Summer!

It was an amazing weekend, the kind where you know that no moment has been wasted.

We did it all this weekend, dinner in the back yard, swimming, visiting friends, exhausting the kid and all things fun and great.

Saturday we zipped to the mall in the morning to check out the "amazing sale" at Eddie Bauer and decided to swing by the container store for storage items for the new storage bins in our loft.  I kind of went crazy with the selection and will likely be returning some of the haul.  There's form vs. function and the little discussed dimension of financial.  Yes, the new bins are pretty and they will function nicely, but are they necessary?  It remains to be seen.

Saturday night was our date with the boat pick up people.  During the back and forth emails I wasn't nervous about our decision to have dinner with these people whom we spoke with for about 30 minutes at the mall.   The 20% introvert side of me was worried that it would be awkward but from the moment we arrived it was relaxed and the conversation flowed fast and furious.   There was some pre-planning where the question was asked "any food or conversation topics we should avoid?" This is a great question.  In this day and age people's food issues are so complex that cooking for others can be quite the challenge.   But, since we had tentatively landed on beef as a protein I didn't think it was necessary to bring up Jason's aversion to salmon.  And, the walnut thing with me is not a fatal allergy and I am perfectly capable of picking them out of my food.   Also, I didn't mention that I'm still rather ruined on chardonnay after all - we were bringing wine.  On the conversation front, I figured I could hold my over opinionated tongue if we started to get into a squishy area.

I giggled when I got the email that read "change of plans, A wants to cook salmon, so bring an oaky chardonnay."    Truth be told, the salmon was amazing and Jason even inquired as to how it was cooked.  He told me in the car that he'd like to maybe try it sometime at home.  (On the grill - cooking salmon in the house is a no no.)    We didn't bring chardonnay and shared why.  Most people have a beverage (tequila, rum?) that the smell is so overpowering that it takes them back to a bad decision from their youth.  Hey, I was 42... stop judging me!

Alas, by the end of the evening the 'salmon' story was known by all and I don't get the feeling our new friends were insulted.  Honestly, it was some good fish.   Oh, and that kid.  She was served up a plate with cheese quesadilla, green beans, corn on the cob and eventually a cup cake.  What did she eat?  two bites of corn and about 6 of the crunchy fresh green beans from my plate.  The cup cake... nope.  ODD BIRD.

Sometimes the kids don't leave a party with the clothes they brought. We were able to donate a too small swimsuit to the far more petite (not quite the TALL child that we have) Noel and Lucy left with some sassy black boots that were too small for our hostess.  I couldn't get pants on Lucy so we walked to our car in a shorty shirt, a diaper and knee high black boots.  If she wasn't two it would have been an unfortunate wardrobe selection.

Sunday we worked hard to get to church early.  Pastor Kirby, the pastor who married us, has been elected as Bishop of the Northwest Washington Synod (that's a big churchy word.)  What does this mean?  Well, after 30 years, he will no longer be the senior pastor at our church.  We are happy for him and think he's going to be great, but we are so sad to no have him to ourselves anymore.   Sunday was his last day with SMLC and there was a big party.

Church was so packed (bigger than Christmas or Easter) that they filled the entry way with folding chairs and those folks watched the service on monitors.  It was an emotional service and I'm so glad we went - even though it was about 300 degrees in the chapel.  (Chapel isn't the right word because we aren't Catholic but I don't know the official Lutheran term.  Perhaps, 'worship space'.)   The service started at 10, and Kirby opened his welcome to us by announcing that his mother, who has been ill, passed away at 8:00 am that morning.  WHOA.  I hope that he and his family were comforted by the waves of love rolling at them all day.

After church we headed home to set up the pool.  The projected temperature for the day was supposed to be around 88 (turned out to be 93).  Getting that pool up and running was a priority.  Of course, on a day that we were going to be hanging out in the back yard all day, the neighbors across the way were bringing down two very large trees on their property.  The sound of the chainsaws was loud and not relaxing and it was sad to see the trees come down.  The process is interesting, but I hope they had a good reason for doing it.

In the high heat of the day, we retired inside to watch a movie.  We only watch movies with Lucy on the weekends and after hours in the sun, it seemed like a smart idea.  She happily ate her bowl of popcorn and drank her juice while enjoying the "bovie".

This morning she was bathed in a layer of sunscreen before heading to school and looked cute as a button in her red, white and blue t-shirt.  She's letting me put her hair up now and again and as you can see, I'm out of practice, but will do it any chance I get.

Tonight we start swim lessons.  Wish us luck!

dinner on the patio

cupcake lollipop

The doomed tree

Lake TP

relaxing in the late afternoon

ready for Monday

the aftermath

Love is love

I love the new cover of The New Yorker.  I'm sure the people of Sesame Street may have different opinions as to the use of their characters.  I've only thought in passing these two were more than friends, but in the end...I think it's a sweet way to acknowledge the idea that our gay neighbors are about as harmless as Bert & Ernie.

I'm pleased with the SCOTUS' decisions regarding the Defense of Marriage Act, and thankful for the California community regarding the ruling over Prop 8.  They could have made a far more reaching statement regarding this issue, but I respect their decisions.

There are still questions.  Jason and I were talking about how the DOMA ruling would affect a couple that was married in Washington but moved to a state where marriages are only legal for heterosexual couples.  Legally, the couple would still be married, therefore at the federal level they would still be entitled to the same benefits as a heterosexual couple.  Right?

Also at issue is are states allowed to restrict the rights that are granted at the federal level.  If a couple is legally married anywhere in the United States, their state of residence shouldn't impact their interaction with the federal government - should it?

When I worked for Social Security oh so many many years ago, the laws in Washington state had no impact on our application of the SS laws.

I read one of my former high school classmates opinions on the topic and it made me really mad, and sad.  He certainly represents a group of people who adamantly believe that marriage can only exist between a man and a woman.  I sure do respect his right to think that way and to never ever enter into a marriage with another man.  I don't respect the unkind and pretty close to hateful way in which he applies his logic.

The thing that really set me off was the statement that marriage is intended for the sole purpose to bring children into the world.  So if your union cannot produce children (because you're two dudes or two ladies) then it's not a marriage.  If it weren't a completely useless exercise I'd like to know at what point he thinks 'marriages' that haven't produced children should be dissolved?  If after 10 years a couple is barren or their child dies should they no longer be married?   Raar.

There will always be people who think that marriage between two women or two men is wrong.  I just hope that in time they become a smaller and smaller group and that their children and grandchildren will talk about their position in the same way that we speak of those who are still holding on to the notion of racial purity - with hushed and apologetic tone.  "Please forgive great aunt Millie, she still thinks it's 1948 in the south."

Anyway - it looks to be a stunning weekend.  The inflatable pool will be making an appearance at Casa LaTP this weekend.  Come on over if you need to sit in icy water with a 2 year old.

He's checking your mail

Barack Obama 10:00 AM (4 hours ago) 
to TPgal 

I was just going over the mail in your inbox and wanted to drop you a line to say, bwahahaha you're rather funny! 

These guys are standing around waiting on me to finish up so we can talk about budgets, but my heart isn't in it.  They think I'm busy because they can hear the clicking of my keyboard.  Fools, they can just wait.

Barack 
Sent from the Oval O

Goofing around

Yes, I am going to blog about poop (again?)

"I poo poo in da bed mama."

"Yes you did Peanut, but that was days ago.  It was an accident.  Everything is ok."

This has been our conversation after every nap and each morning as we start our day since Saturday afternoon.

The event itself was unexpected and we certainly tried not to overreact so as not to traumatize her, but it clearly had an impact.  She was doing the normal "I don't want to nap" complaints which generally last about 5 minutes before she zonks out for two hours or so.  Jason and I had lots of tasks to accomplish during the freedom window (nap) and were moving around the house quietly but quickly.  I came in from the garage and could tell that the no-nap cries had escalated to the point where it was clear that something was wrong.

By the time I made it upstairs, I heard Jason go into her room and a second later he calmly but urgently called out "CODE BROWN, CODE BROWN."   I was behind him in seconds.  He had Lucy on the changing table and was cleaning her up.  I grabbed wipes and did a collection.  After a quick flush I went back to scoop up all the bedding and friends (damn the stuffed animals and dolls) for a mid-day washing machine field trip.

There has been some debate among the adults in the house about when and how the diaper failure happened.  It has been at least eight weeks since Lucy has removed her diaper in the bed and she has never removed a pull up.  One theory is that the diaper came off during 'the event' rather than before.  We will never know how it happened, but I think the question of why is more of a karmic one rather than logical.  Parents of toddlers must experience this at some point.

With all the bedding in the machine and the flurry of activity around getting Miss Lucy put back together the possibility of a nap was zero.  She and I went downstairs for quiet time (Curious George) while Jason tried to finish some of the chores we had hoped to knock out together.

Later in the afternoon we sadly discovered that during the rapid clean up, Jason cleaned the kid, I cleaned the bed but neither of us located the actual diaper.  These fancy diapers are filled with super absorbent gel.  Washing machines are filled with water and the two together are a very bad combination.  The 'fabric' in the diapers is not strong enough to withstand the expansion that occurs during a wash / rinse cycle.  Upon failure, the diaper released thousands of small gel balls into the machine and all over the sheets and the wet furry friends.

The newly gelled sheets and friends were taken outside shaken violently then rewashed.  I'm pretty confident that if Jason had been observed shaking the naked, wet Raggedy Ann dolls on the front porch that the authorities would have been summoned.  While the stuffed animals were being violated, the washing machine had to be wiped out and vacuumed.  All around - yuck.

I think its kind of sad that the whole event has had such a lasting impact upon Lucy.  She looks so sad when she tells me that she 'poo poo in da bed'.  I try to be reassuring and we talk about using the potty and telling us before she needs to go.  My knowledge of psychological issues is limited to about five college courses in 1989 therefore I'm no expert, but I do recall that too much emphasis on the potty process can really screw a person up.  She's so young and I think it's too early to select the issue that she'll be in therapy over just yet.  I'd like to wait longer and see what my options are, I'm sure we'll find something much better than toddler poop.

My flowers.

A trip to the ER

Playing at Grandmama's.

Outlook, WA

It's been grandparent central around here and that has been fun.  Grandma & Papa came to visit from Denver and we had a grand time.  We tried not to over plan their visit so no big dinner parties were thrown.  Big is relative, in that our dinner with one couple, which would have been a meal for seven quickly turned into dinner for twelve.    These dinners are fun and with the extra hands isn't too much work, but as the person from the small family, I wish every now and then we could sit and visit with one couple at a time.

G&P were as ever in awe of how fast our little girl is growing and changing.  They noticed her bigger vocabulary and communication skills.  She certainly isn't one to let the things she "needs" go unnoticed.

Over dinner last night, Jason and I were discussing the fine line between letting go of what doesn't matter and standing our ground so she doesn't become a tyrant.  I'm sure in some circles we're totally violating the standard parenting rules about not giving in, but so far her attempts at manipulation are transparent and weak.

Although, she got to me last night with a hug and a perfectly timed "I you you Mommy!" (Translation: I love you Mommy.)   It was only after we got in our car to leave that I realized that by you-youing me, she was able to climb all over me while I ate - a big no no in our house.  Next time I'll be prepared with "I you you too, now sit down!"

It was Dad's 74th birthday Sunday, so a mere four days after the departure of the Denver Grandparents we packed the kid into the sexy swagger wagon and headed east.  Trips with the toddler take longer, especially when there are potty breaks involved.  However, she took a decent nap in both directions which is nice for us.  

Saturday, Lucy was periodically complaining about her tummy .  "Ouchie Mommy" is about at descriptive as she gets.  "Tummy Mommy" pinpoints the issue a bit more.  She seemed fine, but by Sunday she was back and forth between happy kid in the pool (see picture above) and having intestinal issues.  We left "early" Sunday night to head back to our hotel for a bath and to put our girl who didn't nap to bed.  After bath she was cuddly and clingy.  This is generally a sign that something is wrong.  We didn't have our temperature kit, nor our toddler drugs (tylenol/advil), but we could tell she had a low grade fever.  A quick trip to Target and Tylenol was dispatched.  However, at 9:00 she was crying and yelling "Ouchie Tummy Mommy".  

Maybe we over reacted, but a kid who is screaming (in a hotel room) and parents with no tools have few options.  We tried to calm her, but she was escalating with the yelling so off to the ER we went.  As we came in I was thankful it was Sunday rather than Friday or Saturday.  We only had to wait behind a kid (20-25) whose friend brought him in stating that he had been hit by a car and an older lady with heart pain.  Thankfully no bloody patients.    Lucy was crying on my shoulder and the triage nurse was semi-quick in acknowledging us to get us back into a room.

Regarding the check in procedure - if we have insurance why the heck did we need to tell the hospital where we worked and our job titles?  It seemed more like the collection of demographics than relevant to getting payment or health care for our person.  On one level I understand, but in the moment it irritated me to have to dig out an address for my employer when we're on Jason's insurance.  Parts of me are still 'in the moment."

Once in our ER room Lucy's temperature was taken in the worst of ways and it was high (noting that tylenol had been given over 90 minutes earlier) so they did some tests, poked her tummy, took a throat culture and sadly for everyone involved did a urine analysis.  The nice thing about being able to pee on command is not having to use a catheter to get the sample.  I've held Lucy for at 90% of the shots she's received and all of her pediatric exams but nothing could have prepared me to hold her arms while they took that sample.   Heartbreaking.

Her tests came back ok, and she finally calmed down and fell asleep.  They didn't seem to treat us like we over reacted, and gave us some information about how to check a temperature, give medicine and change her diaper.  I think they didn't have anything else to tell us and since they don't know us gave us the most basic of kid management information.  I took it well because I was waiting for them to get to something new, but they didn't.  We left the ER around eleven and thankfully Lucy went right back to sleep.  She woke around four crying "ouchie", but a quick rub of her back and some comforting words and all was quiet until about seven.

She was still experiencing tummy issues Monday, but her fever was gone and she was her normal busy self again.  I was a bit worried that they were going to send her home from daycare Tuesday, but she was fine.

Lucy hasn't complained about her tummy since Monday and even ate most of her dinner last night.  Happy and eating - that's a healthy kid.  Whew.

This weekend we will not be hosting visitors, nor will we be driving anywhere significant.  I'm sure Lucy will be bored and wonder why we never take her anywhere.  I for one and looking forward to some quiet.  Oh, except come Sunday we're off to our first "Toddler Birthday Party" for one of the kids at Day Care.  Now it starts... gifts for kids we don't really know.  Can you say "books"?

A rose!!!

Bath Time Burrito

Lucy asked to be wrapped up snug after her bath last night.  She looked so cute and was having fun, so I captured this video.

Lucy makes some friends.

Lucy found my Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy dolls that my grandmother made for me when I was little.  She hasn't shown any interest in them until yesterday.

She napped with them and last night at bedtime asked for the 'friends'.  I went in to check on her and ensure she had a blanket and found her and the friends in the dark sitting on her pillow.

Miss Lucy seemed pretty pleased with herself.  I had to run downstairs and grab the camera.  I think my grandmother would be pleased that the dolls are getting a second life.

I did ditch most of the clothes as they were extremely tattered and seriously out of style.  I may have been the only kid in 1973 with Raggedy Ann dressed like Maude.   Lucky me, I had about 6 color coordinating polyester pant suits with bum covering vests.  So kicky!  My grandmother made a lot of her own clothes, partly out of frugality and partly out of a desire to have clothes that fit her frame.  She was a tall woman with a generous bust.  I don't remember her shopping for anything other than coats, undergarments, shoes and stockings.  I think she made everything else.  Now that I think about it, Raggedy Ann and Andy each had outfits that matched something in my grandmother's closet.  The barbies did too.  It must have been difficult to sew tiny polyester pants for Barbie, but my grandmother did it.   Thanks Elsie!  Miss you.

Grandma Elsie

Maude

Yucko

Testing a feature with a cute picture

A different kind of pickup

One of the challenging things about being "older" parents is that most of our peers are so far beyond the baby stage that they look at us with a profound sense of relief.  I can see the looks of "wow, thank goodness it's them and not us" in their eyes as we deal with a cute, but willful toddler.  Many of the old high-school gang have kids that are starting and even finishing up college.  Even the college friends who 'waited' to have kids are dealing with the trauma of high school, but here we are talking about moving Lucy to a big girl bed and worrying about our it'll happen when it happens potty training philosophy.  These friends love our girl and enjoy her, but it's with a grandparentish feeling.  You know, hop them up on sugar and then send them home.   The idea of playing in the mini-kitchen EVERY DAY is not something that sounds awesome, to these wonderful people.  They've done their time in the Kid Kraft Kitchen.  (I just noticed the K.K.K. - is Lucy playing in a racist kitchen?)

We have a great set of allies in this journey in JoJo's parents.  They are young, energetic and seem to tolerate us well.  The girls love each other and I know Lucy asks for JoJo almost every day.  It is wonderful to have family who are friends who are going through the same thing we're going through.

However, we've talked about how it would be nice to have some more friends who are around our age and have a kid or kids that Lucy could bond with.  We're attracted to the parents of one of the kids at school.  Lily and Lucy are pals and Lily's mom is great.  She's also pretty full up with friends and family in her own world.  I stalked her for a bit trying to make a mom to mom connection, but alas we are friendly, but not friends.

Today, in the never ending quest for things that are fun and burn energy we took Lucy to Bellevue Square to play on the boats in the Kid's Cove. (See... you can have alliteration without doing a nod to our shameful friends.) Lucy still loves the boats and I love the containment as well as the soft play area.  Lucy made friends with a shorty today who looked to be about her age (turns out is about 3 months older) .  As Lucy and N. played N's mom and I started chatting.  I've tried to talk up other parents at the Cove, but it hasn't gone well.  Mostly I manage to scare tired nanny's or grandparents, but N's mom was funny, open to talking and very friendly.   While the girls ran and twirled, we introduced ourselves.  After about 30 minutes a wonderful thing happened... N's mom asked me for my phone number.  Excited, I gave it up willingly and then horror washed over me.

"You don't sell Amway, do you?" I asked without any fear that if the answer was yes that it would be offensive.  It would be..but then I'd simply be offending an Amway salesperson and I think it's allowed.

S. laughed and said she was a writer.  When she asked what I did I used the simplest explanation that I've managed to work out that doesn't take four hours to explain "IT Security".  This is where S lured me in and stroked my easily bruised ego "Oh that's not what I expected, you're so funny I expected you to be a comedy writer or something."  (Somehow this blog doesn't quite qualify.)   I did and do admit that my day job is rather, um... unfunny.  I do like it though, so what can I do?  I'm like a super hero, unfunny during the day, but when the situation arises I set aside my Security Policy Framework and drop witty one liners to fill empty, awkward silence.

After the girls kissed and hugged good-bye, we waived to our new acquaintances and headed on our way back to our regularly scheduled day.  In the car I mentioned to Jason that it was nice that she asked for our contact information and that even though I'm clearly excited about the prospect of getting to know these also-40ish parents of the uber friendly N, I'm not the one debating when it would be appropriate to make contact.   For once, I don't have to be the stalker.

So, we'll see if a play-date ever happens.

Cuteness!!!

Swingers

shoes

Shampoo or Duck Poop?

Tulip

Success!

Lucy came home from her first day in Young Preschool* happy and well rested.  She didn't seem phased by the change at all and even took a 2.5 hour nap in the new room.

They said she ate all her lunch, but I don't really buy it.  However, I'm long past the need to worry that she's starving.

I think she's a thief though.  She came home from school with about 6 tiny rocks in her pocket.  We are storing them in our own rock garden for later.  Today... her outfit has no pockets.  Bwahahaha.

The new arrival into the classroom means potty training has officially begun.  We were asked to swap out her little person diapers for pull-ups.  They will practice sitting on the mini-potty at school at least three times a day.  At home we will support the program with potty time before bed and first thing in the morning.

I bought all these books about potty training and now I think I'm just going to go with the flow (bad pun).   At home we have what I call 'donuts' as they remind me of the squishy things my grandpa used for his bum, but it sits on the seat of the loo and makes a smaller seat for the toddler bum.  Lucy seems to like them and they are great for training.    However, once she gets the hang of this new concept we'll have to do some practice on our loo without the donut so that it isn't traumatic when we're out in public and have to just go.

See, with every new skill things get a bit more complicated.  My mom says that when Lucy is fully potty trained then she will take her camping - alone.  Boy oh boy, would I love to see that.  I think we'll be waiting until Lucy is at least 4 and has a fighting chance of not playing with the fire pit.

The weather is warming up and tonight after school we will be in the back yard again with the bubble machine and the new water table.  There is a 90% chance of cousin JoJo dropping by, so it could be a wonderful evening.

My $10 bubble machine from Safeway had it's initial outing last night, but it's not a quality product as it stopped producing bubbles after it was attacked by an excited 2 year old monster.  Hopefully it rested well and will be up for an evening of entertainment tonight.

* I was incorrect with the name of her class.  It is not Early Beginners.

Graduation!

We had a fine ending to our day yesterday.  She enjoyed a bath, watched a 15 minute snip of Curious George and then read books with Dad and off to bed.

The day care sent home a letter last night that said that all kids who are expecting classroom changes will do those changes on June 21.  Oh, I was not a happy mommy regarding this news.

Lucy is currently in the "toddler" room and that room is designed for kids 12 - 24 months.  The next classroom "Early Beginners" is for kids 2-3 years old.  The activities are far more group oriented and a stronger mix of education and play vs. just play. We've been anxious for Lucy to move on up, but understood that there needed to be availability.   I did hear through the grapevine that 2 kids were leaving and therefore I was irritated that we would have to wait another two months.

However, today Miss Martha informed me that Lucy will start her transition TODAY.  She'll be spending time in the EB and on Monday she'll be in that room full time.

I'm thankful for this change.  Lucy has friends in the new classroom and I expect that her language skills will expand within weeks.  I'm also thankful that I'm not traveling this week or next.  It will be good to have Mom home during this transition time.

I doubt there will be a ceremony with a cap and gown, but when we moved from the Infant room she got a certificate.  OOh... a certificate.

Oh no!!!

Tonight looked to be really iffy in the "serene family" category. Lucy refused to get out of the car after Dad picked her up from school. After a small melt down over the horrible disappointment of not being offered a cookie right before dinner a larger and far more epic meltdown occurred when we meanly put water in Lucy's water sippy cup. We are ASSHOLES!!!

Miss Nude 2013 did a marvelous version of Meg Tily in Agnes of God, but without the blood. She has the face down, crucifix position down pat.

She allowed herself to be sat in the high chair for dinner, but the wailing continued. She needs to work on her strategy tho... Lucy held her ground solidly when Dad asked her if she wanted cheese on her noodles. "No Daddy!!! Waaaaa". But, when I followed behind (unknowingly) offering her cheese in her noodles she uttered a pathetic and slightly thankful "yes pease".

She kept up her wailing for a good ten minutes into our family dinner. Then, as if she forgot why she wad pissed she smiled and ate her dinner and even got the elusive cookie from earlier.

Now we're about to have a bath and an earlier than normal bedtime. I think maybe its Monday.

Yard

We made some changes to our tiny back yard.

We had a small raised flower bed put in along the back fence.  We also had our man (the name my grandfather used for his contractor) add gravel along the south side between us and the neighbors.  Joseph put in boards along the fence line to keep the gravel from migrating to the neighbors.  As it was all the original  decorative rock has moved south (as their yard is lower in elevation than ours.

before (north)

Before, south)

We had the patio expanded the summer we were pregnant with Lucy, and we asked Joseph to add gravel to the side where the grass simply wouldn't thrive.  He also had to patch a section where the yard took a beating during the construction of our flower bed.

  

after, south

North side, just storage, pavers by TP

North, yard

We extended the retaining wall all the way to the back of the yard and then filled it in with dirt. We gained about 4 extra feet of useable yard. Before, it dipped down into an abyss designed, I guess to trap small children.

plants!

annuals to fill out the new perennials

The bed under the window.

A Panorama

I miss you too!

The full time job thing, the mom thing, the wife thing and the trying to be a good person thing sure gets in the way of having time to humorously snark about life on this blog.   I do miss it and there are moments when I think, oh I wish I could capture that moment and blog about it.  Here's the summary of happenings:

Our 2 year old is acting her age.  She is happy in the morning, likes to come into our room and snuggle before we get moving.  She prefers to hang with me but will give Jason some loving and if I'm not home he is perfectly perfect to cozy up to while she wakes up.  I think it's sweet that she will nestle in close to my side and root around to find my arm and make sure that I'm hugging her.  It is less sweet that she doesn't let Jason cozy in.  I mean, if his hand wanders over to give either of us a loving pat on the arm, she takes his hand and pushes it away.  He does a pretty good job of not getting his feelings hurt and I remind her that he was my boyfriend first.   She also has to endure kisses between mom & dad.  (Nothing X rated, but I think it's important that she sees that Mommy loves Daddy too.)

Getting dressed for school is usually a mini-battle.  I can see that she doesn't want to go to school, but once we're on our way she's happy as a lark.  She likes her friends, she likes the art activities and when they get to play outside (which is any day that it isn't raining) she comes home super tired.  Now that she's two she's allowed to go over onto the big play equipment and I know she's digging that.

When she's super tired after school it is a challenge to get through dinner.  She likes to pull up her step-stool and hang out in the kitchen while we cook.  I let her "help" and that can be as easy as her directing where to put the bowls and which egg to crack or counting (to two) the number it items we'll be using.  Sometimes she gets her own bowls and a few fish crackers to sort while I do chopping.   When it comes time to use the stove we use the power of two parents to divide and conquer.  One parent goes with Shorty to her play kitchen while the other messes with the real kitchen.

Dinners are hit and miss.  Sometimes she eats and sits at the table like a champ, and others she's too busy, tired or bored to play nice.  When we make a real dinner, she eats what we eat and other dinner options aren't offered.  However, like last night where she made a wonderful dent in her chicken stir fry she was offered a yogurt.  I know she wont starve to death on the nights where she doesn't eat, but I'm happier when she eats.

We are in a state of constant motion from the moment she comes in the door until she's in bed.  Thankfully, that is still pretty early. Eight p.m. is the magic moment of her door closing and we get to high five each other and go do adult things.  Last night, "adult things" was to really clean the kitchen floor and then watch Survivor.  I know, I know, too much sexy.

In other parts of our life, we have some friends who are going through a terrible trauma.  Our job is really to be supportive.  A group of gals took a day to go see them (they are in an out of town hospital) and it was an experience I'll probably remember my whole life.  I tend to hide in my cave when things are really bad and I find it hard to allow people, even those I care about and trust into that vulnerable space.  Well, my friend is in that cave and she generously opened up and let us in.  We all walked away feeling hung over and emotionally spent, but I hoped that we were sponges and wicked some of her pain, anger, hurt, fear, disappointment, and every other emotion she's going through.  I know that the four of us can't possibly take all of it away, but maybe for that day it lightened her load a bit.   Also, I think that being a part of the beginning of this journey she's on will help smooth the way to be able to support her in the long run.  Instead of being filled with "oh what should I say, what should I do?"  Now I know what she wants and it is something I absolutely have to give.  How strange is it that the simple answer to the question of what to do for people in pain is: "love me like you did before."

Part of our visit involved getting her into a safe space where she could say all the things you're not supposed to say when going through something really hard.  I think if you're in the midst of hell you get to say what you want about your own fears, pain, anger or whatever and your people are required to let it bounce off.   I do think it's important to know when this 'say what you need to' is appropriate. It was clear to me that I had no advice to give, all I had was a kind ear and the occasional agreement that some of the "go to" things that people say to be helpful simply aren't. Things like:

1) God has a plan.
2) God won't give you more than you can handle.
3) Doctors can be wrong, everything will be just fine.
4) Don't give up hope.
5) Have you tried to do XXXX?

1& 2: The God business is rough.  I believe in God, albeit not in the ghostly white ball of light way, but in the there can be beauty in all things way.  I don't think God takes time to decide when we're going to get cancer or hit by a drunk driver or die of old age.  I think God is in the people who come to our aid and comfort us in those dark times.  God is part of the "I guess I'll take one more step" spunk that some of us pull from nowhere.   I call it God, you may call it something else and that's fine.  But, damn it, don't use God to explain away the dark, terrible things that happen.  These things are part of life and we will all go through death in one way or another.  Sure, we may grow from these experiences and be a different person or maybe even happy on the other side, but pick your moment to talk about God when dealing with folks who have to remember to breathe from second to second.  With that said, please pray like crazy for your friends if that's your thing.  They may not believe in it, but if you do - send those good intentions into the world.  It can't hurt.

3: Doctors can be wrong.  Indeed, but you my friend are not  a doctor.  If a diagnosis is from a real, honest to betsy, knows how to bill insurance doctor, then shaddup about the Neurosurgeon being wrong.  Chances are, by the time your friend tells you what the doctor has said they've seen a couple doctors.

4: Don't give up hope.  This seems harmless, but to some folks, hope is risky.  Hope can open you up to more pain.  Again, this is all about knowing your audience.  For some, expecting the worst is a way of protecting their hearts.  My friend said this exact thing, and I told her that I would do the hoping for her.  Someone needs to hope and if you don't have it, I'll do it!

5: Have you tried XXX?  See #3.  All experiences are different and the all fruit diet that Aunt Mertha used to clear up her pancreatic cancer may not be the best option for me.  One of the things that I think is the most scary about dealing with something like cancer is that there isn't a map.  First you'll go here for 3 weeks, then here for 2 months, then we'll do this.  It's pretty much different for each person.  If you have a good doctor referral, give it up.  Other than that just, listen listen listen then listen some more.

In the end, even those folks who say the wrong thing (often that's me) only mean well and are trying their best.  It's important to remember that when reacting to the oddball things that are said.  Now, if someone suggests that it is your own fault that terrible thing X happened to you, you're allowed to pop them in the nose.  Clarification:  if you're about to get a Darwin Award then it may be your own fault and hold the nose popping for further analysis.

So, I'm filled with perspective this week.  I'm over the moon happy with my life these days and yet that real world stuff oozes in.  I suppose this is real life.  Oh how I'd like to punch it in the throat every now and then.

Happy Easter

Right now...

Lucy,

I love you with my whole body, but you are TIRED. You need to sleep.

Daddy just went up to your room and you shared the whisper goodnight. That's a good sign. When you're able to whisper "good night daddy". It means you're ready to sleep.

Sleep well. It makes for a happier tomorrow.

We love you!!

Mommy

Pizza face

Yard work

Water sports

Spring Games

Lucy wanted to play with bubbles. It took me 1 1/2 refills of soap to understand that water was just as good. Now she's simply playing with a tub if water.

Middle School Perfect Storm

 Ok... so it is not a middle school picture of mark wahlberg, but it is as young as I could find him on the interwebs.

Context:  this is for my friend the Middle School teacher.  And, a lesson for all young, awkward duded - it can get better.

Spring Sprong Sprung

It is starting to feel like spring again.

The yard is now a bright green and we've had to mow it twice already.  We use a lawn service for fertilizing and moss abatement and are probably shooting ourselves in the foot by having one of the healthiest lawns in the neighborhood.  Our next door neighbors have done nothing with their yard and they only mow every few weeks in the summer.  By "they" I mean, Albert's father in law pulls out the push mower and deals with the yard when the kids want to play.  They should invest in an electric or gas mower to make life easier, but it's not my place to mention how hot Grandpa looks as he mows the yard of his 30 year old son-in-law.

At least Albert's father-in-law doesn't let the yard get so long that he can't just run a mower over it.  This is is a picture of our other neighbor and his super safe "once a year" mowing technique.  I'm not sure what they are thinking - I saw the Scott's Lawn Service people servicing their yard last week.  Don't they know a fertilized yard grows FASTER than one you ignore?

Oh well, the onset of spring brings up some anxiety.  We have to stain the fence this year.  Staining can only come after a good power wash.  Thankfully, we picked up a pressure washer from (where else) Costco.  We know we couldn't rent a washer for the price we paid and we will use it for a few things (the fence and moss removal on our driveway.)

The other stresser is the flower beds.  Oh how I wish they would magically dig themselves up, lay down fabric, cover themselves in a non-rocky soil and plant themselves with easy but pretty blooms.  My dad always said - wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one gets full first.  Perhaps now that Lucy can play outside while we work in the yard we won't be limited to 2 hour working sessions on the weekends. Now all I have to do is muster the desire to get it done.

We're expecting a storm tonight and tomorrow, but 50's this weekend.  We have no weekend plans (other than seeing Rico in Jesus Christ Super Star this Friday) so perhaps we'll get moving on doing something with the yard.  Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

Beautiful girl an

Dinner date

Monster Shoes & a name change

I thought that the rate at which Lucy blew through clothes that first year was shocking but at the same time with each change of size 0-3 mos to 3-6 mos came with amazing developments in her personality.

The growth has seemed to calm down, we aren't completely changing wardrobes every three months, but her feet... oh man, I think her feet are growing at a stunning rate.  Maybe it isn't the case, but now shoes are setting us back about $35-$50 a pair.  This weekend we had her feet sized and ended up leaving the store with:

Dress Shoes - white sandals
Tennis Shoes - a girl must be able to run freely
Play Shoes for summer - ok, so maybe she doesn't 'need' keens but they were so great last summer because they work in the water, they work on rocky beaches, they also have toe coverage for the school playground that is covered in wood chips.

and, because we love options a pair of Red and Purple casual shoes.

Of course, her whole wardrobe is PINK and none of these shoes except for the fancy sandals really go all that well with a pink puffy girl, but she seems to prefer fun shoes.  In fact, we are all very sad to retire the Yo Gabba Gabba vans.  She growled at them every time she put them on.  "Monster Shoes"  - very cool.

  

I'm sure we'll end up buying more shoes before we hit the heat of summer, and I guess that is fine.

We had been going to the stride rite store for shoes, but Jason suggested we stop at Nordstrom and while I loved the idea I must complain that the options were so good that we probably purchased at least one pair of shoes that we didn't 'need'.  Stupid excellent service.

Lucy was great during our shopping adventure.  She was delighted to get a balloon and when we were finished we stopped at the cafe for a cookie.  She loved the idea of a cookie, but mostly sucked the green sugar off the top of her portion of the shamrock leaf.  Oh, and she drank 90% of my sparkling lemon aid.  "Screw that vanilla milk crap, mommy's juice is 10 hundred times better."  Thankfully she's mastered the straw and no backwash happens.  (backwash and snot bubbles gross me out. gag)

She was a bad napper this weekend, but slept well at night.  I'm thinking the three hour naps might be gone until the next growth spurt.  And there's the trade off, good sleep equates to big feet.

Oh, and here's a new development, she has been waking up really upset after these short naps.  She's in a tantrum like state for about 10 minutes when she wakes up.  I feel badly for her, because she's simply upset and there isn't much to do.  We cuddle, comfort and keep her safe, but she's wailing and producing tears.  Poor little bug.

Last bit of news.  She corrected me this weekend when I called her Lucy.  "No mama, Lucia!"   So, I told the day care today that they have to stop calling her Lucia and call her Lucy.  I love them a lot, but she is Lucy.  It would be so wrong for me to call a kid named Juan John unless asked to by the parents or little Juan himself.   At 2 - it's too early for Lucy to decide to change her name.  I'm the mommy and I say so!

Capt. Underpants

Sleep Study

Hi, my name is TP and I am a snorer.

This snoring is chronically worse when I have a cold or I have too much wine.  When both are happening at the same time, I worry that I'll be asked to sleep in the back yard.

Today I met with Dr. Lee, Sleep Specialist.  While he's not making a diagnosis he is pretty sure I don't have the most severe case of apnea (where you don't snore, but you don't breathe either.)

Two Sundays from now I will pick up my at home apnea test device and that night I'll plug myself in and see where we go.

He did give me some good information about how to monitor our young person for potential issues.  So far, she's not presenting with anything that indicates she has breathing issues, but he did say that it can show up later (like 3 or 4).  We'll be watching for mouth breathing while she sleeps and the inability to drink and breathe at the same time.

More to come.

Happy Second Birthday!

The art center at 7:00 am

Happy second birthday my sweet girl!

A birthday message from mommy & daddy

The new kitchen at 2:00 pm

Introducing the chef to her space at 3:00pm

What's in here?

Phone for you?

Oh yes, I like this gift!

Lucy & JoJo in the sleeping bag.

cake!

JoJo & Auntie Chelsey

Who are you at two?

Happy second birthday happy girl!