These are the people in my neighborhood

I was noticing this morning that I live in a colorful world and that I interact with some unique folks on a daily basis.

At the bus stop in the morning there are generally the same folks day after day. There’s the bicycle lady who cuts the line to get her bike on the bus rack – she is VERY Reflective. I think of her as the “safety lady.”

There’s “Sue” who always wears ankle length skirts or dresses with the U_G_L_I_E_S_T shoes that are matronly and at least a size an a half too big. She also needs to update her eye wear as the turquoise binoculars are a tad out of date. (I searched the web for a site that has pictures of folks with ugly eyeglasses and didn’t find one – someone better get busy!)

“Mark & Mindy” are an urban couple who look a little mismatched. He’s super fit, with an earring, a little techno goatee, and all the current gadgets – trios, iPods, and Razors oh my. Mindy has unruly hair, dresses way wrong (her winter coat, gloves and hat get action into late spring when the rest of us are braving the chill knowing that we don’t want to carry that crap home.) She’s also unapproachable and doesn’t seem to have any ability to remember who we the “bus people” are. I’ve tried to strike up a convo – but get the confused “crazy lady” stare which is a good way to make me shut up.

Once on the bus, our world is even more colorful. “Josenna” is a 40-is black lady who has poor volume control. She doesn’t like to sit with anyone, but likes to talk. She’s very nice, but the conversations are limited to the bus, the driver’s skill, and the commute. After 3 years, I’m thankful for my headphones.

Ted is a backseat rider. He’s been in a methadone program since before I started riding the bus in 2003. (I’m not sure the program is very effective.) On the days that I think Josenna talks too loud I just have to remember Ted and his horrifically booming, slurring, descriptions of everything from his need to masturbate, to how to get the “Good” drugs from your doctor. Today, they must have changed his dosage because he went from loud loud talking about his girlfriend – whose name must be “Honey” or “Booty” near as I can tell, to a slouched deep sleep complete with intermittent snoring and sleep talking. “Get the Intercom” he yelled out when we hit a bump.

“Booty” doesn’t ride the bus very often, but she is very concerned with her appearance and how “we” the people see her. She is generally donning makeup and trying to get Ted to SHUT UP. Her dosage was off today as well because in the middle of painting her fingernails (not something I would attempt on a bus traveling on the freeway at 60 miles an hour) she too fell asleep. I didn’t see the pool of purple nail polish that collected on the seat until after she got off the bus.

We woke Ted and Booty up at their stop and they shook themselves awake and started to leave. I noticed that Ted left his phone on the seat and pointed it out to him. Man oh man was he grateful… “Thanks Ma’am” he shouted at me, “if I had some change I’d give you some money. Look Honey, Ialmos’leftmycellphoneontheseat. (one word) Damn, thank you Ma’am!” he rhymed toward me as he hit the street.

Dang, he Ma’amed me twice! Asshole

Finally, the last folks who round out my morning are the “Make-out couple.” These two are late 40’s and are hot and heavy for each other. I use to see them in their morning embrace in front of my other building and thought that when we moved to the new building that I would be leaving them behind. Now I frequently see them at the intersection in front of my new building. They will be at the light waiting for it go green like good Seattleites and I swear to the lord above they are making out. It is sweet that they are so in love – but damn people… GET A ROOM. Nobody wants to see your 48 year old tongue jetting in and out of your old man’s ear. I’m not even sure how these people get out of the house in the morning…they must separate to get dressed, but I’m sure it causes them stress. This is the couple that would sneak upstairs at a party and get it on in your kids’ bedroom – um, rude!

When I finally enter the office in the morning I’m pretty tired from all the judging and critiquing and need to take a nap. I ask my minion to wake me up and tuck under my cube until the first meeting. “Get the Intercom”