Flack from the Salad Bar Lady

So, it's been a little over 5 months since my surgery and I've lost 93 pounds, I'm looking good, working out and obviously eating less.

Most of my work peeps know that I've been "dieting" and when or if anyone asks I will quietly share about the surgery. I haven't shared my story with the creepy salad bar lady and I need to take her out back and run her through the Industrial Shredder By Enron(tm) because she ALWAYS comments on the mall portions of my food.

This is the same girl who yelled across the lunch area for me to "GET AWAY FROM THE COOKIES, YOU'RE ON A DIET!!!" I was only looking at the prepackaged salads (TPgal adds defensively and if I want to eat a cookie, I'm going to eat a damned cookie!!!)

The other day she topped off herself with a dash of RUDE when I went through the salad bar and took (only) cucumbers and some dressing as a side to my (from home) Chili. "Is that all you're going to eat!? You're going to waist away to NOTHING." Trust me this wasn't said in an encouraging, or funny way. Granted she sees people come all day and fill the salad bar boxes to capacity - 2 -3 pounds worth of salad and I "load" up in the .25 or .50 category but WHO CARES?

It was sad and I got fired for it, but I had to do it. I took a set of tongs from the salad bar, reached down her throat, pulled out her kidney and then stabbed it with the heal of my shoe. I did put it back, but I didn't take the time to do sutures so it may not actually be functioning.

Seriously, her job sucks and I would hate to sit down in that windowless room all day, but damn... figure out something else to say to people!