Mulling

The wedding reception last night was nice. The bride was very pretty and the groom beaming. It's an amazing thing to be in a room filled with people who are delighted to brave a dark night (and no parking) to celebrate your happiness. Congratulations! I hope they will be as happy as I find myself.

On a completely different note, I've been thinking a lot about a person that I use to be very close to, and with whom conversation hasn't been easy of late. I realize that friendships change and the flow of our lives cause interests and priorities to shift but this one makes me sad. My attempts to reach out have been sort of fruitful but there has been a lack of genuine interaction. I guess that's ok and I wish my friend nothing but happiness and contentment.

During church this morning Pastor K spoke about wine and weddings (and that whole turning water into wine story) but opened it with his interaction with a young couple who aren't members of "our" church but had heard of K and his amazing spirit. He agreed to officiate at their wedding if they would come and do the pre-marital events. (We did it and thought it was great.) Well, time was running short and he couldn't make contact with the bride and after some failed attempts sent a terse email saying "let me know if the wedding is off or you don't need my services." He admits he was irritated and then horrified when the bride replied that the wedding was off because her groom was killed while serving overseas. WHOA.

I'm filled with sadness for this person whom I've never met and hope she's surrounded by people who can provide the right kind of comfort. I don't know what that might look like, but hope she has it.

Pastor K spoke about what a jerk he felt like and what he did to follow up with the gal. The message for us (or what I took away) is that you really don't know what is going on in someone else's world, and we can't always assume that our view of things is reality. I don't think its unfair to assume that you might think these kids were flaky and unconcerned for the busy schedule of this clergyman that they didn't know. The idea that one of the bridal party had died just wouldn't come to mind.

Obviously, we can't walk around all the time thinking, wow I should be nice to that cranky person because maybe their favorite cat died today... but I know I can be better about cutting people SOME slack. I can try to land on a compassionate note before I jump off assuming the worst.

As for my friend, I'm sure I own some of the distance between us. I mean I did change my life and am not 100% accessible like I was when I was single and alone. However, I don't believe I did anything "wrong" nor do I feel like I need to apologize for the happy direction my life went. Maybe Bitter TP was more fun for this person? (Nah... I've got it on good authority that Bitter TP was damned hard to love.) Maybe there's stuff going on in my friend's world that is easier not to share. I guess all I can do is keep reaching out from time to time and hope we reconnect on a real level again.

To end on a funny note, Joan, the wedding coordinator at the church pulled me aside this morning and said that she found our check that we had written for the pastoral services (4 months later) and wanted to see if it was ok to cash it. Eek.. of course, but my first question was "Are we really married?" Jas' was, "Has Pastor K been thinking all this time that we stiffed him?"

So, yes, we are actually married and Pastor K was only mildly thinking we hadn't paid... NICE.