I've calmed a bit since Friday and have decided NOT to take a contract out on the accountant.
Weekend Activities:
Went for a nice hike on Saturday morning.
Changed the oil in my car today. I got talked into an "engine flush" which actually made the Jetta run worse for a while.
Peter the wonder-kitty got a new kitty scratching post this weekend. It's a lovely two story carpet covered castle. He seems to like the wool bed and by moving it next to the desk I have stopped the annoying "pay attention to me" clawing that was happening.
Saw The Sentinal aka 24, the Movie. It wasn't as bad as I thought - in fact walking in with super low expectations I actually enjoyed it.
Dinner with a friend on Saturday night - Jimmy Mac's -- yummy ribs and country music
Got an e-harmony match today from someone that would like to actually talk... wow. I was getting use to 30 rejections a day.
I'm itching for a nap - but I know if I do I'll never sleep tonight. SIgh.
wow- could this BE any more dull? Yes, in fact it could. I could list the condiments in my 'fridge. Juni says that I have more condiments and less food than anyone she's ever known. It is a little saucy in there - I will agree with her on that point.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
Friday afternoon rant
On my way home from work tonight I took one last look at my blackberry to see if I missed any important messages and found one that hacked me off.
I've mentioned before that I'm the budget princess for our little department at MegaBank. With an ever-increasing effort to keep costs down and to increase our efficiency ratio so our stock prices will rise the pressure is on to spend less, do more with less and maintain a balanced budget. We (our little group) already took a 28% cut in our already tiny budget and we ARE looking for opportunities everywhere.
One thing we haven't thought to do is to stop paying invoices for stuff we've already consumed - i.e. bills for '05 or pagers for our Security Response program. The services were used, the bills were sent to me, I did my little bean counting part and sent them off to the division finance group. Before our big re-or I use to be able to just sent the approved invoices to Accounting and they would *GASP* pay the bills. The new process doesn't quite work that way. I send the bills in to a new group, they either throw them away, file them, send them to Canada or where ever and wait for me to call and ask for status.
When I finally do call - because the ANGRY MEAN COLLECTION Lady from SkyMart "We connect the world" Pager Co. wants her money - I am told the invoices were never received and that I actually have to send telecom invoices to Suzi, Consulting Invoices to Marcy and Meeting Expense invoices to RhondaJo. Seriously... I'm in MANAGEMENT do you think I'm smart enough to keep that straight? Hell No I can't. So, I fax over the copies of the invoices I've kept (because I trust no one) and give it a week. At this point I did fire off an e-mail to the team leader asking for procedures in writing so that in the future I could send my invoices in the right way to avoid future delays. Tell me how to deal with your team so I do it right. And, in this message I expressly pointed out that Marcy, Suzi & RhondaJo had been helpful and that I appreciated their efforts. I swear to the Lord above... it was a professional message.)
The next week because tracking these three invoices is all I have to do with my day, I call again and am told - "gee, I sent those over to Accounting, they must have gotten lost. I'll walk them over in the morning and send you an e-mail that it's done. Send me an e-mail reminder will you?" I send an e-mail detailing the invoice numbers, the impact of non-payment and that they needed to be paid. I thanked her for her help.
The next morning, cobwebs are growing on my phone.
Three days later I get an unrelated call from Dick H. Ead our actual financial analyst and at the end of the call I ask if he can help get the invoices paid. Dick warns me to be nice to Suzi because she's got a lot on her plate and that in the grand scheme of things, my little invoices aren't all that important. Then Dick H Ead tells me a little story "as a friend" Once, I worked at this company and the CFO was a nice guy, jovial, funny, but he pissed off the mailguy and you know what? He never got his mail again. I mailed additional copies of the invoices to the Mo-Fo. (that was Monday - and mail takes 3 hours to deliver.)
Nice story mr. dickhead - are you saying that bill payment at MegaBank is a relationship driven activity and only if I beg and bribe the little accounting clerk will our department get our bills paid? I relayed this anecdote to my boss who went through the roof and called HR to tell them that if Mr. dickhead threatened one of his employees ever again that he would personally contact the CFO for MegaBank and get the guy fired. (wow... I was merely upset that I had been accused of attacking the little clerk girl. He was super dooper pissed.)
Seriously, now the first of the invoices we are talking about here is from JANUARY and SkyMart has a contract out on my life - so after three business days of waiting for Dick to let me know he sent the invoices to Corporate Accounting I "accidentally" sent copies the corporate team myself.
So - back to the blackberry I check my messages and there is a message from Suzi who tells me that Dick has handed the invoices to her and she sent them to Sr. Manager Bob and Jr. Manager Henry to approve. Oh my freaking *&$%* (*%^#$ )^@$&5)&!!!! A) Dick promised to walk the items to a/p - not give them to Suzi -- AGAIN. and B) Bob and Henry have absolutely NOTHING to do with our budget nor has anyone ever said in the last 3 months that they would have to approve our items. For the record... My boss and Sr. Manager Bob are peers.
I am hoping that my super secret backdooring of the invoices to accounting will get the damn things paid but I know I will have to atone for end-running this useless department.
Somehow, by Monday I will need to document these events for my manager in a format that can be mailed to the Division Executive - but for now may I just say what a waste of time!
I've mentioned before that I'm the budget princess for our little department at MegaBank. With an ever-increasing effort to keep costs down and to increase our efficiency ratio so our stock prices will rise the pressure is on to spend less, do more with less and maintain a balanced budget. We (our little group) already took a 28% cut in our already tiny budget and we ARE looking for opportunities everywhere.
One thing we haven't thought to do is to stop paying invoices for stuff we've already consumed - i.e. bills for '05 or pagers for our Security Response program. The services were used, the bills were sent to me, I did my little bean counting part and sent them off to the division finance group. Before our big re-or I use to be able to just sent the approved invoices to Accounting and they would *GASP* pay the bills. The new process doesn't quite work that way. I send the bills in to a new group, they either throw them away, file them, send them to Canada or where ever and wait for me to call and ask for status.
When I finally do call - because the ANGRY MEAN COLLECTION Lady from SkyMart "We connect the world" Pager Co. wants her money - I am told the invoices were never received and that I actually have to send telecom invoices to Suzi, Consulting Invoices to Marcy and Meeting Expense invoices to RhondaJo. Seriously... I'm in MANAGEMENT do you think I'm smart enough to keep that straight? Hell No I can't. So, I fax over the copies of the invoices I've kept (because I trust no one) and give it a week. At this point I did fire off an e-mail to the team leader asking for procedures in writing so that in the future I could send my invoices in the right way to avoid future delays. Tell me how to deal with your team so I do it right. And, in this message I expressly pointed out that Marcy, Suzi & RhondaJo had been helpful and that I appreciated their efforts. I swear to the Lord above... it was a professional message.)
The next week because tracking these three invoices is all I have to do with my day, I call again and am told - "gee, I sent those over to Accounting, they must have gotten lost. I'll walk them over in the morning and send you an e-mail that it's done. Send me an e-mail reminder will you?" I send an e-mail detailing the invoice numbers, the impact of non-payment and that they needed to be paid. I thanked her for her help.
The next morning, cobwebs are growing on my phone.
Three days later I get an unrelated call from Dick H. Ead our actual financial analyst and at the end of the call I ask if he can help get the invoices paid. Dick warns me to be nice to Suzi because she's got a lot on her plate and that in the grand scheme of things, my little invoices aren't all that important. Then Dick H Ead tells me a little story "as a friend" Once, I worked at this company and the CFO was a nice guy, jovial, funny, but he pissed off the mailguy and you know what? He never got his mail again. I mailed additional copies of the invoices to the Mo-Fo. (that was Monday - and mail takes 3 hours to deliver.)
Nice story mr. dickhead - are you saying that bill payment at MegaBank is a relationship driven activity and only if I beg and bribe the little accounting clerk will our department get our bills paid? I relayed this anecdote to my boss who went through the roof and called HR to tell them that if Mr. dickhead threatened one of his employees ever again that he would personally contact the CFO for MegaBank and get the guy fired. (wow... I was merely upset that I had been accused of attacking the little clerk girl. He was super dooper pissed.)
Seriously, now the first of the invoices we are talking about here is from JANUARY and SkyMart has a contract out on my life - so after three business days of waiting for Dick to let me know he sent the invoices to Corporate Accounting I "accidentally" sent copies the corporate team myself.
So - back to the blackberry I check my messages and there is a message from Suzi who tells me that Dick has handed the invoices to her and she sent them to Sr. Manager Bob and Jr. Manager Henry to approve. Oh my freaking *&$%* (*%^#$ )^@$&5)&!!!! A) Dick promised to walk the items to a/p - not give them to Suzi -- AGAIN. and B) Bob and Henry have absolutely NOTHING to do with our budget nor has anyone ever said in the last 3 months that they would have to approve our items. For the record... My boss and Sr. Manager Bob are peers.
I am hoping that my super secret backdooring of the invoices to accounting will get the damn things paid but I know I will have to atone for end-running this useless department.
Somehow, by Monday I will need to document these events for my manager in a format that can be mailed to the Division Executive - but for now may I just say what a waste of time!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Saturday in the Park
Some more photo's from my Saturday outing to Coulon Park in Renton. I promise to come home before 10pm tonight so I can share some words of wisdom also known as general bitching with all y'all.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Spring
Oh yes, I took this picture myself. I'm quite the photographer. I'm not "arty" and I don't have a "vision" but I know pretty and every once in a while I capture it.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
eHarmony
So, after a few weeks on a 'free dating' site with no real hits I shared my situation with the Book Club Ladies and they prompted me to sign up at Match.com or eHarmony. I talked it over with Yaz and I decided what the heck. I'll try a mainstream dating site.
The detailed profile took FOREVER to complete but the assessment of who the potential Mr. TPgal is blew my mind. We'll see if there are any matches tomorrow and take it from there. It's a financial commitment - which I kinda hate but I suppose being found dead, alone with a cat in 15 years but the LDS isn't a good plan either.
Who knows.. maybe there will be more details to come.
The detailed profile took FOREVER to complete but the assessment of who the potential Mr. TPgal is blew my mind. We'll see if there are any matches tomorrow and take it from there. It's a financial commitment - which I kinda hate but I suppose being found dead, alone with a cat in 15 years but the LDS isn't a good plan either.
Who knows.. maybe there will be more details to come.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Who is tpGal? Secrets revealed
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: tpGal
Birthday: August 9th - late 60's
Birthplace: Sunnyside (of the street)
Current Location: the purple craft room
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: gosh, dirty blonde? I use to say "Clarol NiceN'easy 101 - but I think I'm corrected to my real hair color.
Height: 5' 5"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Blue
Your Heritage: er... English-Irish-Native American-white?
The Shoes You Wore Today: Brown Borns
Your Weakness: McDonalds
Your Fears: dying alone
Your Perfect Pizza: Pagliacci double pepperoni
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Habitual Exercise
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "*sarcasm*
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Jezzuz is it 5:15 already?"
Your Best Physical Feature: I have a cute nose
Your Bedtime: 10:15pm
Your Most Missed Memory: That millisecond before being really kissed, when you're just hanging on and leaning in
Pepsi or Coke: diet pepsi
MaDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's - I think I just said that
Single or Group Dates: any please
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: gross, no thanks
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate treats. Vanilla Ice cream?
Cappuccino or Coffee: Grande Non-fat no water Chai.
Do you Smoke: nope
Do you Swear: more than I would fucking like.
Do you Sing: In the car, around the house and at my desk at work. "That guy is a fucking ashole-omio" sounds better sung than screamed
Do you Shower Daily: Yes please
Have you Been in Love: I thought so a couple times... but I don't think so as an adult
Do you want to go to College: been there done that
Do you want to get Married: I'm a cliché - yes.
Do you believe in yourself: That's an odd question. I pay taxes so I know I exist - but do I value me... sure.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when I'm woozy.
Do you think you are Attractive: Use to
Are you a Health Freak: I hated Health.
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes, they are divine
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, they are delightfully scary.
Do you play an Instrument: no. Had a clarinet once - sucked. Can't really read music so I can memorize the finger positions, but get flustered easily.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes, red wine yesterday with Easter Dinner
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Well - the doc sedated me for the throat thing does that count?
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No
In the past month have you been on Stage: No
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Not unless taking a dip in my bathtub counts
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I took a soda out of the work fridge
Ever been Drunk: yes. I recall a couple memorable moments in college that were noteworthy. The kind of drunk where you have to hang onto the bed to keep from flinging off the earth. Not good. (but not in a really LONG LONG time.)
Ever been called a Tease: Um, no.
Ever been Beaten up: My older brother use to hold me down and pound on my chest with his finger until I peed my pants, but no significant bruises.
Ever Shoplifted: I stole a necklace from the Dennis Company when I was 12 and still feel terrible about it.
How do you want to Die: I guess in my sleep or with dignity
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: appreciative of the good things.
What country would you most like to Visit: Currently = Greece
In a Boy/Girl..
Favorite Eye Color: It doesn't really matter
Favorite Hair Color: Well, I"m drawn to red heads, but wouldn't kick a blonde or a brunette out of bed either.
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: my height or taller. but for the right guy who gives a crap? Go ahead make hobbit jokes if the dude loves me.
Weight: I can't pass judgment here without getting stoned to death by Jesus.
Best Clothing Style: preppy casual. Jeans and a good shirt
Number of Drugs I have taken: Illegal? One.
Number of CDs I own: Aprox. 208
Number of Piercings: three. one in the right ear and two in the left. Dad told me not to get the third piercing, but did I listen - oh no. Was he right? yes... not that I'll ever tell him.
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Just a couple
Name: tpGal
Birthday: August 9th - late 60's
Birthplace: Sunnyside (of the street)
Current Location: the purple craft room
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: gosh, dirty blonde? I use to say "Clarol NiceN'easy 101 - but I think I'm corrected to my real hair color.
Height: 5' 5"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Blue
Your Heritage: er... English-Irish-Native American-white?
The Shoes You Wore Today: Brown Borns
Your Weakness: McDonalds
Your Fears: dying alone
Your Perfect Pizza: Pagliacci double pepperoni
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Habitual Exercise
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "*sarcasm*
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Jezzuz is it 5:15 already?"
Your Best Physical Feature: I have a cute nose
Your Bedtime: 10:15pm
Your Most Missed Memory: That millisecond before being really kissed, when you're just hanging on and leaning in
Pepsi or Coke: diet pepsi
MaDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's - I think I just said that
Single or Group Dates: any please
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: gross, no thanks
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate treats. Vanilla Ice cream?
Cappuccino or Coffee: Grande Non-fat no water Chai.
Do you Smoke: nope
Do you Swear: more than I would fucking like.
Do you Sing: In the car, around the house and at my desk at work. "That guy is a fucking ashole-omio" sounds better sung than screamed
Do you Shower Daily: Yes please
Have you Been in Love: I thought so a couple times... but I don't think so as an adult
Do you want to go to College: been there done that
Do you want to get Married: I'm a cliché - yes.
Do you believe in yourself: That's an odd question. I pay taxes so I know I exist - but do I value me... sure.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when I'm woozy.
Do you think you are Attractive: Use to
Are you a Health Freak: I hated Health.
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes, they are divine
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, they are delightfully scary.
Do you play an Instrument: no. Had a clarinet once - sucked. Can't really read music so I can memorize the finger positions, but get flustered easily.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes, red wine yesterday with Easter Dinner
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Well - the doc sedated me for the throat thing does that count?
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No
In the past month have you been on Stage: No
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Not unless taking a dip in my bathtub counts
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I took a soda out of the work fridge
Ever been Drunk: yes. I recall a couple memorable moments in college that were noteworthy. The kind of drunk where you have to hang onto the bed to keep from flinging off the earth. Not good. (but not in a really LONG LONG time.)
Ever been called a Tease: Um, no.
Ever been Beaten up: My older brother use to hold me down and pound on my chest with his finger until I peed my pants, but no significant bruises.
Ever Shoplifted: I stole a necklace from the Dennis Company when I was 12 and still feel terrible about it.
How do you want to Die: I guess in my sleep or with dignity
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: appreciative of the good things.
What country would you most like to Visit: Currently = Greece
In a Boy/Girl..
Favorite Eye Color: It doesn't really matter
Favorite Hair Color: Well, I"m drawn to red heads, but wouldn't kick a blonde or a brunette out of bed either.
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: my height or taller. but for the right guy who gives a crap? Go ahead make hobbit jokes if the dude loves me.
Weight: I can't pass judgment here without getting stoned to death by Jesus.
Best Clothing Style: preppy casual. Jeans and a good shirt
Number of Drugs I have taken: Illegal? One.
Number of CDs I own: Aprox. 208
Number of Piercings: three. one in the right ear and two in the left. Dad told me not to get the third piercing, but did I listen - oh no. Was he right? yes... not that I'll ever tell him.
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Just a couple
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Jesus is risen. Let's eat Ham!
Easter was never a big holiday in my house during my childhood. We weren't really a church family. My parents both had a religious upbringing - Mom's was a southern Baptist experience (Can you say amen? amen. I can't hear you... AMEN.) Dad's experience was a bit more uptight. I envision judgmental homemakers in hats and white gloves with drunken husbands and shameful secrets. I'm not sure if it was adult onset rebellion or a desire to sleep in on Sunday but we seldom went to church as a family. I don't see this as a huge loss - we are not a broken family and we do have a sense of faith. It is very personal and not forced.
As an adult doubts about the Sunday school version of Jesus and the bible have set in. I have faith in a higher power and find many things about organized Christianity to be comforting and calming. I do not however, think that it is necessarily healthy to focus on the super theatrical portions of biblical history.
My friend Yazmine spent her Sunday morning watching some guy reenacting the resurrection at the Eastside-Way-Nutty-Evangelical-Believe-in-Jesus-But-Voted-For-Bush Church. Yaz is there because of a marriage to a very normal and delightful guy with a wack-a-do mother. She endures it and holds her tounge while these so called men of God spout what would sound to most people (if they could take a step back) as xenophobic propaganda. Yaz uses her forced Sunday experiences as a sociological study in how and why the Red States are so different from us Blue Staters.
I can not force myself to believe that only Christians are going to have a happy afterlife. I think there will be many "born agains" who will be shocked to find themselves in the hereafter with Buddist, Muslim and *gasp* Jewish people/spirits -- whatever. Heck, there may even be atheists there - wouldn't that be kind of funny. God introduces Oral Roberts to someone who never even heard of God, let alone donated money to the Trinity Broadcasting Network. That my friends would make me laugh.
So, I didn't mean to get into or open up a grand religious debate. Go ahead, post hate replies telling me I'm going to hell, but before you do ask yourself... what would Jesus post?
Friday, April 14, 2006
Good Friday
Doctor Fun's Current cartoon
This Australian cartoonist is a little twisted... and thus it's obvious I think it's funny.
Hoppy Easter!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Oops, they did get the watermelon reference.
I guess students are smarter than the folks drafting exams at Bellevue Community College.
This question on a practice math test raised the ire of some of the "diversity" students:
"Condoleezza holds a watermelon just over the edge of the roof of the 300-foot Federal Building, and tosses it up with a velocity of 20 feet per second." The question went on to ask when the watermelon will hit the ground, based on a formula provided. (see the whole article: lezza)
The college apologized but I think the damage is done. I was just in the process of drafting a post about my friend Osama who has been "camping" in the mountains and trying to count the number of camels he has - but it's just not funny anymore. Not Cool.
This question on a practice math test raised the ire of some of the "diversity" students:
"Condoleezza holds a watermelon just over the edge of the roof of the 300-foot Federal Building, and tosses it up with a velocity of 20 feet per second." The question went on to ask when the watermelon will hit the ground, based on a formula provided. (see the whole article: lezza)
The college apologized but I think the damage is done. I was just in the process of drafting a post about my friend Osama who has been "camping" in the mountains and trying to count the number of camels he has - but it's just not funny anymore. Not Cool.
Lucky In Love
Online dating is a crock of crap. Pedophiles and predators waiting to tell you what you want to hear, lure you into a dark alley, rape and kill you and then take your identity and buy that MiniCooper that you wouldn't have bought for yourself. (I know the Mini Cooper isn't the official car of the online murderer - they really are the target market for something with a little more room for bodies like a Dodge Caravan or Subaru Outback.)
One of my biggest fears about online dating is the opportunity for rejection. I do good phone, and if you are a regular reader you know that I'm somewhat witty with the written word. I ain't ugly as I've been told, but I'm not what you would call average size.
The strategy of waiting for Mr. TPgal to knock on my door has been a stellar failure. Although, two nicely dressed men from the "church" knocked on my door last night. Convinced I was a fallen member of the LDS they wanted to talk to me about coming back to "church." I apparently have been a member and even went on a mission. Wow.. it must have been some party because I totally don't remember it. I am a terrible sinner as I sit here with my diet soda listening to *gasp* Rick Springfield. (loading music into iTunes -- forgive me.) There is another TPgal in the Seattle area - she worked at Boeing and once managed to change the address on my Bon Marche (that's Macy's to you newbies) charge card.
I decided that if my friend RichieRich can find true love on the web that I could give it a go. He's an amazing guy, funny, attractive, smart, normal -- he found his Mrs. RichieRich and they've been blissfully married for about 3 years. SO, if someone normal like RR is online, maybe there's another one out there. So I posted a profile online on a dating site that is forth coming about the physical attributes of the singles.
So far, all the 'responses' have been very generic. "Nice Photo!" from Bubba98046 - but when I click to read about Bubba there's no data in his profile which leads me to think he's a murderous rapist who couldn't be bothered to lie about being a doctor and animal shelter volunteer.
Tonight though... I've got a live one. Jack4692 from get this Ocean Park. Holly Crap - a live one from my former stomping grounds. One little problem, he's 56! Now, don't get me wrong I'm not an ageist - but 56 is 19 years my senior and that age difference didn't work out so well for Princess Dianna did it? Ok, you're asking yourself... is she really comparing herself to the former future Queen of England? Hell yeah I am. If I can't learn from others what good is having a tv?
Anyway -- the other thing about Mr. 4692 is that he's not that great with the camera see:
I know I sound like a super picky, judgmental b*tch but I've learned that if it smells funny... something ain't right. Well, at least he bothered to put on a shirt that looks like hospital scrubs... wait, maybe he IS a doctor. Dr & Mrs. TpGal...
One of my biggest fears about online dating is the opportunity for rejection. I do good phone, and if you are a regular reader you know that I'm somewhat witty with the written word. I ain't ugly as I've been told, but I'm not what you would call average size.
The strategy of waiting for Mr. TPgal to knock on my door has been a stellar failure. Although, two nicely dressed men from the "church" knocked on my door last night. Convinced I was a fallen member of the LDS they wanted to talk to me about coming back to "church." I apparently have been a member and even went on a mission. Wow.. it must have been some party because I totally don't remember it. I am a terrible sinner as I sit here with my diet soda listening to *gasp* Rick Springfield. (loading music into iTunes -- forgive me.) There is another TPgal in the Seattle area - she worked at Boeing and once managed to change the address on my Bon Marche (that's Macy's to you newbies) charge card.
I decided that if my friend RichieRich can find true love on the web that I could give it a go. He's an amazing guy, funny, attractive, smart, normal -- he found his Mrs. RichieRich and they've been blissfully married for about 3 years. SO, if someone normal like RR is online, maybe there's another one out there. So I posted a profile online on a dating site that is forth coming about the physical attributes of the singles.
So far, all the 'responses' have been very generic. "Nice Photo!" from Bubba98046 - but when I click to read about Bubba there's no data in his profile which leads me to think he's a murderous rapist who couldn't be bothered to lie about being a doctor and animal shelter volunteer.
Tonight though... I've got a live one. Jack4692 from get this Ocean Park. Holly Crap - a live one from my former stomping grounds. One little problem, he's 56! Now, don't get me wrong I'm not an ageist - but 56 is 19 years my senior and that age difference didn't work out so well for Princess Dianna did it? Ok, you're asking yourself... is she really comparing herself to the former future Queen of England? Hell yeah I am. If I can't learn from others what good is having a tv?
Anyway -- the other thing about Mr. 4692 is that he's not that great with the camera see:
I know I sound like a super picky, judgmental b*tch but I've learned that if it smells funny... something ain't right. Well, at least he bothered to put on a shirt that looks like hospital scrubs... wait, maybe he IS a doctor. Dr & Mrs. TpGal...
Monday, April 10, 2006
The Dreadmill
As much as I love my tv and my new boyfriend DVR I think the time has come to give up the couch. My ass is HUGE.
I signed up to play softball again on the church team and have decided that it's probably not wise to let the games be my only form of exercise this summer. I've started spending time on the handy equipment that my monthly condo association fees give me access. The trick for me is to keep moving once I get home. Once my bum hits the soft corner of the couch it's all over for me. This is acceptable behavior every now and then - but not every night. I'd rather not blow out the ham string the first game. You wouldn't think of it but I can get on base. The other teams take a look at me and assume I'm an easy out. Not so! I can't hit the ball very far so I hit down and 9 times out of 10 it will bounce over the shortstops head and I advance the runner and get to first base. I don't generally make it around and score - but the other team always goes for me because I"m 'easy'. They are so busy getting me out that one of my more fast team members can score. It's a beautiful thing.
So this morning I laid out my gym clothes so that I wouldn't be tempted to change into my cozy pj's upon arrival home. It totally worked. I jumped into the gym (thankfully the stinky sweaty guy wasn't there) and the elliptical machine was open so I cranked up the iPod (which is malfunctioning right now- grr) took a couple puffs on the inhaler (asthma) and cranked the timer to 30 minutes. Suzy Skinny from G238 was running on the ancient treadmill and had the tv turned up to hear over her panting - it was so loud that I could hear it outside. When the deaf guy from two buildings away calls the cops it may be a hint that the TV may be on too loud. I of course, didn't say anything my co-workers think of me as a ninny and I don't need the neighbors to turn on me too.
It felt good to work up a good sweat. I don't know what my mental illness is that makes it easy for me to do anything but work out. I certainly don't enjoy being overweight. The self loathing is pretty palpable and the inner dialog isn't kind. Knowing what you should do and doing it are two different things. My people are supportive to be sure but nothing will change unless I do.
I'll never be Yazmine skinny but I can be healthy. Resolve is a good thing - SadRico and I are going to take a short vacation to Mexico in the fall and I'd rather not be uber flabby. We have enough problems with illegal immigration without me causing the entire citizenship of Mexico to flee into the southern states to get away from me in a bathing suit. (See what I mean about the inner dialog? It isn't nice - and it doesn't really curb the snacking either. You would think it would - but it doesn't.)
I signed up to play softball again on the church team and have decided that it's probably not wise to let the games be my only form of exercise this summer. I've started spending time on the handy equipment that my monthly condo association fees give me access. The trick for me is to keep moving once I get home. Once my bum hits the soft corner of the couch it's all over for me. This is acceptable behavior every now and then - but not every night. I'd rather not blow out the ham string the first game. You wouldn't think of it but I can get on base. The other teams take a look at me and assume I'm an easy out. Not so! I can't hit the ball very far so I hit down and 9 times out of 10 it will bounce over the shortstops head and I advance the runner and get to first base. I don't generally make it around and score - but the other team always goes for me because I"m 'easy'. They are so busy getting me out that one of my more fast team members can score. It's a beautiful thing.
So this morning I laid out my gym clothes so that I wouldn't be tempted to change into my cozy pj's upon arrival home. It totally worked. I jumped into the gym (thankfully the stinky sweaty guy wasn't there) and the elliptical machine was open so I cranked up the iPod (which is malfunctioning right now- grr) took a couple puffs on the inhaler (asthma) and cranked the timer to 30 minutes. Suzy Skinny from G238 was running on the ancient treadmill and had the tv turned up to hear over her panting - it was so loud that I could hear it outside. When the deaf guy from two buildings away calls the cops it may be a hint that the TV may be on too loud. I of course, didn't say anything my co-workers think of me as a ninny and I don't need the neighbors to turn on me too.
It felt good to work up a good sweat. I don't know what my mental illness is that makes it easy for me to do anything but work out. I certainly don't enjoy being overweight. The self loathing is pretty palpable and the inner dialog isn't kind. Knowing what you should do and doing it are two different things. My people are supportive to be sure but nothing will change unless I do.
I'll never be Yazmine skinny but I can be healthy. Resolve is a good thing - SadRico and I are going to take a short vacation to Mexico in the fall and I'd rather not be uber flabby. We have enough problems with illegal immigration without me causing the entire citizenship of Mexico to flee into the southern states to get away from me in a bathing suit. (See what I mean about the inner dialog? It isn't nice - and it doesn't really curb the snacking either. You would think it would - but it doesn't.)
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Saturday Morning
So, it's Saturday morning - or as it's known in the TPcondo - housecleaning day. I've got plenty to do - hang the frames dragged home from IKEA, store the linens given to me by a friends parents. Dr. B went to an estate sale and purchased the lot of linens - tablecloths, napkins, hand towels, tea towels, pillow case - a plethora of items to be sure. Iit wasn't until he got home and showed them to Mrs. Dr. B that he saw that each and every item had a monogram - a nice big tone on tone P. After seaching their address book for a P person, they came across me. Now, I can of course never get married - or will have to keep my name once I finally trick someone into marrying me - but to it will be worth it to keep using the linens.
So, instead of finishing the laundry, changing sheets, vacuuming I'm farting around on the Internet. I found a desk I like - but since I already have a desk that is for the most part ok it seems like a dumb thing to want.
I read an article on Slate about Trader Joe's so I'm also craving a trip to TJ's to see what they've got in store for me this week. I really love the frozen French Onion soup pods. They are the perfect combo of salty goodness.
I also scanned the movie times to see if there's anything out there worth switching out of sweat pants for... not really. Slither looks creepy, Lucky Number Slevin looks strange and I'm I know everyone in who has been brow beating me to see Napolean Dynamite will be seeing Benchwarmers - but I have no interest. I did see V for Vendetta last night. I thought this movie was supposed to be a smash hit - but the theater was basically empty. The only other people in the theater besides SadRico and I were an older couple and a suspicious dude in a suit. The movie is about rising up against your oppresive government and my guess is that the suit dude was an agent of the Bush League taking names so we don't get out of line.
The entire theater was void of people, not just our show. The parking lot, which is normally jammed with cars was empty. As we walked to our car I wondered aloud if the Rapture had happened and we were (gasp) left behind. SadRico who is clearly more secure of his position upstairs was all like "No, I wouldn't be left behind." I like the use of the word "I" and not "we" thanks dude, I'll miss you. But remember, I've got your house key and don't think I won't sell your shit and use your credit cards until Bank of America figures it out. Not that you'll care - you'll be hottubbing with the 9/11 hijackers who I'm SURE are totally in heaven right now (yeah right - I hope it's nice and hot where you are mo'fo's)
A small complaint about my iMac. I know I've made my bed and I should just shut up - but the web experience is different for Mac users - on a PC the blogger window offers easy click and use tools to bold text, change colors, add hyperlinks... on a Mac I have to resort to actually putting in the HTML code. This is not a skill I really truely have - my trick is to hop back in time to an entry that has the code I need and then copy and paste it in. I'm lame. (I would have bolded that.. but who knows how?)
Maybe I'll try it.. without cheating:
I'm Lame
nope...
Wahooo, I figured it out! I did cheat - but maybe I learned something along the way? Crap, now I can't turn it off.... did that work?yup - the hard thing (for me) about HTML is that one little misplaced or missing "/" can cause things not to work the way you want.
Finally - last little thing before I move the clothes from the washer into the dryer... I took a call last night from a public policy research pollster. I have one thing to say... LISTEN UP *SSH*LES if you say the survey is 5 minutes... make it 5 minutes... not 17 minutes and 55 seconds! And questions like this are not really all that great:
Would you say that statement A or B more closely represents your opinion:
A: The boeing company cares about the State of Washington
or
B: I drive a foreign car because I hate America
Um, both?
When the headlines of the Sunday paper read: Unpatriotic Americans don't value Boeing's contribution to the State of Washington you'll know it was me.
So, instead of finishing the laundry, changing sheets, vacuuming I'm farting around on the Internet. I found a desk I like - but since I already have a desk that is for the most part ok it seems like a dumb thing to want.
I read an article on Slate about Trader Joe's so I'm also craving a trip to TJ's to see what they've got in store for me this week. I really love the frozen French Onion soup pods. They are the perfect combo of salty goodness.
I also scanned the movie times to see if there's anything out there worth switching out of sweat pants for... not really. Slither looks creepy, Lucky Number Slevin looks strange and I'm I know everyone in who has been brow beating me to see Napolean Dynamite will be seeing Benchwarmers - but I have no interest. I did see V for Vendetta last night. I thought this movie was supposed to be a smash hit - but the theater was basically empty. The only other people in the theater besides SadRico and I were an older couple and a suspicious dude in a suit. The movie is about rising up against your oppresive government and my guess is that the suit dude was an agent of the Bush League taking names so we don't get out of line.
The entire theater was void of people, not just our show. The parking lot, which is normally jammed with cars was empty. As we walked to our car I wondered aloud if the Rapture had happened and we were (gasp) left behind. SadRico who is clearly more secure of his position upstairs was all like "No, I wouldn't be left behind." I like the use of the word "I" and not "we" thanks dude, I'll miss you. But remember, I've got your house key and don't think I won't sell your shit and use your credit cards until Bank of America figures it out. Not that you'll care - you'll be hottubbing with the 9/11 hijackers who I'm SURE are totally in heaven right now (yeah right - I hope it's nice and hot where you are mo'fo's)
A small complaint about my iMac. I know I've made my bed and I should just shut up - but the web experience is different for Mac users - on a PC the blogger window offers easy click and use tools to bold text, change colors, add hyperlinks... on a Mac I have to resort to actually putting in the HTML code. This is not a skill I really truely have - my trick is to hop back in time to an entry that has the code I need and then copy and paste it in. I'm lame. (I would have bolded that.. but who knows how?)
Maybe I'll try it.. without cheating:
I'm Lame
nope...
Wahooo, I figured it out! I did cheat - but maybe I learned something along the way? Crap, now I can't turn it off.... did that work?yup - the hard thing (for me) about HTML is that one little misplaced or missing "/" can cause things not to work the way you want.
Finally - last little thing before I move the clothes from the washer into the dryer... I took a call last night from a public policy research pollster. I have one thing to say... LISTEN UP *SSH*LES if you say the survey is 5 minutes... make it 5 minutes... not 17 minutes and 55 seconds! And questions like this are not really all that great:
Would you say that statement A or B more closely represents your opinion:
A: The boeing company cares about the State of Washington
or
B: I drive a foreign car because I hate America
Um, both?
When the headlines of the Sunday paper read: Unpatriotic Americans don't value Boeing's contribution to the State of Washington you'll know it was me.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Ode to Becca
Freed from work a little early today I stopped into my friend Becca's house. I took a chance that I would catch her at home. She's the happy mom of a delightully cheerful boy who was sadly napping during my visit. She was assembling a storage cart for her and the Durfmeister's golf clubs. It looked deceptively simple - a few pieces and just a couple screws so of course it took over an hour to do.
It's so good to see the people with whom you can just be. We met our first week of college. She and some girl had the dorm room next to Psycho-Lara and me. Becca remembers our first encounter - it was a sunny day and I breezed by her door while she was sitting on the bed and popped my head in and said "I can see your underwear." I, of course, do not remember this, but will take her word for it. Becca's roommate lasted a grand total of four days before bugging out and going home. She left her books for Becca to sell at the end of the term - not the brightest of ideas. For the record, she did get SOME of her money back.
The next year due to unfortunate grades and my unwillingness to move out with Psycho-Lara (to be honest I wasn't asked) Becca and I ended up sharing the double room for a year. We were perfectly suited and yet drove each other nuts. I was a bumpkinland refugee and she was the sophisticated city girl. We got into trouble together, talked about boys, school and made fun of Psycho-Lara and the rest of the dorm gang. We realized that we too lived in the dorms, but we really did feel superior. Go figure.
We also had a language:
Hey Ski Pants! = Hey, Ski Fans.... (an intro to a Warren Miller film)
Kamiaken = Welcome (A misunderstanding while driving that seems to work for us. It went like this - Becca "What's hawaiian for welcome?" Tpgal [pointing to the street we were looking for] "Kamiaken" Becca [with a sweeping Vanna White move] "Kamiaken!"
"I can't give you half of the $5 bill and expect you to understand it as change! You will have to wait until I can go to the post office and buy a 22 cent stamp." - a late late night conversation that was recorded for no sane reason.
"How do you accidentally sleep with Todd's girlfriend?" - poor Dave...
"I'll give you 5 American dollars to make out with my friend." - I owe her an apology for this one but that was also the same night I slept in a bathtub. At the time it didn't seem like a terrible offer -and it was American not Canadian dollars so it was worth more.
She has the ability to make me laugh the ugly American Tourist laugh. Think of the loudest, blow milk out your nose kind of laughter. It's good to have friends like that.
We're the kind of friends that we don't have to talk to understand each other. We hadn't talked in a while due to schedules and other priorities and when she called me at 8am on a Sunday and couldn't even say hello I knew in my heart that something bad had happened. Her dad had been in an accident and thankfully is still with us - but even just thinking about that 3 seconds of silence brings tears to my eyes. She, like me, has that special father daughter bond that you never want to let go of, or admit that won't last forever. Our relationships with our mothers are also similar - we had a hard time as teenagers finding the balance between wanting to be and actually being adults. Our moms took the brunt of that stuggle. Sorry Mom, it doesn't mean we don't love you...
My point is that it is good to have friends that you can pop over and visit unannounced. Spending an hour with her today made my day!
Having a friend like Becca is "like living in a tree!" (translation: living in a dream)
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
what time is it?
As MWR kindly pointed out - I'm an idiot. When we "spring forward" we do lose an hour, and 5am is the old 4am and thus yes, it is actually DARKER in the morning.
I stand by my statement that the cat is up at all hours of the night knocking crap off the night stand. A smart (and tidy) person wouldn't have anything on the night stand, but I refuse to be intimidated by a creature that has 'relations' with a blanket. I also can't be bothered to actually clean my house. I did drag out the vacuum last night - but it was under protest. I live alone, so imagine the scariness of that conversation.
I'm still trying to get through my bookclub book - HERZOG by Saul Bellows. Can I confide in y'all that I don't get it. For every sentence of linear plot there are 14 pages of swirling thoughts, half written letters to old lovers, employers, and the President. In spite of my inability to tell time I think I'm relatively erudite - but Saul has it over on me. He's out there and I don't get it. I'm weak - I need a plot.
Thumbs up to Grey's Anatomy - who as a plus sized actress getting some action. The best part is that her size isn't THE story. You go girlfriend - get yer swirl on! I do wonder how long it will take Meredith and George to be friends again. They teased me last night (I know the show is on Sundays - but I have DVR people) and made me think he would forgive her for using him for sex when she KNEW he loved her. But - it looks like a NEW Dr. McDreamy is in town. Yes, gals Robin the gay sidekick of that flamboyant Batman is a possible LI (that's love interest if you're still reading me) for Ally McBeal -- I mean Meredith Grey.
You know, sometimes I worry that my posts are silly and useless. I look at other folks who post smart political commentary, fresh insights into our world and I wonder if I'm just trite. However, I was looking at my super smart friend's blog and he's got pictures of a dog and a cat in uniform posted. It scared me - but then I realized that I"m free to post what I like!
Lastly, if you have HBO - there is a documentary playing this month called Paperclips. It is quite wonderful and I encourage you to see it. A middle school in nowhere Tennessee/Arkansas (samething) decided to collect a paperclip for every Jewish person killed in the holocaust. The documentary interviews the kids, teachers and survivors that worked together to create a moving memorial. If you don't have HBO - get the movie any way you can - Netflix, Blockbuster... Amazon. It's a lovely story.
I stand by my statement that the cat is up at all hours of the night knocking crap off the night stand. A smart (and tidy) person wouldn't have anything on the night stand, but I refuse to be intimidated by a creature that has 'relations' with a blanket. I also can't be bothered to actually clean my house. I did drag out the vacuum last night - but it was under protest. I live alone, so imagine the scariness of that conversation.
I'm still trying to get through my bookclub book - HERZOG by Saul Bellows. Can I confide in y'all that I don't get it. For every sentence of linear plot there are 14 pages of swirling thoughts, half written letters to old lovers, employers, and the President. In spite of my inability to tell time I think I'm relatively erudite - but Saul has it over on me. He's out there and I don't get it. I'm weak - I need a plot.
Thumbs up to Grey's Anatomy - who as a plus sized actress getting some action. The best part is that her size isn't THE story. You go girlfriend - get yer swirl on! I do wonder how long it will take Meredith and George to be friends again. They teased me last night (I know the show is on Sundays - but I have DVR people) and made me think he would forgive her for using him for sex when she KNEW he loved her. But - it looks like a NEW Dr. McDreamy is in town. Yes, gals Robin the gay sidekick of that flamboyant Batman is a possible LI (that's love interest if you're still reading me) for Ally McBeal -- I mean Meredith Grey.
You know, sometimes I worry that my posts are silly and useless. I look at other folks who post smart political commentary, fresh insights into our world and I wonder if I'm just trite. However, I was looking at my super smart friend's blog and he's got pictures of a dog and a cat in uniform posted. It scared me - but then I realized that I"m free to post what I like!
Lastly, if you have HBO - there is a documentary playing this month called Paperclips. It is quite wonderful and I encourage you to see it. A middle school in nowhere Tennessee/Arkansas (samething) decided to collect a paperclip for every Jewish person killed in the holocaust. The documentary interviews the kids, teachers and survivors that worked together to create a moving memorial. If you don't have HBO - get the movie any way you can - Netflix, Blockbuster... Amazon. It's a lovely story.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Daylight Savings... the downside
So, it's going to be awesome when I get up in the morning it will be light and the trip to the bus won't be an adventure. However, until we get adjusted the time change is a pain.
Satan - aka Peter who likes to eat at 5am was up super early and to get me up and moving (on a sunday?) jumped over my head to the night stand and started knocking things off. My book(Herzog by Saul Bellows), the water bottle (which I use instead of a glass for just this reason) my night guard (sexy!) holder and finally the alarm clock.
I got up long enough to kick him out of the bedroom so I could try to sleep until 7:30. I did catch some more shut eye but it was hard wtih him body slamming the bedroom door. I know I COULD have just fed him, but I know he can read... he knows that it's Sunday. Crazy cat lady needs her sleep!
So, on much less sleep than I anticipated I accidentally took a nap this afternoon and so now here it is 'time to go to bed' and not only does my body KNOW it's not really 10:30, I'm not pooped enough to fake it. However, since 5 am comes in six and a half hours whether I go to bed or not.. I should try.
Lastly, I probably shouldn't post this pix of the cat but he's so shameless... He is a big boy, but this particular pose highlights his stature.
Satan - aka Peter who likes to eat at 5am was up super early and to get me up and moving (on a sunday?) jumped over my head to the night stand and started knocking things off. My book(Herzog by Saul Bellows), the water bottle (which I use instead of a glass for just this reason) my night guard (sexy!) holder and finally the alarm clock.
I got up long enough to kick him out of the bedroom so I could try to sleep until 7:30. I did catch some more shut eye but it was hard wtih him body slamming the bedroom door. I know I COULD have just fed him, but I know he can read... he knows that it's Sunday. Crazy cat lady needs her sleep!
So, on much less sleep than I anticipated I accidentally took a nap this afternoon and so now here it is 'time to go to bed' and not only does my body KNOW it's not really 10:30, I'm not pooped enough to fake it. However, since 5 am comes in six and a half hours whether I go to bed or not.. I should try.
Lastly, I probably shouldn't post this pix of the cat but he's so shameless... He is a big boy, but this particular pose highlights his stature.
Mirror Dogs
Sara and Libby Holman-Lucas after a hard day, sure they look innocent and sweet but tell that to these two:
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