Family Drama

I got a call while I was in Texas that Aunt E (aka messy marvin) was in the hospital. My dad was in contact and she seemed to be improving.

When I got back home Friday (around 1 am -- thanks American Airlines) I decided to take a day at home before heading up to Bellingham. E had been released from the hospital to a place called Bellingham Health Care and Rehabilitation, but had some trouble and was sent back to the hospital.

I arrived at the hospital around 1pm Sunday and she was mostly out of it, sleeping, groggy and when awake talking nonsense about the people outside the window. She was also convinced that the lady in the next bed (who was a moaner) was my mom and that she thought it was rude that my dad wouldn't come visit her too.

After a few hours I headed over to her house - with dread and fear of what I might find the land lady gave me a key. Thankfully I picked up some industrial strength gloves and a breathing mask. It turns out she plugged her toilet and then got an unfortunate round of diarrhea. She managed the situation with adult diapers. This all wouldn't be so bad if she had the strength (or desire) to take out the garbage.

I cleaned for a few hours, set off a couple bug bombs (sorry about the environment) and went to the motel 8 where I showered for about an hour. I fell asleep to the movie Cast Away, but it must have been on more than once because I watched the thick Tom Hanks get naked and thin and then when I opened my eyes again he was fat and wet again.

Bright and early Monday I headed back over to the house and set out with a plan to bag up the laundry, clean the kitchen and get rid of all bio-waste. There are some things you do that you just do. I cleaned and scrubbed and bagged until noon when someone came and took all the trash away.

I headed to the hospital around 1 - but had to make a run to the Health Care and Rehab place to pick up her stuff. I moved her car from the ER Physician spot to a place where she'll never find it. I found her to be alert and lucid. She was very chatty and seemed like herself.

They told us they were sending her back to the B'ham HC & Rehab place at 4. She counted the minutes. (Having seen that place I'm not sure why she was looking forward to it.) The transport came and I met them over there (hauling bags of her stuff.) My plan was to get her settled and then go home.

WRONG.

She had a seizure during the movement from the wheelchair to the bed. The transport lady disappeared and then the paramedics came. All told she was at B'ham HC & Rehab center for about 30 minutes and then it was back to the ER.

Finally at 7 the ER doc said they were going to admit her again and I had to go. My dad is on phone patrol today and I'm hoping that no news is good news. (It's not, but I can hope.)

I'm hoping that the fact that she can't walk will mean that the Health Care and Rehabilitation center will be more permanent than not. I took lots of photos for the social worker (that I won't post) and will be working with her once E is able to make a successful transition to the Rehab center.

If she moves there permanently then I'll be spending some quality time up north but the goal will be to box the valuables and burn the rest. If that's the case I won't be doing it solo. I'll be hiring some friends - this alone thing is bullshit (to quote a friends 3 year old daughter.) My dad thinks he can come help. NOT A CHANCE. Mom, yes, Pop... no way.

So, if you're a "pray-er" please send word up top that E either gets so well that she can care for herself better than she was before (not likely) or that she at least be in a condition to warrant professional care. Oh my, the guilt... I'm actually hoping that she's not (ever) well enough to go home.

And here's the other thing. I have her power of attorney, durable and medical. I can invoke it and make all decisions. When she checked into the hospital they asked her about a DNR - and she didn't sign it. In reading the journal in her purse (because I'm a: snoopy and b: curious to see her mental state) she described the DNR conversation. It basically went "of course I want to be revived, why wouldn't I be!? I was awake when I came in here and intend to be awake when I leave." Hypothetically, if she deteriorates and I sign the DNR isn't that murder?

I guess not if its done at the point where she can't make decisions for herself. Doing it now and then putting a pillow over her head, well that would be murder. And I'm not sure, but might possibly be morally wrong.

Oh golly - I hope you can sense the sarcasm in my tone. Have a wonderful and adult diaper free day!