me.  We review the x-rays where it is discovered that I have a broken knee cap.  This is an old injury unrelated to the pain of the moment, and I have no idea of when it may have occurred.  I give myself a gold star for living with such a traumatic injury and never once complaining about it.

My (broken) kneecap is displaced and I have a case of Patella Femoral Syndrome.  Sounds serious right?  Well, not really.  PFS is common among runners.   That is a true statement that I would swear to the Supreme Court.  However, as a stand alone statement it could be interpreted that I myself am a runner.  I have taken a 'run' or two, but am not as you may guess an avid runner.  I don't mind it, but my inner dialog is so distracting.  "You're going to die, you can't breathe, stop, you must stop, you're going to die if you take one more step."  It's hard to keep a steady pace with that going on.  Anyway, back to my super serious injury.  It turns out that people who lay carpet, or play on the floor with toddlers are also susceptible to PFS.

The treatment... rest & ice for 2 weeks, then some physical therapy to get the knee cap back where it belongs.  Thankfully, amputation is very low on the treatment lists.

Dr. K also said "you know that old joke 'hey Doc, it hurts when I do this...'  Yeah, well, if it hurts, don't do it.  I don't get to use that line often."   He's a funny one.

Also, my self diagnosis of arthritis was accurate.  But, this is not unexpected and my pain will be managed with my old friend tylenol.  Pain is a strong word at this point.

So, here I sit with ice on my knee and I'm about to make some appointments with the PT people.  I wonder, do they do "Hot Rock PT?"

An actual photo of me.

Perhaps I'm getting old...

I'll be seeing the doctor today for a minor issue with my knee.  Last week during the H-O-T weather we set up the inflatable pool but because it's so large (relatively so) we didn't want to plop it on the lawn, so we used the patio instead.  To protect the bottom of the pool and ourselves we put down some protective mats, but they didn't quite cover the entire bottom of the pool.  I tweaked my knee by accidentally kneeling on the edge of one of the mats and it did a number on the knee cap.


This weekend Lucy and I were horsing around and she stepped on my knee with her full weight and that wasn't great.    Yesterday I cashed in the giant pile of change at the coinstar machine and dropped the bag on the floor.  Squatting and scooping pulled whatever is bad in my knee to the point where it was noticeably swollen by the time I made it back to the car.

I do not think this is an amputation level injury, but I do worry while traversing the stairs that it's going to give out so I made a call to the doctor.   Jason, or rather Dr. Jason has diagnosed my situation as bursitis.  We'll see what Dr. K has to say about that, but to me bursitis sounds like an old persons situation.

But, I feel I should also confess that in addition to odd knee pain brought on by a two year old, the doctor will also be looking at my arthritic thumb and toe joints.  If only there was something wrong with my head and shoulders I could sing him a little song.

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes....

Humpty Dumpty

The AM snuggle

Swim Lessons

Summer!

It was an amazing weekend, the kind where you know that no moment has been wasted.

We did it all this weekend, dinner in the back yard, swimming, visiting friends, exhausting the kid and all things fun and great.

Saturday we zipped to the mall in the morning to check out the "amazing sale" at Eddie Bauer and decided to swing by the container store for storage items for the new storage bins in our loft.  I kind of went crazy with the selection and will likely be returning some of the haul.  There's form vs. function and the little discussed dimension of financial.  Yes, the new bins are pretty and they will function nicely, but are they necessary?  It remains to be seen.

Saturday night was our date with the boat pick up people.  During the back and forth emails I wasn't nervous about our decision to have dinner with these people whom we spoke with for about 30 minutes at the mall.   The 20% introvert side of me was worried that it would be awkward but from the moment we arrived it was relaxed and the conversation flowed fast and furious.   There was some pre-planning where the question was asked "any food or conversation topics we should avoid?" This is a great question.  In this day and age people's food issues are so complex that cooking for others can be quite the challenge.   But, since we had tentatively landed on beef as a protein I didn't think it was necessary to bring up Jason's aversion to salmon.  And, the walnut thing with me is not a fatal allergy and I am perfectly capable of picking them out of my food.   Also, I didn't mention that I'm still rather ruined on chardonnay after all - we were bringing wine.  On the conversation front, I figured I could hold my over opinionated tongue if we started to get into a squishy area.

I giggled when I got the email that read "change of plans, A wants to cook salmon, so bring an oaky chardonnay."    Truth be told, the salmon was amazing and Jason even inquired as to how it was cooked.  He told me in the car that he'd like to maybe try it sometime at home.  (On the grill - cooking salmon in the house is a no no.)    We didn't bring chardonnay and shared why.  Most people have a beverage (tequila, rum?) that the smell is so overpowering that it takes them back to a bad decision from their youth.  Hey, I was 42... stop judging me!

Alas, by the end of the evening the 'salmon' story was known by all and I don't get the feeling our new friends were insulted.  Honestly, it was some good fish.   Oh, and that kid.  She was served up a plate with cheese quesadilla, green beans, corn on the cob and eventually a cup cake.  What did she eat?  two bites of corn and about 6 of the crunchy fresh green beans from my plate.  The cup cake... nope.  ODD BIRD.

Sometimes the kids don't leave a party with the clothes they brought. We were able to donate a too small swimsuit to the far more petite (not quite the TALL child that we have) Noel and Lucy left with some sassy black boots that were too small for our hostess.  I couldn't get pants on Lucy so we walked to our car in a shorty shirt, a diaper and knee high black boots.  If she wasn't two it would have been an unfortunate wardrobe selection.

Sunday we worked hard to get to church early.  Pastor Kirby, the pastor who married us, has been elected as Bishop of the Northwest Washington Synod (that's a big churchy word.)  What does this mean?  Well, after 30 years, he will no longer be the senior pastor at our church.  We are happy for him and think he's going to be great, but we are so sad to no have him to ourselves anymore.   Sunday was his last day with SMLC and there was a big party.

Church was so packed (bigger than Christmas or Easter) that they filled the entry way with folding chairs and those folks watched the service on monitors.  It was an emotional service and I'm so glad we went - even though it was about 300 degrees in the chapel.  (Chapel isn't the right word because we aren't Catholic but I don't know the official Lutheran term.  Perhaps, 'worship space'.)   The service started at 10, and Kirby opened his welcome to us by announcing that his mother, who has been ill, passed away at 8:00 am that morning.  WHOA.  I hope that he and his family were comforted by the waves of love rolling at them all day.

After church we headed home to set up the pool.  The projected temperature for the day was supposed to be around 88 (turned out to be 93).  Getting that pool up and running was a priority.  Of course, on a day that we were going to be hanging out in the back yard all day, the neighbors across the way were bringing down two very large trees on their property.  The sound of the chainsaws was loud and not relaxing and it was sad to see the trees come down.  The process is interesting, but I hope they had a good reason for doing it.

In the high heat of the day, we retired inside to watch a movie.  We only watch movies with Lucy on the weekends and after hours in the sun, it seemed like a smart idea.  She happily ate her bowl of popcorn and drank her juice while enjoying the "bovie".

This morning she was bathed in a layer of sunscreen before heading to school and looked cute as a button in her red, white and blue t-shirt.  She's letting me put her hair up now and again and as you can see, I'm out of practice, but will do it any chance I get.

Tonight we start swim lessons.  Wish us luck!

dinner on the patio

cupcake lollipop

The doomed tree

Lake TP

relaxing in the late afternoon

ready for Monday

the aftermath

Love is love

I love the new cover of The New Yorker.  I'm sure the people of Sesame Street may have different opinions as to the use of their characters.  I've only thought in passing these two were more than friends, but in the end...I think it's a sweet way to acknowledge the idea that our gay neighbors are about as harmless as Bert & Ernie.

I'm pleased with the SCOTUS' decisions regarding the Defense of Marriage Act, and thankful for the California community regarding the ruling over Prop 8.  They could have made a far more reaching statement regarding this issue, but I respect their decisions.

There are still questions.  Jason and I were talking about how the DOMA ruling would affect a couple that was married in Washington but moved to a state where marriages are only legal for heterosexual couples.  Legally, the couple would still be married, therefore at the federal level they would still be entitled to the same benefits as a heterosexual couple.  Right?

Also at issue is are states allowed to restrict the rights that are granted at the federal level.  If a couple is legally married anywhere in the United States, their state of residence shouldn't impact their interaction with the federal government - should it?

When I worked for Social Security oh so many many years ago, the laws in Washington state had no impact on our application of the SS laws.

I read one of my former high school classmates opinions on the topic and it made me really mad, and sad.  He certainly represents a group of people who adamantly believe that marriage can only exist between a man and a woman.  I sure do respect his right to think that way and to never ever enter into a marriage with another man.  I don't respect the unkind and pretty close to hateful way in which he applies his logic.

The thing that really set me off was the statement that marriage is intended for the sole purpose to bring children into the world.  So if your union cannot produce children (because you're two dudes or two ladies) then it's not a marriage.  If it weren't a completely useless exercise I'd like to know at what point he thinks 'marriages' that haven't produced children should be dissolved?  If after 10 years a couple is barren or their child dies should they no longer be married?   Raar.

There will always be people who think that marriage between two women or two men is wrong.  I just hope that in time they become a smaller and smaller group and that their children and grandchildren will talk about their position in the same way that we speak of those who are still holding on to the notion of racial purity - with hushed and apologetic tone.  "Please forgive great aunt Millie, she still thinks it's 1948 in the south."

Anyway - it looks to be a stunning weekend.  The inflatable pool will be making an appearance at Casa LaTP this weekend.  Come on over if you need to sit in icy water with a 2 year old.

He's checking your mail

Barack Obama 10:00 AM (4 hours ago) 
to TPgal 

I was just going over the mail in your inbox and wanted to drop you a line to say, bwahahaha you're rather funny! 

These guys are standing around waiting on me to finish up so we can talk about budgets, but my heart isn't in it.  They think I'm busy because they can hear the clicking of my keyboard.  Fools, they can just wait.

Barack 
Sent from the Oval O

Goofing around

Yes, I am going to blog about poop (again?)

"I poo poo in da bed mama."

"Yes you did Peanut, but that was days ago.  It was an accident.  Everything is ok."

This has been our conversation after every nap and each morning as we start our day since Saturday afternoon.

The event itself was unexpected and we certainly tried not to overreact so as not to traumatize her, but it clearly had an impact.  She was doing the normal "I don't want to nap" complaints which generally last about 5 minutes before she zonks out for two hours or so.  Jason and I had lots of tasks to accomplish during the freedom window (nap) and were moving around the house quietly but quickly.  I came in from the garage and could tell that the no-nap cries had escalated to the point where it was clear that something was wrong.

By the time I made it upstairs, I heard Jason go into her room and a second later he calmly but urgently called out "CODE BROWN, CODE BROWN."   I was behind him in seconds.  He had Lucy on the changing table and was cleaning her up.  I grabbed wipes and did a collection.  After a quick flush I went back to scoop up all the bedding and friends (damn the stuffed animals and dolls) for a mid-day washing machine field trip.

There has been some debate among the adults in the house about when and how the diaper failure happened.  It has been at least eight weeks since Lucy has removed her diaper in the bed and she has never removed a pull up.  One theory is that the diaper came off during 'the event' rather than before.  We will never know how it happened, but I think the question of why is more of a karmic one rather than logical.  Parents of toddlers must experience this at some point.

With all the bedding in the machine and the flurry of activity around getting Miss Lucy put back together the possibility of a nap was zero.  She and I went downstairs for quiet time (Curious George) while Jason tried to finish some of the chores we had hoped to knock out together.

Later in the afternoon we sadly discovered that during the rapid clean up, Jason cleaned the kid, I cleaned the bed but neither of us located the actual diaper.  These fancy diapers are filled with super absorbent gel.  Washing machines are filled with water and the two together are a very bad combination.  The 'fabric' in the diapers is not strong enough to withstand the expansion that occurs during a wash / rinse cycle.  Upon failure, the diaper released thousands of small gel balls into the machine and all over the sheets and the wet furry friends.

The newly gelled sheets and friends were taken outside shaken violently then rewashed.  I'm pretty confident that if Jason had been observed shaking the naked, wet Raggedy Ann dolls on the front porch that the authorities would have been summoned.  While the stuffed animals were being violated, the washing machine had to be wiped out and vacuumed.  All around - yuck.

I think its kind of sad that the whole event has had such a lasting impact upon Lucy.  She looks so sad when she tells me that she 'poo poo in da bed'.  I try to be reassuring and we talk about using the potty and telling us before she needs to go.  My knowledge of psychological issues is limited to about five college courses in 1989 therefore I'm no expert, but I do recall that too much emphasis on the potty process can really screw a person up.  She's so young and I think it's too early to select the issue that she'll be in therapy over just yet.  I'd like to wait longer and see what my options are, I'm sure we'll find something much better than toddler poop.

My flowers.

A trip to the ER

Playing at Grandmama's.

Outlook, WA

It's been grandparent central around here and that has been fun.  Grandma & Papa came to visit from Denver and we had a grand time.  We tried not to over plan their visit so no big dinner parties were thrown.  Big is relative, in that our dinner with one couple, which would have been a meal for seven quickly turned into dinner for twelve.    These dinners are fun and with the extra hands isn't too much work, but as the person from the small family, I wish every now and then we could sit and visit with one couple at a time.

G&P were as ever in awe of how fast our little girl is growing and changing.  They noticed her bigger vocabulary and communication skills.  She certainly isn't one to let the things she "needs" go unnoticed.

Over dinner last night, Jason and I were discussing the fine line between letting go of what doesn't matter and standing our ground so she doesn't become a tyrant.  I'm sure in some circles we're totally violating the standard parenting rules about not giving in, but so far her attempts at manipulation are transparent and weak.

Although, she got to me last night with a hug and a perfectly timed "I you you Mommy!" (Translation: I love you Mommy.)   It was only after we got in our car to leave that I realized that by you-youing me, she was able to climb all over me while I ate - a big no no in our house.  Next time I'll be prepared with "I you you too, now sit down!"

It was Dad's 74th birthday Sunday, so a mere four days after the departure of the Denver Grandparents we packed the kid into the sexy swagger wagon and headed east.  Trips with the toddler take longer, especially when there are potty breaks involved.  However, she took a decent nap in both directions which is nice for us.  

Saturday, Lucy was periodically complaining about her tummy .  "Ouchie Mommy" is about at descriptive as she gets.  "Tummy Mommy" pinpoints the issue a bit more.  She seemed fine, but by Sunday she was back and forth between happy kid in the pool (see picture above) and having intestinal issues.  We left "early" Sunday night to head back to our hotel for a bath and to put our girl who didn't nap to bed.  After bath she was cuddly and clingy.  This is generally a sign that something is wrong.  We didn't have our temperature kit, nor our toddler drugs (tylenol/advil), but we could tell she had a low grade fever.  A quick trip to Target and Tylenol was dispatched.  However, at 9:00 she was crying and yelling "Ouchie Tummy Mommy".  

Maybe we over reacted, but a kid who is screaming (in a hotel room) and parents with no tools have few options.  We tried to calm her, but she was escalating with the yelling so off to the ER we went.  As we came in I was thankful it was Sunday rather than Friday or Saturday.  We only had to wait behind a kid (20-25) whose friend brought him in stating that he had been hit by a car and an older lady with heart pain.  Thankfully no bloody patients.    Lucy was crying on my shoulder and the triage nurse was semi-quick in acknowledging us to get us back into a room.

Regarding the check in procedure - if we have insurance why the heck did we need to tell the hospital where we worked and our job titles?  It seemed more like the collection of demographics than relevant to getting payment or health care for our person.  On one level I understand, but in the moment it irritated me to have to dig out an address for my employer when we're on Jason's insurance.  Parts of me are still 'in the moment."

Once in our ER room Lucy's temperature was taken in the worst of ways and it was high (noting that tylenol had been given over 90 minutes earlier) so they did some tests, poked her tummy, took a throat culture and sadly for everyone involved did a urine analysis.  The nice thing about being able to pee on command is not having to use a catheter to get the sample.  I've held Lucy for at 90% of the shots she's received and all of her pediatric exams but nothing could have prepared me to hold her arms while they took that sample.   Heartbreaking.

Her tests came back ok, and she finally calmed down and fell asleep.  They didn't seem to treat us like we over reacted, and gave us some information about how to check a temperature, give medicine and change her diaper.  I think they didn't have anything else to tell us and since they don't know us gave us the most basic of kid management information.  I took it well because I was waiting for them to get to something new, but they didn't.  We left the ER around eleven and thankfully Lucy went right back to sleep.  She woke around four crying "ouchie", but a quick rub of her back and some comforting words and all was quiet until about seven.

She was still experiencing tummy issues Monday, but her fever was gone and she was her normal busy self again.  I was a bit worried that they were going to send her home from daycare Tuesday, but she was fine.

Lucy hasn't complained about her tummy since Monday and even ate most of her dinner last night.  Happy and eating - that's a healthy kid.  Whew.

This weekend we will not be hosting visitors, nor will we be driving anywhere significant.  I'm sure Lucy will be bored and wonder why we never take her anywhere.  I for one and looking forward to some quiet.  Oh, except come Sunday we're off to our first "Toddler Birthday Party" for one of the kids at Day Care.  Now it starts... gifts for kids we don't really know.  Can you say "books"?

A rose!!!

Bath Time Burrito

Lucy asked to be wrapped up snug after her bath last night.  She looked so cute and was having fun, so I captured this video.

Lucy makes some friends.

Lucy found my Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy dolls that my grandmother made for me when I was little.  She hasn't shown any interest in them until yesterday.

She napped with them and last night at bedtime asked for the 'friends'.  I went in to check on her and ensure she had a blanket and found her and the friends in the dark sitting on her pillow.

Miss Lucy seemed pretty pleased with herself.  I had to run downstairs and grab the camera.  I think my grandmother would be pleased that the dolls are getting a second life.

I did ditch most of the clothes as they were extremely tattered and seriously out of style.  I may have been the only kid in 1973 with Raggedy Ann dressed like Maude.   Lucky me, I had about 6 color coordinating polyester pant suits with bum covering vests.  So kicky!  My grandmother made a lot of her own clothes, partly out of frugality and partly out of a desire to have clothes that fit her frame.  She was a tall woman with a generous bust.  I don't remember her shopping for anything other than coats, undergarments, shoes and stockings.  I think she made everything else.  Now that I think about it, Raggedy Ann and Andy each had outfits that matched something in my grandmother's closet.  The barbies did too.  It must have been difficult to sew tiny polyester pants for Barbie, but my grandmother did it.   Thanks Elsie!  Miss you.

Grandma Elsie

Maude

Yucko

Testing a feature with a cute picture

A different kind of pickup

One of the challenging things about being "older" parents is that most of our peers are so far beyond the baby stage that they look at us with a profound sense of relief.  I can see the looks of "wow, thank goodness it's them and not us" in their eyes as we deal with a cute, but willful toddler.  Many of the old high-school gang have kids that are starting and even finishing up college.  Even the college friends who 'waited' to have kids are dealing with the trauma of high school, but here we are talking about moving Lucy to a big girl bed and worrying about our it'll happen when it happens potty training philosophy.  These friends love our girl and enjoy her, but it's with a grandparentish feeling.  You know, hop them up on sugar and then send them home.   The idea of playing in the mini-kitchen EVERY DAY is not something that sounds awesome, to these wonderful people.  They've done their time in the Kid Kraft Kitchen.  (I just noticed the K.K.K. - is Lucy playing in a racist kitchen?)

We have a great set of allies in this journey in JoJo's parents.  They are young, energetic and seem to tolerate us well.  The girls love each other and I know Lucy asks for JoJo almost every day.  It is wonderful to have family who are friends who are going through the same thing we're going through.

However, we've talked about how it would be nice to have some more friends who are around our age and have a kid or kids that Lucy could bond with.  We're attracted to the parents of one of the kids at school.  Lily and Lucy are pals and Lily's mom is great.  She's also pretty full up with friends and family in her own world.  I stalked her for a bit trying to make a mom to mom connection, but alas we are friendly, but not friends.

Today, in the never ending quest for things that are fun and burn energy we took Lucy to Bellevue Square to play on the boats in the Kid's Cove. (See... you can have alliteration without doing a nod to our shameful friends.) Lucy still loves the boats and I love the containment as well as the soft play area.  Lucy made friends with a shorty today who looked to be about her age (turns out is about 3 months older) .  As Lucy and N. played N's mom and I started chatting.  I've tried to talk up other parents at the Cove, but it hasn't gone well.  Mostly I manage to scare tired nanny's or grandparents, but N's mom was funny, open to talking and very friendly.   While the girls ran and twirled, we introduced ourselves.  After about 30 minutes a wonderful thing happened... N's mom asked me for my phone number.  Excited, I gave it up willingly and then horror washed over me.

"You don't sell Amway, do you?" I asked without any fear that if the answer was yes that it would be offensive.  It would be..but then I'd simply be offending an Amway salesperson and I think it's allowed.

S. laughed and said she was a writer.  When she asked what I did I used the simplest explanation that I've managed to work out that doesn't take four hours to explain "IT Security".  This is where S lured me in and stroked my easily bruised ego "Oh that's not what I expected, you're so funny I expected you to be a comedy writer or something."  (Somehow this blog doesn't quite qualify.)   I did and do admit that my day job is rather, um... unfunny.  I do like it though, so what can I do?  I'm like a super hero, unfunny during the day, but when the situation arises I set aside my Security Policy Framework and drop witty one liners to fill empty, awkward silence.

After the girls kissed and hugged good-bye, we waived to our new acquaintances and headed on our way back to our regularly scheduled day.  In the car I mentioned to Jason that it was nice that she asked for our contact information and that even though I'm clearly excited about the prospect of getting to know these also-40ish parents of the uber friendly N, I'm not the one debating when it would be appropriate to make contact.   For once, I don't have to be the stalker.

So, we'll see if a play-date ever happens.

Cuteness!!!

Swingers

shoes

Shampoo or Duck Poop?

Tulip

Success!

Lucy came home from her first day in Young Preschool* happy and well rested.  She didn't seem phased by the change at all and even took a 2.5 hour nap in the new room.

They said she ate all her lunch, but I don't really buy it.  However, I'm long past the need to worry that she's starving.

I think she's a thief though.  She came home from school with about 6 tiny rocks in her pocket.  We are storing them in our own rock garden for later.  Today... her outfit has no pockets.  Bwahahaha.

The new arrival into the classroom means potty training has officially begun.  We were asked to swap out her little person diapers for pull-ups.  They will practice sitting on the mini-potty at school at least three times a day.  At home we will support the program with potty time before bed and first thing in the morning.

I bought all these books about potty training and now I think I'm just going to go with the flow (bad pun).   At home we have what I call 'donuts' as they remind me of the squishy things my grandpa used for his bum, but it sits on the seat of the loo and makes a smaller seat for the toddler bum.  Lucy seems to like them and they are great for training.    However, once she gets the hang of this new concept we'll have to do some practice on our loo without the donut so that it isn't traumatic when we're out in public and have to just go.

See, with every new skill things get a bit more complicated.  My mom says that when Lucy is fully potty trained then she will take her camping - alone.  Boy oh boy, would I love to see that.  I think we'll be waiting until Lucy is at least 4 and has a fighting chance of not playing with the fire pit.

The weather is warming up and tonight after school we will be in the back yard again with the bubble machine and the new water table.  There is a 90% chance of cousin JoJo dropping by, so it could be a wonderful evening.

My $10 bubble machine from Safeway had it's initial outing last night, but it's not a quality product as it stopped producing bubbles after it was attacked by an excited 2 year old monster.  Hopefully it rested well and will be up for an evening of entertainment tonight.

* I was incorrect with the name of her class.  It is not Early Beginners.

Graduation!

We had a fine ending to our day yesterday.  She enjoyed a bath, watched a 15 minute snip of Curious George and then read books with Dad and off to bed.

The day care sent home a letter last night that said that all kids who are expecting classroom changes will do those changes on June 21.  Oh, I was not a happy mommy regarding this news.

Lucy is currently in the "toddler" room and that room is designed for kids 12 - 24 months.  The next classroom "Early Beginners" is for kids 2-3 years old.  The activities are far more group oriented and a stronger mix of education and play vs. just play. We've been anxious for Lucy to move on up, but understood that there needed to be availability.   I did hear through the grapevine that 2 kids were leaving and therefore I was irritated that we would have to wait another two months.

However, today Miss Martha informed me that Lucy will start her transition TODAY.  She'll be spending time in the EB and on Monday she'll be in that room full time.

I'm thankful for this change.  Lucy has friends in the new classroom and I expect that her language skills will expand within weeks.  I'm also thankful that I'm not traveling this week or next.  It will be good to have Mom home during this transition time.

I doubt there will be a ceremony with a cap and gown, but when we moved from the Infant room she got a certificate.  OOh... a certificate.

Oh no!!!

Tonight looked to be really iffy in the "serene family" category. Lucy refused to get out of the car after Dad picked her up from school. After a small melt down over the horrible disappointment of not being offered a cookie right before dinner a larger and far more epic meltdown occurred when we meanly put water in Lucy's water sippy cup. We are ASSHOLES!!!

Miss Nude 2013 did a marvelous version of Meg Tily in Agnes of God, but without the blood. She has the face down, crucifix position down pat.

She allowed herself to be sat in the high chair for dinner, but the wailing continued. She needs to work on her strategy tho... Lucy held her ground solidly when Dad asked her if she wanted cheese on her noodles. "No Daddy!!! Waaaaa". But, when I followed behind (unknowingly) offering her cheese in her noodles she uttered a pathetic and slightly thankful "yes pease".

She kept up her wailing for a good ten minutes into our family dinner. Then, as if she forgot why she wad pissed she smiled and ate her dinner and even got the elusive cookie from earlier.

Now we're about to have a bath and an earlier than normal bedtime. I think maybe its Monday.

Yard

We made some changes to our tiny back yard.

We had a small raised flower bed put in along the back fence.  We also had our man (the name my grandfather used for his contractor) add gravel along the south side between us and the neighbors.  Joseph put in boards along the fence line to keep the gravel from migrating to the neighbors.  As it was all the original  decorative rock has moved south (as their yard is lower in elevation than ours.

before (north)

Before, south)

We had the patio expanded the summer we were pregnant with Lucy, and we asked Joseph to add gravel to the side where the grass simply wouldn't thrive.  He also had to patch a section where the yard took a beating during the construction of our flower bed.

  

after, south

North side, just storage, pavers by TP

North, yard

We extended the retaining wall all the way to the back of the yard and then filled it in with dirt. We gained about 4 extra feet of useable yard. Before, it dipped down into an abyss designed, I guess to trap small children.

plants!

annuals to fill out the new perennials

The bed under the window.

A Panorama

I miss you too!

The full time job thing, the mom thing, the wife thing and the trying to be a good person thing sure gets in the way of having time to humorously snark about life on this blog.   I do miss it and there are moments when I think, oh I wish I could capture that moment and blog about it.  Here's the summary of happenings:

Our 2 year old is acting her age.  She is happy in the morning, likes to come into our room and snuggle before we get moving.  She prefers to hang with me but will give Jason some loving and if I'm not home he is perfectly perfect to cozy up to while she wakes up.  I think it's sweet that she will nestle in close to my side and root around to find my arm and make sure that I'm hugging her.  It is less sweet that she doesn't let Jason cozy in.  I mean, if his hand wanders over to give either of us a loving pat on the arm, she takes his hand and pushes it away.  He does a pretty good job of not getting his feelings hurt and I remind her that he was my boyfriend first.   She also has to endure kisses between mom & dad.  (Nothing X rated, but I think it's important that she sees that Mommy loves Daddy too.)

Getting dressed for school is usually a mini-battle.  I can see that she doesn't want to go to school, but once we're on our way she's happy as a lark.  She likes her friends, she likes the art activities and when they get to play outside (which is any day that it isn't raining) she comes home super tired.  Now that she's two she's allowed to go over onto the big play equipment and I know she's digging that.

When she's super tired after school it is a challenge to get through dinner.  She likes to pull up her step-stool and hang out in the kitchen while we cook.  I let her "help" and that can be as easy as her directing where to put the bowls and which egg to crack or counting (to two) the number it items we'll be using.  Sometimes she gets her own bowls and a few fish crackers to sort while I do chopping.   When it comes time to use the stove we use the power of two parents to divide and conquer.  One parent goes with Shorty to her play kitchen while the other messes with the real kitchen.

Dinners are hit and miss.  Sometimes she eats and sits at the table like a champ, and others she's too busy, tired or bored to play nice.  When we make a real dinner, she eats what we eat and other dinner options aren't offered.  However, like last night where she made a wonderful dent in her chicken stir fry she was offered a yogurt.  I know she wont starve to death on the nights where she doesn't eat, but I'm happier when she eats.

We are in a state of constant motion from the moment she comes in the door until she's in bed.  Thankfully, that is still pretty early. Eight p.m. is the magic moment of her door closing and we get to high five each other and go do adult things.  Last night, "adult things" was to really clean the kitchen floor and then watch Survivor.  I know, I know, too much sexy.

In other parts of our life, we have some friends who are going through a terrible trauma.  Our job is really to be supportive.  A group of gals took a day to go see them (they are in an out of town hospital) and it was an experience I'll probably remember my whole life.  I tend to hide in my cave when things are really bad and I find it hard to allow people, even those I care about and trust into that vulnerable space.  Well, my friend is in that cave and she generously opened up and let us in.  We all walked away feeling hung over and emotionally spent, but I hoped that we were sponges and wicked some of her pain, anger, hurt, fear, disappointment, and every other emotion she's going through.  I know that the four of us can't possibly take all of it away, but maybe for that day it lightened her load a bit.   Also, I think that being a part of the beginning of this journey she's on will help smooth the way to be able to support her in the long run.  Instead of being filled with "oh what should I say, what should I do?"  Now I know what she wants and it is something I absolutely have to give.  How strange is it that the simple answer to the question of what to do for people in pain is: "love me like you did before."

Part of our visit involved getting her into a safe space where she could say all the things you're not supposed to say when going through something really hard.  I think if you're in the midst of hell you get to say what you want about your own fears, pain, anger or whatever and your people are required to let it bounce off.   I do think it's important to know when this 'say what you need to' is appropriate. It was clear to me that I had no advice to give, all I had was a kind ear and the occasional agreement that some of the "go to" things that people say to be helpful simply aren't. Things like:

1) God has a plan.
2) God won't give you more than you can handle.
3) Doctors can be wrong, everything will be just fine.
4) Don't give up hope.
5) Have you tried to do XXXX?

1& 2: The God business is rough.  I believe in God, albeit not in the ghostly white ball of light way, but in the there can be beauty in all things way.  I don't think God takes time to decide when we're going to get cancer or hit by a drunk driver or die of old age.  I think God is in the people who come to our aid and comfort us in those dark times.  God is part of the "I guess I'll take one more step" spunk that some of us pull from nowhere.   I call it God, you may call it something else and that's fine.  But, damn it, don't use God to explain away the dark, terrible things that happen.  These things are part of life and we will all go through death in one way or another.  Sure, we may grow from these experiences and be a different person or maybe even happy on the other side, but pick your moment to talk about God when dealing with folks who have to remember to breathe from second to second.  With that said, please pray like crazy for your friends if that's your thing.  They may not believe in it, but if you do - send those good intentions into the world.  It can't hurt.

3: Doctors can be wrong.  Indeed, but you my friend are not  a doctor.  If a diagnosis is from a real, honest to betsy, knows how to bill insurance doctor, then shaddup about the Neurosurgeon being wrong.  Chances are, by the time your friend tells you what the doctor has said they've seen a couple doctors.

4: Don't give up hope.  This seems harmless, but to some folks, hope is risky.  Hope can open you up to more pain.  Again, this is all about knowing your audience.  For some, expecting the worst is a way of protecting their hearts.  My friend said this exact thing, and I told her that I would do the hoping for her.  Someone needs to hope and if you don't have it, I'll do it!

5: Have you tried XXX?  See #3.  All experiences are different and the all fruit diet that Aunt Mertha used to clear up her pancreatic cancer may not be the best option for me.  One of the things that I think is the most scary about dealing with something like cancer is that there isn't a map.  First you'll go here for 3 weeks, then here for 2 months, then we'll do this.  It's pretty much different for each person.  If you have a good doctor referral, give it up.  Other than that just, listen listen listen then listen some more.

In the end, even those folks who say the wrong thing (often that's me) only mean well and are trying their best.  It's important to remember that when reacting to the oddball things that are said.  Now, if someone suggests that it is your own fault that terrible thing X happened to you, you're allowed to pop them in the nose.  Clarification:  if you're about to get a Darwin Award then it may be your own fault and hold the nose popping for further analysis.

So, I'm filled with perspective this week.  I'm over the moon happy with my life these days and yet that real world stuff oozes in.  I suppose this is real life.  Oh how I'd like to punch it in the throat every now and then.