Megabank wants me to let them buy a life insurance policy on my life. They'll pay the premiums and get the pay out when I die. The idea is that they would use the benefit to offset the rising costs of the retirement plan. Not that it would help me, I'll be dead.
The only thing that makes it feel a little icky is that the policy doesn't end when I leave MegaBank -- it goes on until I actually make the time to die. So, I could quit tomorrow and 40 years from now when I finally go to visit Nana and Sparky in heaven, MegaBank throws a party.
Yuck.
I wonder if they will now start to send me on assignments to dangerous places -- "Hey TPgal, there's a conference in Sierra Leone, but before you go stop in Myanmar and pick us up some heroin from Khun Sa (translated: Prince of Death) who we hear is a a lot of fun!"
In fact, my whole next year travel itinerary might be pulled from www.ComeBackAlive.com
The site lists the United States as a dangerous place, which seems ludicrous until you read the explanation. It warns visitors to stay away from fast food joints (burger king massacres), Minnesota in the winter (space heater fires), the golden gate bridge (jumpers) and American High Schools (teen angst shooters). That's just sad -- but also funny.
I guess, if I don't have to pay for the insurance, and it doesn't effect my ability to get additional life insurance, what the heck. As long as I don't find out they've put a contract on my head what could it hurt?
1 comment:
Rest easy. Based on the "American Justice" episode I saw not long ago, the time to worry is when they start hiring a succession of hard-living, hard-luck drifters and taking out multiple life insurance policies on them. So the signs of trouble will be:
1. Hard-living, hard-luck drifters begin joining your working group.
2. Megabank takes out multiple life insurance policies on new drifter employees.
3. Drifter employees gradually replaced by different hard-living, hard-luck, redundantly-insured drifters.
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