I don't understand...

While watching the Grammys Sunday I was following along with the LA Times live blogger during the show.  It was a delightfully sarcastic interpretation of the event.  J was loving the music, but didn't have that "girlfriend" snipping thing happening.  I'd ask "What is she wearing!?" and he'd blankly look at me as if to ask, why does it matter?    It doesn't matter dude, which is why it is fun to mock them!

 

However, J and I were on the same page about the silly performance of the Jonas Brothers and poor Stevie Wonder.  The JoBro's were swarming around Stevie like gnits on a hot summer night.  I fully expected him to start swatting at them to shoo them away from his personal space. 

 

Justin Timberlake gets props in my book for pulling together an additional performance that night with less than 2 hours notice.  I want to hate this guy for being in a useless boy band (see Jonas Brothers) but he has talent that I can't deny.

 

The reason JT had to pull together an impromptu performance is that Rhianna (a smokin' hot, young singer) pulled out of the show a few hours before the curtain was to rise.  It has been all over the news that her "boyfriend" Chris somebody apparently beat her up after they left a party in LA.   Reports are that he not only hit her, but that he may have severely bit her.  Bit, like with your teath!?

 

I've supported the Eastside Domestic Violence Program for a number of years now and do understand the domestic violence scene.  I get that people do learn their coping skills from the environment in which they were exposed and that some people resort to hitting because they don't have the words to say "hey, you are pissing me off right now!"   I also understand that DV can happen to anyone, there isn't a specific type of person who is more prone or more vulnerable and peope certainly do not CHOSE to be in that situation.

 

Intellectually, I know all of this, but I simply can not comprehend a scenario in which I would be so out of control that I would hit and bite my partner in anger.  I know I'm fortunate that I was raised in a household where conflict was solved with words.  Sometimes loud words, but there was talking and listening and then more talking and listening.  I can only recall one incident where there was swinging of an object in anger.  (And I think my dear teenaged brother deserved to get swiped with that dish towel for what I remember was a frustrating set of mistruths that were presented to a parent at his or her wits end.  And... in that scenario, I also recall the parent in question removed themselves from the situation because they were so mad.  Knowing when to self-impose a "mommy or daddy timeout" is a useful skill.  My lack of experience in 'loosing it' makes it hard for me to understand how a situation like that goes down.

 

So, here's Rhianna a rich and successful gal who has a boyfriend who is equally rich and successful boyfriend.  They "should" be immune to these things.  That isn't the case, but from the outside looking in it is easy to wonder what they have to be angry about.  I hope that she has a strong support system and that Mr. Brown gets help too.  I don't believe that he has to be an "abuser."  I hope that with help he could be in a healthy relationship with the right person.  (His parole officer?)   I do sincerely hope that who ever he ends up with in the long run isn't Ms. Rhianna.  I don't know them or their relationship, but I would hope that she get's the heck away from him forever. They clearly aren't good together.

 

These are just my opinions, for what it is worth.