Fictionary

Anticipoop- fearing the pending bowel movement of a well fed baby who didn't poop all day.

Ass-cott. The extra snooty tie of '60's more-superior-than-you gay royalty.

Jeezus...what is that? Wedding Fashion

When the disgraced Sara Ferguson is your mother, are you required to dress horridly?  Euginie (in blue) looks like she's wearing something that she had Cinderella's lesser mice fashion for her out of something my grandmother wore in 1978.  AWFUL.

Princess Beatrice looks a bit better in her sublte skin colored dress, but that hat!   Philip Treacy is THE go to designer for hats, but I think he might have been joking when he suggested he could make a hat that she could re-purpose as a door knocker. 

As for Tara Palmer somebody or other (British Socialite) her Philip Treacy hat makes me wonder if is it a shoe or a giant blue vagina?

The three ladies on the bottom who round out our hat fashion show are Earl Spencer's daughters (nieces to the late Diana, Princess of Wales) actually pull off the crazy and required hats with style.  You couldn't wear any of those items to a function in the US - but bully for them.

While I was trolling web sites for photo's to borrow I found several web sites that blasted the wife of the current Prime Minister for not wearing a hat at all.  So let this be a lesson, you can wear any bizarre piece of material on your head to a royal wedding including old shoes, used diapers, dead birds or even model airplanes but for f*ck sake, don't show up wearing nothing.

Baby blather

The last two nights Miss Lucy has slept from bedtime until 5:30 am.  We are confident it is a short term thing, but have enjoyed it none the less.

My mommy senses (similar to Spidey Senses) had me waking up both nights at 2:30 and 3:30 with "phantom" baby sounds.  At one point I was out of bed, in my bathrobe and walking toward the door when I realized that no sounds at all were coming from the monitor. 

I have foolishly awoken the baby in the past for silly things like putting her in the car for required trips, but I will not be doing it in the middle of the night to feed a sleeping baby.  The idea is to get her to not have night time feedings - like the rest of us.

So, yesterday was our baby class reunion.  Four families showed up and strangely all four of us had C-sections. Two were planned and one was an emergency and mine was, not so much emergency but a smart decision after a day of useless labor. 

The four babies were all at different developmental stages.  Lucy, the second youngest had the best head/neck control and was the most alert during the "reunion".  The boy who was due on Lucy's due date came a week earlier than Lucy and the child weighed in at over 14 pounds (now, not at birth.)  His mom has him on a strict 3 hour schedule - feeding, cleaning, naps... repeat.   He's up to 6 ounces of formula per feeding - so if he's eating 8 times a day he's taking in 48 ounces of formula.  Lucy, is quite happily consuming 24 ounces per day.  The pediatrician said that babies need 2.5 ounces of formula per pound - which means "schedule mommy" is giving that kid about 300 extra calories per day.  Our instructor gently tried to indicate that they needed to talk to their pediatrician and mentioned that there's an epidemic of obese 6 month old babies in the US.  I'm not quite sure I would have been able to hear her kind and gentle hints.  The need to keep the baby on a 3 hour feeding schedule (according to our books) goes away once the baby passes their birth weight.  When the kid is thriving they will let you know when they are hungry... but if you feed them every three hours they will learn to be hungry every three hours.  It's not going to be fun at their house if and when they decide to stop the madness. 

Just so you don't think that I'm overly superior about my own parenthood skills, she informed us (gently) that we weren't using the car seat restraints correctly.  Yes, the baby was strapped in, but we have been applying the clip that goes across the chest too low.  So, a quick adjustment (along with a scream of displeasure from the princess) and we're back in business as good parents. 

The other two babies at the reunion were remarkable in that the oldest baby there is the one who was the smallest with the least display of body control.  She was tiny and still VERY floppy.    The other little dude was so cute I wanted to eat him up, but he slept the whole time.  It's easy to fall in love with a sleeping baby. 

Lucy's 2 month well baby check up is Monday and we'll get either validation that we're on track with her size and development or a slap in the face that maybe our baby class instructor was talking to both super control freak mom AND us as well.  Lucy will be getting shots so expect Mommy to need a cocktail after the appointment. 

Have a great weekend.

My Easter Brunch Contribution

While surfing the Internet for an appropriate image to post on Easter I found a rather fun looking bread bunny and decided to attempt it for our contribution to Easter dinner at Becky's.

my finished version

the inspiration

the carnage

...trying to be a good employee.

I decided to log on to the company computer tonight to let all the updates that have occurred while I've been out get uploaded so I can start my day fresh tomorrow.  It's been 2 months so I'm sure the updates will be many and might take hours.  Sadly, my password has expired AND the company rolled out a convenient automated password manager.  The old process does not work and I've been on hold with the IT help desk for 16 minutes.  This wouldn't be so bad, but they are playing strange 50's music to pass the time.  Additionally, every 15-20 seconds they break into the terrible music to tell me that I'll be helped by the next available representative. 

I may have to hang up and do this tomorrow on their time, but I would prefer to be able to start my day tomorrow as a fully functioning person. 

This music is horrid. 

They say for every boy and girl,
There's just one love in this old world,
And I, I kn-ow, I, I, I've found mine.
The heavenly touch of your embrace,
Tells me no one will take your place,
A, A, A, A, ever in my heart.

I had to look it up...Young Love.  Written in 1956 and covered by Donny Osmond in 1973... never reaching higher than 24 on the billboard charts.  KILL.  ME.  NOW.

Our easter bunny gets a bath

Momma washes my face first,

then I get that shiny new look.

Momma washes my belly and I hang on for safety.

Finally my hair gets a nice shampoo.

I get a baby massage too. (Check out my curly hair.)

Happy Lucy.

Lucy & Mama

One week

I head back to work next Tuesday.  I'm looking forward to it in some ways, I feel a renewed sense of appreciation for my employer and the work that I do now that I've been away in a world of poop and a crying being that refuses to learn the simple words like "hungry", "wet", "bored" or "tired".

The other part of me is so sad to jump back into "real" life.  I hate the idea that Lucy will be hanging out with Alexis, Kalena and Valentina instead of Jason and me.  I know we will get into a routine and that she'll be fine at day care - heck the two practice days we had she took amazing naps and came home happy.  I guess the home living room is a terrible place to nap during the day.  Who knew she needed a room full of other children to get a solid 2-3 hour nap during the day.  At home, all I can eek out is a 1 hour cat nap - I get a couple of them throughout the day, but she won't sleep for an extended period of time.  Maybe the professionals will establish a solid naptime and we will stick to it on the weekends. 

To make the most of our last week, we have scheduled some very fun things.  Today she and I walked to Starbucks and then the grocery store.  We had a play date in the afternoon and then made dinner that is ready to pop into the oven as soon as Jason gets home.

Tomorrow we have a lunch date in Seattle and then grandma & grandpa TP are coming for a sleep over.  FUN.

Jason has Friday off and we'll be hanging together as a threesome for the holiday weekend.

I don't have much on the agenda for Monday.  I don't have to worry about fitting into work clothes as my sweatpants are acceptable for logging onto the network.. (I tried today, but have to have my credentials reset - activity #`1 on Tuesday morning.)

Speaking of short naps, the princess is up.

The picture for today is blurry, but it is her smiling.  Isn't it great?

waaaaaaahhhh

Comments of the day

"Who is the person who said that Lucy needs to go to a good preschool?" This was a question that in one form or another I was asked twice this week. The first person inquiring simply wanted to know and the second person clearly did NOT get the sarcasm of the post and was a tiny bit incensed. The second person was a person of grandparent title and thus any perceived insult regarding the perfect child is unacceptable. I assured said grandmother that the comment was indeed funny and more of a comment on how Jason and I could be far more obsessed with making sure that Lucy gets into a good college by starting her higher education preparations now. I mean, how on earth can we expect her to excel beyond WSU or UW if we don't build her college resume now? Sheesh, she's already wasted seven weeks just sitting around pooping. This is not going to bode well when we approach Harvard. (I think Harvard is out for us, they don't let in students who have relatives in the "riff raff" category. Poor Lucy is already handicapped by my public blog that is filled with creative application of the rules of grammar. I can hear the admissions discussion now, "the mother has a chronic comma splicing problem, this kid is not Harvard material" Sorry Lucy, your mom has all ready failed you.

This discussion of our dear anonymous poster brought the grandmother and I to a discussion about how many things we think are funny do not translate well to the outside community.  I told her that many things I find amusing are either confusing or offensive to others.  Granny laughed and said that she understood.  "I find myself really funny, especially after a drink or two.  God, I'm really funny then. Mostly, people just stare at me though..."

As the moderator for the blog and the comments that (nicely) come in, if I'm offended I have an option not to publish them, so I encourage you  all to say what you like.


Topic 2:  A nice resolution

Breast feeding was a bust (pun intended.)  I'm still not happy about the fact that after dealing with my allergic reaction to the antibiotics for my minor incision issue that my milk supply went from minimal to non-existent.  Lucy is fine on formula, it is VERY convenient, and the cocktail I had last night at dinner was tasty.   I have been walking around the breast pump and supplies that we purchased.  I want to make sure that it went to good use, and then I found a business card that someone handed me about 9 months ago.  There is a local organization that specializes in needs for families with babies.  I will be able to donate my almost new pump and unused supplies to an organization that will ensure it  will go to a family that needs it.  This makes the frustration and disappointment a bit easier to digest.

Quote of the week "Maybe Lucy will be stupid.."

Jason and I met with the financial services people today to set up her college savings fund and get the ins and outs of it.

Do your own research, but the 529 investment fund seems like a good bet to us. We put the money in (after taxes) and as long as the funds are used for a 'school' that is eligible for federal funding (college, trade schools, etc) the growth on our investment is tax free. Unlike the GET program where you purchase tuition credits, this fund allows for more flexibility of where the money can be used and it can be used for education related expenses - books, housing - that sort of thing.

If Lucy gets scholarship money we can pull out the same amount without a tax penalty. (NICE.) It can also be transferred to anyone we like, so if the child displeases us we can give the money to a better child.

In the car on the way home from the meeting Jason said "Maybe Lucy will be stupid and we can use the money to go to that culinary school in Italy that we were talking about." I wouldn't bank on that being the case, but maybe she will be so bright that colleges will be lining up to cover her expenses.

The bright spot (for me) is that the money people told us that if we invest $100 a month starting now, she should be fully covered for an in state university such as UW or WSU. If she "has" to go to Oxford in England then she'd better get cracking on the books as we're only planning on funding an in state education. It was nice to hear that we're not totally behind the 8-ball.

Busy week

We have a busy week on the books for us. Today Lucy is taking us to Costco and I'm making dinner this evening. (Buttermilk chicken, potatoes, green beans and some sort of sweet thing.)

Tomorrow Jas and I meeting with our financial adviser to set up a college fund for Lucy. I'm sure that we'll learn that at only 6 weeks old, we're behind the curve on the amount we've put away so far (not much.) We're going to take our poop machine out on the town Tuesday night and share her with the city of Renton. We'll be celebrating Lucy's 6 week birth-a-versary (and not cooking dinner at home.)

Wednesday Grandma S goes home, so our morning will be all about her soaking up every minute she can with Lucy.

Thursday I have my 6 week postpartum doctor appointment. Thank you Becky for coming to entertain Lucy while I see the doctor. I'm feeling 98% great. The 2% I'm missing is related to the lingering issue with my incision. The nurse was in agreement that waiting until this appointment was the right thing to do, and for the most part it isn't painful, but every now and then I notice that things aren't quite right. There's a tightness and a dull twinge (maybe a 1 on the pain scale) but the pain should be at a zero. So, Thursday we'll assess it.

After our appointment, we three girls will find somewhere to have lunch. To be honest, Lucy can and will eat anywhere. Becky and I will probably prefer to eat at PF Changs or The Cheesecake Factory. It will be Becky's choice and my treat.

Thursday night, Jason, Lucy and I will be meeting with Pastor K to discuss baptism for Miss Lucy.

Friday, Auntie Lynne will be coming over and J&I will be heading out to the symphony. We didn't renew our tickets for next year, but aren't going to pass on the ones we've already purchased either. We're blessed with a large number of Aunties who want to come hangout with Lucy while we go play. We're hoping to work in a date night at least once a month.

Next week Lucy and I will be practicing going to daycare. She'll do fine, I'm sure I'll be a wreck. We'll probably only do it Monday and Tuesday and certainly not for the whole day. I don't want to miss too much time with my girl.

Lucy is napping on the sheep right now. Poor little bunny has a bit of a cold. Her left sinus area is stuffed up and I've been using the bulb thing to remove the excess liquid. Wow, does she hate that! Helping her breathe easier is more important than the screaming she does for 3 minutes after a suction event. Being the mommy is a rough job.

Grandma S is upstairs doing laundry and vacuuming. I'm going to miss the doctor mandated vacation from the vacuum. The laundry thing she does is a huge bonus. I don't mind doing it and will keep up once she goes home, but my tolerance for piles is much larger than hers. I learned a while ago to let her do it.

More later!

Lucy's first bath

Day 1, hour 3

This is the video of Jason giving Lucy her first bath. I took this from my hospital bed, so what I saw, you see.

Video of Lucy

Here's our first attempt at loading video of Lucy. This is her at 2 weeks. Beware, there is a scary shot of mom with bed head...

Grandma's are great!

Lucy has two wonderful grandmas. Grandma S is visiting from Denver this week and has been busy diving into every dirty diaper and has been the willing recipient of our Lucy at 6am. I did have to put my foot down about Grandma helping with the 3am feedings. Those belong to mom & dad, mostly because I won't be able to sleep if I don't know what the schedule has been, and I selfishly like the snuggle.

Grandma G has been busy planning all sorts of wonderful things for Lucy including a tree swing and she's architecting a tree house. I don't know if she knows that it might be a few years before Lucy is allowed to climb a tree. I think we'll focus on holding her head up first. Grandma G called yesterday to ask about the proper spelling of Lucy's middle name. She wanted to make sure she spelled it right on the form she's using to legally change her middle name to Lucy's middle name. VERY FUNNY MOM!

Grandma G also said something that I'm sure you will all agree would be a grandparenting violation. "I can't wait until she comes to visit and I can cut her hair." SQUEEZE ME!? While it might be fun to sit the small kid down and chop her hair it will ALWAYS be strictly forbidden by us. ALWAYS. Let's be clear - if she cuts Lucy's hair (without permission) Grandma G will immediately be placed in the nearest (and cheapest) nursing home.

I was telling a friend about my mom's strange obsession with cutting the hair of small children and she shared a story (that may or may not be true) about a grandmother who had her grandson circumcised while the child was visiting. She decided it was necessary even though the parents had opted to not do it. I think you might be able to charge the crazy, overstepping grandma with assault for that stunt. Christmas or Chanukkah would be quite unpleasant that year and maybe for years to come.

Thankfully, I think Grandma G is yanking my chain about the hair cutting, but I'm serious about the fact that the activity IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. I'm saying NO. Do you hear me? NO.


In spite of my threats, it means the world to me that Lucy has four fabulous grandparents. Due to my "advanced maternal age" we could easily be missing a grandparent and that would be a huge loss, for us and Lucy.

I should go it is date night tonight. Grandma S is Lucy sitting and I need to make myself pretty.

A day in the life

happy, after a bath

I'm just hanging out on the changing table.

Getting ready to go for a ride

Daddy feeds Lucy

Napping on Momma

This is Mr. "I don't need a nap", napping

Later folks!

The Lucy news:

Dad went back to work today. Five weeks that flew by in seconds. I'm sure that we'll be parenting a 3 year old before we know it.

We were at the doctors office yesterday and plopped Lucy on the scale for an in between official appointments weigh in. Our little 7 pound 12 ounce baby has grown to 9 pounds 14 ounces. Go Lucy! We don't have the official weight because we didn't strip her naked or remove the diaper, so Jason and I are "calling it" at 9 pounds, 9 ounces. We'll have an official weigh in on her 2 month check up in May.

I'm solo parenting today, but in spite of my worry about not being able to set Lucy down I have had time to shower, dress, heck I've even used the loo a couple times. I've got some laundry going, uploaded photos and am working on more thank you notes.

I do have a confession that I have one thank you note to write and I can not remember what these kind folks sent to Lucy. I hope a vague thank you for your generosity isn't too obvious.

The little one is swinging in the rocker and napping so my window for activity is limited. I should go if I want to get the thank you notes done.

Changes

My life is still all about Lucy so you'll forgive one more baby post.  I'm sure once I get back to work that a more balanced TPgal will return. (sure...)  Today marks Lucy's one month birth-a-versary.  We will upload 1 month pictures as soon as we are out of pj's and return from our day of errands.  In the meantime here are some things I've learned over the past month:

1. A clean diaper is much more appealing to poop in.  Lucy is very apt to poop in a diaper 10 seconds after a new one has been applied than 10 seconds before a messy diaper is removed.
2. What worked two weeks ago, no longer works.  My mommy super powers of putting an upset Lucy to sleep have been tested this week.  No longer does the hold and rock move work.  Last night I tried to help a super tired girl go to sleep for over an hour.  Finally, I decided to resort to the trickiest of all tricks.  I set her down in the crib to go make a new bottle of formula, and when I returned the little screamer was fast asleep. Seriously!?  I had put her in the crib previously, but I guess I needed to lay her down, say "fine, I'll make a bottle" and walk away for it to work. 
3. Laundry is now sorted in piles of white, dark, and the new pink pile.
4. Laundry is something that takes all day.  I use to be able to fold the laundry while it was still warm from the dryer.  Now I'm happy if I get to it in the same day.
5. The hospitals are quick to bill for their services, but the insurance company (who require a social security number for a new person) are even quicker to deny the claim.  You would think that the hospital could delay the billing for at least a week to give new moms & dads time to get the new baby on the insurance policy.  Also, it seemed silly to me that our insurance company needed 2 business days to verify the addition of the new person to our claim.  Did they not just process nine months of claims related to a pregnancy?  These things ARE related.  
6. The days of Jason and I getting to eat together are over for a while.  It seems like Lucy needs attention just about every time we sit down to eat a meal.  My appreciation for warm food is growing.  I'm not complaining, I invited this small person into our house, but her timing is remarkable.   She will be perfectly content while we are cooking and then as soon as the food hits the plate - waaaaahhhhhhh

On an unrelated note, we took a field trip yesterday and drove to see the Snoqualmie Falls.  The rivers are at flood stages so we knew the falls would be impressive.  We were there for about 4 minutes  and were soaked from the mist.  We tried to get a more "straight on" photo, but the mist was so intense that you couldn't see the water.