Health...mental and otherwise

So it turns out that this pandemic thing is wearing on me.  I am go grateful for our home, these people who are here and a solid steady job.  My experience is really nothing compared to folks who have lost jobs, businesses and family.  I have this perspective - I am lucky, I am ok.  However, I am tired.

It is no secret that I enjoy traveling for pleasure and for work.  Those little jaunts to San Jose are good for my career and my well being.   I haven't been since January and I honestly don't expect to go at all in 2021.

We cancelled multiple vacation plans in 2020 - the first being a spring break cruise to Mexico, which for a brief moment was a week in San Diego hanging out at a luxury hotel.  We cancelled the cruise (before the cruise line cancelled the sailing) and booked ourselves on a Western Caribbean cruise out of Miami 1 year later.  That sailing is scheduled to leave Miami on April 3rd, 2021, but as of last week, the cruise line has cancelled all sailings thru February 28th.   Realistically, a cruise the following month is not wise, even if it did happen.   Ships sailing from other ports are being turned around after a single person tests positive.  No one wants a repeat of the initial ships that were stranded with people getting sick.  Especially not for something as optional as a pleasure cruise.

With the window of likelihood for sailing in April dwindling, I found a similar sailing in 2022 and moved our reservation.  Oddly, the cabin was the same (a balcony) but it's in the "Concierge Class" which comes with lots of perks.  The fair was actually cheaper, and do I love perks.   Unfortunately, our travel companions didn't book within the same haste as us, and while on the ship are not in the special category.   To be honest, I think their original fare was much less than ours and the move to the CC wasn't practical.   Provided the sailing occurs, we'll use the CC perks to reserve the activities we had little hope of being able to book as lowly new customers.    We could get our money back at this point, but I am looking forward to this cruise.  And, technically, our travel companions could book into the CC class, but they don't seem too interested in adding an extra $4000 to their vacation costs.  Sheesh, some people.

We are trying for an alternate activity to replace the now moved cruise.  We have two - two bedroom villas reserved in Palm Springs for the week of spring break this year.   I've never been to PS, but I love sunshine, a pool and not washing my own sheets.  It's been fun researching a new location for things to do, but I just looked at the travel restrictions in Palm Springs and unless things get better it looks like we won't be going there either.   

A lot can happen between now and April, I hope that people do their part and stay home for Christmas - like they didn't do for Thanksgiving, and that this vaccine works (and that it doesn't have long term ill effects that we can't foresee).   

Our summer travel plans have shifted quite a bit.  Instead of using my sabbatical to  go to New York as planned last summer, the rescheduled time off will include a 1 week house rental at Seabrook in July.  Fingers crossed for good weather.  Our good neighbors will come join us for some or all of the week which will be fun.  The rest of the time off will be spent doing other things - maybe time at the lake with Marty & Lynne or if Lucy can go to summer camp a few days that's just Jason and I somewhere.   

The sabbatical program is wonderful, but it is hard when your partner doesn't get the same time off.   I expect that I'll take the peanut to go camping with Grandma G.

The other activity I am mulling is to change the flooring in my office.  I was thinking a fabulous tile floor would be great, but Jason would be more comfortable extending the hard wood floors.  I agreed that if we can find the same exact flooring that I would agree to using it, but if not - I get to mix it up!  Tile or a different (darker) carpet.    It will be a big job - obviously we will hire out the actual floor material removal and replacement, but there is a LOT of stuff in this office.  (Especially at Christmas)  Some of it may be time to part with, but other stuff I love.  I do think better storage could make a difference.  So, the planning for that has begun to form in my head.  

Anyway..here we are, all plans and nowhere to go.

So this is crazy...

  Here we are, 263 days into the Covid-19 stay at home situation.  Lock-down is the wrong phrase, as we are free to go where ever we want and while our household is choosing to stay home as much as possible we still visit the grocery store at least once a week and do takeout food 1-2 times a week.   We are not locked in our house Anne Frank style.  

However, we celebrated the second of the big three family holidays with just the three of us.  July 4th is usually a big family gathering, Thanksgiving is the other 30+ people event and we will be passing on Christmas as well.  

Summer was easy to manage as we had lots to do outside, backyard pools, distanced hanging with the favorite neighbors and good weather.   Thanksgiving was a different event.  We made our own dinner and, honestly it was pretty good.  A bit too salty, but better than dry and tasteless.  

The picture shows the settings I've just allowed on my phone, which means that I should get an alert if I'm at the grocery store and someone who is positive is within 6 feet of me.  I cannot really accept that I'm giving others the ability to track me within 6 feet, but until we're clear of this virus, I'll keep it active.  I can turn it off (in theory.)   There is a small piece of me that wonders if it's a big plan to whittle away our privacy, but I know people in the medical field and they cannot be lying about deaths.  

We are doing well, planning for a quiet Christmas.  We will be mailing our holiday gifts to our beloved parents this week.  I wish they could come, but it's not smart.  

The good news is that the (sorry) fuck-tard trump did not win a second term and grown ups will be returning to the white house in January.   Mr. Biden was not my first choice, but I'm very happy.   He's packing his cabinet with qualified people and many of them are women.  I hope that we don't pay for this moment of sanity in eight years when the GOP elects a literal bag of shit.   Common ground would be nice, but tRump...what a nightmare.  I would hope the GOP could find a candidate that would stand for their values without being a racist, whorey bag of crap.   And, (while I'm at it) be against abortion, but maybe let's make it irrelevant vs. illegal.  The un-aborted baby is a human who will need support, especially if the mother wasn't in the position to have a child in the first place.   

Oh man... ranting.

We are safe, we are happy, the tree is up.  

Drive-thru dance show behind a tavern - the most Renton thing ever.

Instead of a show on a stage in a theater, this year's dance recital is in a parking lot...

I suppose this is much better than no recital, but it also feels like a way to justify not refunding the costume fees.

The dance studio is working hard to make dance a reality in this moment of separation.  I am hopeful that when (if) school resumes next year that in-person dance classes will happen.

Now, the big question is will they do the summer dance classes via zoom as well.  I really hope not because keeping her attention for 4 hours will be challenging.

George Aubrey and others

I am not an eloquent person, but I want to put out to the universe that I want my lovely neighbors and beloved friends of color not to live in fear.

It’s not ok with me, a policeman’s daughter that they don’t experience the peace officer as a source of safety but as someone who might end their lives if they don’t act perfectly. It is ok with me that we are taking to the street to make it known it is time for a change.

It’s not ok with me that that the smart, lovely son of my community was followed home from the grocery store and threatened with violence by their neighbor who said he didn’t belong because he’s a strong athletic black “man” (he was 14). It is ok with me that our local police department came into their house and listened for over an hour to get the details and reassure this scared boy that he is entitled to his neighborhood and that he matters

.It’s not ok with me that folks are breaking into and looting businesses. Their actions are taking away from a needed protest. It’s ok with me that non-violent protesters are still showing up. It’s ok with me that there are some folks who can only help by praying, expressing their hope by participating in feeding programs.

It’s not ok with me that the President uses military level force on protesters to clear the way to hold a photo op on the steps of a church building while holding a prop. This action is no more Christian than it would be Jewish if he was holding a Torah on the steps of a Temple. It’s a show, and I don’t buy it.

The pain my coworkers, friends, and neighbors are feeling is real. My love, support, and prayers go out to them. I hope we can see beyond the distraction of the looters and agree that even someone has possibly broken a law can be taken into custody without having their life ended, or go for a jog without having their life ended or being a lawful gun owner without having their life ended or having a tail light out without having their life ended or playing cops & robbers in a public park without having their life ended, or react badly when police randomly/mistakenly break into their apartment without notice without having their life ended, or walk home from the corner mart with skittles, or...or...or..

For the record, I have never lived in fear of any of these things...we should ALL feel that way.

Peace

There's a point in our church service where we pass the peace.   We stand up and greet those around us with a handshake and say "God's peace" to each other.  There are hugs with friends and a kiss to my own family.   Truth be told, it stretches me as a closet introvert.   I'm comfortable greeting those whom we sit near every Sunday but seldom do I cross the room to others.

One Sunday about three years ago I was jolted when I noticed an older man in the back of the church.  His pale yellow-pink coloring, lack of hair, and larger body frame made me think it was my dad.  My breath caught and my brain caught up with my eyes as a wave of emotion that included the always present undercurrent of loss and regret passed through me.  How many phone calls did I cut short because dad was retelling me a story from years ago, or how many weekends that I could have visited that I did not because I wanted to sleep in, or go out with friends? 

The next time I saw him, I made a point to walk his way and reach out my hand to extend the peace.  He casually took my hand and it was shocking that his skin had a familiar paper-thin, but warm feel.  As I returned to my seat with my own family, again my eyes were moist with a feeling of connection to my dad.

So, now I'm a thief.  When I see him, I make a point to shake his hand and pass the peace.   I don't know his name and while I hope he's a happy person in a happy life, I don't need to know him.   I just want to touch him, and I know I am stealing from him.  The hand I hold for those three seconds isn't his, it's my dad.  That kind grasp and minute squeeze is a hug, a stolen touch of my father across the boundaries of life and death. 

I am careful not to be overly effusive when I take from this stranger what I want.  I give him a warm smile but no bigger than the people I greet on the aisles as I make my way towards him.  I don't want to scare him or let him know that I've got ulterior motives.  When I greet him with my "Good morning, God's peace." I'm really saying "thank you".

Dad would be 81 this week.  I wonder which story he would tell me when I called him Tuesday to wish him a happy birthday.  It would be nice to hear his voice as he talked through current events,  told me I'm doing a good job of parenting, or teased us about having an electronic gadget for every need.   We won't have those conversations ever again, but I have a secret.   When things get back to normal and we can attend church in person, I get to shake his hand and carry that familiar touch in my heart.

The more things change

Summer camp is officially canceled.  I think I knew it was not going to happen this summer, but when the news came I was pretty emotional.  Lucy took it better than I did if we're honest. 

It softens the blow that we were able to change our week plans to all go to the fabulous lake house.  A week of being on the water, mini-golf, real golf (for Jason), and evenings on the patio will be delightful. 

We canceled our trip to Canada in July and rented a house at Seabrook instead.  With the borders still closed it seemed silly to hold out hope and end up with a week off and nowhere to go.   We will shelter in place in a different place. We will cook all the same meals but in a different kitchen.

The fun thing will be being at the beach, a change of scenery, and forced time away from work, home chores. Oh, and a hot tub.   Maybe the Seabrook pool will be open, and maybe I'll feel comfortable taking Lucy, but with a hot tub in our backyard we won't be forced to do it to get the waterplay in.

Our (rented) Beach House

Perspectives

The list of things I am grateful for is endless.  My partner in this mess is pretty easy to be with, and our home is comfortable enough for us to all have our own spaces to nest in when needed.   We are both working, and homeschool while not perfect is going better.

Still, I am worried, and bored and heartbroken for all that is lost and changed.  Two of my neighborhood friends were laid off this week as a direct result of all this change.  One, a cruise consultant (salesperson) and the other a property manager, both very qualified and lovely people. 

While our employment is solid, I am not eager to spend any extra money and have been putting extra into our savings each month just in case.  We're back up to where we were before I had to bail out a family member out of a mess.  Still, I worry about:

1) Food shortages 

2) Income loss for families

3) Health concerns that aren't covid related.  Will we be safe to go to the ER if needed?

4) Will Lucy's long term impacts be significant?

5) Will we lose someone close to us

6) Will this always be a politics issue?

7) That Trump will get re-elected

8) That even if he doesn't the new order of lies and deflection has hurt our country beyond repair

9) That I'll never get to hug family again

10) Vacations are a thing of the past.

and on and on and on

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday.  We were supposed to depart for San Diego this morning, and I won't be looking up the weather at every pace we were supposed to be next week but I do take a bit of comfort in that it's 57 and raining in San Diego today.

Having taken some time to think about it, my sabbatical will be postponed as well.  Probably next summer.  It super sucks to wait another year, but it's better to wait than to take the month off and do nothing.

I'm still going to take the first week in August as vacation and enjoy the week where Lucy is (hopefully)  in summer camp and I'll hang at Marty & Lynn's at Lake Roosevelt.

We'll see what next year brings.  Maybe a two-week European vacation.  Lucy would love to go to Paris and Jason wants to go to London.   I could get behind it. 

Covid Thoughts

April 4, 2020

Schools have been canceled and will not resume this year 2020. Lucy will finish third grade at home.
Cell phone companies are giving away months free so that people can stay connected. Internet data Gigs are being added so that people can stay in touch.
“Social Distancing” is the new norm and is expected to be happening long after this wave of COVID-19 is over...if ever!
Medicines are being fast-tracked to try and save lives. A vaccine is our priority!
Tape is on the floors at grocery stores and other locations to help shoppers remember to stay 6 feet apart.
Hugs are no longer felt but expressed!
We are lucky to be working from home. People deemed "essentials" have to go out and work, this is more than the police, fire department and hospitals. Grocery workers and delivery people are in an unfortunate situation where they have to be "out" in the word but are risking their lives each day.
Some stores are limiting the number of people allowed inside. Seniors are those most vulnerable to the virus and get their own private shopping times.
“Non-essential” stores and businesses are being mandated to close. Businesses that were thriving on the end of February of 2020 may never open again.
Unemployment is likely to exceed the Great Depression of the 1920s.
Parks and trails are closed you cannot camp, you cannot fish.
Entire sports seasons have been canceled.
Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - canceled.
Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings - canceled.
No in-person church services. Sundays we tune into Facebook live and watch the pastor do her stuff.
It began as no gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, then 10 or more and now no more 3 people can be together if they stay 6 feet apart. At this point, it is regulated by information, but in places like New York the fine can be $1000.00
Children's outdoor play parks are closed.
There is a shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line medical workers.
People are making masks to donate to others.

I made 7 masks for our family this weekend.
Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
Healthcare workers are forced to make decisions about who lives, who dies. They are exhausted and broken!
Panic buying has taken place and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towel, no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer, no meat, no dry beans or rice; grocery store shelves are empty. This is an area by area, day by day changing situation.
Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses are switching their lines to help make hand sanitizer and again PPE.
The government closed the border to all non-essential travel.
Fines are established for breaking the rules.
All spring sports have canceled their season and winter sports their playoffs.
Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of COVID-19 patients.
Homeless people are sleeping in Las Vegas parking lots in painted spaces!
In Central Oregon, the homeless, the ignored, deposed and harassed are actually helping those that refuse to help them!
There are public service announcements telling people that when they see a tent pop up in a field, leave it alone because before this is over you may be there as well!
We are having daily press conferences from President Trump. He looks deflated, exhausted and not confident at all. He has been humbled in my opinion.
We are receiving daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.
We are all being instructed to stay home. Some states are enforcing stay-at-home orders.
The roads are quiet.
People wearing masks and gloves outside.
Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.
People are dying alone in facilities without their loved ones. Final goodbyes are said on Facetime.
The people who have "those: jobs", the ones that you wear a uniform of some sort have become essential and the ones that move food and freight in trucks to get the food and goods to the public cannot find a place to get a hot meal.
We may be getting close to one of two things: the virus might go away with the warming weather and it may not or we may be closing state borders, hot spots may be under the control of the National Guard who knows...BUT we are Americans! We will rise to the threat, the occasion, to our duty and for each other. We will fight to get back the ground we lost just like we have since the birth of our nation.
Children are painting windows and making hearts to show solidarity and love.
Shut-ins, elderly and disabled people are communicating to their neighbors that they need help by putting a green paper for "I am good" and red paper for "please help me" in their windows and we all help when green turns red.
People are remembering that ALL lives matter, all jobs matter and that when things get really rough, in the end, we only have each other!
This is the Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.

We have so much!
Be thankful. Be grateful.
Be kind to each other - love one another - support everyone.
We are all one!

Cancel Everything

 What a bummer of a decision. 

April 5th marks 10 years of working full-time at my post-Mega-Bank employer.  One of the amazing perks is the sabbatical program, whereby after five years of employment the employee is encouraged to take a four-week sabbatical.  This is on top of the normal accrued vacation.   Now, we aren't allowed to take weeks of vacation and then the sabbatical, they don't want us to burn out our co-workers while we are away doing the lounging thing.

One of my favorite things to do is to plan trips.   When we took the cruise to the Panama Canal, I researched wonderful places to eat near our hotel in Miami, had lots of information about the places we would visit and enjoyed that part almost as much as the trip itself.     Therefore, knowing I had a sabbatical coming up in 2020, I've been planning and dreaming for a while.

We have enjoyed the two cruises we've been on and I thought taking one from the east coast would be fun.   I booked the three of us onto a 7 night New England/Canada cruise leaving NYC on Sunday, August 30th.   We would fly into NYC on the 25th to be tourists.   I've explored the neighborhood around our hotel, found a historic steak restaurant in walking distance and had started lists of the museums we (I) wanted to visit.

Current projections of the Covid-19 virus is that it will taper off over the summer, but chances are come fall it will spike again.   Clearly, August and early September are still summer and the weather should be amazing on the east coast, but getting on a cruise ship just doesn't seem wise.  

So... rather than risk it and tie up our considerable payments into a cruise that we may not take we opted to cancel.   This means a series of calls and visits to the associated travel sites.   Airfare - canceled.  Hotel - canceled. Cruise - canceled.

There are still some things planned for the sabbatical window.   The peanut has sleep-away summer camp booked and fingers crossed that we are not still in lockdown at that point.   While she survives in the wild (in cabins with guitar-toting college kids) I'll be visiting nearby Lake Roosevelt and getting some sun.  

There's time to visit Grandma G.  Now, with the NYC trip off the books, maybe we'll take the kid on a road trip to visit the Denver grandparents.  Maybe we'll rent a house in the Hamptons... maybe we'll fly to Switzerland...maybe not.

For now, the most disappointing thing is that we don't have something on the horizon.

Survivor

The upside, we are getting into our groove, and having folks in the house all day isn't so terrible.   We do a pretty good job of transitioning from "work/school" to "home".

There were two major shopping outings this weekend, a big Safeway run and this morning J took advantage of the employee-only hour at Costco to pick up a bunch of stuff.   We are planning on being home for at least a month.

I had to venture out today to go to the bank, which is not an activity that I normally would have to do, but it was necessary.    It's odd being "out and about".   Traffic is super light and parking is plenty.   People tend to give each other a lot of room and for the most part, everyone is very kind and in a pleasant mood.

I feel for the people in the bank, at the stores and even restaurants who are only doing delivery/take out.  I am sure they would rather be at home.   It's a balance, be home, stay safe or have no income.   We want to support our local businesses, but I'm more comfortable cooking our own food for now.

One would think that with all the home life that we were saving money, but so far whatever we save we seem to pay elsewhere.   Our housekeeping service has been "put on hold" for now, but I'm paying them for next week anyway.   I can't imagine that they are doing well. 

The President is a mess, his press conferences are an embarrassment.   He says one thing and it's pretty clear that he's just saying what he thinks "we" want to hear to make himself look good.   Then, the folks that actually know what they are talking about get to the podium and contradict what he says.

The Senate wants to approve a financial support package to help the people in this crazy time, but they can't decide if they are going to help individuals or big corporations.  I'm a people person and think that if a corporation gets financial help they shouldn't get any more than what they paid in taxes.   

I've stopped reading the news and social media right before bedtime because while I fall asleep right away I wake up around 3am and am spinning.  That's not healthy.

It's my turn to cook... again

I guess I didn't realize how much we chose to eat the fast way, by rotating thru our favorite restaurants in our area.  Af the workday winds down I think, what's for dinner and for the last eight nights it's been home-cooked. 

When this isolation thing is all done I hope we find a better balance between a dinner out at Casa Durango for amazing authentic Mexican food and the kitchen cuisine I've been cobbling together.

Tonight we will eat a South African Chicken Chutney that is very tasty and actually easy.  The hardest part was remembering to thaw the chicken.   That planning ahead thing will get you every time.

It would be nice to have staff around to plan, prepare and clean up meals, but I suppose I needed a different life for that to happen. 

Homeschool

School Schedule

Today is Wednesday, March 18th

School Activities

• Math pages 8,9,10
• Soduko P 11-14
• Crosswords #6, 9
• Spelling: Page 10&11 
• Writing:  O465 Topic:  The best thing about being home is...
• Computer time: 1 hour (your choice from Mrs. Henry's page)
• Reading:  30 minutes Alice

iPad time after completing the above.

Special Activity

LEGO CHALLENGE

Build a bridge

• The road must be 6 inches from the floor and 1 foot long
• Doesn't have to be beautiful, but we will test to see how much weight it can hold
• NO GLUE

Information

Mom has meetings (on the phone)9:30-noon1:30-4pm

Dad has meetings
8:30-9:00
2:30-3:00

If office doors are shut, please only come in for an emergency

SNACK TIME @ 11am (tv ok during snack)

LUNCH Chicken Noodle Soup & Grilled Cheese (I'll get more tomato soup the next time we go to the store)   Fruit

School gets out at 4pm today

A new world

Covid-19 has impacted our daily life.   School is closed, so we are making a daily list of homeschool activities to keep the Peanut engaged and in a school state of mind.   She loves Soduku and is having fun with the crosswords.  Spelling continues to be a struggle.

J's employer made the decision that they too can work from home when special circumstances are present.   The closing of school was the ticket for him to be allowed to do something that he has been able to successfully do for the last few years.   Sometimes it's management that needs to change.

For me, I've been working at home for the last 11 years, so the real disruption is all these people in the house 24/7.  I have always loved my quiet alone time, so this is truly an adjustment.

Thankfully, the weather has been spectacular for the last 5 days, so we have been able to get out and go to the park, get some vitamin D in the chilly sunshine.

I feel for the mom's in the neighborhood with younger kids.  Keeping the littles busy for days and days on end can be exhausting.  L is at the age where she can entertain herself, and reach out via facetime to hang with friends who we can't see in person.    She has one friend that they facetime and then login to a game called Roblox and they play together in that virtual world.   Thank goodness for out high volume Internet.  L isn't able to play or talk with strangers online, and I hope to leave it that way for the next 200 years.

Emotionally, this is rough.  The news is scary, and staying off social media is critical to not getting so much information that it feels like the virus is knocking on our door (but, honestly isn't it?)

We are lucky in that the closure of restaurants and other venus only impacts us as an inconvenience, rather than our livelihood.  It's hard to know how to help folks that are impacted.