The 80's are dead. Here's proof

Yowza... that's some creative writing!

It's the last two comments that made Mr. Bell, my beloved high
school English teacher, roll over in his grave.

 


There are some possibilities for fictionary words here:
 
NOTMINDE: a drunken way to say "I'm ok if you do that." 

YEARD:  A lawn so big it takes 12 months to mow.

TROUIST:  A person dedicated to pants, from the root trouser.

HAPPEY:  What happens to a puppy when it is excited and you pick it up.  "Oh damn, that dog just happied all over my shirt."

TURISTY:  The technical term for bad masterbation skills.  "Sorry Timmy, you can't be in our circle jerk anymore, you are turisty for us and you are making a mess."

Fictionary

Thanks Matthew for this one:

Funemployment:  using your state unemployment benefits to enjoy your time off.

My mother-in-law who was (in my opinion) unfairly laid off from the job she loved due to "staff cuts" and not at all related to her being 65 is learning to enjoy her funemployment.  She is looking for work, but not as aggressively as she would be if being at home with her wonderful husband was making her crazy.  She's lunching with the ladies, getting out on her bike and enjoying herself.  (YOU GO GIRL!)

Hypothetically people, if you cite "staff cuts" as a reason to lay someone off, you might want to wait until AFTER they are gone to hire their replacement.  Making the person losing their job because of your "staff cuts" train their replacement makes you look like a dick.  (Sorry, I wanted to clean that up, but it makes me mad...)

oh we're so organized

Those of you who have been married, cohabiting or managing multiple schedules in one household get my praise for your organizational skills.  We are still working it out.

We're using Google calendar to keep our lives in order and have just worked out how to keep things sane.  We have Jason's calendar, TP's calendar, the Birthdays & Anniversaries and finally the Langdenrerserfers Family events all presented in one nifty spot.

Now we can easily identify which items are personal, which are "command" events and which are the "oh look, we're ignoring Aaron Matthew's birthday today.   Actually, Aaron Matthew is someone I've never met and his birthday is Sept 7th, but I wouldn't have known that without our new organization tool.

I likely will never dump the wall calendar as I think it is a fun record of our life over the year.  Mostly that calendar shows people who come to dinner or when we're headed to someone's house, or visits, trips, significant events like ultrasounds and parties. It doesn't show the business stuff like when the phone bill is due or trash day... those go on the electronic calendar because they are boring and I don't want to see them while I work.

Speaking of boring... this blog is pretty bad. Sorry.

Urg

So, for the most part I feel fantastic but I'm noticing an unfortunate trend. After I eat I am miserable. I'm not stuffing myself but wow, does the "I ate a horse" feeling sticks around for a few hours.

Thankfuly, the couch, pj's and cold water seem to help.

The nutrition strategy is to eat small meals and try to avoid the agony of the dinner.

I'm also trying not to whine, but waaah!

Wouldn't you know it?

A couple months ago Jason bought me a very nice wallet. It wasn't my birthday or any special occasion. He just did it to be nice and I love it!

However, I lost it after one of our long weekends away and have been searching high and low for it. I didn't want to mention it because I hoped it would turn up. Well, tonight over dinner I finally grew a pair and fessed up to my absentmindedness. He (of course) wasn't mad, instead he asked a couple questions about where I've looked and suggested the one travel bag that he is responsible for and I swear I looked there. We got home and he spent 3 minutes upstairs and came down with my pretty wallet in hand.

I've been worried and searching for weeks...when will I ever learn to just say what is what or ask for help?

Thank you Jason!!!

They call me Mr. Sleeps ALONE!

Have you ever had something rolling around in your brain that seems totally sane and reasonable and then you say it out loud and the ridiculousness of it makes you laugh?

Sometimes Jason & I share the wacky dreams that night time brings us.  Mostly it is me with the stories as his "record" button never seems to be on.  He's aware that he was dreaming, but when he wakes up whatever the story was is gone.

I want my own damn room!

I'm not so lucky. Sometimes my dreams are my brain working out the real life issues, such as the baby dream I just had.  But others make no sense whatsoever.  Saturday night I dreamed that I owned a rather large victorian mansion and it was filled with all sorts of relatives and people who were living with me. The house needed some work and I was approached by one tenant who wasn't happy about his living arrangements.  Apparently, Sidney Poitier didn't like sharing a room with two teenage boys. The room was kind of shabby with a single nice bed for Mr. Poitier and two mattresses on the floor for the boys.  Frankly, I wouldn't have like it either, the boys were slobs.

I decided to put up a wall and create a separate living space for Mr. Poitier, but in doing so noticed that through a doorway was an entire other living area so we just moved him into that much larger, more luxurious space. Problem solved.  I'm glad I could be of help.

As I started to tell this story to Jason tears of laughter started to stream down my face.  Why on earth would I dream about Sidney Poitier's sleeping arrangements?  Why would he be renting a room at my house?  Don't you think he has some funds tucked away?

The baby dreams make sense - can I handle a baby, is a baby really coming...but I'm pretty sure Sidney Poitier is not coming for dinner let alone a sleep over.

HOT!

Yowza...I'm in love!

Check out grampa orange pants, spotted at the Renton Safeway gas station. I'm not sure what I love more, the fanny pack with the dangly keys or the shorty-short orange knit pants.

Either way, this is one hot grampa!

Friday Friday Friday

Molly Dooker
A favorite wine.

We have been go go go since I can't remember when.  Thankfully, Jason is on call this weekend so we weren't able to plan any out of town activities.  We get to have at home date night this evening and are hanging with the very pregnant Chelsey & Doug tomorrow.  We were told to be at their house from 5:00 to 5:30 - so I'm guessing we could go to a movie or something at 6.

Our day for tomorrow sounds exciting (to me).  We're going to our favorite wine store to drool and fawn over the wine maker of a favorite wine and to move the new Walla Walla wine into the storage unit and move out some of the stuff that needs to be in rotation.

I'm aware that I'm not drinking wine right now, but that doesn't mean that this wine rotation, and winemaker fawning event isn't necessary and won't be fun.   I will not always be on the wagon and we must be prepared.

We will also restock our fridge.  It is quite barren in our food stores because before vacation I refused to buy anything and did a rather brutal thinning of old(ish) things.  Items like mustard, which technically doesn't go bad, but expired in December got the boot.  Along with some aged jam, and a few things that were tucked way in the back.  We've only lived here 10 months, but food will hide in order to avoid the trash bin.

The being on call thing is kind of a hassle, especially at 6am when Puerto Rico needs assistance, but since he's only on call once in a blue moon and it counts as overtime (new shoes!!!) I roll with the punches. 

So, it will be a low key weekend, we'll likely watch some movies (The Green Zone) and stay up too late on the couch... it should be wacky married people fun.

10 days

It is mid-year review time at my current and well appreciated employer. Having been a consultant last year, I was able (fortunate) to skip this process. There are many benefits to being on staff, but the big drawback is having to participate in this Hr mandated process.




I am (dare I say it) blessed with a manager who is incapable of hiding when she is displeased and is extremely clear about expectations and goals. This can be rough if you don’t agree with the direction or think the goals are wack-a-doo. However, if you make sure you understand what is expected, don’t over promise, working with her is nice. It helps that I’m 110% fine with letting her drive the overall vision and I will execute without the emotional involvement that caused me so much aggravation at MegaBank. It is not that I don’t care, because I do, but my own personal value is not wrapped up in “how” it is done. This attitude is refreshing to live with and I’m sure extremely refreshing to manage. I think it is called maturity. But I’m unclear as to what that really means.

Anyway, this manager takes the review process seriously and the feedback is helpful and doesn’t EVER come as a surprise. If she says something to you in your review that is a surprise, YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION.

I reported to the senior mucky-muck for a while at MegaBank, and it was great. I love it, but reviews were useless. “Keep doing what you’re doing.” This is nice to hear, but it sure doesn’t help me grow or identify the areas where I could be investing time and energy to be an even MORE spectacular employee.

My favorite in-house IT guy is also going through the review process and he seriously hates it.

I think the willingness to participate and spend the time to document your fabulousness is directly related to what the managers do with what you provide them. If they respond year after year with “yeah, you’re ok” and don’t provide the areas you need to focus on, and you get the peanut butter raise year over year, your willingness to spend the time is diminished. The peanut butter raise is where everyone gets the same 1.5%ish raise. HR likes to call it a “Merit” increases, but if your merit is equal to my merit, year over year, it is a cost of living, or “good for you for surviving another year” event.

Anyway, mid year, here is about touching bases.  Bottom line... I'm on track.  She's happy... I'm happy!
 
Whew.

The Details

For me, keeping a secret is actually pretty hard.  I want to sing my fun news from the top of every mountain top.  I tried to hold out and keep it on the down low for as long as possible because of all the things that can go wrong with a potential new person.  However, doctor appointment after doctor appointment keeps reaffirming that this little being will be coming into our world.

Here's how it happened.  (relax...we won't be getting into THAT)  Jas & I started seriously talking in January about kids adn how it would be great, scary, life changing, fantastic, tiring, aggrivating, amazing, and all other things you might think being a parent would be.  We didn't share this discussion with anyone because it is and should be a personal decision.  Plus, who here doesn't think that my mom would be taking out a billboard stating that "Terri's having a baby" about 3 seconds after I asked "what do you think?"  When you know people will be over the moon excited if you get pregnant, you don't ask them if they think it is wise. 

Anywho... we had a fun weekend with friends and their kids (which was maybe supposed to be a deterrent) and decided on the way home to stop using birth control for a while.  I have had many beautiful, healthy friends who have seriously struggled with getting pregnant, keeping a pregnancy and have gone through seriously invasive procedures to add to their family.  Some have adopted, some have been really creative (no, nobody stole a baby) and some are quietly trying/not trying.   I felt there was a strong possibility that because of my "advanced maternal age"  (that's a nice way of saying over 35) that it would take a while to get pregnant if we even could.

Well, listen up 16 year old kids.... YOU CAN GET KNOCKED UP ON THE FIRST TRY!!!  We calculate that we had conception about 3 days after the birth control was removed. 

About a week later, I was at home doing some laundry when I felt a significant pinch in my girlie area and had to sit down for a moment.  I had my annual doctor appt. the next week so I asked my Dr. about it and he looked at me, smiled, and said "it is too early to test yet" but maybe you should lay off the wine and coffee for a while.  I, of course, ran home and used up 3 pregnancy tests (all negative) in 3 days. 

I had a business trip the following week and should have been visited by my "Aunt Mavis" but she did not come.  I was not concerned, but the morning after I got home, I tinkled on the replacement  EPT stick that I secretly purchased and was rather stunned to see the word "PREGNANT" pop up on the stick.

It was about 5 in the morning and I walked back into the bedroom holding the stick and said "Honey....."  Without moving, Jason asked calmly "Is it positive?"  Me "Yup."  (so romantic)

Then, for the next two hours we laid in bed and laughed.  You know, that nervous "what the f*ck did we do" laugh.  His parents were visiting and we tried to keep our news to ourselves, but I clearly have a VERY BIG tell.  Apparently, I am not known for EVER turning down a glass of wine. 
By the end of the weekend the circle had grown to both sets of parents, and two friends (again with the wine as a dead giveaway.) 

We have had two ultrasounds and have met with our OB.  The OB and the ultrasound people put our due date at February 23rd or 24th.  We will get a third, and way more detailed ultrasound in October (at 20 weeks) when we'll get to learn the sex of the baby.  Until then, we mostly refer to it has whatever size fruit the iPhone baby tracker gives us for the week. 

This week, we are a peach. 

You know I will be blogging about this, but in order to keep the baby blather to a dull roar I did start a sub-blog that you are welcome to checkout when (or if) you like.  If you don't want to be subjected to my inner craziness about doctor appointments, clothes and my ever changing body you can skip it. 

So, for now...we are happily gestating.

The other blog: Coming In February

Here's the other thing I've been working on...

Jr. TP gal or TP dude @ 13 weeks.

Ok, I've been keeping a secret.  Tee hee.  We're pregnant!

Can you stand it?

We're just about to the end of the 1st trimester so I thought it was time to share.

It's no accident, we planned it.  We're crazy and excited and scared.

What on earth are we thinking????

More as time goes by.

Ah... vacation!

Our little rental cabin.

Sorry for the black out.  I was on the Snake River near Clarkston enjoying good weather, good boating, good food, good friends and family.

We (whatshisface and I) joined Jason's cousin Marty for their annual camping trip, and I have to say it was wonderful.  The weather was warm, the river was very suited for swimming and the company was easy to be with.  We were with five other families and enjoyed nights by the campfire every evening. 

We don't have a fancy trailer, so we rented one of the cabins that come with two full beds, a twin bunk, power and A/C.  It was small, but the A/C was a treat.  Because we're spoiled, we slept "Lucy & Ricky" style, in our own beds.  Oh... the newlywed need to co-sleep does not extend to a full sized bed unless it is absolutely necessary.

J&T on the water

Tubing...but not fast!

J&T hanging on.

seconds before we lost Jason.

Cousin Marty

Cousin Marty has a boat, so in addition to swimming near shore, we enjoyed lots of trips to the middle of the river where we either played on the tubes, or "parked" the boat and floated happily on the tubes, dipping in the water to cool off.  It was bliss.

The tubing experience was fun, even though I'm an old lady.  As you can see there isn't much wake, but I'm hanging on for dear life.  Marty was great about giving us a good ride, but being really safe.  The teenage boys however, spent a lot of time in the water due to the faster and more aggressive speeds.  For those trips, I stayed at the shore. 

On our second tubing experience, everyone was still expecting me to fall off and were watching me like a hawk.  You'll see it the picture below that it was Jason who did some exciting maneuvers and just after that picture was taken he fell off.  I heard the people in the boat say "Gee, Terri is making a strange hand signal.  I think she wants us to stop.  Oh wait... where is Jason?"  As we left him bobbing in the water I couldn't help but call out "Wilson!!!!!"

We split the meals so that only one family cooked dinner each night.  Lucky us, we were on duty the first night and then got to sit back and eat like kings the rest of the time.   These people don't mess around with hot dogs either, we ate fresh smoked pork, chicken teriyaki, steak, ribs, and spaghetti.  Yum Yum.  Mom let us borrow her camp stove and oven combo thing - so we also managed some pretty rockin breakfasts.  Eggs and Bacon in the wild are a happy flavor.

We did sneak into town a couple times, once for breakfast and then on my birthday for a juicy cheeseburger.  We tried the local places and found them to be kitchy and cute, but nothing to write home about.  I did think that it was a nice touch in the cowboy burger bar to have saddles as seats in some of the booths.  I sat my big butt on a regular chair thank you very much!

All in all, it was great.  We are tan (but not burned!) and yet happy to be home.  I told my bed that I loved it last night.  The only sad thing was this morning, Jason made the most pathetic sound as he put on work pants for the first time in 10 days.  It was almost as if it hurt his skin.  Me, I'm still in shorts - but logged onto work at 7:30 this morning, just to catch up with what I missed.

Next year, the camping trip may involve a houseboat.  We've been invited and I'm sure we'll find a way to make it work.  I love hanging out all day in my suit.

Right now... there is laundry.  Piles and piles of laundry.  Thank goodness for the work at home situation!

Happy birthday to me. 42...sheesh.
More later when I return from a fabulous outing.

Juvenile & Wrong

I've been subjecting Jason to the WE tv channel. (I confess, I like the Ghost Whisperer from time to time. ).
The programming and commercials are all targeted toward women.
The channel is called "WE" and not WE Tv, because every juvenile on the planet would call it Wet-V and that's just wrong.  Juvenile

10 things that are good about working at home:

1) The short commute.

2) The dress code.  My first meeting this morning was conducted while I was still in my pj's.

3) The cafeteria : my food, at my schedule

4) Multi-tasking.  I had a 2 hour educational conference call today.  The security analyst talked for two hours on an interesting topic and I listened and learned, but I also got to take a moment in my lovely bathtub.  He was talking about load balancers and firewalls while I deep conditioned my hair.  Do THAT at your cubicle.

5) Being home to sign for UPS packages.

6) Hearing the Blue Angels practice.  (That's not an everyday thing... it is a summer thing)

7) Lunch al back yardo.  Yes, when I was downtown lunch on the patio at the Cantina was fun, but my pb&j on my patio is a glorious thing.

8) Laundry.  I love that I can get all the laundry done on Monday or Wednesday and not have to mess around with it on the weekends or in the evening. 

9) Musak.  I control the music selection and can play it at a level that works for me.

10) Office Gossip.  I am blissfully separated from the office gossip.  I don't have to get involved or hear about the rumors of who is sleeping with whom.  I'm out of the loop, but the gossip I don't miss.

The great disappointments in life

Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed.

Each morning I make my way to work (the room across the hall from my bedroom) and log on to work, I check email, check the calendar for the day and start to plan my activities. 

While I am logging on I turn to my personal computer (also on my desk) and check my personal email, and click my hotlink to the Seattle Times where I scan the front page for the daily news and then click the clink to the comics.  Ever since I was a kid I have enjoyed starting my day with the comic strips.  I have had favorites that have retired or started over which is an odd thing, when a strip starts from the beginning it isn't seldom relevant and they generally lose me. 

I am an avid reader of Luann, Sally Forth, Arlo & Janis and 9 Chickweed Lane.  I also read Zits, Pickles and Dilbert. 

Today, I clicked the first link in the listing and anxiously awaited to see what was happening on 9 Chickweed Lane.  All spring and summer  they have been telling the story of the grandmothers experience in WWII and a tragic love story.  It has been fascinating and a little saucy for a comic strip.   So, without paying attention to the link I clicked the first on the list, as 9 Chickweed Lane comes first when alphabetized. 

I was confused when the strip Arlo & Janis popped up.  After reading it, I surfed back over to the main comics listing and... and... 9 Chickweed Lane was NOT ON THE LIST. 

At the top of the page I see this:

Note to readers: You spoke. We listened. This spring, more than 15,000 of you filled out the The Seattle Times' comics survey. Your enthusiastic responses tell us that you value this part of seattletimes.com and the newspaper. Starting this weekend, you'll see some changes that are a result of your feedback.

Then a link to a bigger story.  The bottom line... they dropped my favorite comic strip. 

The loss is confounded by their retention of comic strips that are essentially running re-runs.  Don't get me wrong, For Better or Worse is a great strip, but it they are republishing her work from the beginning.  I suppose it is nice that a new generation gets to follow this family but grrrr I've already done it.  Same with FoxTrot.  Heck they only publish new strips on Sundays.  Monday-Saturday the strips are from the archives.

Those of you who are too erudite to read comics and think my pain is trite can pop back into your corner and leave me alone.  I'm going to pout for a moment.

(YES, I am aware that I can find the comic online elsewhere, but I liked my ritual.)