Strange

I had a very pleasant dinner last night with some friends I haven't seen since last spring. We had lots of catching up to do, and spent the first hour and a half getting updated on their work, their fabulous home remodel, the health of a sister and other things. We made dinner, went down stairs to eat, and flipped on a movie.

I realized in the car on the way home that they didn't ask me a single question about what has been going on with me during all this time. I'm pretty sure they aren't readers of this informative online journal, so I'm a little perplexed.

To compound my confusement (oh it will be a word one day!) I sent out a pre-surgical update yesterday afternoon. I referred to it as the procedure and detailed the three week recovery schedule. I dropped P's email onto it, in case she tries to make contact during the next month. I sort of expected her to ask about it, considering we've never talked about this path I'm on.

On one hand it was NICE for dinner not to be the TP gal show. This past week has been ALL ME ALL THE TIME. I'm as egocentric as the next gal, but could I be just a little bit less in the spotlight? One of my favorite co-workers had a really hard week (his mom's health took a dramatic turn and she passed away Thursday) and that really puts some perspective on my week. On the other hand, it was really bizarre to have 6 months of catching up to be wholly focused on them. I know that I could have just turned the conversation to ME but I sort of thought it might wind there for a bit without my direction.

Part of my issue is that for some crazy reason I am more comfortable helping out others than I am accepting assistance. I really don't want to be a bother. I've always been this way. In college I didn't want to bother my one friend with a car to take me to the dentist so I walked three miles in freezing rain (up hill - both ways) instead of asking him to take 10 minutes out of his life. What an ass. (me, not him) I have NO issue asking for help if the answer is no that I have other options. If I need help - I'm likely to not ask. How jacked up is that? I know what you're thinking -- In college I should have picked better (richer) friends, but these things can't be helped. It was a learning experience. Now all my friends are picked based on the financial benefit to me - as it should be.

Seriously, I'm so grateful for the support that I've been getting that I'm out of my element. Maybe it's because I feel vulnerable. (Geez, where's a therapist when you need one?)

Alright.... enough! Mom and Dad called yesterday so say they were coming early. On one hand yeah!! On the other, crap, now I have one less day to get my home in order before the invasion. So I gotta run.

I'll post again Sunday night... I'm confident that I'll have lots of pent up energy and anxiety to share with the world.

Have a great Saturday!