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Monday, June 23, 2008

Where I'm at... And a POEM

The thing about being sad is that you have to pick yourself up and move on. It doesn't mean I'm not feeling a tad raw and exposed. I openly cried at the vet while taking care of the bill. A little girl was very interested in my situation. "Mommy! Why is that lady crying???" All I could do was wipe off and smile. I put all the cat paraphernalia away and kept music on last night to distract myself from the quiet. I did hear phantom Peter sounds all night, but those will fade.

One of the e-boyfriends is in trouble over this situation. He emailed Thursday asking about MegaBank and suggested that we transition from email to phone. I responded with a brief thing about MB that while neither I nor my team was affected it was a hard day, and on top of that drama my cat of 14 years was ill. I wasn't feeling like my normal chipper self and said I would call him Monday. "I know it's "just" a cat, but I'm a little heartbroken. I sincerely hope you have a great weekend and thank you for understanding."

Ok… it is MONDAY and he didn’t send ANY reply at all. Not even a short "talk to you Monday." I don't need this dude to be my emotional support person, but a teeny tiny splash of compassion might be in order. I'm thinking I don't need to be calling today…if/when he replies I'll call. I'm still doing the editing of who does or doesn't get into my world… yes there are 40 women for every dude, but damn it I'm worthy of the best!

ANYWAY… here's my poem from the slam. Some of the rhymes are very bad and for that I apologize.

The 40 Is Just a Number Slam Poem:


Hello to those of you who haven’t seen me of late
It may be obvious that I’ve lost a little bit of weight,
Things are changing in my life; exercise I no longer hate
I’m active, having a blast and even starting to date
For the most part, this crazy process is pretty fun
Find a guy, who when you show up doesn’t run
Spend some time together and at end if it feels right.
Drop me off at my door for a sweet kiss good-night
The pool of men in my world has a lot of variety
And not just ones who are with me for charity
There are some though that are mighty scary,
Let’s not forget the one that was still married
This guy invited me to a party; a real hum-dinger,
Casual, hot-tubs, consensual ... Shit, this guy was a swinger!
The Architect was smooth, funny and had a good line,
We enjoyed the evening, talked and drank quite a bit of wine.
By the way, to make sure a second outing you will not rate,
Go ahead, give in, and enjoy some sex on the first date
I’ll be honest, at first I was a little pissed, kind of burned,
With time, I’ve realized it was a fun way to a lesson learned.
In the end, I am looking for my one true love,
Someone who gets me and fits like a glove.
It is still so very early and I have lots of time,
So this is me filled with hope, and I end my rhyme.

4 comments:

MWR said...

Very sorry to hear about Peter. He was lovely.

I suggest you review your interaction with this guy based on the actual communications you had with him. If on a Thursday you tell a very new acquaintance that you have a lot going on (especially if it is personal emotional stuff), and you wish him a great weekend and tell him you will call him on Monday, that's a sign-off for the weekend. He might have sent a quick note back, but many people routinely don't close email loops. It's quite possible the guy interpreted your message as a statement that you didn't have the bandwidth to deal with him before Monday. He is waiting for you to call him on Monday, which is what you said the next interaction would be.

I don't think you can much fault the guy for awaiting the Monday call that you indicated would be your next communication with each other. I suggest you just call him and skip the parsing and the drama, which is always what people say they want to avoid in the early part of dating. Also, consider whether you just said "cat is ill" or gave a more grave prognosis. "Cat is ill" does not trigger the same responses as "cat may not make it through the weekend."

I'm not saying the guy isn't a cretin, by the way. He very well may be.

MWR said...

"there are 40 women for every dude"

I don't recommend basing dating assumptions on conceptions of how jihadist martyrs will be rewarded in paradise.

tp_gal said...

Oh you are so funny, but you should note that nowhere do I even remotely suggest... virgins!

And... I'll be calling the e-boyfriend tonight per your suggestion.

tp_gal said...

oh gosh, how funny to run back over this post now that eB#2 and I are actually dating and it turns out he is amazing in the communication category - and is compassionate.

How sad would I be if I hadn't followed MWR's advice to call.