Another step closer

I met with the super serious psychologist today for an assessment. My assumption is that it went really well, I operate under the assumption that I'm not mentally ill.

We talked about history, how much my mother and father screwed me up by staying married, working and working out their differences by not throwing things or yelling. (A-holes)

Then we talked about how terrible high school and college was with all those friends, and all that fun stuff we had to do.

After an hour I took a little "test" - 650 some statements designed to delve into my psyche. They were true/false and for the most part very easy but there were a few that were so convaluted I wasn't sure what the heck they were saying:

I often know that the problems I have are red shoe, trunk lock because people is what I think obsessively nightly.
( ) TRUE
( ) FALSE
( ) WTF?

Most of the statements were pretty depressing:

My friends and family would be better off without me.
I don't sleep at night and sleep all day.
All food tastes the same to me
I often lose my train of thought.
I am often forced to tell people what is wrong with them.
I often hear things that others can not.
My skin hurts me.
I often lose my train of thought.
I need to touch animals in a hurtful way.
It secretly pleases me when those who are out to get me are hurt.
People are plotting against me.
I often lose my train of thought.

Wow... I hope the person for which those statements are true has a good support system and a packet of Post-It's to keep track of the conversation.

(also... had a little issue at work unrelated to the blog, but I will refrain from referring to activities there for a while. I'm sure you'll be sad not to hear about that.... DULL.)

Oh... and talked to Rico about my apprehension about being THE entire music coordinator for the wedding and was a left a message today that said he and Cindy talked it over and they are confident I'll be great. Oh good, so I guess thats it then.

The BIG news

After a lifetime of struggling with my weight I'm about to take a dramatic step in a new direction. Since the beginning of the year I've been thinking about weight loss surgery. I've done months of research and checked out hospitals.

I've worked out the financing (yikes... NOT CHEAP - think of the cost of a mildly well equipped new VW Beetle Convertible) and found a hospital with a good program.

I'm still going through some pre-tests to determine if I'm a good candidate, but my primary doc gave me the thumbs up and so far all tests have been really good.

It's a big deal and doesn't come without risk, but my primary care doc thinks I'll do just fine.

My work insurance doesn't cover it, so I'm not sure I'm going to loop them in. I just may take some time off and screw them if they don't like it.

I meet with the psychiatrist Wednesday to make sure I don't have unrealistic expectations. I'm pretty sure she and I aren't going to be fast friends, our one phone call to schedule the "event" was more challenging than I would have expected. She is a serious serious person. I had been working on a joke about my expectations after the surgery, but I don't get that she would see it as a joke.

I don't think it's wholly unreasonable to expect that within a month or so I'll be a size 6, and that HRH the prince of wales, William will come knocking on my door to wisk me away to be the future Queen of England. Oh, and I'll win $300 million in the lottery and George Clooney will beg me to come live with him on Lake Como in Italy. It could TOTALLY happen.

In reality, it's gong to be a lot of hard work and will require permanent behavior changes. It is not a get-thin-quick scheme. I'm in the process of trying to relearn how to eat, and for the most part its going well. Social situations are going to be a challenge. (This holiday season for one will be really different.)

I've told the most of my people (sorry if you're hearing about this first right now) and my family is on board. Mom is ready to move in to help support me during recovery. I think two weeks will be my limit for "help." I'll be out of work for three weeks, but that last week I think I'll muster on my own.

The surgery date isn't scheduled yet, but I will let you know. I'll also post photo's of progress, but I promise not to turn this into a 100% weight-loss blog. I'm more than my weight and hope to always be a (forgive this pun, I can't stop myself) a well rounded person.

Well, that's the news. I gotta run and finish the laundry so I have something to wear this week.

oh how I love thee

blogging from the iPhone isn't quite as easy as a normal key board type interface, but it doesn't totally suck either. Flipping the phone onto its side gives me a larger keyboard.

so, I want to share that I'm not a huge fan of my new boss. He's a little slick for my taste. He's also really ballsy. He takes off early (10:00am) on Wednesdays and Thursdays to golf but still has the balls to complain about how everyone clears out by 4:30 on Fridays.

What ever dude! What's sad is that my peers who I really respect are thinking about jumping ship. That really blows.

So, not loving (or respecting) boss 4.0, and we're so convinced that he doesn't fit in that we've started a pool to see how long it takes for him to be given the opportunity to seek new options or spend more time with his kids. (that's "business" for FIRED.)

Its Friday, and I'm sure I'll be back to being a good little trooper come Monday.

Remember when we were in our 20's?

Remember those years when all we worried about was which bar to go to on Saturday and how to actually pay for the drinks? It is good being older, the stability is very nice and I love that my inner dialog is mature and I don’t often get caught up in the drama of stupid things, but there is a down side.

I am noticing a disturbing trend that I would like to put a halt to immediately! Health issues among friends, a dear friend is dealing with fibrous tumors in her girlie region, another sweet friend is having a “lump” removed and one of my grade school classmates just passed away!

None of this is ok people! Both ladies are going to be fine, but the health care roller coaster isn’t fun. Plus, they don’t give you a map or a plan so you can plot out your strategy, each stop along the way provides another clue to your next destination. I also think it’s AWESOME that lab results take anywhere from three days to three weeks, because it gives the patient something to DO. Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here and imagine that I’m dying while you mail my tests to the outsourced lab in Peoria. Frankly, this waiting borders on cruelty.

As for the childhood chum, well here’s a case for some sort of national health care. Dave didn’t have insurance and let his dental work slip and ended up with a terrible infection. He ended up in the emergency room and (just my opinion folks) had he had insurance they would have admitted him, but instead sent him home with antibiotics, the next day… DEAD. This is a guy with a high school education, a job, and a family. He wasn’t a drugged out loser, or a drain on us tax payers… he was a tax payer. I have high hopes that we can figure out a way to get the basic needs of our fellow man met, because I’m not sleeping very well at night.

As for the rest of you who may be thinking about catching a little cancer or up and dying… DON’T YOU DARE! TPgal needs you! (because it’s all about me?)

Mrs. Rico V2.0

Rico is sad no more. He and the lovely newAli (who officially has her own name and identity) will be tying the knot on September 1st. Cindy is a really amazing and I like her - especially as a partner with Rico.

They have a good communication style and want the same things out of life. As couple they have expanded their world of friends and those friends are healthy sane people (unlike the toxic DeMonica and the do-one-thing-wrong-and-you're-dead-to-me B&K.)

So, with the oldest friends blessing, they are hoping for sunshine on the 1st as they will gather in a friends yard with 45 of their closest people and do the deed.

One minor oddity about the wedding (because you might think this was ghost written if I wasn't a little evil) I'm doing the music, including the bride processional, but haven't been invited to the rehearsal. I've been to enough weddings that I suppose I can wing the clicking on of the iPod without practice but I do think its an odd omission.

Got to run, busy day today. (leaving for work at 5:56, that's just WRONG)

Resolve

I'm back on a healthy eating plan. I've talked to a nutritionist and it's working. I've lost 19 pounds in the last month (go me!) and the rules are easy:

6 small meals a day
40-60 grams of protein a day
lean meats
fruits & veggies
whole grains
eat slow
don't drink with meals (no water or nothin')
avoid caffeine
no carbonated beverages
64 oz water a day

Frankly, with work and the water there's no time to eat crap. I still want to and passing on the donuts during our last marathon work meeting was a struggle. It kills me that all those skinny people can hork down 2+ donuts while I know I can't.

Anyway - I'm not here today to whine about what I can and can't eat. I'm ok with the new plan - plenty o' good food. I'm here to complain because the nutritionist wants (demands) that I document my food intake.

I was really good for a week, but then I went on vacation and stopped. I didn't ever start again.

She just sent me a letter telling me to mail in my food logs.

CRAP!!!!!

I've spent the morning going over my meals and was able to recreate the last 2 weeks but I don't think I'm going to be able to go all the way back to the 19th of July.

It's good that I've been (mostly) sticking to the rules - but I'd hate for her to boot me to the curb for not doing my homework.

Damn Nurse

I had my annual physical and had blood taken for cholesterol test... I'm not an easy person to draw blood from... but damn that hurt!

Fictionary Additions

Blurticide: the statement you can't hold back said to an executive that kills your career.

Fictionary entries

From MWR:

Fam-elope -- when you and your significant other go away for the weekend to "visit my parents" and come back married.

My friend just did this, telling no one of his friends in advance.

Soonics -- nickname for Oklahoma City's NBA franchise

Bye Bye Rove

One more crony down... two big ones left. Jan 20, 2009... tick tock

Yikes!

Wow, I think my neighbor really pissed someone off. His car is covered in what looks like baby powder and the passenger window in smashed in. The stereo, his sun glasses and his leather coat are still in the car, which leads me to believe it was a personal attack.

I'm glad I wasn't here to witness it, and I hope I'm not here when he finds it.

I think screaming and the "F" word are in someone's future.

Thirty-'effing-Nine!?

Whoa I'm cruising towards middle age... (ah, denial such a pretty place to visit) I wonder when I'm going to start feeling "mature"?

So, here's the funny thing. Usually I'm all up in arms about my birthday and it almost never meets my expectations. So, no matter how wonderful my people are I'm a whiny spoiled child who is pouty because my sense of self worth is out of whack. This year however, I wanted a low key kind of birthday. Not because it's the last year of my 30's or because it means that my chances of finding mister right and getting married are smaller than the likelihood that I'm the next big lotto winner, but because there's bigger more important stuff going on and it doesn't have to be about ME all the time.

Long story short - didn't mention the birthday to anyone at work and I'm the birthday faerrie at the office so I was set. However, Becky sends the prettiest flowers on Monday with a big "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" balloon.

Tuesday, Janie and I have a lunch date which I was super excited about. I get off the elevator totally anticipating her usual "embarrass tp gal" antics and what do I see? Not only is she smack dab in the middle of the main lobby with a giant balloon bouquet, but she's got both kids, her husband and our friend Robert who lives in Miami. They were holding signs and made a huge fuss. I was so excited to see everybody that I forgot to be embarrassed. I did the happy dance across the lobby to pass out hugs and kisses to everyone. We took the balloons up to my office and Janie insisted on taping the signs to the exterior of my "office." I'm a good sport and the signs will stay up until 4pm tomorrow just as she would want it.

Later that day, mom and dad's super pretty flowers arrived. People are so smart not to send them on the actual day (Thursday) but early in the week so I can enjoy them.

So, while I didn't want to be the center of the world at work, I certainly am. People I've never seen before are popping their heads in to wish me a happy birthday. I've given up explaining that it isn't until Thursday - but I still blush every single time. Those of you who know me know that blushing isn't in my normal routine.


Big huge gracious thank yous to Becky and Janice for going totally over the top and making my week a lovely one. I am sincerely touched and grateful for having you in my life.

That goes for the rest of you too. I am a very lucky gal! (Dang, who watched a hallmark channel marathon tonight?)

Reading Is Fun

So I'm accidentally reading three books right now. That doesn't happen to me very often, I like to start and finish one before I start another.

I'm reading Saving the World by Julia Alvarez - so far very interesting. Two women, one in modern day and the other ages and ages ago. This one is going back and forth to work every day and should be wrapped up soon.

Chesil Beach is a short little book by the author that brought us Atonement (wonderful). It's in the dining room and gets a few pages a day.

Emma was pulled from the bookshelf during my write up of the movie Becoming Jane and I started to read it and now it's on the night stand.

I don't know what I'm going to do when the book club book arrives this week along with the three other books I happened to throw in for good measure.

Someday I hope all the time I've spend in these novels will come to some good. Maybe it's only to steer you away from books that I've read that you shouldn't. Beware of paperback books covered in praise for an authors previous book. That is never a good sign. The rule does not hold true for hardbacks - it's a crap shoot at that point. I'm hesitant to publicly slam the latest "worst book I've ever read" winner as my attempts at fiction are juvenile at best. Let me just say this... the Lovely Bones was wonderful and I highly recommend it. That would be my comment on the back of any new title by the author that I may have read.

Bourne Ultimatum

What can I say that hasn't been said. It F*cking ROCKED!

Three minor complaints - the first is about minors. Children under the age of 10 should not be at a rated R movie unless they are likely to sleep through the dang thing. There were multiple small (4&5 year olds) at this movie and frankly it really pisses me off.

GET A BABYSITTER! Your kids don't need to see someone killed up close in hand to hand combat.

Second item - and it's not really a complaint but an error. In the movie we see a document about Jason Bourne and it provides personal data like date of birth and the like (blood type) and later we see his dog tags (no spoiler there) and they have his blood type printed on them... different blood type.

I don't care how powerful your super secret wing of the government is, you aren't changing a dude's blood type.

Final item, the camera work made me dizzy. There were a couple places where I had to avert my eyes because I was starting to feel woozy.

Don't let these issues distract from the over all message. This movie was one of the best part III movies I've ever seen. It was exciting from the beginning to the end and I left wanting a fourth movie. Not because it's not wrapped up, but because I can't get enough of Bourne's quick super powers. He's a killing machine but he's got a soul and that makes him fun to watch.

Bottom Line: Get a baby sitter, take some Dramamine and see this movie!

I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry

Can a movie about two straight guys who pretend to be gay to solve an insurance problem be at all funny? Wouldn't you expect it to be insulting and rude? The answer to both questions is yes.

The convenient movie time drove the selection of this particular flick. It's hard to find a movie that starts at 8. You either have to rush through dinner to get to a 7pm show or wait around for the 9pm showings.

Anywho... Chuck & Larry (Kevin James & Adam Sandler) is ultimately about changing preconceived notions about people, and friendship and love (blah blah blah.)

They aren't able to shy away from the juvenile "f*g" jokes, but they do attribute those jokes to moronic assholes. It's a cheap way to be able to make the soap on a rope joke and still be about acceptance. That ploy was very transparent.

There were some very funny bits and while my companions were surprised I wasn't ha-ha-ing in the obvious spots there were a couple times where the humor was brilliant and truly made me laugh.

I'm pretty sure the gay and lesbian community won't be running out to hold this movie up as the cultural equivalent of the womens suffrage movement. However at the end of the day, as Adam Sandler movies go... this was pretty harmless.

Kudos to Rob Cordry for a very nice send up of the asshole "man of God" who goes to funerals of gays with the "f*gs will burn in hell" signs.

Bottom Line: matinée or HBO

Becoming Jane

In the world of chick flicks seldom is a story where passion goes unindulged. Generally, those films follow the satisfying path and eventually the Miss Bennetts of the world get their Mr. Darcy. See When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless In Seattle, Almost Heaven, Sweet Home Alabama, Two Weeks Notice, Hope Floats as a few examples.

Often when love goes unfulfilled a greater lesson is at hand, and we are better for it. I am often frustrated with authors who feel the need to wrap a little bow at the end of their stories (one notable example recently is the author who gave his characters the long lost love, freedom from tyranny AND a big bag of money. It was a beautiful book and I am recommending it amongst friends so I will not out the author here.) At the movies and especially in the romance genre I do not heap this criticism, and am often irritated when a fluffy film tries to teach me something.

Becoming Jane does not follow the expected route of a "Jane Austin" movie and is quite satisfying. For fans of Austin's written work (or the movie adaptions) the producers of this film have dropped in enough likenesses of characters we love and love to loathe to make it a tasty treat. Also, rather than hit us over the head with these cameos they are subtle and not at all distracting.

Anne Hathaway (of Princess Diary, The Devil Wears Prada fame - and stellar work in Brokeback Mountain) does a bang up job of playing an Englishwoman. Her accent is less forced than other American actresses who try to pull it off - Jenna Malone in the terrible big screen edition of Pride & Prejudice. Kiera Knightly is very pretty but she is NOT Elizabeth Bennett.

James McAvoy is a lovely actor who is the star of "The Last King of Scotland" and is graceful in this period film. I would run away with him in a heartbeat - bad teeth and all. He's not your typical tall, strong, manly movie hero, but he's very appealing. Ooh, tpgal has a crush!

So, bottom line, this would be a good matinée movie date, or a rainy night snuggle on the couch together kind of film. If you pay full price like I did you won't be disappointed, but it's not one you HAVE to see in the big screen.

Why is that news?

Thanks CNN for this headline:

Pistons coach '20 yards' from bridge tragedy

Why not post a scatter chart of all the NBA coaches and their distance from the bridge collapse? God knows what we would have done if someone important like Paris Hilton had been within driving distance of the bridge. Thank heavens they are safe.

A shout out to the great beyond

Happy Birthday to my Grampas! Miss you both (and hope you have Internet access.)

Understanding Right from Wrong, a new pamphlet for the Taliban

Kidnapping South Korean aid workers who are in country to provide medical care to the poor - wrong.

Killing their leader -wrong

Shooting another captive and leaving him by the side of the road - um wrong

Failure to value the lives of others - wrong

The world thinks you're ass-holes.