Thursday, February 03, 2011

Taking the high road

Damn it...

I was in the middle of drafting a petty, nasty blog about how my darling brother who never EVER EVER acknowledges gifts or sends anything but a Christmas card with just my last name on the envelope sent a very thoughtful and sweet baby gift for Lucy.   The nasty part wasn't about the sweet and super adorable blanket embroidered with her name that I 110% love, but about my conflict of sending a thank you note.

I was all down the moral high road of suggesting sending him the Emily Post Etiquette book or pre-printed thank you notes:

Dear __________________,
Thank you for the gift / money / thing.
I thought it was:
___  Thoughtful.
___  Cheap.
___  Strange, I don't really know what it is.
___  Um, nice.

Love, ___________________

I was even bitching about how the lack of acknowledgment of gifts has been magically transcended to his lovely children and that a whole new generation of people think nothing of accepting gifts without any kind of "hey thanks".

Having received a wonderful gift for Miss Lucy and being genuinely touched by the thoughtfulness I struggled for about 10.2 seconds before drafting my thank you note.  I was feeling superior about the fact that even though the trend has been set that you 'can' send a gift without expecting a 'thanks!' or an "I got it", I sent a note anyway.  Not only that it was written without malice or tone, just a true "I LOVE IT, thank you!".

In the middle of all this superiority bullshit I got a text from a dear friend who has not been well and it turns out she's been in the hospital since Tuesday.  She wanted to let me know that she wouldn't make it to the baby shower on Saturday and her gift would be late.   I feel like a selfish bitch for a) not checking in on her sooner and b) thinking only of my silly little world when she's struggling with a frustrating illness that wants to knock her off her feet.   Just because location and schedules don't make it easy to get together it doesn't mean she's not deep in my heart and I hope she knows I would trade my favorite shoes and fabulous purse for her health issue to magically go away.  (You may think shoes and a purse are silly, but SHE understands the value of which I write.)    As for the shower and the gift... I told her that that stuff doesn't matter. 

Knowing that the plague has been going around my house I wouldn't have popped up to visit,  because a person already in the hospital doesn't need to be exposed to the lingering effects of the poop/vomit bug.  I'm also sure the nursing staff would have beaten my head with a broom had I dropped in and they heard about the virus.  But had I known earlier I could have dropped her into my nightly discussions with the big man upstairs or at least sent her a dirty text everyday to brighten her day.   (yes, I know those things kind of conflict, but she has a good sense of humor.)

Anyway, I'm feeling like a tool and wishing I could do something for her. 

1 comment:

tp_gal said...


1) Friend feeling better, not over the hump entirely, but home! Yeah

2) My dearest bro (who doesn't acknowledge gifts) checked in to see if we got their package. It kills me that all I really had to do was send a text saying "cute blanket, thx" instead I feel the need to send a thank you note. The extended time it took for the thank you note to arrive was too much... grumble.