I'm 100% convinced now. Here's a snippet of our email conversations (mine are edited- his are mostly not). Notice how he doesn't answer questions - and the "excellent" use of grammar. I almost want to think he's the brother of a Nigerian Prince.
Also... his profile listed him as being from Italy, and transplanted in the U.S. - but his name. Randy Hall, couldn't be less ethnic. What a bozo.
"Randy": My name is Randy was looking through when I went through your profile,I must say it really set an attraction to me,I would like to get to know you better,I love reading,listening to music..I am very passionate, and loving, and very serious in my romancing... i do not kid you when i say i want to show you the world in my eyes............,I know that it takes time to trust and believe in me... by my effort is to do this one thing... to be your best friend, and know that this dating is the thing that you can trust and rely on me for, and count on me to be there for you...But im quite new to this internet dating stuff and I'll be closing down my account as its not getting exciting to me.My ideal match is someone who has a zest for life,someone who can have laugh and have fun but,and at the same time,she most be responsible...I would like to get to know you better, here is My email address .cos my subscription will end soon. I end now and wish you a great day and hope your day started off well since my emails enter your life.
TPGal: Thanks for your e-mail this morning. It was a busy day but it was nice to hear from you. In the interest of getting to know each other tell me how you landed in Seattle. Your profile said that you have a child - may I ask about how old he or she is?
"Randy": Am really great to get your mail today ... , i would like to say what a beautiful woman you are . I'm fairly new to all this dating stuff as well.i would dearly love to find out more on you and what you do...i would Like to know what your likes and dislikes are,and more importantly what you are wanting from your future partner, i want to get to know you better, too. believe it or not, it's not that easy to be a single dad in the dating scene. i really look forward to meeting you ...i am a single father that is very devoted to my kid, but there is room for another love in my life. i like to do things out, but i also like to be at home. cooking is one of Major thing i like ..like tonight, I'm making chili for us. i don't really like talking about myself too much, but, i always tend to spoil whoever I'm with. it hardly ever works out, but that doesn't stop who i am. i believe in the family unit. i always would rather talk out a problem than hold it in. you will find out that i am much more interested in how your day went. i want to know everything that happened. ...I am a self employed ( Computer engineer base On soft ware ) ... I've been a mom and dad for 2 years now. i guess i am a tad more caring than the average man because of having to be a little more emotional for my Daughter when she needs it. you sound like a very loving and caring person. i want you to know I'm not doing this dating business to get a cheap frill or a one night stand,I'm a very genuine person and i want to find someone i can share my life with,someone i can love,someone i can trust,someone i can be a friend for,and someone who will accept me for who i am,i can be very romantic,I'm honest, trusting,good listener,caring,healthy,funny at times,and i can sing for my supper if need be, So dear you have a perfect human being,no seriously I'm not perfect but i want to make someone very happy and i have so much love pent up inside me,it needs to be exposed gently to that special someone.i hope I've given you an inkling of my thoughts and needs.--i hope you will reply to this letter,i will send a photo of me soon .--so for now Dear, i bid you farewell.
We're you able to read all that? Did you catch the part where he says he wants to expose his love to that special someone? Buddy - here in the U.S. people go to jail for exposing their love.
now Dear(s) I bid you farewell.
4 comments:
We all know you're just there for the cheap frills anyway.
Here's a timeless tip for you, by the way: When you do find an actual person on there, DO NOT express an unusual interest in goats. Most normal men have no interest whatsoever in goats. Consequently, you should avoid phrases such as "I want to retire to a working goat farm," "I want to retire early and raise goats," "If I ever get any extra money I want to create a farm sanctuary for goats," "Someday I will have lots of goats," "Someday I'm going to have tons and tons of goats," "It's technically not illegal for me raise pygmy goats as long as I don't let them out of the condo" . . . well, you get the idea:
Ixnay on the oatsgay.
My advice: Run screaming!
mwr beat me to the "cheap frills" comment, but I will still point out that he stole the "show you the world in my eyes" line from Depeche Mode.
eeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!
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