It doesn't compute

We picked up the wedding wine last night and had an incident with the wine steward at Fred Meyer. (My dreams of a custom vintage bottled just for us vanished with the reality that we aren't in the position to live it up like Donald Trump.)

We've tasted lots of value priced wine and found some that we actually like and are drinking at home. Then, just as we landed on this wine, it went on sale at Fred Meyer. By on sale I mean more than $4 off per bottle, so we ordered the four cases we'll need to supplement the beer, champagne and booze we're having trucked in from Colorado. (Seriously, folks - get a hotel room and take the shuttle to and from the party!)

Fred Meyer, like most places will give you 10% off when you buy 6 or more. Actually, their posted signage says "buy 6 in the Fred Meyer travel bags and get 10% off" We calculated the price of the wine and came up with one price. Last night when we went to purchase our wine the price written on the cases was more than we anticipated. (Not more, like no food for the baby more, but it didn't add up.)

We asked to have the wine steward paged and he came out and tried to explain. His math went like this:

Fred Meyer Cost + 10% on all custom ordered cases.

Our math went like this:
Posted price - 10% - per the signage in the store.

Turns out that the Fred Meyer cost and the sale price were EXTREMELY close together and thus the difference between +10% and -10% was noticeable. We asked where the custom order pricing information was posted (as it wasn't explained when we ordered it) and the WS got irritated with us.

So then we asked, what do we have to do to get the posted price for the wine? His solution was to unbox the wine, put them in the cloth 6 pack carriers and purchase them that way. So, for less money we didn't get the boxes from the winery (which were free) but got the custom made cloth bags (which Fred Meyer paid for.) Strange.

We unboxed the wine, used eight of the wine carriers and got our discount. We opted NOT to ask a clerk at the check out for boxes instead went to the liquor store and picked up new boxes.

We may use the wine carrier bags as party favors for the wedding.

I would order wine again from Fred Meyer as the cost +10% pricing is reasonable - but I would check on the price before ordering. Had we known this was the scenario we would have just pulled the wine off the shelf.

it's all about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finished assembling the wedding invitations Sunday, while we watched a painful movie about a marriage. It might not have been the best karma to throw onto the invites, but I'm hopeful that we can take it as a lesson in what NOT to do. (Revolutionary Road - KateWinslet & Leo DiCaprio) I think a key message is don't disclose a deep dark indiscretion like "I've always hated you" or "I've been sleeping with your mother" 10 minutes before dinner guests arrive.

We'll mail the invitations after the holiday and there will be no turning back at that point. Actually, since we've paid the caterer for the Baron of beef, salmon and chicken - so there's no turning back now. Neither of us want to, but it is a big milestone to drop the invitations in the mail. They are packaged up all nice and neat. Seeing them on the shelf brings me joy.

Jason & I have been talking quite a bit about marriage and our chances for long term success. We agree that any marriage that implodes (see Jon & Kate, Britney Spears & Kevin whatshisname) is tragic, but we shouldn't fear failure, but seek a continual flow of communication and respect. (are you gagging yet?) I don't think the time we spend talking about how we'll keep this little union of ours on track is wasted. The rules of engagement have come in handy during our couple moments of aggravation - his knowing that I need a moment to form the correct words has been very beneficial. I do at times say the wrong thing and need to step back to get to the root of my point - especially when frustrated or feeling unsteady. We are (maybe blindly) optimistic that ours is the marriage that will be sustainable until we are ancient, old and saggy - but that optimism feels great. I'm thankful that there aren't any nagging thoughts of "ooh, are you SURE this is the right move?"

But - back to the point. Things are on track and I'm spending way more time in "wedding mode" than I thought that I would. Some of this is due to the first of the serious and official pre-event events. A small, but lovely soiree in the back yard of a dear friend. We are honored and humbled that folks want to celebrate our good luck and happiness at finding each other.

I know there's been lots of other news to comment on: have you heard that Michael Jackson died, or that yelling guy who pitches the ShamWow!? Bernie Madoff got 150 years in prison - good for him. Enjoy the chipped "beef" on toast - you dream stealing mof0!

iSaturday

So, here we are again at the Apple Store in Bellevue - so it must be Saturday.

We ran into Janie & Mr. Janie again and we're waiting for Jason's appointment with the Geniuses (Geni?) to look at his wifi.  I think it is a weak attempt to claim the phone is broken so he can get the fancy NEW iPhone.  I wouldn't EVER tell him that to his face, because I'm nice and sweet.  (so he thinks.)

We will eventually make our way to the land of women so I can get my icky toes re-painted.  I'm trying not to be whiny about hanging out in the store considering he is going to have to entertain himself for more than an hour while I undergo maintenance.

It's too bad that there's no "spas" in walking distance of my hotel in San Jose.  That would be the perfect time to pamper the Terri.  

oh well.... we've moved from 4th to 3rd on the list, which means our (oooh, now we're #2!) 11:50 am appointment is right on time.  Too bad we got here at 10:30!

Oh my, how rude!

We got a letter from Macy's the other day that signals the end of all humanity. Inside were twenty 20% off coupons for any item on our registry. The attached letter suggested that we hand out the coupons to our friends and family so they could "enjoy" the savings.

While I appreciate the option to save any money on the items on our registry, I will not be handing out coupons. Nothing says 'greedy' like "hey, here's a coupon for the gift you're now feeling obligated to buy me!"

Hey Macy's – brides aren't supposed to solicit for gifts! Registering is something we do to give folks an idea of what we would like should they CHOOSE to give a gift. We aren't technically supposed to even mention where we are registered unless we are directly asked. Putting the links to the online registries on our website was ok'd by Martha Stewart, the new Emily Post and the Wedding Channel, but coupons!? Not OK!

I may, if I feel flush this weekend review the registry for any limited availability items that we absolutely love and if the coupon is advantageous I may end up gifting myself – but frankly, I doubt it will happen.

Macy's does an "amazing" job of sending an email every day regarding the registry – letting us know what's on sale, what sale events are happening in the store and other helpful information. They are so consistent that I had to set up a rule in my email to capture and quarantine their messages. After the 19^th, I can unsubscribe but until then for every 19 messages that I could care less about there's one that is important and I don't want to miss it.

I will miss the coupon distribution...sorry Macy's - this bride isn't rude.

The I Do To Do's

S

I'm sitting in my hotel room ALONE (because I’m not the governor of anything) I made a list of all the little things that need to get done before the wedding.

These items are floating in my head and I think I have them under control, but the repressed project manager inside has decided it is better to get them on paper so that something important (or not important) doesn’t fall through the cracks.

I didn’t think the list was all that big – finish the favors, mail the invites, final number to the caterer… but alas as I started to dig into it the list grew from those three items to 45… 45! Of course, some things are optional or in the “If I had all the time in the world” category, but others like a welcome kit for the folks who are staying at the hotel with us is something I really want to do and haven’t put much thought into. I’m thinking once the invitations go out and we get a better sense of how many are staying the scope of that “to do” will be clearer. I’ve been to weddings where the B&G have left a gift bag with water, light snacks and information about the area and really appreciated it.

I put things on the list that are handled, but haven’t happened yet. For example, my first dress fitting is on the list but it is scheduled (for July 8^th) so there’s not much “to do” there but show up with the correct undergarments and shoes.

The “mail the invitations” list is a bit more complicated, I started to assemble the invitations and it took two hours to get through the first page (of 3 ½) of names. Normally with “arts & crafts” I’m quick, but these are special, so I was slow and methodical. It will be a shame to put them in the mail, I don’t like the idea of non-wedding mail touching my pretty invitations. (OH MY GOLLY.. WHO AM I?????????)

While the list is large, thankfully there isn’t anything there that makes me want to throw up. Well, that’s not entirely true. It has become clear that I am the bride who will provide the wedding party a printout of where to be and when. It might be as simple as a little map to the “manor” and the totally optional Sunday family thing. Lucky me, I hired a wedding coordinator who gets to be the bridezilla by proxy. I get to stand around and make jokes while Melissa (my paid henchman) gives orders …oops, I mean “direction.”

One thing that is on my list that I think it super important, is to plan a post honeymoon event for Jason and I so that we don’t get back from our Canadian journey and look at each other and say “now what?” Truth be told, we’ll be busy doing the name change thing – bank accounts, credit cards, passports… that should keep me busy.

Meanwhile, we’ve got 86 days to get the to do’s completed so we can do the I do’s. Can’t wait!

Oh how I love corporate newsletters

Golly, the news here (or anywhere) couldn’t be more exciting!

SLC Cheesecake Contest!
The Salt Lake Billing team held a cheesecake baking contest on June 18th, 2008, with three entrants. Michelle H**** was the winner, with her Citrus Cheesecake. Congratulations Michelle!

Seriously, Congratulations Michelle!

Who has the power?

I guess it is time to confess that I purchased the new 3GS iPhone. It wasn’t a planned purchase, but one we had talked about. We found ourselves at the mall Sunday with time to spare and there were only four people in line outside the Apple store. Jason and I jumped in line to buy a new phone.

I can tell the new phone is faster, my random web searches for useless information (such as ‘find the nearest X’ goes much quicker than before. The space for stuff is also greatly improved, I’m very happy with my 6736 songs and 500 some pictures. It is a sleeker, more jazzed up version of the original phone that I loved from day one.

The phone has been mine for three days now, and already I’ve had an issue. The power charger that lives in my travel bag is not compatible with the new phone. How terribly sad to discover this while in San Jose. I am now recharging the phone at work using a borrowed cable and will do it again tomorrow. I had a moment of panic when I plugged the phone in last night and the little message popped up “Charging is not possible with this device” or “You’re going to have no phone for the next three days, bwahahahaha! Love, Apple”

Jason and I had to have our nightly phone call on *gasp* the land line. It was horrid, I was trapped near the wall and couldn’t roam around the room while we talked.

With a full charge and the knowledge that I can’t recharge until tomorrow I’ll be fine. I’ll have to skip my hours of solitaire or skeetball that I like to play on the phone, but I suppose opening my book will be the entertainment I enjoy for the next few days.

Sunshine comes at a price

I ate lunch outside today in the sunny 83 degree heat.  It is a nice thing to sit in the shade and eat my cafeteria lunch, but it's not as good as being at home and having lunch with Jason and his grumpy co-worker Bob.

 

Part of my issue is that I'm a bit anti-social and I haven't warmed up to the FTE's (full time employees) here.  They are nice people, but since I'm a consultant there is risk in getting to know me.  Plus, sometimes I'd rather eat and catch up on the news, facebook or whatever entertainment my iPhone offers for the day.  Today it was an article on Ed McMahaon and the complex reasons behind why the chief medical guy for the department of corrections resigned over executions.  (I don't quite understand how that slips by you, but I will admit i didn't read the article too closely.)

 

So, I'm in the sun but wishing I was home.  Today is a long day with the alarm going off at 4:00 am and my flight at 6:25 a.m.  we have a team meeting at 5pm until 7pm which means I won't hit the hotel until at least 7:30.  Blar.

 

At least the day goes by fast. 

--
Terri

Jon & Kate.... ooh the hate

Jon & Kate....

Oh golly, to tune in or not tune in - that is the question on the table today.

Clearly, Kate is a nut job who is too clean and rigid - how she deals with 8 kids is facinating enough for a tv show --- TLC , but still.

Jon is a bit affable and prone to bad decisions.

TLC is promoting the fact that tonight they'll make an announcement that will affect all their lives. Is it divorce?

Is it any of our business?

Can I stop myself from watching? (Maybe) But, will that stop me from reading about it on the Internet tomorrow? (No.)

Kluttzy....

DAMN IT!


We just finished dinner, washing the dishes and who breaks a glass and bleeds on the carpet!?

ME. grrrrrr

My finger is fine; no emergency room is needed, but I feel like a dumb ass! Jason is now vacuuming the kitchen to get up the remnants of his lovely winery collected glass that I just killed with my "bull in the china shop" spirit. So much for romance...

stolen photo

Found this on facebook... don't know who owns the rights, so I'm stating openly that I don't. The item is a rubber vagina and the note says "Dear Nick, this was in our mailbox. Gross! - Mom"

Facebook makes me laugh and so does Nick.

Newest Addition to the Fictionary

Cravy - that uncooth drooling that occurs when really good gravy is set on the table. You know you should only have a tablespoon, but you want at least half a cup. "Must. Share. With. Others."

Alley-Oomph - Similar to Alley Oop, which is an the description for an awesome physical feat like a half court shot or an excellent toss of a ball of paper into a trash bin. Alley-Oomph is where you attempt to toss something, but alas it is far heavier than you think and you end up dropping it at your feet, or worse, dropping it at your feet while throwing your back out.


PS - I was told by our Pastor that Rico shared many of the Fictionary words with the gentlemen who went on the recent "Men's retreat." Oh Dear God.... he shared with them Necrolepsy? Now they, like you, will know that I am wrong on many many levels.

Loss of Dignity - 20 years to life

Oh my... you kill one B rated actress and all of a sudden you are the butt of many a joke.


see more Celeb Look-A-Likes

New Topic - still shopping

Indeed, this is ANOTHER shopping story during a week of important news overseas. The "new" Iranian leader apparently won the election in a landslide victory of 65% of the vote - but for some reason half the people in the country are pissed. That would be a scary place to be these days. I'd be afraid of being TOO vocal and end up "dying of natural causes" in some dark back room at the hands of a supporter of the countries leadership. (maybe I watch too many 007 movies...)

So, we're at Target yesterday (why I love Target and loathe Walmart is beyond me... same concept - different execution I guess) and Jason picked up two CD's. Yes, actual jewel cases and everything. We checked out and like normal I wasn't paying attention. (I was actually mentally giving it to the woman in front of us who took the two things out of her cart, paid for them and left the cart in the narrow space between the checkout stands. Come on, you rolled it up here, roll it the next 15 feet to the cart parking lot.)

Back to the point, we got to the parking lot and Jason was looking at the receipt and says "oh, he only charged me for one CD."

We stopped, looked at the receipt, looked at each other and then had to decide what to do. I'll be perfectly honest and admit that it was a decision. Of course, we turned and walked back in and paid for the other CD - but had we already crossed the street and were in our car, likely returning to pay would not have happened.

That split second of indecision is something I'm not proud of. I wish I had the moral fiber to have instantly spun and walked back in the store. I'm pretty sure I'm not a bad person and don't need to go to confession because I considered walking away with a free cd.

Oh well, honesty won out and I get to be a "good" person for a while. At least until I unfairly judge someone for being themselves.

So, it's book group night and I'm no where near done with my book so I need to get to reading.... er work. (See, no longer a good person - now I'm a slacker.)

Excuse Me!?

This kind response was left to my last post:

Anonymous said...

I will not speculate on the reason(s) they seemed (insert word of your choice here i.e. shocked/surprised/annoyed/confused)but I think this is not a lesson in how you were judged but more a lesson on how you are judging them; "...we're in Nowhereville, Indiana population 1 Walmart..."

And what were you thinking when he offered you flavors? Doesn't sound like your mind was saying, "It's nice that they have a variety of flavors for me to choose from."

Maybe next time you can simply inform her that you're from Somewhereville that has a coffee house that knows what they're doing.

I have a couple retorts.

1) Feel free to chastise me on any point at any time. I try to comment on humorous events in my life and I know that my tone and my sarcasm can every once in a while hit a nerve or be taken in a way that is unintended. HOWEVER - have the guts to leave your name. Hiding behind the veil of "anonymous" is silly.

2) I myself am from a Nowhereville, USA kind of place. Little industry, few jobs and the best people on earth. I'm sure that "Nowhereville, Indiana" has a similar story. I wasn't commenting on the character of the gals behind the counter, but the absurdity that McDonalds is putting themselves out there as THE coffee place to go and yet a coffee flavored coffee was a new concept. (Honestly, she wasn't "offering me choices, she and the coffee maker gal both acted like I was crazy to order my coffee without flavor. Much in the same way they might have reacted had I ordered a Big Mac but without the meat, or a Pizza without the crust.

3) Customer service encounters are a common theme here - if you're offended, or think I'm not writing about important topics - find somewhere else to read. I've already established that this blog is trite and unimportant. I am a nobody with something to say and a free outlet to say it. I'm honored that anyone besides my mom reads this. I'm honored that my mom reads it too, but she kind of has to. (Hi Mom!) I'm honored that you read (or use to read) it - whoever you are "Anonymous."

4) You're not the first person to leave a biting "anonymous" comment. Someone misunderstood my bitching about the possible extra taxes on my severance and told me to quit whining and pay what I owe. I let that one slide because it was clear that I must have not presented my position clear enough to be understood. I will pay whatever taxes are due, but don't tax ME more on the same type of income that a former employee from any other company would be asked to pay. (I guess I didn't let it go.)

5) I'll take some ownership in not presenting my story very well, I ran out of time before a meeting with our pastor. But...I have never promised excellent or even clear writing. I'm a top of brain person, I try to edit for understanding - but in the end what you get is what you get.

6) I'm hoping no hopping (why can I not get that straight in my head - one P is to Hope and two P's are to Hop - right - Dave?) off my soapbox and back into my seriously unimportant day - and if I'm lucky something funny will happen and I can relay it here.

McLatte with a side of judgement

During our journey through Indiana we had to make some choices that we normally wouldn't. I'm a Seattle gal who enjoys the process and flavor of a Starbucks experience. Sometimes I get tea, sometimes coffee, sometimes a latte. It is a pick me up that I have worked into my budget.

I know there are lots of independent coffee shops and if there was an Uptown Espresso in the burbs I would send them a lot more of my business. Cafe Ladro... not for me.

Back to my point, we're in Nowhereville, Indiana population 1 Walmart and I'm jonesing for a coffee. I mean, badly in need. We had been in the car for hours and my energy was on the floor. We searched for any espresso places and found nothing. Alas, the kicky sign on the Red and Yellow facade of the McDonalds called to me. "We Have Coffee!"

I walked up to the counter and this is what happened:


Clerk 1: Welcome to McDonalds, can I help you?
ME: Yes, I would like a medium Latte with 2 splendas please.
Clerk 1: (looking down at the terminal) medium latte , two splendas
ME: and a cheeseburger
Clerk 1: hold it hold it, we're not done with the drink, what flavor would you like?
Me: (not understanding the question) um, coffee?
Clerk 1: no, no, no, we got vanilla, hazelnut, mocha and sugarfree vanilla, what flavor do you want?
Me: Oh, none, just a latte.
Clerk 1: (clearly thinking I"m crazy) Well, ok if you don't want any flavor
I pay and then step back

Clerk 2: (At the latte machine looking at the board, irritated) What flavor is this, you didn't put in a flavor!
Clerk 1: (calling loudly over her shoulder) She didn't want no flavor
Clerk 2: No flavor.... (eyes rolling) well alright

In the end, I got my strange coffee with no extra flavor, but I felt a bit judged...

Life Insurance

I had life insurance as an employee of the bank. As an independent consultant I'm on my own for this coverage. There is a tiny policy that would cover my elaborate and needlessly lavish funeral. The funeral would need to be special to help you with your unbearable pain. Right?

Anyway - I am in the process of purchasing a policy that will set Jason up should I be gone - not too much though, I don't want to give him any incentive to "off" me should he finally figure out that I'm not as cute or as funny as he thinks I am.

I'm going with a 20 year policy - which means the annual rate is fixed for the next 20 years. It's a reasonable rate, but at year 21 - if I want to continue the policy is jumps in price to almost $9,000 a year. I guess if you knew at 61 that your days were numbered it would be worth it... but yikes!

It feels strange to plan for an event that no one would want to see happen and still seems 100% impossible to me - but these are the grown up things we do.

we also ran into

In addition to the funny and awkward encounter with the Architect (we live in the same general area, I'm surprised that it actually hasn't happened before) Jason and I ran into Janie and her husband John at the mall yesterday.

So, while Jason and I were purchasing his wedding gift from me the sales lady was trying to compete with the quick 15 minute catch up between Janie and myself. It's funny how old friends can do the rapid fire talking in half sentences and completely get up to speed on everything that's going on.

We all had a big laugh about running into whatshisface. Last night we were at the 40th birthday party for a college chum, and had a nice time. The only bummer was missing the (what I hear is) super fun school auction for Becky's son. It's a private school so they don't have hangups about wine with dinner. Sounds like a smart way to get the pocketbooks open.

I'm excited about the wedding gift for Jason - a fabulous watch. We picked it up yesterday, but he doesn't get it just yet. We still have 97 days to go - so I've got it hidden in the same place as my veil, wedding shoes and (eek) special wedding undergarments. I am somewhat looking for the wedding to be over to gain back some closet space. Somewhat... I'm totally enjoying the anticipation.

The encounter...

Jason and I ran into THE architect at Target this morning. We didn't speak but Jason seemed to be cruising the aisles a lot slower than normal. Perhaps he was hoping for a faceoff or enjoying my state of uncomfortableness.

When we returned to our car the Architect was getting into his and there was an awkward wave and we were off.

I feel ill.

- Terri

Frequent flyer jerk-offs

Dear Alaska elite flyer,

Sir, it is obvious that you fly more frequently than the rest of us. Your 'elite' status on this airline was hard earned by logging thousands of air miles. The airline appreciates your business and offers you lots of perks such as upgrades, discounts and early
boarding for flights.

To be honest I don't begrudge your premium seat assignments or your guaranteed overhead storage for your too big carry on. You earned it.

However! Your early boarding privileges end the moment they start to board the rest of us on the flight. If you are late to the gate wait your damn turn.

Pushing through the crowd of people patiently waiting to board yelling "I'm MVP" makes you look like the ass you are.

Remember this jerk face: Show up on time or don't cut the line!!!

Thank you for your understanding.

- Terri