Why am I awake?

5:05 am on a Sunday morning and here I am wide awake. I had a terrible dream that the worst possible thing happened to Jason and I woke up and started to think about the reality of what would happen if it were true.

Morbid. But, I suppose as people who are in the process of merging their lives the business of the location mortgage payments and cable bills are things to talk about.

Anyway, I'm thankful for a wonderful day yesterday with my parents. We had a nice lunch at a Brewery in Sunnyside and later, while Jason took a break from setting up a wireless network for Ma and Pa TP gal, we toured a couple local wineries.

It was hotter than all get out (106) but we managed it ok. Jason was eager to take another dip in the pool last night. The pool here is tiny but effective in the bring your body temp down to a human level.

Mom and I had a difficult conversation about the realities of certain inevitable future events and I think we both were relieved to be able to discuss it. (I know...vague). I will say that I don't think it's terrible advice to spend time with your loved ones.

Similarly, I think it's time to set the petty bullshit aside if you're harboring "hurt and anger". Life is too short. While getting to know Jason's big family was overwhelming at first (...so Aunt M was a nun and then wasn't. Got married but the moved back into the convent...or was that Aunt B?) it has shown me that the silly things my family does is, well, normal. Oh how I wished I knew that when I was 15.

Maybe there will always be someone who is pissed and hurt about something that is not entirely clear. I guess my hope (and vow) is to let it not be me.

Golly, deep thought for such an early hour.

On a different note, I do love hotel blackout curtains. It's getting light outside but is still nice and dark in our room. Maybe I'll set the phone down and try to catch some more z's.

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