Sorry....life taking over

I was informed this afternoon that the 'people' are waiting for a new blog entry.

I spent the evening yesterday with my friend Ali who is about to leave the NW on a sailboat with her man Captain Tiz. They are taking a year and heading around the world - first to the San Juans for a practice run and then to Mexico. They want to eventually end up in the Mediterranean and spend time in Europe.

After months of work on the boat, she's ready to go. They are leaving next week and Ali invited her 'girls' over for a night of beverages, games and general merriment. I was invited to sleep over, which I did. The little guest berth was quite comfortable and I can see where if you can stand wearing the same clothes day after day after day that boat life could be really appealing.

The "guest room" can sleep two, but you would have to be really friendly and not at all claustrophobic. I've been invited to head down in the spring to Mexico but we'll see what the vacation plans for next year brings.

Right now, I'm focused on work (NOT), my birthday event, a hoped for 'business trip' in September, a weekend in Long Beach with J (fun!) and then that little 21 day European thing. I'm trying to talk J into being the guest blogger while I'm away. He might be up for it. I wouldn't want you to have to endure 22 days of no updates.

Looking ahead, I'm into November with plans already. How can that be? I'm just not that popular and yet….NOVEMBER!? There are a couple weekends scattered throughout that aren't spoken for, but I may guard them with my life.

Labor day weekend is open and I may subject J to a road trip to "meet the parents" but don’t tell him. I probably should ask him first. (Again, maybe I don't understand this whole Internet thing.) So Mom… I'm not talking about coming over for the weekend. Maybe we can do the Roslyn thing on Saturday or Sunday. I'll talk to J and then give you a call. If it doesn't work out, prepare yourself that it may be November before there's an actual face to face meeting.

Ali suggested that we do a cross parent meeting. I'm all - like why!? She gave me some song and dance about apples and trees, and I'm thinking "I KNOW", which is why the cross parent meeting thing seems scary. What if they take one look at my people and decide I'm not worthy of their little boy? (My people are wonderful…but we are afflicted with a terrible problem of sounding like idiots when trying to make a good impression.)

Drat… my boss just vetoed my conference request for September. It would have been really fun too. Oh well; I'll just have to call in sick that week and pretend I'm in Arizona.

Crap…. Fire drill. That's twice this week. Got to go.

Warning: Whine & Self-Pity Below

Before I get started let me just say for the record that in the scope of things, the thing I'm about to whine about is nothing. But I'm not going to let a little thing like perspective and reason hold me back. I mean, like why start now?
____________________

Less than four weeks ago J didn't exist in my world. He was nothing more than an idea of something good that might come to me if I was really lucky. Now that he's here, I'm totally into it.

He's out of town next weekend on a trip planned before I existed in his world. This is fine, it does save him from having to meet the entire tp gal posse at the 40th birthday event. You people are amazing and I love you, but to drop him into our world without proper protection might be daunting.

I had hopes that J and I might be able to spend the evening together before he left and asked for the Itinerary. Turns out... it blows. He's leaving a day before I thought he was, and my schedule that week is packed. WHINE WHINE WHINE. Plus he gets back two days later than I thought. waaa

I really do hope he has a great time. I know that this bitching is totally unwarranted and unfair considering I'm leaving him in the dust for 21 days to travel around Greece. Logic doesn't stop the whine. Never has, never will.

Oh grow up tp.... it's 6 days. 6 days in which you will be planning for and throwing a super fun event, recovering from same event and then enjoying a busy day at your place of employment. What is there to whine about?

NOTHING... GET OVER IT AND GROW UP!

We Want Details

Hey TP gal... it's been days and days since you've blogged about that new man in your life. What's going on? Did you break up? Give us details!!!!


Here's the only thing you need to know:

BLISS

Parking: Free / Car Wash: $80

My guess is, this guy wasn't too happy when he came back to his car. The birds seemed to enjoy sitting on the light post that was hanging over the right side of his car.

A new addition...warning: TMI

The undergarment selections from last week were mostly a bust. (no pun intended) Some were laughably bad.

Today, I made better selections and am quite happy to report that the grannie panties have some competition. I will be returning one very pretty on the hanger bra as it fit rather strangely and I don't think "strange" is what you're going for when you take off your shirt. Conceptually it was great, lacy black trim with a little blue and white cup - but the fit was bizarre.

Without too many details (or heaven help us photos) I did pick up two very fun (and by fun I mean hubba hubba) items. We'll see (me and not 99% of you) if I can pull them off...er bad choice of words, can wear them in all seriousness. So far, those red shoes are about as "sexy" as I've ever gotten. I don't intend to depart too far from my kicky preppy style, but some sass can't be a bad thing. (Can a woman at 39 years and 352 days be "kicky" and "preppy"?)

I also picked up something to replace the 12 sizes too big pj's. I suppose pj's that fall off when you stand up have their place in the world, but if everyone is busy laughing what's the point of being without pjs?

"Friends" who hate you...

Remember this story? tp gal and friends were supposed to go camping, and the weather turned south so she didn't go, and there was a lot of drama and the friendship died?

Well, the folks who withdrew their friendship have started attending my church again. It's been a couple years and yet it is kind of hard to see them.

Last weekend there wasn't a polite hello or even a friendly wave. I was told that they had to run to a sporting event. Yesterday, I decided that I was going to be the bigger person and walked over to say hello.

It was awkward and cold to say the least. I find it hurtful that after all this time I'm still somehow to blame and that in spite of my sincere efforts to be a good decent person that I'm the villain. The only good news is that for the first time Rico and Mrs. Rico saw the icy treatment in person. I don't think Rico believed me before.

I know that I have plenty of friends who appreciate me and who are willing to work things out if there are misunderstandings or breaches of etiquette. I don't 'need' friends like these, but I hope you can understand that it is a blow to the heart to have people you care for turn on you.

The other bright spot in my silly little story is that now that I made the effort to say hello, I never EVER have to do it again. They can go about their angry, unforgiving business and I'm going to be unconcerned.

hopeful or naive?

After a fun day at the races, J's people and I split off with them going to a Wii Fit Olympics competition party and me to Christine's for a mix and mingle with a lovely band, 200 kids, friends from book group, PR people, and that actor who played the chief of staff on ER (Dr. Anspaugh - if you really must know.)

During the course of the evening I was asked about 40 times how my summer was going. My answer ranged from "pretty good" to "outstanding" depending on my desire to not take over all conversations. Sometimes the "all about me" thing does get old and an answer of 'outstanding' really is a focus on me type answer.

At one point I was talking with a few ladies and I shared the newly dating news, which my friend Deborah was super excited about. Although one of the other ladies freaked me out a little bit with her "expert" dating advice.

"Just enjoy it for what it is, don't get too involved, and then when it's over, move on."

Uh... wow! Was she drinking Bitters? I really thought that perspective was sad and jaded. She may think me a fool to put my whole heart and soul into what's happening in my world right now, but I really think that holding back will get me nowhere. It helps that I feel like I'm in a safe place with J. Maybe it is the "don't get too involved" thing that makes men in this woman's world move on.

Is it possible that I skipped a whole decade of agony dating and am getting to fast forward into something mature without the bull-shit? You know me, so you know I don't mean mature as in unfun and old.

To wrap up... I guess my thoughts are that I'm grateful that I'm not a member of the bitter party of women who think men are jerks. I'm going to to commit to this process and if it results in my getting smashed to bits and you have to come over and pick me up off the floor... so be it. I think he's worth the risk.

Trying New Things...

(Snoqualmie Falls - taken last weekend.)


So, last night at about 10:30 J talked me into something I've never done before. I'm a little nervous, but I will willingly try it - at least once.

(are you afraid yet?)

Next weekend we are going to do... SeaFair.


I have lived in the Seattle area since December of 1990 and have NEVER done SeaFair activities. I always manage to get the hell out of dodge, or quietly hole up in my little world and ignore it. I hear it can be fun and since I'm assured that I don't have to do any driving there's no reason not to participate. We won't be doing the drunken boat activities, but moving into a large crowd to watch the Blue Angels - it will be fun.

Plus... at this stage of dating, he could pretty much invite me to a museum devoted to orange postage stamps and I would likely go. I'm not proud, I will admit that I'm enjoying every dang minute we spend together.

I'm meeting him later this morning for breakfast and then we're off to the races - literally. I haven't been to Emerald Downs since I worked at "the" hotel *shiver* and that was a private event put on by the company that provides pre-made food for hotels and restaurants. It was "yummy". Tomorrow we're off for a day of driving across the region - Issaquah to Ballard to Bellevue to Issaquah. So much for gas conservation.

I am doing something today that may be a little forward considering J and I have only been seeing each other for TWO WEEKS. (oh my...I feel like he's been part of my world for much much longer.) I'm um... taking him better soap for his guest bathroom (the one I use.) He's got some stinky lavender berry bull-shit happening and I HATE IT. My hands stink when I finish up, and I'm the kind of gal who does wash her hands after using the loo. I'm not trying to take over his world (yet?) but I can't have stinky hands. I bought a 90 pack of soft soaps at my last Costco run so I'm just bringing one over. We'll see if he flips out. I doubt he'll mind as he's pretty even keeled and this isn't the same thing as, I don't know, moving furniture in his house, relocating art, or rummaging through the closets and dumping the New Kids on The Block T-shirts. For the record these are all hypothetical scenarios... I've seen no evidence NKOTB t's and the furniture is acceptably placed.

ok... I think I gotta run. Must actually get dressed before showing up for our day of fun.

Wait, one last thing. I hit "the rack" yesterday at lunch to buy some underwear because with the new smaller pants the grandma panties sticking up out of the top just doesn't scream "sassy". I bought some lovely and kind of provocative items. Last night I tried them on and I almost passed out because I was laughing so hard. I'm clearly NOT ready for super "sexy" underwear yet. I'll drop those in the back of the drawer and try again later. The little pink cotton briefs are cute. Cute I can handle and make sassy if I need to. The overtly sexy ones just look really silly.

Oh no, she's blogging about underwear. Time to go.

Oh, I'll take that challenge

I noticed tonight when I parked at the gym that my right front headlamp was burnt out. Damn it, and on a night when my new mechanic... er excuse me man friend (tee hee) is off making drinks for his family (at an event I didn't have to go to!) After my workout I zipped over to "Shucks" to pick up bulbs.

Once at home I whipped out the owners manual, because unlike my mom (hi mom!) I will take the time to read instructions (if they are less than 5 pages.)

The instructions basically said this:

"Replacing headlamps has become increasingly difficult and your dealer is equipped with the tools needed and you should have the bulbs replaced by the dealer little girl. You can't do it... take the car in and let a man do it."

Oh no you di'nt! I took it as a personal challenge. I'm not going to make an appointment, wait 5 hours, and pay $50 to change a headlamp. I dug right in and figured it out (without instructions - because the book wants me to drive to Bellevue.)

It wasn't too difficult once I wedged my hand into the freakishly small space and then figured out that there was a cap holding the bulb in place. It popped right out after I removed the cap. Go Figure.

Because my dad taught me well, I replaced both sides and tested the lamps to see if they worked. If they are woefully out of alignment... well, look away, I'm not jamming my hand back in that greasy small place ever again (until next time the bulbs burn out -- but then maybe I'll just get a new car.)

Now that I'm done I do acknowledge that this really was no job for a man with any sort of reasonable sized hands. I have little hobbit hands and barely managed to make it work. I wonder if the Volkswagen dealers are obligated to keep someone on staff with tiny doll hands for just such service calls?

8 month photos

Here I am 8 months after gastric by-pass surgery. I've lost 117 pounds and am the proud new owner of those hot red shoes!

I haven't decided if I'm keeping the skirt - which is why there is a tag visible. It was $108 and has about 3 weeks before it is too big - I'm not overly frugal, but since I haven't worn it yet ('sept in this photo) it may need to go back to the store.

I've included my "before" picture for comparison. Golly...who is that gal?

I'm a swinger!

A mood swinger that is (ha, made you flinch!)

This afternoon - pensive and obsessive. This early evening, back to "normal."

J and I had an excellent email exchange today regarding the state of things. Primarily around ensuring that we continue the "get to know you" portion of our evolution even though we are starting to see each other ALL THE TIME (a good thing.) It would be super easy to slip into a long term thing because we are so compatible without the important topics being explored.

You know topics like: dreams, hopes, goals, deal breakers, credit scores. His willingness to continue down that path and complete agreement that it is an important activity give me a lot of comfort.

Some of you have been with me a while. I have been ready, wanting, whining about the need for a partner since 1992 (damn, that is sad) but it is a scary thing to actually expose yourself. I'm open to it and enjoying myself greatly, but that doesn't mean that just because I've met this great guy that I'm immediately in love. Oh you'll know if I get there - not before J does, but you'll be on the "inform" list.

So, still home alone this evening. I'll be catching up on The Closer and maybe Project Runway. I'm pretty sure two hours of tv is too much to expect out of my crazy can't focus mind. Although, J and I did watch an entire movie on Sunday but we were holding hands - so that's cute right!? Or is it sticky sweet? I'm going with cute.

Hormones BLOW

Before my surgery my hormones rarely impacted my daily life. That was a bad thing for my body, but nice on the pocketbook, convenience factor and mood.

Now…mother nature is in full swing and damn it if I'm not subject to monthly mood swings.

Yesterday I was feeling needy and today I'm pensive and over-analyzing everything. I really don't know which is the worse mental defect to have. I solved yesterday's issues by extending a dinner invitation and not spending my evening alone. Tonight I think alone is the better option as I'm not sure I'm great company right now. For example I'm obsessing about an interaction I had at work yesterday and it's actually pissing me off that I can't get off the topic. There's nothing more to say or do on the issue and sharing it is frankly too boring even for this blog so I just need to move on. The need to do something and the ability to do it are different. I keep going over it and over it…I’m a crazy person.

In addition to being pensive and quiet (which is generally not a good sign for tpgal) I'm feeling overwhelmed with the new work responsibilities. In spite of the fact that the duties of my future-ex-boss are being spread out a LOT of it is coming my way. Some of it is work I don't really want to do, which makes it a challenge to engage. Whatever…they pay me well so I need to shut up. Maybe J. is a secret trust fund baby and I can quit and live off him. Yeah, because that would so be me… walking around Bell-Square with my dumb ass little dog in my designer purse spending someone else's money. Plus, I think 5 dates in might be too early to suggest that I quit my job and move in. Call me crazy but I don't think we're QUITE there yet.

New Topic

Issue resolved, with a very decent reply message I might add. The A - not an ass, just not good boyfriend material.

The new topic today... my weight. I know, it's not 'new' but it's a switch from the work/romance/work/romance stuff...

I'm 'holding' steady on the weight. I'm doing the 1 pound up and down fluctuation again. Last time this happened it was 2 months before I started dropping again. I hope this isn't a two or three month "stall" - maybe it's just all the summer recreational eating that has been happening.

I do need to focus on my water intake - especially since I've been getting in some great sessions at the gym. Dehydration is not a condition I want to contend with.

So, as of today...the little carbs that have been sneaking in are dead to me. I'm all about water and protein.

It's also new goal time. Now that I've hit the biggest milestone I could have ever imagined I need something new to work towards. I'll think on that and take some new photos tonight after work.

Here it is lunchtime again, and I'm doing the mid-workday post. Thankfully, it won't be about work (much) the transition of my soon to be former managers items onto my plate has started. HOLY CRAP.... in the last hour I've been inundated with meeting invitations to this ONE project she's on. In the next two weeks there are over 6 hours of meetings. Ideally there won't be much prep work for the meetings, but no wonder she was never anywhere that anyone could find her. Thankfully the project wraps up November 1, and I'm out October 1-27th.

Work is interesting, but I'm still fixated on the man situation. Since I haven't done this in a while (um...ever maybe?) it's all very new and exciting. J and I are doing a lot of talking which is great. I'm totally hooked but want to make sure that I'm really into who he is as a person and not just groovin' on the idea of having someone who wants to hang out and talk to me. The (your word) ambivalent feelings of earlier are very much gone and replaced with a general sense of happiness.

June and Yaz expressed grave concerns regarding the situation with the Architect. Basically their point was... you're going to get hurt. Well that situation isn't causing me any agony - ok, a little which I'll get to in a moment, but I'm so much more invested in J at this moment that if it falls apart it is going to suck. I don't see it going that direction, but I'm so much further in over my head with J than I have been with anyone in a long time. It's good, scary but good. I told him last night that I felt like I was on really solid ground with him. The talking thing is great.

So... what's the left over crap with the Architect? It's about how to tell him I'm out. Sure, an email would be great - but I also think that firing off a "we're done" email to someone you weren't really dating seems odd. My other thought is to wait until he makes contact and tell him at that point that I'm out. Neither scenario is ideal. What's odd to me is that my behavior with the Architect and how I am with J are so totally different. I'm much more "me" with J, and I am not at all having second thoughts about having left whatever it was with the Architect behind. OK decision time: I'll send an email today and be done with it. The LAST thing I need is a sweet talking late night phone call from the wrong guy.

I know it is strange that I can't just work this crap out in my head. Writing about it helps.

UPDATE: 2PM - It's done. Let's all just say "whew." New chapter comin' up.

Kitchen Complete!!!!

Finally, with time and energy on my hands I have finished painting my kitchen.

The blinds will go back up before I head to bed so that tomorrow morning when I do the mostly naked walk for water that the early morning dog walkers don't get a horrific show.

I'll be stowing the painting materials and am happy to reclaim my house as "complete."

Maybe it's time to move. (or start a new project?)

Holy Can't Focus Batman!

If you thought I was distracted and unfocused before you should meet me today. (I'm technically at lunch right now, so I shouldn't be overly judged for blogging during the day.)

So far today all I've accomplished is fedexing Misty's laptop to Arizona, finished my SOX testing (which took all of 15 minutes), emailed the girls about the weekend's development and participated in two teleconference meetings. I'm trying to figure out what time I can leave today and not have it look like job abandonment... 12:30? Probably not.

Due to vacations, babies and flipped ATV's all my work friends that I could kill time with are gone. I have to just sit here and work. It's terrible - I know there are kids in Africa who don't have jobs, but it's summer, I'm hanging out with a great new guy and work frankly just doesn't compete.

I have to tell you about what J did that completely made my heart flip. He came over Sunday for my condo's lame BBQ and I had to leave him for 15 minutes in my house while I went back to help clean up. I handed him the remotes so he could entertain himself. When I got back he had the dang things programmed so one remote worked all my my TV devices. (swoon) It is a completely dumb thing and yet even now it makes me smile.

He should be careful, if he gets my damn wireless router to work I may thank him in an unladylike way, upstairs neighbor who can hear everything be damned. Some girls like flowers which I do, but tech support lasts longer and is kinda hot!

Ouch

I missed a phone call from Misty last night and figured it was her calling to talk about a text message I sent about the man situation. She and her fella Drew aka "the tall one" were visiting his family in Arizona and popped down into Mexico for the weekend.

When I got home and checked my voice mail there she was again, but this time left a message. She was completely panicked and clearly upset. The message said, "Call me back no matter what time. Just call. " There are messages and then there is tone of voice that scares the crap out of you. This was a tone of voice message. Knowing that it was after 1:30 am where she was I called anyway. She picked up on the first ring. Clearly, still up.

Earlier that afternoon she and Drew were in their last hour of a 3 hour ATV rental, driving around the Mexican desert when they flipped the vehicle. They were both strapped in, but as the ATV went sideways Drew put his arm out and crushed it terribly. The stars aligned and from nowhere a car full of non-English speaking men drove by and she flagged them down. They made room in their car and drove M&D into the nearest town and to the police station (where again, no one spoke any English.) These men were so intent on getting Drew to town that they were driving on sidewalks, they hit a parked car and zipped through intersections. Drew was alert and talking the whole time, but in a lot of pain. (He had broke his arm in 15 places.)

The police took them to the "hospital" which Misty said was the scariest place she'd ever been. Again with the situation that they don't speak Spanish so she ran out to the street to find anyone who could translate. She found some guy who was willing to come in and help, (thank you!!!) and within 20 minutes they established that the local hospital couldn't help. So they arranged to ambulance him to the border and then airlift him to the big hospital in where ever Arizona. (I'm thinking Phoenix, but I don't know.)

All told it only took three hours from the accident to the moment he was put on the helicopter. She had to go back to town, check out of the hotel, pay off the ATV people and then drive back to the hospital. When I called she was just driving into town and almost at the hospital.

Today she says that Drew has had one surgery and that the orthopedic guy said the damage was less than they originally thought, but that he does need to have a couple more surgeries. He'll end up having to have a bone graph (ouch) but likely won't lose the use of his hand. He's in serious pain and today the hospital staff is mostly just checking vitals and doing pain management. Misty seemed upset about that, but I assured her it was a good thing that he was having a day to stabilize and that they weren't having to run him through a million things.

It sounds like the worst weekend ever, and the moral of the story is when you flip your ATV - keep your damn hands inside the vehicle at all times. Being so far away I feel a little helpless, but I can provide moral support (and a fedex'd laptop.)

Well...well... well...

Turns out that you can find my blog if you have key words. (Let's everybody give a shout out to my new friend J. Hey J!)

I'm not horrified that J has the access to my inner (totally public) thoughts, I'm horrified that it took him like 2.4 seconds to figure out the "thing" with the Architect was (notice the past tense) about a physical thing and not really about a relationship. Why am I the last one to know these things?????

Anyway, he (J) was really honest and basically said that he's not into dating multiple people and doesn't really want to be with someone who is doing that and requested that I figure out what I was doing. It wasn't confrontational or even an ultimatum but a general request that I take the time to decide which way I wanted to go. No promises can be made about where things might go with J - heck, I don't know that but it wasn't a hard conclusion. It went like this:

Option 1: Hang on to the Architect for the hopes of a few nights here and there that are admittedly fun, but frustrating because it's not really dating. And in doing so let a nice guy whom I get along with and seems to want to spend time with me walk away.

Option 2: Ditch the Architect to explore the possibilities of maybe finding something real with someone who wants to get to know me, and who has the balls to say what he wants and needs.

Um... tick tock.... Bob, we'll take door number 2.

I was embarrassed but once I said that I'd rather explore something with J a sense of relief came over me. I'm kind of excited about seeing if it actually goes somewhere. We've already had the first really hard conversation and survived it and in doing so agreed to be honest about things. It's already the most grown up thing I've ever experienced. Although, when I joked in the car about the "big decks" on condos we passed he asked "What!? Are you 12?" Um... yes in fact, in my head is the mind of a stupid 12 year old boy... "big deck..." grow up TP. tee hee. I like that he doesn't hold back on the flipping me crap thing.

What's really too bad is that when I got home I had a wink (inbound flirt) from a new match.com guy. I'll ignore him, because I said I would... but it feels wrong to pass on "BuckNekid69" guy. You understand that... right? I mean, how on earth could BuckNekid69 not be looking for true and lasting love? I'm sure I'm missing the boat on this one.

As for our date today... it was a marathon. We made a quick stop at Target and then went to Snoqualmie falls, hiked down, found a place to eat lunch, sat by the river (held hands - how cute are we?) and eventually headed back to civilization. We had ice cream, went back to his place for a number of hours of talking, eventually ordered dinner and watched a movie. We were together about 11 hours and I didn't really want to leave, so I'll take that as a good sign.

I'm invited to a thing next weekend, but it involves the whole family (his, not mine) and I said I would go but I reserved the right to back out if it feels scary. Since his family is extremely important to him it would be good to know right away if that's a creepy thing (I'm kidding J!) or something I can live with. Based on the meeting with the cousin and her husband I'm thinking it's probably something I can handle. If the rest of the family is as nice and funny as Chelsey and Doug, then I'm going to like these people.

Redmond opted out, good riddance, the Architect is now old news and I'm left with one and actually pretty dang happy about it. You're probably not going to get blow by blow news going forward unless it turns to shit and then I'm sure I'll be blogging about it. Due to his class reunion, J won't be at the birthday thing... so you don't get to meet him - just yet. (Maybe he doesn't exist and I'm just the best fiction writer ever...nope - I'm not that good.)

For those of you who spent last week telling me I was about to blow something good... thank you, I've seen the light. Now we just need to add water and see what grows.

Milestone

They say you're never supposed to ask a woman her age or how much she weighs. (The police can get away with it because if you don't answer they tazer you...but that's a different relationship.)

These rules don't apply to me either, especially in this forum. I'm 39 (T minus 22 days) and as of this morning I no longer weigh 200+ pounds! I'm a hair under, and I'm sure my yogurt this morning popped it back over the top, but in my world the first thing in the morning pre-shower weigh-in is the official weight.

I thought I would be elated and want to celebrate, but I'm a tad bummed because I bought these cute capri jeans a few weeks ago and the weather being what it was and schedules I couldn't wear them. Put them on today....too big.

I dug out a pair of size 16 jeans (with stretch) and I'm going to wear them today. They are snug (not moose-knuckle tight) but I'm hopeful that I'll get the gay-coworker seal of approval later on this morning. The only problem with the jeans is that they sit low on the hip and my "sexy" grandma underwear have to be tucked under so as not to peak out the back. I could go commando - but at work? No. Maybe it's time to update the underwear situation. It use to be that no one ever saw them, but that seems to be changing.

Speaking of, (I'm kidding) the date with J last night was fun. We met at his house where I (in the bathroom) stripped off the business clothes and eased into casual pants and t-shirt for the outdoor concert at the Pine Lake Park. We picked up his cousin and her husband and then headed over. J's cousin is about ten years younger, but we all got along great. I felt bad that we didn't have a baby or a dog to corral during the show, but the hoards of families didn't turn on us. I'm invited back... clearly I made an ok impression. Strange though, I got the "hobby" question again. "What are your hobbies?" This is a big deal and my answers are lame. I um... spend time with friends, blog, and read. I work out a lot...

I have scrapbook stuff, but no real desire to do it. I like photography but I am not nearly at the same level or skill as MWR, so I wouldn't call myself a photographer. I'm enjoying kissing these new boys. I don't think "kissing multiple men" is an appropriate answer to the hobby question.

Anyway...back to the "celebration." I do get to break out the sexy hot shoes now (just need a place to go.)

Tee Hee

(Thanks Donna)

It only Wednesday

This week has been nutty.

My boss quit Monday. This could be good news for me career wise, but our senior manager has a gaggle of unqualified, unexperienced friends that he's been bringing in to the department - so we'll see. He and I have a meeting tomorrow (that I initiated) to talk about the program. A promotion would be financially significant, but would come at a price to my work-life balance, which I have protected. I don't work weekends, and night time work is a seldom occurrence for me. I'm not lazy, but I enjoy "at home tp" and don't want "work tp" to invade that space very often. I don't need the money...but I do have a vision for our team and since I'm mostly managing the work anyway it seems like a natural fit. I am pretty mouthy - i.e. I speak the truth which makes me a little unpopular. People say they want honesty, but if you fail to tell them how wonderful they are, they don't like it.

In addition to that yesterday I was "invited" to a meeting with one of our program managers who blind sided me with a request to the be business owner of a key initiative for our department. Sounds good right? Well - it's a 60% time commitment. So, now I'm stuck with having to figure out what to do - I've got one gal about to go on maternity leave and one who is brand new, like shiny new penny new. I need to get her up to speed quickly - AND keep the two interns and one leadership program kid busy for the next six months.

Oh lord... I'm going back to bed.

I decided to stay at MegaBank this year because of the weight loss journey, my thought was that I'd coast in a job I could do with my eyes shut and focus on getting healthy, maybe start to date (yeah!) and then move on after things stabilized (for me). My mistake was assuming MegaBank would be stable. Changing jobs is an option, but I do NOT want to move. I love this area and I have a huge system of friends who make my life really wonderful.

My head is spinning, and now it's time to either call in sick or get moving. I'm not a call in sick kind of gal - so off I go.

Gosh, thanks!

I have readers other than my mommy! I'm humbled that you'll spend even a moment of your day with me and thank you for your time and your comments.

I do want to clarify that I do not believe that someones political affiliation makes them a good or a bad person. I too have friends on both sides of the fence and appreciate the different perspective on issues.

I stand by my opinion that George Bush has been bad for our country. It's not a moral thing, or a condonement (it could be a word) of any other political figures action - it is just how I see the world.

J's political opinions are his own and I mentioned the republican thing mostly because it was funny that I who periodically have to give a shout out to the NSA for listening in on my phone calls with my "terrorist" friend Janie who is married to a man who was *gasp* born in Iran would be considering kissing a Bush backer. I'm sure phrases like "health care for the working poor" and "education for migrant workers" gets the NSA up in arms. (Not that my bleeding heart, care about the stupid earth, tax the shit out of everybody, blog doesn't catch their attention every now and then. Hey A-holes! )

My point.... do I have one? Sort of, I respect your opinions regardless of if they match mine or not as long as they aren't based on what the current (or any future or past) government spin happens to be at the moment.

"Mission Accomplished!"

wait a minute...what's going on here?

As I said earlier, the date Friday was nice. We talked for hours, laughed and generally had a great time. J. emailed Saturday, called Sunday and yesterday sent a "Happy Monday" email with an invitation to a pretty spectacular outing next Saturday. He's suggesting a hike and a picnic - the perfect summer activity date.

What's my issue, because you KNOW I have one. I'm worried that J is way more into me than I am into him. It's early and you never know, I might come around. I do think I need to let him know that I am seeing other people... delicately. Honesty must be balanced with kindness.

There is one thing about him that is extremely troublesome, and I'm almost afraid to tell you. He really is a nice guy, cares about his family, and even understands why WalMart is the evil empire. But he's *um* a Republican and he (hold on to your shorts) voted for Bush.... TWICE. Oh golly the horror.

I wouldn't kick someone to the curb for that, especially someone so nice but it is something I would like to understand. "Are you f*cking crazy!?" probably shouldn't be my opening line.

what an ass

“I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no, I don’t believe in gay adoption."

- Republican presidential hopeful John McCain tells The New York Times

Who is we? The League of Aging White Married Men with Convenient Theories To Placate Middle America???

Careful tp gal, your liberal voo doo is showing.

Odd... Redmond is out

After a furious round of emails, some flirty some not Redmond and I agreed to finally meet, but alas tonight I got this email:

Just got back from dinner with Mom - terrific!

I've been reflecting on meeting with you tomorrow night; been thinking about it all day. Like I said in my profile, this computer dating thing is odd to me, and I feel like I've gotten into before I was really ready. There is a lot in my life right now that is quite "untidy", and it needs to be cleaned up before I can truly allow myself to open up to someone. I need to retract my invitation to you. I don't expect you to understand, nor am I at all implying that you made me uncomfortable at all. Just the opposite, as a matter of fact. This supercedes this whole "profile" thing, and it's important to me to get things right on a personal level.

I really appreciate that you would like to meet me, and I'm sorry for wasting your time.

Take care,

Redmond

I was sitting at the computer when it popped in so here was my reply:

Redmond,
Well, thanks for your honesty. I hope you are able to get things straight. I do understand about not being ready - I had an unfortunate round with eHarmony about a year ago and wasn't at all in a place where I was really open to getting out there. I'm finding that this dating thing is 90% what you give off and if you're not ready - you're just not.

Feel free to reach out if you change your mind or miss me (ha). You are also welcome to continue writing if you like. And please don't fret about "wasting my time" or hurting my feelings; I feel like you're someone I could really be friends with so that time spent on that can't at all be wasted.

To be 100% honest, I wondered when you said that you were moving (and were vague about it) if you weren't moving out of your house with the ex. It's just a hunch I had - and you don't need to confirm or deny that because ultimately it doesn't matter. What does matter is that you seem to be a decent guy, and I encourage you not to let the turmoil of what's going on in your personal life distract you too much from the fact that we all, you included have a right to be happy.

You stole my standard salutation "take care" so I'll leave you as, your friend,
T

It's too bad, but I'm not feeling it's about me. So other than a little disappointment about not being able to see this through, there's no fall out. I guess this means he won't be coming to the birthday party. Ha Ha

I have no idea who I am these days...

The tp gal of yore did not date. She did not email men, she did not have PG rated sessions of kissing in her living room. She did not have sleepovers...

For right now, it seems as though that old gal is gone. There was the nice date Friday with J. I'm meeting the Architect tonight for drinks and... (I suggested scrabble and he suggested twister) and then there's Redmond. He and I are finally meeting on Monday. He suggested Sunday night, but I just couldn't go out with three different men three nights in a row. My head would explode.

The racoon friends asked about the Architect and basically the story is this. We made contact on a dark and wine imbibed night and had a sleep over. We talked for hours and into the next morning and it turns out we're going to be friends. He's not a boyfriend and I'm ok with that. He's a good guy who is rather fun to be around. Maybe some of my more conservative readers may judge me for having a friend with benefits, but I'm not feeling at all bad about it. I think as long as I don't pass up the opportunity to meet someone who is ready to have a girlfriend to be with him, I'm on solid ground. So far, it is not holding me back. I also think that as long as we're both getting something out of it, then it's ok. The moment it is one sided for either of us, then it's time to walk away.

I was given the "sex complicates things" talk today from one of my wise friends. She is 100% correct and I am taking care to be honest with myself about what this is. Who knows if things go well with J. or Redmond, the Architect could be history before Labor Day.

It's Summer! Woo Hoo

The date recap

As first dates go, I think this one was pretty good. eB#2 and I met at the Red House at 5 last night for tapas. 5 seemed a little early, but because we were able to get a table on the patio it was lovely. We were a tad too close to the speaker and the wacky jazz was distracting at times.

J picked a great wine, a Walla Walla white, and we talked at the restaurant for three hours. We went back to my place for a second bottle of wine and J gets points for not assuming it was an invitation for sex (it wasn't) and gets bonus points for taking time out to make fun of me a little.

We talked until well after 11 - he was a gentleman and didn't make a pass. But because I'm all of 16, I did. We did a little G rated kissing - well, maybe PG. Again, you're not getting details, I am a lady.

I accidentally dished on the fact that I'm a blogger (oops) and did share about the weight loss surgery situation. He was actually pretty cool about both things.

We're going out again Thursday. A concert in the park in Sammamish. Sounds like fun!

I am UP this morning no sleeping in for me today. Since I can't sleep I'm off to the gym. (WHO IS THIS NEW GIRL?)

Have a spectacular Saturday and put on sunscreen - it's going to be a hot one.

Home... Good

The shower I took yesterday was so wonderful that I'm hard pressed to compare it to anything of late. Yes... it was even better than necking on my couch with the Architect. That's significant.

I slept in this morning and then took a carload of too big clothes to goodwill. I spent some quality time at the gym before having my feet repaired at Formosa Nail. (They really only do one nail at a time.) I did tip big, and brought THE shoes for a color matching. I have hopes of getting to wear them Saturday, but am right now putting off calling the Architect. I don't really know what that's about - maybe I'm worried he'll decline my exciting offer of dinner and more kissing.

I do have a date tomorrow with eBoyfriend #2. He asked that I call him when I got back to town, so last night we had a nice second phone call while I unpacked. He did make me laugh a couple times, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. (I don't mean 100% kiss of death "nice" - but a decent person.) We'll be at the Red Door Beer and Wine House in Renton at 5pm if you feel like you want an in person preview of the date recap. I like the Red Door because they have a great wine selection and it's tapas which should be less of an issue food wise. I'm having a little anxiety over explaining why I don't really eat to a new dude. (I haven't shared food yet with the Architect, but have mentioned the significant weight loss.) eBoyfriend#2 seems smart and not at all like someone who would bolt when he found out I was "special" so I'm sure it's more of a me thing. Maybe it won't come up.

If I don't call the Architect now, I won't be able to do it until after 9 - and I don't want him to think I'm making a booty call - especially on what is for him a school night.

I went for a walk today with a lady from my church. Darcy is 50 and her husband died last winter. She and I had met casually a few times, but I ran into her at the blurry baptism a couple weeks ago and I suggested since we are neighbors that we go walking every now and then. She's really sweet and is just now starting to dip her toes in the dating pool again. We walked for an hour and discussed dating the whole time. It's all I can talk about these days... Obama who????

I'm off to dinner with Ali so I'm done for now. Wish me luck tomorrow.

Camping

There's no phone service where we are, so this will post once we head up out of this hole.

We are dry camping at Clearlake which is about 25 miles east of Packwood on White Pass. The grounds are fantastic, with the sound of the river providing a soothing backdrop.

The air is thick with mosquitos and I have always been an attractive target for the little blood suckers. So far today I have been bit on my legs, shoulders, neck, FOREHEAD and the palm of my left hand. I am covered in "OFF" which so far isn't too impressive. My $15 deet spary has expired and is just an environmental hazard at this point.

My uncle John brought two of his grandsons (13 and 11) and they are pretty great. Pat (a friend of aunt Glenda) brought her grandsons too (12 & 14) and those boys belong in jail. They are sullen, only happy when yielding (wielding?) an ax. Their fire was so big last night that the sparks were popping up into the dry trees.

Those of you who know me know that I don't mess with danger stuff as a hobby. I'm slightly risk averse. So I'll tell you that my uncle Ed who is the king of danger behaviour offered to drive the boys deeper into the woods to save mankind some trouble. I tell you that as validation that these thugs are not just my imagination.

Dry camping, means no water. The river is cold and running too fast for playing. I will be without a proper shower until Thursday. I feel sorry for the pedicure lady that will have to clean up these feet Friday. I'll tip big.

I'm hanging out under a tree with my book, water, and bucket of OFF. I'm a bit technology deprived, hence the useless messaging. This is good practice for the three week Greece trip. For that trip the phone and blackberry won't travel with me.

The relatives are very interested in the dating situation. Uncle Ed thinks that bringing a manfriend on a family camping trip is a good idea. Hmmm....magic 8 ball says. "Situation Doubtful".

Back in contact

My iPhone completely malfunctioned and it was beyond traumatic. I turned it on to show the AT&T guy and it started dialing phone numbers, texting and playing random music. The texting was especially scary because it was clicking on the Architects name and the LAST thing in the world that situation needs is bizarre texts.

The Apple "genius" took about 4 minutes to diagnose the phone as catastrophically damaged, and about 1 minute to pull a brand new phone out and set it up. Sweet! I was not excited about being without communication for a week.

While I was waiting for my appointment I killed time at Nordstrom's and purchased my next weight loss incentive treat. Shoes! They are...hot! I'll try to post the pix.

Have a great Monday!

Darned iPhone ( and other random thoughts)

Something is up with my phone. The touch panel is not responsive and my trick of shutting it off to reset it only worked the first five times.

My warranty is about to run out so I can't ignore it for long. I'll have to call tomorrow and see what the deal is.

Other things are as follows: Redmond is apparently trapped under heavy furniture and while I do want to hear from him, I'm putting his application for future couch kisser on the back burner. That's easy since he's not calling or emailing all I really have to do is not care.

My lunch "date" today was not a date. But it was fun... I had a glass of wine with lunch which made the afternoon buzz by.

Oh gosh....here's something terrible and funny. We have this initiative at work going on that is all about changing the organization (for the better). Project Re-Do. Today we got the preholiday pep email from our senior manager and she compared the founding of our country to Project Re-Do. I think she meant the part where we kicked the Brits to the curb, not the part where we uprooted the native inhabitants of this land we call ours. (Um, we're about to be ethnically cleansed?)

The uptight dude who sits near me didn't think it was all that funny, but then said. "Hmmm, I don't think the comparison works. The Pilgrims couldn't outsource the founding of the country to India. Bwahahaha.

I'm off this evening for a night of dancing. I asked the Architect I'd he wanted to go, but he's passing on an evening out with my gay posse. Whatever. (I didn't expect that he would go. )

Have a great weekend. I'm camping next week so posts might be few and mostly whiny about the heat.

Thunder

I love a good summer storm. The rain and lightening woke me up a number of times last night. I listened for a while and then would blissfully fade back to sleep.

Go Mother Nature!

Now... stop it with the rain. I've got a lunch date today and don't want flat hair.

Plus, I'm going dancing this evening and don't want to get soaked as we migrate from the boys apartment to the club. Yes, this evening I'm going out with not one, but (if everyone shows) 5 HOT men... they're all gay, but still. I'm looking forward to it.

I invited the Architect, but even though he's not a homophobe I'm 98% sure that a night out with his "non-girlfriend" and a million gay guys might not be high on his list. I tried to make it sound as fun as possible. "You can relive your high school prom (because I'm sure there were lots of gay guys at your Oklahoma prom.)"

I decided last night to go to Becky's cabin for the 4th. Just for the night, but she seemed happy that I asked if I could come. Being there is so relaxing and it's good to hang out with her boys. Cols & Brett are wonderful. I'll head to eastern Wa from there.

Email from Mom

This was in my mailbox this morning:

"WOW, Terri. I did not have my glasses on when I opened your site and did not recognize you. I went for my glasses and still had a little trouble seeing it was you [Mom's tears got in the way] YOU GO GIRL"

Aw shucks… thanks!