Passive Aggressive

In the past I have been known to be slightly passive aggressive, slightly being a nice way of softening my memory of "Bitter TP". Had I been a slave in early America I would have been the princess of the work slow down and maybe hemming the master's pants a tad bit shorter on one side than the other. Small, evil things to bring me joy in a joyless situation. Now, nothing in my life actually compares to the Slave scenario - I'm quite aware of that thank you very much.

This passive aggressive nature of mine is one that I've worked hard to put behind me. Letting it go was part of the TP transformation that has taken place in the last few years. Deciding to be a genuinely happy person was step one. Step two, taking control and so on.

TP 2.0 isn't without her faults, she still has evil, diabolical thoughts and is still quite capable of whining about the most unimportant things. In spite of my continued humanness I am making an effort to be a good and kind person.

A couple weeks ago I posted an entry about a "Lost Friend" and the impact was far wider than I expected. The friend, who I was sure wasn't hitting this site anymore, read the post and reached out. We had a meaningful discussion and found common ground and for that I am very grateful. I am embarrassed that instead of having the guts to just email or call and say "what gives" that I shared my thoughts with "the world" (here) and that it didn't really occur to me that it might be hurtful. My friend didn't say I caused injury, but if the roles were reversed, I'm pretty sure I'd take issue with a public airing vs. direct confrontation. Confrontation being a much stronger word than is necessary, but in the end it was my friend who showed greater character and reached out to me to say "what gives?" (Again, thank you for being the better friend in this situation!)

The other impact was that I've started to get emails from OTHER dear friends asking, "Oh my God, is it me!?" After reassurance I am getting asked very directly (and rightly so) "If I do offend you, please let me know directly and not on your blog."

I hereby promise to take greater care and to not conduct personal emotional business online.

My post wasn't intended to do anything but to work out what I was feeling but I see how it looked and felt differently. For that I'm sorry.

Back to regular business.

For the record, I do have a customer service bitch-fest brewing in my brain, but in light of the Haiti and friend situation it seems wrong and ill timed. I do have enough perspective not to bitch about a couch for our game room that is 6 weeks overdue when almost a million people are living in tents because their (sorry to say it but, already shitty) homes were destroyed.