Ode to dust catchers

Dear Strange Donkey Figurine,

I'm sorry I never loved you.

I'm sorry you were forgotten on a window ledge in our kitchen.

I'm also sorry you were dropped (not by me) and that your front left leg was severed from your odd soapstone body.

This lack of love you have endured is no excuse. I command you to tell us where your leg went. It is not on the floor, it is not under the stove, it is not in the garbage disposal. Where is it!?

Your failure to identify the location of your severed leg has caused my life partner to spend the last half an hour on the floor with a flashlight.

We are exploring an alternate universe (ala LOST) scenario, or that it vaporized on contact. I think you are hiding it.

Tell us where it is or I will snap off your tiny soapstone head!

TP