This is such a girl thing, but with the details of the new job getting clearer I'm having feelings of insecurity and doubt.
I am confident that my former boss would not have called me if he didn't believe that I could do this job, but as I think about what it is they want accomplished I wonder if I have the technical skills to achieve each expectation. I also wonder if its too much job for one person to accomplish between now and December 31st.
Come Monday morning I will sit my behind down on the airplane to San Jose and start my new journey. My plan is to be methodical and document their expectations and then determine the steps necessary to meet them. The great thing about this is because I haven't worked at eBay (can I identify eBay as my 'client'... hope so) no one there thinks I'm the one to approach for answers on every crazy topic under the sun. I'm going to be able to focus on the task at hand and not worry about who is planning the Christmas Party or how to explain to my staff why even though they worked really hard that they are only getting a 3% raise.
The fact that I have a plan doesn't completely erase the fear that someone will notice right away that I'm not "THE GREATEST INFORMATION SECURITY GURU" on the face of the earth and send me packing. When I was asked what experience I had in the area of my new contract I was honest, so at least I didn't represent myself as the queen of call center security.
Anyway...this being unsettled is probably good. It will likely help me kick into high gear, whereas life at the bank has been decidedly on hold for a while.
Change is good. Change is good. Change is good.
2 comments:
I felt very much the same way when I took this job -- I was very comfortable as a senior analyst; I knew the job and did it well. When I got hired to the be the IT Manager for my current company, I was extremely nervous and very hesitant. Bottom line is, they know what they need. Whatever it is, they happen to see that in you... so trust that they don't want to waste their time either.
In the big picture, what's the worst thing that could happen? Really? You aren't a good fit and your have to find another job?
I mean this in the most sincere way, since I was your shoes not to long ago.
Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff!
I hope you will be the one to finally put a stop to identity theft and account hijacking on eBay. It's out of control. Can you believe the balls on this guy? http://myworld.ebay.com/raccoon/
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