Thursday, April 13, 2006

Lucky In Love

Online dating is a crock of crap. Pedophiles and predators waiting to tell you what you want to hear, lure you into a dark alley, rape and kill you and then take your identity and buy that MiniCooper that you wouldn't have bought for yourself. (I know the Mini Cooper isn't the official car of the online murderer - they really are the target market for something with a little more room for bodies like a Dodge Caravan or Subaru Outback.)

One of my biggest fears about online dating is the opportunity for rejection. I do good phone, and if you are a regular reader you know that I'm somewhat witty with the written word. I ain't ugly as I've been told, but I'm not what you would call average size.

The strategy of waiting for Mr. TPgal to knock on my door has been a stellar failure. Although, two nicely dressed men from the "church" knocked on my door last night. Convinced I was a fallen member of the LDS they wanted to talk to me about coming back to "church." I apparently have been a member and even went on a mission. Wow.. it must have been some party because I totally don't remember it. I am a terrible sinner as I sit here with my diet soda listening to *gasp* Rick Springfield. (loading music into iTunes -- forgive me.) There is another TPgal in the Seattle area - she worked at Boeing and once managed to change the address on my Bon Marche (that's Macy's to you newbies) charge card.

I decided that if my friend RichieRich can find true love on the web that I could give it a go. He's an amazing guy, funny, attractive, smart, normal -- he found his Mrs. RichieRich and they've been blissfully married for about 3 years. SO, if someone normal like RR is online, maybe there's another one out there. So I posted a profile online on a dating site that is forth coming about the physical attributes of the singles.

So far, all the 'responses' have been very generic. "Nice Photo!" from Bubba98046 - but when I click to read about Bubba there's no data in his profile which leads me to think he's a murderous rapist who couldn't be bothered to lie about being a doctor and animal shelter volunteer.

Tonight though... I've got a live one. Jack4692 from get this Ocean Park. Holly Crap - a live one from my former stomping grounds. One little problem, he's 56! Now, don't get me wrong I'm not an ageist - but 56 is 19 years my senior and that age difference didn't work out so well for Princess Dianna did it? Ok, you're asking yourself... is she really comparing herself to the former future Queen of England? Hell yeah I am. If I can't learn from others what good is having a tv?

Anyway -- the other thing about Mr. 4692 is that he's not that great with the camera see:

I know I sound like a super picky, judgmental b*tch but I've learned that if it smells funny... something ain't right. Well, at least he bothered to put on a shirt that looks like hospital scrubs... wait, maybe he IS a doctor. Dr & Mrs. TpGal...


Robin Daly said...

His bathroom walls are WHITE - ugh!

syp said...

Ocean Park? I'm putting my foot down and saying "no."

MWR said...

Um, that's his body-disposal outfit. A definite red flag.

"Yes, it is blood, officer, and in fact I'm late for another surgery."

I'm sure that line has saved his ass more than once.