Sunday, February 27, 2011

Are you my friend?

I've mentioned before that I like Facebook.  It has been fun reconnecting with people from my high school and from the beach where I grew up.  I like being able to hear about what's going on in these folk's lives. 

For me, facebook is a fun place to share small, funny tidbits about my life and or a forum to launch a complaint or two about the things that are irksome.  You can get validation pretty quickly or be put in your place when whining about something silly.  I got both types of feedback when I bitched about my neighbors and their "sheet" window treatments.  Yes, it really doesn't matter to me, but it also looks like sh*t.  If you need inexpensive window coverings use sheets, but take the time to turn them into something that looks like a curtain - it's not that hard - an iron and $2 worth of adhesive would do the trick nicely.   (You bought an expensive house - invest the $2 and class up the joint will ya!?)

Anyway, I'm off topic.  It is a bit of a conundrum on facebook when I get connection requests from people  don't remember.    I feel kind of bad when that happens - I mean, shouldn't I remember everyone I've ever experienced a portion of my life with?  (I don't mean people who may have been at the same Def Leppard concert in 1987, but high school?)  I'd like to think that all people are worth remembering.

I've noticed that I'm getting requests from some of my classmates moms.  For the most part, this is fine - I remember these women as being good people who were involved and cared not only about their kids but our community as a whole.  (Hi Darlene!)  I do feel bad when I get a request from someone I don't remember at all - one such mom (and family) moved away from the beach when I was in the 7th grade.  I think I met this gals mom once at a slumber party when I was 11.  This seems like an odd connection if you ask me.  (I reached out to my gal pal and told her the story and she sent back a message that her mom was "friend requesting" all of her friends and that it was ok to ignore it.)  Since the only thing and people we have in common is her daughter I declined the connection. 

Moms are one thing, they likely won't be shocked to find out that I, the mouthy little kid, grew up to have strong opinions and isn't afraid to share.  They also might enjoy my sometimes twisted view of the world and my sense of humor.  If they don't like it, they can "silence" me by tuning out.  (I had to do that with a high school "friend" whose political and religious posts were so far away from what I consider to be compassionate and kind that it was making me mad. )   

Yesterday I noticed a friend request from the daughter of a peer of mine.  She's a good kid, but is 13.  I was conflicted because I tend to be solidly in my adult on facebook and I'm not sure that all my comments, posts, sarcasm and humor is ok for someone of that age.   I decided this morning to run it by her mom at church.  I was honest that sometimes my posts are very adult (not in the porn way) and that I wouldn't be 'toning down' the true TPgal just because of her daughter's age.  My friend knows that we sit on different sides of the fence when it comes to certain topics - the huge one being homosexuality.  In their house, they firmly believe that homosexuality is a sin prohibited explicitly in the Bible and by God.  I think that they are dead wrong, and we have had lengthy discussions about it and have come to the understanding that we will disagree, but still respect each other.   As a "churchy" girl it's hard for me to argue with someone who chooses to use the Bible as life's moral road map that they are wrong in their thinking, but I know what I know.  I can only hope that as they move through life that they get the opportunity to meet people similar to my wonderful, smart, loyal, moral, faithful and loving friends who simply happen to also be gay and that they are able to recognize that these folks have the same life's goals (be happy, be healthy, be loved) as the rest of us.    With that being one example of where our worlds are different, I wanted to give this mom a chance to opt out of my "online world" for her kid.  She surprised me with her response.  "It's up to you, I think she may learn a thing or two from you and that's ok."  So I"m going to accept the online connection with this young person and see how it goes.   If there is too much (or any) Justin Beiber adoration she will be blocked.  I will not stand for such a horrific thing.

So, off to facebook I go to accept the friend request of an impressionable girl and to rock her world with posts like the one I'm about to share:

Embarrassment is stepping out of church during the service to tinkle (because there's a baby sitting on it) and breaking a toilet. 

1 comment:

pnb_dave said...

This same dilemma has been the bane of my Facebook existence. I now very much wish I'd initially set up two Facebook profiles -- one for "Dorm Dad Dave" and one for my grown-up life. I definitely don't accept the students I teach as Facebook friends. They do NOT need that much knowledge of my personal life. I do let my dorm kids friend me; the relationship is different and since they've already seen what I look like at 6:00 in the morning, unshaven and with bed-head, I figure what the hell.