Dear Other Driver,
You probably are not aware of this, but you aren't the only car on the road. It is important to use your mirrors before you change lanes. I know it's hard to spot the bright blue car that I drive and I shouldn't be where you want to go, but it's possible that maybe you can wait until I have moved before you merge.
Secondly, and I'm so sorry to be picky but it would be awesome if you didn't tailgate on the freeway. You may think I'm holding you up by only going 10 miles over the limit but sir, please back off or go around. Your giant SUV lights blinding me from behind don't intimidate but do make me want to tighten my seatbelt and hit the brakes. There are a lot of us trying to get to point b and we're in it together so be nice.
Finally, when I slow down in a parking lot it is NOT an invitation to zip around me at high speeds, I am the kind of person who lets pedestrians cross. You should know that you almost killed a small child yesterday and I think his mom shat herself a little as you whizzed around me last night.
I think it's important that you know that you suck.