Turns out that you can find my blog if you have key words. (Let's everybody give a shout out to my new friend J. Hey J!)
I'm not horrified that J has the access to my inner (totally public) thoughts, I'm horrified that it took him like 2.4 seconds to figure out the "thing" with the Architect was (notice the past tense) about a physical thing and not really about a relationship. Why am I the last one to know these things?????
Anyway, he (J) was really honest and basically said that he's not into dating multiple people and doesn't really want to be with someone who is doing that and requested that I figure out what I was doing. It wasn't confrontational or even an ultimatum but a general request that I take the time to decide which way I wanted to go. No promises can be made about where things might go with J - heck, I don't know that but it wasn't a hard conclusion. It went like this:
Option 1: Hang on to the Architect for the hopes of a few nights here and there that are admittedly fun, but frustrating because it's not really dating. And in doing so let a nice guy whom I get along with and seems to want to spend time with me walk away.
Option 2: Ditch the Architect to explore the possibilities of maybe finding something real with someone who wants to get to know me, and who has the balls to say what he wants and needs.
Um... tick tock.... Bob, we'll take door number 2.
I was embarrassed but once I said that I'd rather explore something with J a sense of relief came over me. I'm kind of excited about seeing if it actually goes somewhere. We've already had the first really hard conversation and survived it and in doing so agreed to be honest about things. It's already the most grown up thing I've ever experienced. Although, when I joked in the car about the "big decks" on condos we passed he asked "What!? Are you 12?" Um... yes in fact, in my head is the mind of a stupid 12 year old boy... "big deck..." grow up TP. tee hee. I like that he doesn't hold back on the flipping me crap thing.
What's really too bad is that when I got home I had a wink (inbound flirt) from a new match.com guy. I'll ignore him, because I said I would... but it feels wrong to pass on "BuckNekid69" guy. You understand that... right? I mean, how on earth could BuckNekid69 not be looking for true and lasting love? I'm sure I'm missing the boat on this one.
As for our date today... it was a marathon. We made a quick stop at Target and then went to Snoqualmie falls, hiked down, found a place to eat lunch, sat by the river (held hands - how cute are we?) and eventually headed back to civilization. We had ice cream, went back to his place for a number of hours of talking, eventually ordered dinner and watched a movie. We were together about 11 hours and I didn't really want to leave, so I'll take that as a good sign.
I'm invited to a thing next weekend, but it involves the whole family (his, not mine) and I said I would go but I reserved the right to back out if it feels scary. Since his family is extremely important to him it would be good to know right away if that's a creepy thing (I'm kidding J!) or something I can live with. Based on the meeting with the cousin and her husband I'm thinking it's probably something I can handle. If the rest of the family is as nice and funny as Chelsey and Doug, then I'm going to like these people.
Redmond opted out, good riddance, the Architect is now old news and I'm left with one and actually pretty dang happy about it. You're probably not going to get blow by blow news going forward unless it turns to shit and then I'm sure I'll be blogging about it. Due to his class reunion, J won't be at the birthday thing... so you don't get to meet him - just yet. (Maybe he doesn't exist and I'm just the best fiction writer ever...nope - I'm not that good.)
For those of you who spent last week telling me I was about to blow something good... thank you, I've seen the light. Now we just need to add water and see what grows.
3 comments:
This sounds really promising... and fun too!
When I met my husband, I was in college and headed out for spring break right after our first date. He called me while I was away and asked if I would go with him to his Grandmother's for her birthday... so I said sure... it wasn't until we were about a block away that I found out that his entire family would be there... 7 aunts and uncles... cousins with kids, and everything!! I was freaked out, but they made me feel so welcome... don't let fear get the best of you, because I'm sure if you like J - his family will be similar... they raised him afterall! :-)
I'm glad you have achieved additional clarity from J's industry in locating your blog and his I-won't-say-shameless willingness to let you know he dug it up and read it.
What were the keywords?
oh well, here's where I lose my security and IT credentials. I emailed him the text from our first date follow up. All he had to do was google a sentance and boom - there it is.
To be honest, I really don't mind. At the end of the day I got what I really wanted and I'm happy that he had the guts to say what he needed.
Post a Comment