Word Verification Feature

After a couple mild mentions of displeasure over the use of the word verification feature on the comments section of this blog, I have removed it.  I too find having to interpret non-words to validate that I am a human and not some robot posting ads for penis enlargement or moving companies very irritating.

I still use "Comment Moderation" which allows me to review and approve any incoming comment before it is posted.  I don't mind reviewing the massive influx of comments to my blog.  (The word massive is sarcasm.)

Today I rejected a comment from someone selling Louis Vuitton on their very reputable and 100% legitimate website.  Funny thing though they left their comment on a blog post from 2009.  I'm not sure how effective this brand of spam marketing is.  I only have nine subscribers to the blog and while I'm sure there are hundreds more who read this regularly who haven't subscribed I doubt that anyone but me ever takes the time to reread my witty and meaningful posts.

Because of the comment, I did go to see what the blog post was about.  Generally, these spam advertisers find some key word in the blog that relates to what they are selling.  For example, when I posted a video of the cutest child in the entire world moving our furniture through our kitchen and called it "Moving Day" I received comments from a moving company in Cincinnati.  The words matched, but the context did not.   This particular post was about my anxiety over the wedding guest list.  There were no references to upscale leather goods for trendy ladies who like European brands.

I read the post and then had a laugh over what I think is probably the best comment ever left on one of my blog posts.  Sure you could argue that Peter's Raccoon Friend is also not human and shouldn't be allowed to leave comments, but I think PRF is brilliant and witty.  I miss that little furry bastard and those wonderful comments.  My guess is that either PRF got married and is too busy in a happy union to invent dark and sarcastic replies to the blog, or I'm boring as shit now that all I ever talk about is that damned kid.  Either way, in honor of a wonderful moment in this blog I invite you to skim the blog and then enjoy Peter's Raccoon Friend in all of his finest.  Best Comment Ever

"Swim" time

A huge mess

Lucy and I were hanging out on the front porch "playing with bubbles."  She wouldn't let me hold the bubble gun and then fixated on the tub with the bubble solution.

Let the zany antics of a 16 month old ensue.

Kitchen

the tile

We are investing in our new(ish) house by giving the kitchen a snazzy upgrade.  Our builder grade tile 'granite' counter tops will be replaced with this pretty quartz and the 'perfectly fine' but off center and (frankly) boring back splash will be replaced with a custom designed tile treatment.

The counter tops will be dramatic, the colors are hard to see in this picture but the quartz has a dark overall appearance, with blue, cream and clear bits.  It has sparkle and we think it will be very dramatic.

To keep from turning our kitchen into a modern marvel and to blend with the existing cabinets, which are perfection and the wall color we have chosen a cream subway tile.  To zip up the back splash we will be doing a band around the perimeter of one tile of the elongated stainless tile, then three strips of that organic looking 'stone' and then topped with another band of the stainless.

the counter top material

  

The band will be topped with the subway tile and where there are edges that are transitions to drywall, such as where they don't meet an upper cabinet, the subway tile will have a bull-nose edge for a nice transition.

Our builder kitchen has pretty thick tile as the back splash and where it "ends" it is an ugly transition.  The bull-nose effect will make it look far more polished and high end.

We've seen a few other kitchens in the neighborhood and while our plan is to live in this house for the long haul we do think that the change will help at re-sale time.

The process of designing a new look is daunting, especially when there are two people to please, but with the help of the tile specialist it only took about an hour and a half to narrow down the selection that she pulled and then design the layout.

Of course we selected our counter top surface first.  We were originally looking at granite, as that is THE material that everyone expects, but we were drawn to the depth and sparkle of the quartz.  Honestly, when Jason first said quartz I was thinking of a terrible 70's looking material, but the stuff we looked at was very impressive.   Unlike granite we won't have to seal it and unlike marble we don't have to worry about stains.

I hope I love it as much when it is installed as I do with the sample.    The installation was supposed to start today, but a delay with one of the materials has pushed us back and due to vacations and business travel we aren't scheduled to start until August 20th.   Feel free to invite us over for dinner that week.  We'll be without a kitchen for 7 days.

There will be pictures of the before, during and after - once there is an after.  Stay tuned.

Other exciting baby stuff

Lucy is pacifier free!  We were worried that she would set her room on fire when the pacifier wasn't presented at bedtime, but alas she simply rolled over and went to sleep.

No fan fair, no tears, no drama.

All that worrying and planning on how to deal with it, for nothing.  Silly parents.




Here's her saying "banana"

Happy 4th of July

Lucy & her dad at the park

Holding the 4th of July on a Wednesday kind of sucks for those of us who are hoarding our vacation time.

We didn't have anything spectacular planned so our day was mostly about hanging out.  We celebrated by feasting on all the American meats we could work into mealtimes.  Fresh bacon with our eggs and hash browns started our day.  I bought 'sale' bacon and it was fine, but I'm not a fan of thin bacon.  I want to have to gnaw at it.  However, unless something really flips off the deep end, all bacon is worthy of cooking and eating.

While Lucy took her 2 1/2 hour nap (yeah!!!!) Jas and I dined on a fabulous lunch of all-beef angus hot dogs.  I don't know if the angus part makes them any better for you, but every once in a while a good dog is an enjoyable meal.  Unlike the $1.50 dogs at Costco the homemade dog does not 'repeat' on me.  Thank you for a burp free afternoon.

Much much later in our day after Lucy retired to her cozy room to sleep through the fireworks Jason and I pulled out the grill and had burgers. 

The weather turned out to be stunning so we spent time outside playing.  We explored a nearby park that has a toddler sized climbing structure and slides as well as the big kid structure.  Our girl could have lived her whole life without seeing the toddler structure, as the call of the 5 foot high drops and twisty slides were too much for her to resist.  Thankfully they make these things big enough for a mommy to climb as well.  We were on hyper-life safety alert, but giving her clearance to explore.  She has her own way of doing things and it is clear that she does NOT want help with everything.  Sometimes, when you get too close she pulls away with a full body jerk.   I know it's all part of her growing up and I don't mind because she reaches for help when she needs it and I'm happy to be the steady hand she expects.

Later in the afternoon we pulled out the sprinkler and Lucy happily ran in and out of the water until she was literally blue.  You know its a good day when you go from your swimsuit to your princess pajamas. 

We knew we were going to miss the fireworks and didn't really mind.  Lucy needs her beauty sleep.  However, we have a nearby neighbor who put on a show and It looked like the big fireworks to us.  I'm sure this guy spent well over $1000 on explosives, it was very impressive.  

We did get to watch a great show the night before at Emerald Downs.  My friend Lori hosts an event there for her clients.  She rents a private view room and sponsors a rather tasty buffet dinner.  We finagled an invitation to the event for Doug & Chelsey using the excuse that they are nice people, but it also turns out that Doug is now working with the spouse person of one of Lori's clients.  Small world.    Tuesday after work we carpooled to Auburn to hang out.  The event was nice, the boys enjoyed the horse racing.  I enjoyed their company and chatting it up with some of my former MegaBankers whom Lori and I know.

The Emerald Downs 3rd of July day is very well attended by non-party people too and the reason is they have a superb fireworks show.  Not only were we there, but Jason's cousin Teresa and two of her adult children and their special someones.  Heck it was a party.  Once the last race was over, and the buffet safely cleaned up we headed outside and met up with the family.    I love the fireworks in Long Beach but these were pretty great, and unlike shows where the fireworks have to be seen for miles away this show seemed to be kind of low and right over our heads.  They also did a remarkable job of using all of the center of the track.  Not only were there the fireworks in the air, but they periodically would create a wall of fireworks filling the space of the center arena.  The only negative was they had to play that damned Lee Greenwood song.   I know I'm supposed to well up with pride and shoot my guns in the air when I hear it: "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free."   Mostly, though it feels like propaganda.  I swell with national pride when I see families together, acts of kindness and stunning sarcasm that is executed flawlessly. Lee Greenwood kind of makes me want to stick daggers in my ears.

On that note, Happy Birthday America!

Pictures of Lucy

I've got your ear!

My new camper chair

HI!

Cousin J!

looking a bit rugged after a day at school

Water play!

Grace under fire

I imagine last week was super awkward on the set of the Today show.  Rumors were flying around the tv universe that Ann Curry was about to get the boot (and the rumors were true) but there she sat on the anchor couch with a smile on her face.  Her hands seemed to be clutching each other with a firm grip, but I can't say if it was a sign of HER stress or if it just resonated with me because it is MY way of centering myself when things feel askew.

Personally, I think Ann Curry is a great journalist.  She's not hard and biting but asks smart questions and seems like a warm person.  One of the talking heads on another network said they thought she was about to get the boot because she was 'too empathetic'.  Dang... too much empathy in the news industry, seems to me that there is a total void of empathy and her having some is a certifiable miracle.  

It is hard to see someone you admire go through such a public humiliation.  Clearly, NBC sees the value of Ann Curry as her (reported) request to be freed from her contract was not honored and she's still on staff with NBC.  Maybe they didn't want to get their clocks cleaned by a morning show with Katie and Ann on a different network.   It looked like dirty pool to leak to the media that Ann was on her way out and then ask her to sit there and smile for a week while they worked out the details.

This morning, when the Today show came on it felt wrong.  Because it is a holiday week the "B" team was on deck so the transition will be soft, but as much as I missed Katie Couric in that role, I'll miss Ann Curry more.  I hope to see her often and doing more "real" journalism and I hope she loves it.

It can't be fulfilling to interview the leader of Israel one day and then have to sit down across from Kim Kardashian and ask her to be relevant.  Don't get me started on KK - that chick has a baby voice that makes me want to jab her in the neck and I'm not a hostile person.  That girl is everywhere in the media and I don't see the value.  Heck, she doesn't even use her "celebrity" to promote a charity, or advocate for others...she's just there.   My guess is that all the divorce stuff will take longer to negotiate than the 72 days she was with her husband before announcing the divorce.  

So, back to Ann. She's a northwest girl and she's someone I would happily invite over for dinner.  Gosh, I'd even drag out the cloth napkins.

Hang in there Ann!  You are an awesome role model.

A plea to Alaska Airlines

You know the way to San Jose...
I go once a month, not everyday.

I fly at six am to arrive at 9
Oh for my bed I do pine.

While in Calufornia, I totally focus
Getting lots done is not hocus pokous.

When it is time to finally go home
Alaskaair.com for the best flight I roam.

The best option, the 3:00 pm is flight I am hunting.
I'm home with the family by dinner, best option running.

I search for flight AS327
Getting a seat, I'm in heaven

Oh no, booking flights for the fall
I can't find AS327 at all!

A flight at noon and one a six!?
What the heck, this is the pits

I hate to be so persistent
But is it so hard to be consistent?

These flights are full, of Golds you know.
How about for our business, some love you show?

Bring back the flight at 3,
With my family, happy I'll be.

I'm sorry if I sound like a jerk,
But it's tough when you travel for work.

I know I'm at your behest,
But please please honor my request.

On the road

Last time I was in San Jose I had to come home early due to a sick little girl. I was able to get on the 6:00 a.m. flight but in order to save the $100 change fee I had to call at midnight to change reservations. Aside from the pain of spending one less day in an actual office environment was that my security pass did not let me into the building at 4:30 am to deposit my "leave in California" bag of toiletries. I had to check my hairspray, human sized shampoo, hair products and makeup. I didn't want to check a bag on this trip so I am the proud new owner of a fancy bag (from Marshall's) and fresh toiletries. Turns out my toothpaste was one year past the expiration date.

The benefit of having to run around and stock up is that I've found the Safeway and other services that will come in handy. I found a place to get my toes done. This is a silly thing to be excited about, but I'm not going to do this "important" grooming activity on the weekends when I could be spending time with Jason and Lucy and squishing it into a lunch "hour" during the week is challenging. Now, when I'm here I can pamper myself, kill some time and not feel guilty.

I am happily sporting bright red toes in honor of Independence Day. Go Me!

Personal Leadership Journey

I'm starting on a rather exciting adventure, that in spite of the title has nothing to do with Amway.   My superior and excellent manager is supporting a year long leadership training activity.  It is a facilitated course with 12 modules that will focus on leadership, personal style, personal growth, strengths and all sorts of other touchy feely things.  The thing I'm excited about is that while there are about 30 people participating, there are only 6 people in my subgroup.  The program focuses on professionals in my career field and we're all girls, er... women.

I just wrapped up the first call and I'm pretty energized and hopeful that it will be worth my time and energy. I'd say financial commitment, but my superior and excellent manager (who does NOT read this blog) is paying for the experience so the money thing is all her.

The "team" is an experienced group of ladies, someone with 25 years under her belt at a major financial institution, a senior leader at a federal agency, a VP at a major industry research organization, little old me with 12 years of security/management experience and a fellow colleague whom I'm looking forward to building a long term relationship with. (I already know her, but under the cover of this program I can see us being a superteam of security girl power.)

I also think that the girl security conference in Arizona will be a tad bit MORE social than in years passed.  Funny thing about social butterfly me, is that in a big group like that I tend to hide out and not break into groups.  I see a group of people chatting and I assume they all know each other and are life long friends and I'd be intruding.  Silly TPgal.

Anyway, I'm excited and hope to be able to answer the "where are you going in your leadership journey" by the time we're done.  Heck, maybe I'll even get a t-shirt.

Wow!

Gosh, a random post from me about girl relationships spawned a plethora of personal messages that really helped.

Here's a sample of the kind thoughts that were sent my way:

I want you to know that I value you as a friend and as a mentor. Yep, you are younger than I am, but I think of you as a mentor and am so grateful for that fateful day that xx quit his job.

Do you have ANY idea how much you've changed my life? I would not be where I am today without TP gal. You would play a big part in my "it's a wonderful life" movie.

I don't just value you for what you've done for me. I also love hanging out with you and wish I was easier to get out of my comfort zone (my home) to socialize. You are one of the most fun girlfriends that I have and I have nothing but happy memories of any time we've spent together.

So, know that I love you and treasure you and I *know* that I'm not the only one.


And:

 I read your last blog and this is what I know for sure. No matter how long you have known someone, or how well you think you know someone, there are always things you will never know about them. And because of this fact you can never predict how they will react to anything said or did. Sometimes you can get back to the place you were in and some time you can't . It is because of them and you can't change that. I have lost a few friends in my life and pinned for the loss  a long time. It's how you take your losses that make you strong.


And:

Family is static.  We can’t change family very much unless there is a divorce, and  if you’re a (name of nice people), then you remain friends. Moms remain Moms and sisters remain sisters, etc.  However, as we age friends become like the tide.  When the tide rolls in, it deposits friends on our beach.  When the water recedes, it takes a few out with it.  You’ll find that as you age and your interests begin to differ greatly from your friends that this phenomenon happens more often.  It isn’t a bad thing and one should never, never feel guilty about that.  This friend could have been content when you were single and leaning on her.  But, when you married and had lovely Lucy, you leaned less and the dynamics changed.  Sounds like she is much more inflexible than you are.  (Go figure...Leo’s are never flexible.)

 

This friend is here to shore you up and say making friends and putting some into neutral is just how it is.  Don’t stress!!

Zoinks Shaggy, I didn't expect incoming comments and wouldn't have guessed that my little problem is actually just part of life.  I am humbled by the responses and truly grateful for everyone I have met and loved along the way in my charmed life.  

The sermon at church Sunday was about a piece of scripture where someone (someone old, maybe Jesus?) was talking about the insignificance of the mustard seed but that once planted it becomes a strong bush that supports the weight of birds.  Translation to our modern day world, you never know what small thing you might say or do that has an impact on others, or that might change the direction of your life.

Hopefully the awareness of that truth will help me to error on the side of kindness, but I have found that those mustard seed moments happen when I'm not paying attention.  Heck, I agreed to go out with a nerdy guy whom I KNEW I wouldn't really like because I wanted to go on a real date and good gravy look what happened:

a rejected holiday card option

That was one good date, I mean we're dressed alike for pete sake.  Don't worry, that seldom happens on non-picture day.  We will "coordinate" for a party, but the full on family in RED doesn't occur naturally in the wild.  

Yes, I am poking Lucy in the ear, but we were trying to make her smile.  We have at least 70 pictures that look similar with the baby making all sorts of indifferent facial expressions.  When I look at them in order, Jason and I look like crazy people with our eyes wide and our mouths open in gleeful smiles.  Next year we will solicit assistance with our photo.  The in-laws will be visiting in October, we may set up a tree and fake a "year end" shot at that time.  

Anyway, thank you for reading me from time to time and also for your support.  It is very appreciated.

Natural ingredients are the best

Get the point

Girl Relationships; I stink at it.

I'm still blogging in my head, I just haven't put fingers to keyboard in a while.  "Pen to paper" has better alliteration, but it just isn't the way the world works anymore.

There are many things swirling around in my world that I may have freely blogged about in the past, but I hold back these days.  For one, I don't want to hurt the ones I love, and the other is that maybe my reality on  day X isn't exactly clear. The mental illness that takes over my brain before "mavis" comes to visit seem petty after she moves out.   My beefs are still valid, there are moments when the activities of keeping our home cleaned up are lopsided but when I'm in my right mind I can see that those moments are not the norm and the significance is minute.  Mental illness is a strong term, but my perspective is certainly skewed.

Also, I've learned the hard way that no matter how hard I try to talk about an issue with a friend or family member in the abstract that they ALWAYS figure out I'm talking about them and the question is asked "why didn't you tell me that to my face?"  This is a fair question and I'm not sure the answer of "I feel better when I write about it" is acceptable.

I will share that I am in sort of a mourning period over a long-term relationship that has made a drastic shift from frequent, intentional interaction to a see each other every now and again.  I have many many people who are dear to me that I see infrequently and when we get together I'm genuinely thrilled to catch up with them and then we go back to our regularly scheduled lives without issue.   This particular situation has been (here I go being dangerously honest) painful and I've been doing lots of thinking about my 'friendship' value.   There are frequent moments when I miss my friend, but my pride and stubbornness holds me back from reaching out.   I'm not in the arms crossed, foot stomping pouting place, but since she was the one to withdraw I can not beg her to be active in my life.  I've been trying to accept and move my 'hurt' aside and be thankful for the years of friendship that we shared.  However, there are times when that childish "nothing is my fault" ugly side steps out into the forefront of my inner thoughts and I wonder why we spent so much time together if I'm clearly so hard to be around.   That kind of negative thinking is not helpful and it is squashed as soon as possible.  Clearly, it doesn't go completely away because as I write I'm getting sad, and truth be told we haven't reached that point of "every now and then" seeing each other, maybe we never will.

Jason has been helpful and makes every effort to hear me out when this backs up on me.  I talked it over with one of the long-distance girlfriends and she had lots of support to offer but it has been months and I'm sure this is a permanent situation.  Self help gurus (or me, if I was asked) would say "reach out, mend fences" but since her last direct words on the topic were "you said your piece, I said mine, let it lay."  I'm doing just that, and right now it's laying like dead roadkill.  I don't mean that to be flip, I miss her but I have enough pride to accept that just because I feel warmly about someone that those feelings don't have to be reciprocated.

I just wonder, do all adult (female) relationships shift, or do I simply use people up and they grow weary of me?  Will everyone whom I love tell me out of the blue that I'm making them crazy and then stop communicating?

ANYWHO... see, posts like that will get me into trouble.  If I don't have the guts to call her up and initiate conversation is it fair to discuss it openly?  Probably not, but I also think Jason doesn't need to hear this same thing over and over again.

The take away, besides the fact that at 43 I'm still insecure about my value to others, is that we need to nurture our friendships and be thankful for those whom we can't live without.  Jason and I have talked at length about my conflict resolution skills and roadblocks.  I need him to know where he has to pull me out of the quicksand if we ever get into trouble.  I'm will fight to work on issues but hurt me twice, and I'll retreat.   My stubbornness will work against me at that point and as painful as this friend thing has been, a rift in the Jason/TP world would be the end of me.  Thankfully, our issues are (thus far) limited to a kitchen cleaning inequity and when I sneak out to TacoTime for lunch I am a horrendous gassy mess to live with.   It's sad because TacoTime tastes yummy to me.

See what I did there, I talked about a deeply personal topic and then ended on farts.  I AM A GREAT WRITER.

Some silly baby videos

The Swinger


Lately, Lucy has been very busy in the morning.  Jas & I are not ready to get out of bed yet, but she's got stuff to do.  This morning she was all about the trash bin on my side of the bed.



Here's an oldie - from 5 months old.  Seriously, she's just laying there doing nothing, but she's so small...


Jump back to this week.  She's playing with the Lego toys.


Last night she had a temper tantrum because I took the pacifier away.  There is a video of her in the bathtub screaming and wailing.  It isn't cute and therefore it isn't posted.  There's also a rather vivid shot of her "brittney spears" and it seems wrong to broadcast that across the internet so early.

However, I've saved the best one for last.  This last video makes me laugh out loud.

My big project

Original Jazz Hands

I've gathered all the family photos that my parents had in their possession and combined them with the photos I found in Messy Martha's house and have committed to a rather large project.  I will be scanning the photos into digital format and then will make an attempt to put them into some kind of order and publish them in a photo book.

The process is cumbersome as the pictures are not in order, nor are they all labeled and thus the dates are iffy.  The other challenge, other than the questionable focus and clarity of the aged photos is that many are in "adhesive free" books and can not be removed without tearing the backing off the photos.  These dastardly photo books had lines of sticky material (made by dupont I'm sure) to keep the pictures in place behind the cellophane covers.  This was supposed to be better for the photos than tape or the hassle of photo corners.  

I hope I'm not doing them further harm by scanning them and taking them from the physical world into the digital world.  I'm sure some of the charm of a photo from 1913 is lost when converted into a jpeg.

Art the Aviator

I do get a kick from these pictures, this one of my dad looks like it was taken in the 40's, and I'm guessing the war was going on at that point.  It's cute that he was always interested in flying. (Also, note the curly hair popping out from under that cap - Lucy gets it from somewhere.)

I also like his coy look.  It's as if he knows something and doesn't really intend to tell anyone.

Grandpa Milton

Grandpa Milton (Mom's dad) was rocking the flattop hairdo and this picture is in the 50's (maybe).  Goodness knows who was cropped out of that photo.

As for the superb picture of little me, I would venture a guess that those dish gloves are alive and in tact in some landfill somewhere.  I'm sure they recall happier days when a small child took delight in wearing them around the house.

I've had many of the photos for a number of years and got the final box this last weekend.  It took a barn fire to unearth the motherload and get me to actually start.  I worked on it for an hour this morning and copied 47 pictures.  At this rate I may be done in about 15 years.  However, I will try to do about 2 hours a week and hopefully I'll have something done for the holidays, but don't hold your breath...

Dinner time

Things that will preserve my marriage

We are watching DIY channel and I a very thankful that we have no illusions that we possess more skills than we actually have. Most DIY in our house will be limited to painting and minor repair, everything else will be managed by checkbook

What's going on with you?

I had a lengthy conversation with a dear friend last night with whom I don't get to talk to as often as I'd like.  I have campaigned pretty hard to get her to move her family into our neighborhood so we can have dinner together on any night that the dinner pot is overly full.  My efforts continue to fail and I have to take comfort in the instantaneous connection we have when we to make time for girl talk.

She had a grown-up issue to discuss, which I'm happy to a) keep to myself and b) be a sounding board.    I forget myself and offer my opinion (apparently) a lot more than people want and it is nice to be asked as it good to know I'm not the "you know what you should do.." lady.  (in your head that should have sounded nasally.)

Anyway, she asked me "what's going on with you?" and my initial reaction was to say 'nothing'.  After all, we had finished dinner, the baby was in bed and we were watching America Thinks It Can Dance or some crazy thing like that.  Jason is very entertained by those shows and I do love to hear his belly laugh, but I think some of the contestants are truly mentally 'off' and feel like it's wrong to laugh openly at them.  I much prefer to laugh behind their back...wait, that's not what I meant to say.

Actually, there are a lot of things brewing in TP land.

We re-jiggered our world in order to pay off our house in fifteen years.  There are many things about this that are pleasing, the primary one is that we'll have the house free and clear before we're 60 and before the Peanut heads to college.  The impact to our disposable income rather sucks, but it will only really bite until Lucy gets into real school.  Well, unless we go the private school route.  I kind of hope we don't but, I don't know enough yet to make a blanket statement like "oh it won't happen."

The other big news on the house front is that we are going to deal with our kitchen counters.  Our builder installed nice-ish granite-ish, tiles in the kitchen.  From a distance they are very pretty but the grout situation is bad. We've only been here about 3 years and the grout at the sink already needs to be dug out and replaced.  Because we don't love the color or style we're going to invest in a re-do.  We've saved up some money and have obtained three bids and have made a decision.  We meet with the back splash tile lady this Friday and we should have some kind of a timeline soon.

The bid process was all over the board.  One guy came out, measured told us all the things he COULD do and then emailed his bid to us seven days later.   The other guy, from the neighborhood place that specializes in kitchen re-models, came out, measured and then finally CALLED me with some figures 10 days later, after I called twice to get the bid.  The third person came out, measured, drew up a version of our kitchen and then emailed us the bid before he was in his car.

Thankfully, not only was the fast bid guy the lowest, but the bid included details such as a line item to repair the drywall if the removal of the builder installed tiles damages the wall.  If they don't have to do it, the price goes down.  NICE.  We stopped off at their showroom and picked some samples and now we're on our way.  It is supposed to be a simple job that they say they can do in 3-4 business days.  Ideally, we'll start work on a Monday so we can avoid being without a kitchen on a weekend.  I can do 3-4 days of microwave cooking for Lucy (dinners only) but a whole weekend would seriously suck.  We'll see how long it really takes.

In other news, I've arranged for a babysitter to come TWICE in June so Jason and I can go out and mingle with the other adults without the Peanut.  She is fun, but it's just not the same as a regular date night.

Other than that, I'm feeling a little off kilter.  I'm being especially over sensitive this week to silly things that don't normally bother me.  I'm taking innocent jokes very personally and obsessing about small nuances of conversations.  My brain tells me that this is very likely related to that certain time of the month, but the emotional little crybaby doesn't like that rationalization.  However, when I look at the calendar, the timing is right.  Sigh... stupid hormones.  They shouldn't make you mentally ill.

We're off to celebrate dad's birthday this weekend.  By celebrate we mean, driving over, providing free computer support and grilling meat.  Well, we found out yesterday that the new bbq is still in a box.  Jason loves a puzzle and will happily put it together, but his 'honey do' list is pretty long this weekend and I can't really help because of that whole - keep the baby alive thing.   Thankfully, the weather is supposed to be lovely (over there) and we're bringing the sprinkler to keep our girl (and her mom) busy.

I feel dizzaaay

whew, what a week

It never seems to fail that when I leave to go to San Jose for work and Jason is home with Lucy she decides to come up with some ailment that is more than a runny nose.  Friday, Jason took Lucy in to the pediatrician and she was  was diagnosed with an ear and eye infection.  We got the go ahead to share Lucy with others as long as she didn't have a fever.  Saturday and Sunday, she was fever free.

However, Monday, the day I left for California, it was back ON in the fever world.  She went to school but they promptly called Jason and told him to come and get her, they stayed home together Tuesday as well.  She was hovering around 101 and didn't want too much food.

A sick Lucy is a snuggly Lucy, so she and dad spent time together on the couch watching "Harry the Bunny".  I managed to work out an earlier flight home so I could relieve Jason.  I arrived home  around 11am and Lucy seemed good, she and I had a quick outing to Target, but when we got home she was tired and lethargic.  I checked her temperature of a fever of 104.  I know that 105 is the scary temp (aka emergency room) so I called Dr. Robin.  By the time we were in the office her temp had risen to 105 and they gave us some ice and juice to cool her down.  Lucy wanted nothing to do with the ice and would only take sips of the juice.

She was given Tylenol which she promptly threw up on my shoulder.  Her reward for that event was a version that is given up the bum.  Thankfully it worked like a charm and she slept well, and her fever dropped to the 99-100 region by morning.  She was a sweaty betty though, and still low on energy.  We spent a day at home Thursday and did everything to Lucy entertained and fed.  Crackers were the food of choice and I'm not too thrilled about a diet of simple grains but it's hard to make a 1 year old eat what she doesn't want to eat.

We took numerous 'walks' in the neighborhood.  Walks meaning, Lucy in the stroller with a blanket.  She loved it and each one used up about 30 minutes of time.  It was clear that Lucy had almost no interest in her own toys and was bored, so going for walks was a nice relief from following her around the house.

Lucy slept quite a bit and I was able to keep up with work - somewhat.  I feel quite safe in saying that I am not made to be a stay at home mommy.  When I'm home and not working I want to get a LOT more stuff done than what the reality of managing the entertainment and life safety of a 1 year old allows.

Thankfully, by Saturday Lucy was fever free and was happily eating real food.  This has lasted and she went back to 'school' today.  My only worry for her today is that her nap schedule shifted over the course of the last week back to the 'nap when you're being a turd' vs. the big afternoon nap.  She was doing the big afternoon nap too, but even yesterday she took a refresher at 8:00.  I feel strongly that letting the peanut nap when she wants to while sick is more important than keeping the school schedule.  Today will be a rough one for Miss Anjelica and team, especially since Lucy decided she was done sleeping at 4:30 am.  We endured the tough love and let her cry it out.  It was an hour of hell while Lucy screamed and wailed.  She did go back to sleep around 5:15 and we let her snooze to 6:30.  It is awful to let her cry it out, but the books say that within a week we should be back to a more acceptable sleep schedule.  4:30 am - NOT OK.

Jason and I decided late Saturday afternoon that since it was a three day weekend and we didn't have anything scheduled that we take a day trip to visit my parents.  After a quick call to check in we found out that my mom was off at some epic garage sale in Packwood, but dad was happy to have us come.

Lucy did well on the drive over (and back) and seemed to enjoy her afternoon with grandpa and the dog.  She loves the swing that my mom put up in the back yard.  We even got grandpa P to come out to lunch with us.

After an epic day Sunday, we spend Monday doing errands and playing at home.

It was nice to drop Lucy off at school this morning and she jumped right back in to the swing of it.  All the little people waved hello and she zipped right over to the breakfast table for her toast and cheerios.  It made me happy to see her in a joyful mood when I left.  When she wasn't feeling well she was clingy and whiny.

I expect she'll be pooped this evening, and don't anticipate much (or any) quality play time.

I feel better!

Our girls

The joys of mommyhood

For the most part, this parenting thing is very rewarding. It ticks all the boxes for "you get way more than you give". When Lucy sees me for the first time in a while, be it first thing in the morning, coming home from day care, or when I come downstairs after a moment in the loo, she lights up and either reaches for me or now that she can, runs to me. The "I'm the greatest thing in the whole world" meter ticks pretty high at those times. Sure, it's a bit narcissistic, I'm aware that a dog who is beat frequently will continue to love and adore his master, but this isn't the same kind of relationship. I seldom make Lucy sleep outside or beat her with a stick. She gets all the fresh water she wants and a 1/2 cup of crunchy food in the morning. She's a happy girl.

I wont fall!

Actually, there are numerous things she does that are adorable and bring me joy. Small things such as when she's done with her milk it is important that she (and only she) put the lid to the bottle back on. She does NOT want help. She has embraced the art of 'kissing' and while she blows kisses to all the teachers and classmates at school, she saves the special kisses for Mommy and Daddy. These kisses are mouth kisses, but she leans in with her mouth open and makes contact while saying "aahhhh". We are working on teaching her to kiss with her mouth closed, but every now and then it is my treat to take a milky, open mouthed kiss from my little peanut. She dances, but doesn't shake her booty just yet. Thus far, when the music moves her it is a head shaking and arm twisting joy. I think the booty moving will come when she's more solid on her feet. Speaking of... as she's zipping around the house on her two feet there are times when her center of gravity gets out of alignment and she will make every wild move to avoid falling over. Every now and then we catch her in a I'm-not-falling-off-this-balance-beam arm flail that makes us giggle.

Her love affair with the stairs is waning, but that just means we have to be on high alert. Our original idea of keeping she play world limited to the kitchen/family room area was not an achievable (dare I say a delusional) idea, Lucy is everywhere in the downstairs and we spend our weekends and evenings in a constant two person parade around the house. We take turns with her while the other parent does fun things like make food, clean up food, and other life chores. Laundry happens during the week while Jason & Lucy are away. That perk is reason enough for me not to change jobs. I can see how people who work outside the home and have one or more little people have piles of laundry in various stages of completeness.
Lucy's other 'cute' trick these days is a fascination with any gadget with buttons. The little cd/radio player in her room is an amazing toy. This little 7 inch square cube has no less than 20 buttons that she can click, click, click. This morning she somehow set a snooze alarm that nearly caused my heart to stop when it finally went off. The alarm was so loud that it sounded like the walls were shaking. I know someday she will set the thing to go off at three in the morning and we'll go crazy trying to figure out what it is. As buttoned items go, the tv remote use to be the #1 coveted toy, but the iPhone is now the top 'want!'. This brings me to the ugly truth about parenting.

Kids are jerks.


I didn't make that up, Christopher Walken said it in his interpretation of the classic story "Where the Wild Things Are." He also said 'kids like George Wendt', but that didn't resonate with me as much as the declaration that 'kids are jerks.'

Lucy expresses her jerkiness in lots of special ways. Her inability to cope when things don't go her way is a small sign of this fact. I will do something horrible such as not give her the phone, not let her walk in the middle of the street or change her diaper after she's made a 'boom boom' (that's grandpa's term) and she will hop up and down, cry, with actual tears and hit a pitch with her voice that moves the water in my inner ear to the point that I'll have to lay down to get my balance back. Other tricks include slapping, and the oh so cute body flop and kick. I've read that all kids go through this and we are working on "identifying our feelings" so that when she CAN talk she can calmly say "damn it mama, I want the remote or I'm going to feel angry." We are very much working on making it clear that slapping and grabbing are not ok, but unlike a four year old these are lessons (for Jas & I) in being consistent, firm and calm.

She's not a possessed child (all the time.) We have figured out that most often when she's acting up something else is wrong, and it usually can be remedied with sleep. However, those moments of wickedness on her part wear on a person. I can see where parents with out other coping skills (aka GIN) can forget themselves and respond to the toddler temper tantrum in like fashion. I'm aware that these frustrations will lighten up and then be replaced by some other trauma like having to eat peas when pizza is wanted. The naming of feelings feels a little bit like parental mumbo jumbo, but when she's able to express the difference between mad, scared and hurt it will make calming down a bit easier.

The things that Lucy wigs out about seem to change daily, but then so does her world. This morning she was pissed that I wouldn't give her my coffee cup, but then she also explored the upstairs bedroom, closet, bathroom loop on her own for the first time. (This reminds me honey, we MUST put the cupboard door safety locks on the cabinet in the laundry room this weekend. She doesn't know those cabinets are there yet, but she'll find them and all the cleaning stuff is in there.) We were able to do our morning routine with her doing laps. Well, my modified morning routine anyway. I use to shower in the morning and do my hair - now, i shower at night and if I'm lucky I get to wet my head down to do my hair, but more often than not...ponytail. I can see why after having three hundred children Kate Gosselin opted to chop of the ponytail to save herself some time in the morning.

Sure it looks stupid, but it's not a mommytail!

Back to our story,  every day is something new and the 'good crap, she's a jerk' moments are fewer than the 'oh, I have the sweetest baby in the whole world' moments.  Both are probably a slight exaggeration.  Also, I've met some of your children and they are also sweet angels who are above acting up because you don't happen to have seedless jam on hand, so don't go all crazy on me any say that I'm disparaging YOUR child.  I'm only speaking a truth that few parents will admit.  It is a GOOD thing we love these little beasts because there are times when a kennel could come in handy.

Sprinkler Time

More

playland

Playing @ Kids Corner

Walking and Talking

Lucy was so proud of herself Sunday when she was taking independent steps all over our living room. She's tentative on the hardwood floors and that is FINE BY ME. Let's let her fall on the soft carpet before we go into head bonking territory.

Our living room is void of most of the things that make walking a challenge, like toys and furniture. We had our carpets cleaned Monday, so Sunday afternoon the family room was perfect for a new walker who needs lots of space.

The amazing thing is that not only was she getting up on her own to walk, but she felt the need to carry her water with her too. I would think that mastering the art of walking would be easier if your weren't carrying something, but this is yet another lesson in the fact that Lucy is her own person.

This little video only shows a few steps (and only for the last few seconds of the movie) but it's a fun one.

Super cool right!

We have already noticed that she is very aware of all the spaces in the house. She loves to go upstairs - mostly it is fun to get up the stairs and close the gate at the top. Once we're up there it is kind of lame in that there are fewer toys. She loves to "carry" things for me. This is usually an envelope or a sock, but getting up the stairs and ensuring that the important item gets there too is a lot of fun. More often than not she has to stop at the landing halfway up the stairs and take a little rest, but then she motors on her way.

On the tooth front, she's up to nine now. One of the bottom molars is IN. We haven't seen the counterpart on the left side of her mouth, but her cranky attitude tells me it is coming. My usually sunny girl has taken a turn towards the pissy from time to time. Her lack of words must be frustrating, and I bet she'll be happier when she can tell us what she thinks she MUST HAVE. That list often includes things that she may not have like the remote, knives, fire, blow torches and acid. Lucy will simply have to learn from these disappointments. Although, this morning she did get one of the magical items, no not the blow torch, the remote. The joke was on her because the first button she touched made the magic box turn off. We are violating the recommended advice and letting her watch the Baby channel in the morning as we get dressed. She's learning terrible things like the american sign language sign for "socks" and "play".

At school, Lucy has fully transitioned into the Toddler Room and even received a diploma for graduating from the Infant Room. She seems happy with the older kids and the issue of naps has been (forgive the pun) put to rest. When they entire class lays down and is quiet she does the same thing. They play harder in the Toddler room and have direct access to the outside and Lucy is in heaven. She is keeping up with the master walkers and it is my guess that words will becoming very soon. I expect to hear "mine" and "no!" in short order. However, I am told that Lucy does a very nice job of sharing. She's also empathetic to others. One of her last acts in the Infant Room was to come to the aid of one of the babies who had lost her pacifier and was crying. Lucy zipped over there, picked it up and put it in the babies mouth. WOW.

Speaking of pacifiers, we have made our downstairs a pacifier free zone and are limiting use to naps and bed time. This isn't to say we're perfect - she sat with us in church Sunday and we did use it as a silencer during the sermon. Soon we'll simply leave her in the nursery and enjoy an hour of Jason and Terri time. She loves the music so much that it is fun to see her get her "axle rose" on when the band plays, but keeping her happy makes it hard to focus on the talking, and we are there to hear the talking.

First steps!!!

fictionary (borrowed)

Borrowed from one of Jason's co-workers.

Ginja:  The red headed ninja



clearly, not a new concept to anyone but me.  Thank you http://gorillagraphics-gavin.blogspot.com for letting me borrow the awesome image.  (I have maybe 6 readers so I doubt I'm boosting the awareness of your cool graphics too much.)

Lucy, the furniture mover

She's starting to get a real handle on the walking thing, but likes the assistance of a steady hand or if we're being mean furniture will do.  Moving around the coffee table isn't enough anymore, so she'll use smaller more mobile furniture to get her where she wants to go.

Fictionary

Va-dazzle: the sparkly diamonds attached to your lady bits.

The Tooth Fairy

  

 We are still at the baby teeth arrival stage, but one of the things I'm looking forward to is the return of the Tooth Fairy.

The back story on poor Haylee's situation is that her parents forgot about the tooth and when they finally remembered the mom found this note under her pillow.  I have to say that I love it.  Sure, a four day delay on payment for a dead tooth is a tiny problem to have, but when you're between the ages of 5 and 8 (ages provided by the Mayo Clinic via Google) the delay feels significant.

I remember being amazed at how I couldn't catch the Tooth Fairy no matter how hard I tried and one time, my tooth was in a glass on the window ledge in our kitchen and she made the switch in BROAD DAYLIGHT.  One minute the tooth was there, I stepped into the other room for a minute, returned and BAM the tooth was gone!  In it's place was a 50 cent piece.   My little mind was totally blown.    This was about the time that I made a not so wise investment in the Washington Public Power Supply System, like my investment in Washington Mutual Bank it was a sad lesson in financial mismanagement.  I may be pretty, but it seems I'm a bit naive.

Back to our point, as Lucy morphs from the sweet baby blob to a fully functioning toddler it is easier to see her as the little girl who will zip up and down the stairs, take 'swims' in our big bathtub and who will write letters to Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.

For the record, the incoming tooth count to date is eight.  Lucy has her top and bottom central incisors (front teeth), her top lateral incisor (those two cute teeth that sit next to the top teeth) and the top first molars.  Per the chart from the handsome dentist Dr. Otto (whoops, did I say 'handsome', I meant to say 'capable') Lucy's teeth are popping in right on time and more importantly, in the right order.  See, she IS a genius.

I have been assured that Miss Haylee's situation has been resolved and that her payment demands have been met.  Let's hope that the Tooth Fairy assigned to Lucy's case is more diligent about timely payments.

A dance from the luau

Oh yes, that is Jason picking up the all important leaf of peace.

Maui Recap

We arrived on a windy day, but the temperature was pleasant and in spite of the Red flags on the shore alerting us to high surf we quickly hopped into the ocean for an inaugural dip.   We weren't in much danger with our water activities, which mostly included hoping waves and some light swimming.  Had we been attempting to snorkle around the reef that was a few yards into the bay, then it would have been an issue.  Later in the week when we ventured out we realized that the coral at some points is only about 1 -2 feet under water and swimming over it in rough waters would be extremely dangerous.

We stopped at Costco after picking up our rental car and purchased supplies for the week.  By supplies you know I mean wine and the required jug of Trader Vic's Mai Tai.  Sadly, we ended up having to return some of the wine as we were not as 'winey' as we thought we would be.

Our days mostly started out with breakfast, either at the Gazebo restaurant next door or at home with leftovers from the Gazebo restaurant next door.  This was a popular place that opened at 7:30 am, and the line started to form at 7:00.  We foolishly arrived at 7:20 and were in the second round of seating.  The wait, however, was worth it!  Macadamia nut pancakes with a coconut whipped cream topping.   (DROOL)  We also ordered their house breakfast fried rice.  HOLY GUACAMOLE, this is a tasty treat.  Along with fresh onions and peppers this rice is chock full of bacon, ham and sausage.  It was a mouth watering savory companion to the fluffy but sweet pancakes.   The serving was huge and thus there was enough for us to have it for breakfast the following day and if we had been super frugal the day after that.

The blow hole

We did a few road trips, the first was to the Maui Blow Hole.  The  rental car road map stated that there were parts of the island that we weren't allowed to drive, but they didn't give actual mile markers.  I'm a nervous nelly and assumed we were in the "red zone" the minute the road switched from a four lane to a narrow 2 lane.  The drive to the blow hole was easy and my anxiety was for nothing.  This isn't a park or a sight that is marked with signs. We drove until we saw where all the cars were pulled over and decided to get out an see.  Sure enough, over the bluff there it was.    When the lava cooled, I'm guessing a few weeks ago, a tunnel was formed and when the surf crashes in a rather impressive spout of water shoots out.

We decided to hike down the "trail" to get a better view.  It is not a state park with any kind of maintained walkway, but we saw moms with kids and older folks making their way back up, so we thought we could do it.  If you are not sure footed, or can't chew gum and walk at the same time, this is not a hike for you.  The human brain is working overtime with each step, focusing on balance, the next step, which rock looks the most secure and how not to fall on your ass takes some effort.   

Our beach, Napili Bay

Hand painted signs inform you that you should not venture to the wet rocks and NOT down to the flat surface where the blow hole is.  Recently, some Darwin Award Winner went in for a better photo op and got sucked in.  The news stories didn't say if his body was recovered, but I would hope for his family that what goes in, goes out.

Anywho... we didn't go that far.  We hiked down to about two thirds of the way to where we could get good photos and then stopped.  Our big camera earned her place in our home with some great shots.

Another day, we decided to drive some of the way to Hana.  That is a fun drive, but not one for a passive driver.  It took us about 3 hours to go 30 miles.  Its faster on the way back because we didn't have to stop and take pictures along the way back.  The road is VERY twisty and narrow.  There are lots of one lane bridges and for the most part people were considerate.  A couple times we had to get the hell out of the way of a tour bus and a VERY large delivery truck.    We also had to dodge an asshole whose hug the wall skills sucked.  No matter, it was a beautiful drive and we stopped at a lovely place and had our boxed lunch that we picked up in Paia.    We didn't make it all the way to Hana, but we weren't trying to get there.  The guidebook says the trip IS the destination, and we wanted to get back in time for a good dinner.  Since it was our vacation and we were in agreement it was a perfect outing.

windy, but happy

I booked us into the Four Winds II, a catamaran day-trip to the tiny island of Molokini.  This little horseshoe is a sanctuary and walking on or even touching the island is prohibited.  The boats come and moor on the inside of the crater and the happy (mostly pasty white) tourists tumble into the sea to snorkel.  The trip was worth the cost, but not for the snorkeling.  We enjoyed meeting the very friendly crew, other vacationers and the open sea.  We saw some whales (but not at close range) and the sea life at the crater was nice, but we had more colorful fish at our little bay by the condo.   Also, we saw a LARGE turtle at our bay as well - that was amazing and very exciting.

The boat trip day was a lot of fun, but because we started so early, launched at 7:00 am, the cool icy wine that started to flow at 10am didn't seem so wrong.  Turns out... Terri drank all day and half way though the movie we rented for the evening (and the entire bottle of red wine that "we" opened and "I" drank) I went to bed to watch something else and Jason said when he came to bed he watched about an hour of tv and I didn't move at all.  He said he did a breath check to see if I was alive, but clearly my day was OVER.   The next morning, Terri not feel so good.  (sad face)  I think I had a mai tai with dinner that night, but it was a water day.  Whoops.

Our other beach excursion day was to a bay we saw on our way to the blow hole.  This cove had actual stairs down to the ocean and a nice flat beach.  The beach at the condo was great for swimming and snorkeling, but had a wicked pitch that made hanging out ocean side a bit iffy.  This little beach was protected from the wind and nicely flat.  In fact, unlike our beach that dropped off to about 6-10 feet deep at about four feet from shore, this beach was shallow for yards and yards off shore.  The surf was great for body surfing and we think it would be a nice place for kids to play.  (We're already talking about when to come back with a larger crew, including the Peanut.)

At the luau

Our night time activities included dinners out at multiple beach side places and an evening at a luau.  I think the luau is a required activity and the one we (I) chose was a winner.  Somehow we were seated in the front row which gave us an unencumbered view of the pretty dancers.  The different thing about this luau vs. the other shows is that they had four shows, each from a different pacific island region, Hawaii, New Zealand, Samoa and Tahiti.  Each dinner course was from the featured region and the dances were native to that area as well. 

We did cook "in" one night and our rib eye and tater tot meal was superb.  We had to gift our second rib eye to the leathery couple downstairs on our last night, but we always had the option to eat it. 

Lucy was never far from our minds and about mid-day Thursday I was aching to go home.  Friday was rough because my desire to be home was in over drive and my vacation is ending sadness was happening at the same time.  We kept ourselves busy and made sure to savor our last day.

I give us an A+ for packing in lots of fun activities, but not over doing it.    We tried the Shave Ice (a glorified snow cone) and loved the one at the shop where she made her own syrups. 

We get a B- for escaping the tourist shopping enclaves.  We are returning home with t-shirts and a loud hawaiian shirt for Jason, a semi-loud hawaiian dress for me and a pink and yellow floral beachy dress for Lucy.  I picked up a snorkel set (fins, mask and breathing tube) from Costco - which was a great buy.  Jason opted to upgrade his breathing tube that was purchased in the 1990's and his price point was the same as my entire kit.  His goggles are made with his prescription, so that the love of my life who is blind as a bat can see the fishies, therefore he only needed an upgraded snorkel tube. 

I give us a C- for staying up late, the three hour time difference is rough.  I was thankful for the days we 'slept in' until 6:00 am.  We got some wonderful uninterrupted sleep and the time zone is NOTHING to complain about.

We get an A+ for sun management.  We are a pretty brown, without any burns or scally skin.  My self tanner with sun screen helps that a lot, but we both started out WHITE and are returning home with a healthy start on the summer glow. 

Vacationing without Lucy was good and bad.  Every time I saw a family with a "Lucy"  I felt pangs in my heart, but I know that for the 20% of the time that she would have been happy 80% of the other time she, or we would have been miserable.   Grandma and Grandpa did a great job and other than some strange 4:30 am wake ups she was fine. 

We get in tonight at 8:00 pm and she'll already be in bed, but I'm sort of hoping for a middle of the night wake up so I can get my hands on my girl.  This mothering thing is bigger than I thought it would be. 

We will certainly invoke the grandparents again for future vacations, but I can wait. 

Talk with you soon. Mahalo

Missing my girl.

Today's Maui Picture

Ah....Maui

a silly video from a few weeks ago

Sunset & The view from our balcony