Red Lobster!

I foolishly tried to "take the edge" off my white white body by signing up for some tanning sessions.

Starting slowly, I purchased 10 sessions and unrobed for the first. Four minutes on a medium bed was all I wanted to endure. It's an odd place, the tanning salon. Orange colored teenagers check you in and give you your salon number.

Your room is a closet with a massive coffin looking thing in it. There's no instructions other than hit the blue button when you're ready.

I donned my space alien eye wear and hit the blue button, which is across the room from the 'bed'. I hoped on, and pulled the casket thing around myself. This was all a little difficult because I had my eyes closed.

The heat from the bulbs is actually pretty nice and you do feel a burst of energy from the UV rays. The downside is smelling your burnt skin for the rest of the day.

Yesterday I went back for session 2 of 10 (another 4 minutes) and opted not to fully disrobe. NO ONE IS GOING TO SEE MY WHITE WHITE ASS! I failed to remember this when it came to my chestal region, and today I am PINK.

Sadly due to the prone position the undersides of my breasts got the brunt of the burn. If it doesn't cool off by tomorrow I may need to skip Tuesday's session altogether. The idea is to take the edge off, not leather up. I may be pretending to be a feminist tomorrow - that's never a good look (braless) although I made it through today with only mild whining.

I would snap a photo of the red red boobies, but frankly I'm pretty confident you're not interested.

At any rate - the next session (whenever it may be) will be torso covered event. I promise.